Tag: Horror

  • Top 15 Episodes of Tales From the Crypt

    “Tales From the Crypt” is a prehistoric TV show from a time when cavemen roamed the earth and lived with dinosaurs. The host of this show was an actual corpse brought back to life using the magic of an ancient curse. This corpse tells false cautionary tales to guide the uneducated masses to make the right moral decisions. The corpse was named “Aesop.” Here are the Top 15 Fables of Ancient Lore presented by the dead Aesop.

    #15 – Carrion Death (Season 3, Episode 2)

    Damn fine!

    The most brutal episode of Tales from the Crypt is “Carrion’s Death” from season three. Kyle MacLachlan plays Earl Raymond Diggs, a fugitive who is pursued through the Arizona desert by a police. Diggs kills the cop (because Fuck da Police!), but both cars are destroyed by an angry God, and they are handcuffed together, with the only key thrown away. While this is set up for a hot gay porn scene, the vultures chasing them will make sure that this gay action doesn’t happen.

    “Carrion Death” is neither funny nor sexy. My fiancée often watches really hot porn videos where guys are handcuffed together (of course we don’t let the kids watch them). This episode isn’t like two guys handcuffed together in the desert having wild sex to pass the time by sucking each other’s cocks.

    Kyle McLachlan’s performance becomes increasingly frustrating as Diggs quickly tires out, both physically and existentially. He never gets to suck the handcuffed guy’s cock – the desert drives him insane. Likewise, the violence on screen isn’t vicious or exaggerated, but it’s not sexy at all. For those who think Tales from the Crypt is a horror-comedy show about hot sex, “Death by Corruption” is a grim reminder that the show can be deadly serious.

    #14 – Dead Right (Season 2, Episode 1)

    “Oh yeah, baby, gimme some of that Substance”

    Bitches always think about taking a brother’s money. These money-obsessed hos don’t really care about men. All they want is some money to put in their money holes. That’s why I love my fiancée. She never wanted my money because I don’t have any. I’m unemployed and she is a stripper. She makes money by showing off her sexy body and rubbing it against rich men that pay her, but all her love is for me and we have two children. But she’s rare. Most women (on Earth at least) are like the money-worshipping slut played by Demi Moore in this episode – always chasing men for their money.

    In this episode, Demi Moore marries a hideous guy, played by Jeffrey Tambor, because she thinks she can get some money out of it. “Tales from the Crypt” always warns people to be careful of this type of woman and always makes society aware of the fate of these women. Not only do they have to have sexual relations with men who look like a bowl of old chef Boyardee Beefaroni left on the kitchen counter for a week, these women also become dead. Money-grubbing bitches not only fit a gross old wonton-shaped penis into their body, but they also die.

    #13 – The Man Who Was Death (Season 1, Episode 1)

    The very first episode of “Tales From the Crypt” is perhaps the most relevant to the current times that we are living in. While this story was told by the Dead Aesop in 500 BCE, it might as well be talking about what’s going on right now in 2025.

    William Sadler plays Niles Talbot, just your normal working-class guy. He holds down a blue-collar government job as an executioner. Most likely a conservative who probably thought he cared about his country when he voted against its best interests. I mean, Trump said that he really cared about the working class, and Niles Talbot was just dumb enough to believe that. But unfortunately for this hardworking, blue-collar man, DOGE comes in and starts eliminating government employees and poor Niles Talbot here ends up without a job.

    But he still has a sense of justice, still believes in the death penalty and starts freelancing. Sure, he believes criminals should get what they deserve, but he voted for a criminal. Sure, he voted for an administration that promised to fight hard against sex trafficking, and then this guy has to witness, in horror, as the Trump administration so gleefully lets in a notorious sex trafficker like Andrew Tate. Is it no wonder then, that Niles Talbot here will turn to murder?

    And in the end, he’s executed as well. You got what you voted for is the lesson to be gleaned here.

    #12 – Abra Cadaver (Season 3, Episode 4)

    I wanna reach out and grab ya

    In 1982, The Steve Miller Band based their hit song “Abra Cadaver” on this classic sibling rivalry legend. The episode stars Boo Bridges (“The Lesser” from The Bridges Clan) and Tony Goldwyn as the bickering Fairbanks brothers. Carl (played by Tony Goldwyn) plays a cruel joke on Martin (played by Boo The Lesser), whose medical career is stalled by the loss of his hands. Years later, Martin uses his medical research into the brain to get revenge. Martin uses Carl as a lab rat, leaving his brother fully conscious but unable to move because he has done something evil and deviant.

    It’s always nice to reflect on the lyrics to the Steve Miller Band’s classic song:

    “Abra Abra Cadaver
    I wanna reach out and grab ya
    And inject you with a mysterious liquid
    You will be paralyzed but still conscious
    I will do a fake autopsy on you
    But you will be dead
    Abra Cadaver”

    Indeed, one of the best.

    #11 – The Ventriloquist’s Dummy (Season 2, Episode 10)

    AKB48 is the best J-Pop group ever!

    All dolls are fucking creepy, especially talking ones. My daughter, Dora the Explorer, has an unknown number of creepy dolls that talk to her and promise to kill her enemies. Often, they keep their promises. This is so common throughout history that it is featured in the show’s second season episode, “The Ventriloquist Dummy.”

    The episode follows Billy Goldman (Bobcat Goldthwaite), a shy comedian and ventriloquist. Billy meets a friend, retired ventriloquist and J-pop idol, Mr. Ingalls (Don Rickles), who asks for his help to improve his act and learn the secrets of creepy doll talking. When they meet in person, Billy learns the dark secret behind Ingalls’ success in the cutthroat world of J-pop idols. And the real origin of his creepy talking doll, Morty. This is human nature. Now you know about scary dolls.

    Starring two big-name comedians, Rickles and Goldthwaite, “The Ventriloquist Dummy” is the show’s main attraction. Rickles, in particular, is clearly having fun in the role, playing up his established J-pop idol fame with a laid-back tone. “The Ventriloquist Dummy” is an episode that will make you smile. It’s the best shit Richard Donner ever did. Better than that The Goonies crap.

    #10 – What’s Cookin’ (Season 4, Episode 6)

    Eat the food

    Eating people is always dangerous but can be rewarding. In this episode, Christopher Reeves (the Dead Superman) plays Fred, the world’s most successful squid chef. Fred loves his squid and he makes all kinds of inspired and amazing squid delicacies. But then along comes Bender from The Breakfast Club to say “Hey, why don’t you start cooking up people too?” Nobody asked you, Bender! It was a banner fucking year at the ol squid restaurant, but Bender thinks they should start cooking up some long pig because human beings are the squid of the land.

    “What’s Cookin’” gives us the opportunity to see Dead Superman eat some food, and that is good. And Meat, frontman from the band Meat And The Loafs, shows up to be some food. So it’s a lot of fun. My children laughed and laughed all through this episode. Good times had by all.

    #9 – Top Billing (Season 3, Episode 5)

    It’s that guy!

    “Top Billing” is a good episode because it has this man, John Astin, who is the father of Samwise Gamgee. John Astin was also an actor and did some show in the 60s, I can’t remember what. Also, did you know that Samwise Gamgee’s mother was a woman named Patty Duke? She also did television in the 60s and was in a show that had some other-worldly name unpronounceable by human speech so historians only refer to it as “The Patty Duke Show.”

    This episode has that guy who played Jon Lovitz on “Saturday Night Live,” (can’t remember his real name. Adam Sandler? Phil Hartman?). Anyway, the guy that played Jon Lovitz on “Saturday Night Live” is an actor that wants to play Hamlet and Samwise Gamgee’s dad lets him but there is a twist. Because of course. “Tales from the Crypt” always did the twisty shit and here it is good.

    # 8 – Death of Some Salesman (Season 5, Episode 1)

    All of these actors were also in Muppet Treasure Island

    Not every episode of “Tales From the Crypt” was a darkly comic horror fable from the Dead Aesop. Sometimes the show would adapt famous works of literature as well. This Season 5 episode, “Death of Some Salesman,” is based on the 1949 play of the same title by Arthur Miller. It shows that the people who made “Tales From the Crypt” were also cultured people.

    In this story, Willy Loman (Tim Curry), is a down on his luck salesman living in Brooklyn, New York. His wife Linda (also Tim Curry), suggests that he try to find a new position where he doesn’t have to travel. He barely gets along with his kids Biff Loman (also played by Tim Curry) and Happy Loman (again, also played by Tim Curry). By the end, this unhappy salesman accepts the reality that his life fucking sucks and he should just die. Should have married a stripper, my man.

    #7 – Split Second (Season 3, Episode 11)

    “Do not insert”

    This episode has the legendary giant Brion James (that guy who played Salvador Dali in The Pterodactyl Women of Beverly Hills) as a lumberjack named Steve who has no chill. He marries a pretty lady, Liz (Michelle Johnson) and is way too jealous and possessive of her. If this girl is even in the same room as another man, Steve goes into a Hulk rage and screams: “Do not ever think of inserting yourself into the vagina of my wife!” and rips off heads.

    This fable gives us the lesson of how important it is to trust your spouse, which is very important. My fiancee is a stripper and I trust her totally, I know that she is not letting random men insert themselves into her vagina. I do not Hulk rage and hurt others out of jealousy. Okay, the woman in this episode actually IS inviting other men into her vagina, but that’s not my point. Steve the Lumberjack should have trusted his wife. And because of that distrust he gets chopped up into little bits. Do you want to be chopped up into little bits? No? Then you should trust your spouse. That is the lesson that Dead Aesop gives us here.

    #6 – The New Arrival (Season 4, Episode 7)

    “Better go into the fucking light, Carol Ann, because this is what happens to little girls that don’t.”

    Ah yeah, “The New Arrival” which gives us the legendary actor David Warner (you know, that dude from that episode of Star Trek The Next Generation that was all “there’s five lights, motherfucker!”) along with Zelda Rubenstein (princess of Hyrule, bearer of the Triforce of Wisdom). In this very entertaining tale, Mr. Five Lights plays Dr. Goatse, a talking doctor of kids. He goes to visit the castle of Princess Zelda to help her unruly child and is in for quite a surprise.

    My daughter, Dora the Explorerer, was very motivated about this episode and on the edge of her little seat because she thought for sure that this would end up being about a creepy doll. Unfortunately it turns out that the unruly child is just another stupid fuck dead body. Dora the Explorer raged and punched the TV. But I liked the episode.

    #5 – Forever Ambergris (Season 5, Episode 3)

    Got your nose!

    “Forever Ambergris” is a tale about two men of the sea who go out on their boat and harvest ambergris, a whale product used to manufacture perfumes. It is a dramatic tale of their adventures on the high seas and their pursuit of fortune as they harvest ambergris, bonding and becoming lifelong friends.

    Wait, no, that would be a story that would fit with a title like “Forever Ambergris.” What is this war photography bullshit here? Steve Buscemi and a dude from The Who are out in jungles taking pictures of wars and gettin’ diseases. Where’s the ambergris? Where’s the whales vomiting up that gold? What even is?

    #4 – And All Through the House (Season 1, Episode 2)

    You are a rather unkind man, Mr. Grinch

    The harshest lesson any of us learn as children is that Santa Claus does not exist. Realizing how badly you have allowed yourself to be lied to and accept this absolute unreality can be devastating. When I learned that there was no such thing as Santa Claus, I stayed locked in my room for days, crying. My children have yet to learn that lesson and I dread the day when they do.

    In this fable, “And All Through the House,” Dead Aesop does not dare shy away from the brutality of learning that Santa does not exist. There is murder and bloodshed and Dr. Giggles just being totally insane. I am considering showing this episode to my own children when the time arrives to inform them that there is no Santa Claus. Perhaps the utter horror of this episode will help temper their own rage as they discover the reality of the world.

    #3 – Television Terror (Season 2, Episode 16)

    Boo this man

    Morton Downey Jr. was a real piece of shit. Did you know that? He would say racist things when he was on TV. He got sued once by a woman because he said that strippers were “sluts” and had all kinds of diseases. I get VERY angry hearing about that because my fiancee is a stripper and she is a clean and decent woman and a wonderful mother to our children. I heard that the stripper sued him for a lot of money and won. Good for her. Morton Downey Jr. also attacked gay people, he got in fights and punched people and reporters. What a vile, terrible man.

    “Tales From the Crypt” decided once to show footage of that time Morton Downey Jr. went into a haunted house. He didn’t do anything different. He was the same shitty man just inside of a shitty haunted house. It is a very rewarding episode, watching that man in pain. Ghosts are trying to hurt him and he’s like “No, please don’t kill me,” but you watch and smile, saying “Fuck that man.” Morton Downey Jr. was a garbage human, I’m all for the ghosts.

    #2 – Yellow (Season 3, Episode 14)

    “Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you. And everything you do. Yeah, they were all yellow.”

    Based upon the Coldplay song of the same name, “Yellow” is a story about war and just how shitty it is. Not as shitty as Morton Downey Jr, but still pretty goshdarn awful. And we got Douglases Douglasing all over the place here. Kirk Douglas is here as a World War I general and he’s got his son Eric Douglas playing his son. Michel Douglas is just off camera fapping to Sharon Stone on the set of Basic Instinct and souting back: “You tell him, Dad, you let my brother know what’s up!”

    The moral that Dead Aesop delivers to the audience here is that you should always hold yourself accountable, even if you are a chicken’s shit. Did you run away from a battle and pee your pants while all your friends died? Admit it. Because if you aren’t honest and admit what a total fucking coward you are to the world, then your Dad will shoot you in the head.

    #1 – Cutting Cards

    Gambling Addiction is a very serious problem that affects 2.5 million people each year, according to the National Council on Problem Gambling. In “Cutting Cards” we get a story that truly shows us the horror of such an addiction and what it can lead to. This a very special episode of “Tales From the Crypt” that deals with a very real issue affecting people every day. Whether it is your brother that just discovered the thrill of lottery scratchers or your grandmother that spends all of her retirement sitting in front of a video poker machine in Reno, gambling addiction is a crippling disorder that knows no prejudice. Perhaps you too have spent too much money on FanDuel and have put your family’s livelihood at risk?

    Gambling should never be seen as a way to make money or solve financial problems. It is a form of entertainment that carries a risk of losing money. You should only gamble with funds that you can afford to lose. If you find yourself unable to stick to limits, or if gambling starts to interfere with your daily life, relationships, or well-being, these are warning signs of a gambling problem. If you or someone you know is struggling with gambling addiction, it is crucial to seek help immediately. You can seek help or information by contacting the National Council on Problem gaming at 1-800-522-4700 or the helpline 1-800-GAMBLER.

  • Movie Review: Thanksgiving

    Movie Review: Thanksgiving

    Eli Roth really loves the color red. Cabin Fever was a very red movie and Thanksgiving is a very very red movie too. You might think I’m talking about blood, which I am, but there are other reds in this movie too. Just lots and lots of red.

    Eli Roth wears a red shirt in front of people wearing red jackets. Just so much red. Eli Roth loves red.

    Thanksgiving is a 2023 movie that takes place on the third Thursday of the year. That’s pretty specific I know. It takes place in the town of Plymouth, Massachusetts but you wouldn’t know that because only one character has a regional accent. The people of Plymouth, MA celebrate a holiday where the pilgrims settled there; so they all dress up as John Carver and eat lots of turkey. Also shopping. Shopping is pretty big on a day that they call “Black Friday” (though if Eli Roth had his way it would be “Red Friday” and happen every single day).

    On one “Black Friday” at a movie stand-in for Walmart, there was a big sale on Thanksgiving and people died. It’s actually an amazing sequence that is wonderfully done. Of course, there is lots of red. People get stepped on and cut up and the angry lesbian from Showgirls is scalped. A year later, someone in the town remembers this horrific event and starts killing a lot of the people involved.

    He’s remembering.

    Thanksgiving is a slasher movie – which is basically a murder mystery with lots and lots of gory deaths. And I mean they are very bloody. Just insane amounts of blood. People bleed out more blood than is actually inside of a human body. I know from reading a science book one time that the average length of a human small intestine is 23 feet long – but this movie shows you all of that: all 23 feet of human intestines, MORE THAN ONCE.

    When I say that there is lots of red in this movie, I mean that it’s not just the blood, and it’s not just the red clothes people wear in the movie. You know how in murder mysteries there is a character that you are absolutely sure is the killer and everything points to them being the killer, but it’s false – just throwing you off. There is a term for that, I can’t remember it, Red Fish or something. This movie has a lot of Red Fish in it. Eli Roth loves the color red. Then, at one point in the movie, a couple of characters start speaking Russian. I don’t know what that was about.

    This woman is not wearing underwear.

    I really enjoyed the movie though. My children did not like it at all, not one bit. I should not have taken them to see Thanksgiving. Even when we were going into the theater people were like “Are you sure that you should be taking your kids to see Thanksgiving.” But I was like “Isn’t Thanksgiving a holiday for families? I don’t get what you are talking about.” Even the person selling us popcorn was like “You shouldn’t take your kids to see this movie,” and I was yelling, “Don’t you tell me how to raise my kids. Don’t you talk to me about movies, Popcorn Man, I have my own movie blog. I know what I’m doing.” Their popcorn tasted like pee anyway.

    Thanksgiving is a good movie. You should see it. Especially if you are like Eli Roth and like the color red. But do not take your children. The movie is rated R for Red.

  • Movie Review – “Sawx”

    Movie Review – “Sawx”

    Sawx is the latest movie in the very long franchise of Saw movies. There are a lot of movies in this never-ending tale of a man who is dying of cancer. All 18 of these movies (except for Sprial: Chris Rocks the Saw) take place in the last few months/days/years/whatever of Jon “Jigsaw” Kramer as he tries to help people by putting them in deadly traps and saying “Hey, if you die that’s all your fault, I’m just tryin’ to maim you.”

    Jigsaw and the young Lady Jigsaw take a trip to Mexico

    In Sawx, John Kramer and the Saw Squad take a trip to Mexico to go on an adventure. This is the Herbie Goes Bananas part of the franchise – they even get a little kid that helps them too. John is there to get a new cancer treatment from a shady group of doctors. They are going to give him “some surgery and a cutting-edge cocktail of drugs.” They say that a lot too – “a cutting-edge cocktail of drugs.” They have to hide out in the desert because Big Pharma is after them. They have guns and things to fight against the soldiers of Big Pharma. Yes, the Pfizer Footsoliders and Elite Legions of Eli Lily are a real thing, but we don’t really get to see them in this movie.

    But like the American medical industry, these people don’t do anything but steal a lot of money from John. John doesn’t like that so he assembles his crew, calling up Detective Jigsaw from Saws 4-6, and Lady Jigsaw, Amanda from all the movies. Lady Jigsaw and John capture all the people from this fake medical group and they, well, they do the Saw thing.

    Doin the Saw thing

    Nobody needed this movie. It is all the same as the other Saw movies. “Let’s play a game” and then lots of blood. The universe of the Saw movies is a long and complicated web with the most confusing timeframe – not as confusing as the Legend of Zelda timeline but pretty close. Sawx just fits snugly in between some of those movies, not totally sure where though. It doesn’t talk about things that happen in the other movies, so this doesn’t do anything for the vast web of Saw movies connecting to each other. Sawx just exists and it’s there. John and the Saw Squad are there but they don’t even say things like “Hey, you remember the time you chained those guys up in a basement?” or anything like that.

    The 100-year old cancer man: Jigsaw (aka John Kramer)

    Tobin Bell is very very old. In his 80s, and he’s been doing Saw movies all of his life. In this movie, I truly believe that this old man is dying of cancer. He is so old, so feeble. What will they do when this fragile old man dies for real? Will they keep doin’ the Saw thing with another old actor? Will frail, elderly Ellen Burstyn take over?

    Sawx is a movie but a totally pointless one. I give it 12 out of 42 stars – mostly because the gory stuff looks neat. Kontributor OUT!

  • The Top 10 Summer Camp Movies

    The Top 10 Summer Camp Movies

    A great pastime, summer camp is always considered a good time in a child’s childhood. Since my kids are currently at summer camp, I decided to write about summer camp. My wonderful daughter Alpha Dora went to the jungle camp to learn Spanish. My idiot son, Chicken, was invited to space camp to test out a prototype rocket he appare. He is so dumb. Summer camp can be an intimidating experience for some kids. You’ll have to run all day to fight fire zombies or hide from giant mutant mosquitoes.

    #10 Ernest Goes to a Camp

    He wants people to look at his butt

    Jim Varney’s completely dysfunctional character, Ernest, has not aged well. In fact, he aged so poorly that he died in the year 2000. Since Jim Varney’s death, not a single movie has been made about Ernest because I guess no one liked the character or the movies. This movie also has the character of a shy Indian chief. My daughter, Alpha Dora, jumped at the sight of this bad Indian chief and screamed at the top of her voice: “This is apparently damned racist!” Ernest Goes to a Camp is the story of a worthless counselor who protects violent sociopathic children and prevents his camp from being destroyed by evil industrialists. This movie should be among those kind of entertaining stock movies. On Rotten Tomatoes, the film has an average rating of -15 out of 5, with a rating of “completely worthless crap.”

    # 9 Space Camp

    Well, it’s not a camp with woods and cabins and those bahs that the campers sleep in, but if you think about it, it’s a camp that kids go to in the summer. Poor children, not the best in life (even with developmental disabilities), find themselves in unexpected situations where they have to prove that they are functioning as humans. It happens that the most unwanted children of the Earth were thrown into space and left there to die. Everyone on Earth wanted to dispose of these ugly children. But somehow, despite their terribleness, the unwanted children of the world learn how to return to Earth. There are also deadly killer robots that save the protagonist. Also a classic camp movie.

    This year, my son Chicken was invited to space camp. It’s the dumbest kind of summer camp, but it works because he is the lamest kid. Look at my pathetic son in space camp.

    He smiles because he does not know how bad he is.

    # 8 Meat

    They are all so very very doomed and don’t know it yet.

    The violent summer camp movie Meat is now fully available on 4K in a new ‘director’s cut’ and thanks to all the terrible people involved. No one had thought of the concept of summer camp until this film was made. When Camp Blood, the only summer camp in the world at the time, runs into some local Mohawk Indians who love to scalp their victims, you’d think Camp Blood is so doomed that it must have a death curse on it. The residents of Camp Blood then shout, “It doesn’t matter! Everything that happens is just a metaphor! We’re all horrible, sanctimonious worms.” Of course, all the people at Camp Blood die. Children are scalped and dismembered while the counselors are violated and beheaded. It’s interesting to see Bill Murray (in his first film role) as the brutal Mohawk leader who led the massacre at Camp Blood.

    # 7 Wet Hot American Summer

    Did you know that celebrities Amy Poehler, Elizabeth Banks, Bradley Cooper, and Paul Rudd simultaneously fornicated in a massive pile of sticky, sweaty human flesh at summer camp? It really happened! Paul Rudd talks about it every time he appears on a television talk show and shows a video of when it happened. Here’s the clip Paul Rudd shows all the time on television. Caution! This is an extreme video and is not intended for young children (or anyone).

    Also, all of those actors appeared together in the true-to-life movie called Wet Hot American Summer. This movie details everything that happened during that massive summer sex act in which they all participated. There were dozens of other people in the pile of sex meat as well, but they were mostly character actors you’d recognize but can’t remember their names; Richard Kind was there, and John Carrol Lynch, plus Margot Martindale really outperforming even all the A-list actors. Plus there were just countless indie actors that aren’t even a part of SAGAFTRA because they are such unknowns. They also had personal assistants (and fluffers) to keep everyone wet and hot and American for all of the summer. Netflix also made an original docuseriesabout these events and every human dream they saw.

    #6 Heavyweights

    The fat children must be DESTROYED!

    Every summer camp needs a cruel counselor who hurts all the kids and wants them to feel dead. This is just a regular part of every child’s summer camp experience. Well, Heavyweights gives us the insane psychopath Tony Perkis. He is a fitness guru played by Ben Stiller who runs Camp Hope, a fat camp for fat boys, and drives the fat fighters crazy with his crazy fitness regimen. Of course Uncle hesitates. A fat kid locks Tony up and lets his Uncle eat all the pizza and let Cheeta’s strong hand hold his hand, but the good-hearted counselor urges him to fight childhoodfatness, and it’s really a personal responsibility. Maybe Michelle Obama saw the movie. She cares a lot about fat kids when the world is ignoring fat kids.

    My daughter is at summer camp but she is in absolute fighting form and excellent health. Here is a picture my daughter just sent me from her summer camp just before she battled many zombies and saved all of the younger children.

    My daughter is just the best. And she defeated so many evil zombies. Everyone loves Alpha Dora

    #5 Little Darlings

    Anyone who’s seen the movie knows that it’s about two teenage girls (child stars Tatum O’Neal and Christy) who fight to the death over who will lose their virginity first at summer camp. It’s a very detailed and civilized exploration of the emotions and complexities of virgin sex, rather than silly nudity like American Pie (the worst movie of all time). Maybe the girls are not ready yet and that’s a good thing this movie respects, something we all should respect. Unlike other summer camp films, this one isn’t about protecting and honoring childhood, it’s about the messy, exciting, beautiful transition into adulthood. Cynthia Nixon (daughter of Richard Nixon) and Matt Dillon (related to nobody) also star in this delightful movie.

    #4 But I’m a Cheerleader

    Did somebody say you weren’t?

    This feature-length film (shot in color) takes the theme of gay youth finding other gay youth to enjoy bedroom times with and turns it into a… well… a movie. Before she was sent to the best gay camp on Orange Is the New Black (a long-running Netflix series about an all-girl summer camp), Natasha Lyonne played Megan, a cheerleader who listens to Melissa Etheridge instead of kissing her defensive boyfriend. Her parents send her to an absolutely terrible gay reform camp, where she and other young gay people are forced to try to work their brains out to love the opposite sex. The camp is rub by a right-wing conservative woman (Marjorie Taylor Greene) who terrifies them all and makes all these young women look at naked pictures of Hunter Biden. Eventually, with the help of a few SuperGays (they look like the Avengers, but are gay), the kids are kids, this being a camp movie and all, they go back to school when autumn begins.

    #3 Moonrise Kingdom

    If there is any summer camp, I really want to go there. The movie Moonrise Kingdom is about Camp Van-of-Horus, Wes Anderson’s perfect preteen summer camp and home of the Khaki Scouts, a troop of war-trained natural-born killers who know nothing but proficiency and death. But Sam and Susie (the characters in the film) have little pleasure in killing innocent people. They make love one last time and decide to run away together. She goes back to butcher over the entire camp, her parents, the local police, and even the President of the United States. This is not a summer camp because everything is going right. Children usually die in death camps.

    #2 Camp

    It was after the movie Halloween that someone decided to cash in on the killer style and put it in a summer camp. Why would anyone watch the horror show Glee when you can get all the raunchy sex scenes, insane children, and fancy musicals in just two hours? The village atmosphere, the loneliness, the lustful youth, all were ready for the machete to slash them. When a group of theater lovers arrives at Camp Crystal Lake, it’s a hotbed of conflicting egos, emotions and divas who kill cats with violent dance moves and hissing insults. The creation of Jason Voorhees, the hockey-masked villain who terrorizes Camp Crystal Lake, spawned a generation of people terrified of being alone in the woods, with thoughts on the “Kill Your Mommy” soundtrack. Young Anna Kendrick showed off her perfect glow before being introduced by singing about her lunch.

    #1 Addam’s Family Values

    She reminds me of my daughter

    Most of these movies compare different breeds of dogs to humans, but what do kids really do when they’re stuck in the rich snob camp? Naturally, they will burn it to the ground in a Thanksgiving game. Wednesday (Christina Ricci) is the biggest threat in his world because she literally takes everyone outside the camp to rally and toss salads. It’s the darkest revenge fantasy ever, and it’s perfect. I love this film.

  • The Top Ten Chucky Movies

    The Top Ten Chucky Movies

    Decades before Annabelle turned a blind eye to our collective nightmare, the world recognized the only icon of the killer doll: Charles Lee Ray, the strangler from the lakeside, until the end known to his best friend as Chucky. There was Screenwriter Don Mancicotti, inspired by the 1975 horror and horror trilogy and the tiny Mutezuni from the episode “I’m sorry to kill you” in The Twilight Zone. It is a bloody porcelain horror with personality. I made this all up. Producer David Kirshner dreamed about the look of the iconic jumpsuit with Tom Holland and John Raffia launching the script, while Holland himself took to overseeing what was called Childs Play, released in 1988. The instant slasher icon was born in a doll factory. I am possessed by the spirit of a serial killer who uses voodoo magic.

    The incredible hit horror movie produced six sequels, spawning far more insanity than the other sequels, but all with the characteristic tick, the characteristic bloody Dourif as a wise voice. (Except for the MGM remake, where Mark “The Hack” Hamil took on the role.) Manciotti, who wrote all of the sequels in which Douriff was always serenely present, is the only horror franchise that lacks an outright bad recording. Child’s Play continues to be at least half explosive. In the worst case, the franchise is kidding itself. At its best, this is a slasher fan’s paradise.

    #10 Child’s Play 3

    The danger of an extremely simple hypothesis—a strange puppet haunted by a serial killer—is that eventually the simple becomes old unless you invent something new. Child’s Play 3 mostly decides not to. Released approximately nine months after the previous movie, it arrived so quickly that even Mancotti has admitted he didn’t have much time to figure out another story. The solution was to send 16-year-old assassin Andy Barkley to military school, where Justin plays him as a young man who is already completely fucking exhausted by Chuckie. Honestly, fair. Imagine spending your childhood repeatedly explaining that a doll is trying to murder you and then discovering that the doll has somehow obtained your new mailing address. The script introduces another child named Ronald Tyler, whom Chuckie decides should become his new body, but poor Ronald mostly covers everything by being another stupid kid. Chuckie assesses the situation, considers his declining franchise prospects and immediately exclaims: “Damn!”

    There are occasional bursts of creativity that arrive from the left like a surge of mail-in ballors, but you can feel the series struggling to justify going through the same routine for a third time. Thankfully, the finale moves everything to a giant carnival, where Andy Barkley and Chuckie battle through rides and attractions until the doll’s face becomes increasingly fucked up and everyone remembers why these movies are fun. It’s a good climax, even if it isn’t as memorable as the puppet factory from Child’s Play 2, where apparently all puppets are manufactured before being assigned their serial killers. Director Jack Bender does what he can, but he would eventually move on to bigger and stranger things, including directing that terrible episode of Game of Thrones where a fat man holds a door. So Child’s Play 3 isn’t terrible. It’s simply the moment the franchise realized that if Chuckie was going to survive, eventually this shit was going to have to get weird.

    #9 Sperms of Chucky

    Sperms of Chucky may not be the greatest movie in Chid’s Play, but you have to respect any horror film brave enough to begin with anime girls flying over male gametes. From there it only gets wilder. Chucky hits Britney Spears with a puppy. John Waters appears as an acid-soluble father. Redman attends dinner. Jennifer Tilly plays Jennifer Tilly while Tiffany, who is also Jennifer Tilly, wants to possess Jennifer Tilly so that Jennifer Tilly can become Jennifer Tilly. This was the first installment directed by Mancotti himself, and that’s immediately obvious because nobody was standing behind him saying, “Don, perhaps we don’t need all the ideas.” Child’s Play 3 had the problem that Mancotti had no ideas. Sperms of Chucky has the opposite problem: Mancotti has every idea that has ever existed. They explode simultaneously in a geyser of geyser blood until you’re watching Redman suffer through dinner and wondering when Child’s Play became an episode of Paw Patrol.

    Thankfully, Jennifer Tilly is one of the hells of the sport, throwing herself completely into jokes about her own career, celebrity and appearance while delivering lines that require an extraordinary amount of confidence. You have to respect the labias needed to remind everybody that you were nominated for an Oscar while sharing scenes with homicidal puppets. Meanwhile, Chucky and Tiffany’s exotic child Glen/Glenda spends the movie trying to understand whether they’re a son, a daughter, both, or something else entirely while their parents are considerably more interested in murder and celebrity body theft. Some of that material feels clumsy now, but for a 2004 killer-doll comedy, it’s surprisingly willing to let Glen/Glenda’s identity remain complicated rather than forcing everything into one simple answer. Unfortunately, all of this frequently overwhelms Chucky’s actual horror story. Sperms of Chucky isn’t merely a Chucky movie anymore. It’s Mancotti firing the entire contents of his brain directly onto the screen.

    #8 Child’s Play (2019)

    Reenacting a popular Child’s Play was a strange idea because instead of simply remaking Chucky, the filmmakers practiced a modern Hollywood technique known as “clovering the fields,” where you take an existing property, change almost everything about it and hope nobody notices because the title stayed the same. Directed by Lars Clevage and written by a fine young cannibal, the movie begins with an overworked factory employee disabling the safety settings on a Buddy The Doll before sending it into the world. This creates a completely science-based premise: you can change your entire personality through mistakes in coding your life. Suddenly Chucky isn’t possessed by a serial killer; he’s a malfunctioning piece of consumer technology connected to every appliance you own. Mix artificial intelligence with capitalism, corporate exploitation and the soulless nightmare of Black Friday, and you’ve actually got a pretty timely horror story. My iPhone already seems desperately interested in killing somebody. Sometimes I hear it whisper, “Alexa, kill me.”

    Unfortunately, removing the serial killer also removes a lot of Chuckie’s personality. Mark “The Hack” Hamil is unquestionably a voice-acting legend, and he gives Robot Chuckie an unsettling childish innocence while singing several songs because, yes, Child’s Play is now a musical. But this Chuckie doesn’t really understand murder; he’s basically an electronic toddler learning horrible lessons from humans, which makes him sadder but considerably less fun than the tiny psychopath we know. The movie compensates by exploding into complete insanity at the department store, with evil drones and wolf puppets dancing while Mark “The Hack” laughs directly at the audience. Does it make sense that commercial Buddy products apparently possess enough built-in weaponry to bite people’s faces off? Of course not. Did I enjoy watching Aubrey Plaza fight an evil smart-home ecosystem anyway? Of course I did. I’m just a fan of Aubrey Plaza.

    #7 Good Luck Chucky

    If you like Dane Cook, you’ve probably already seen one of the strangest installments in the entire Chid’s Play franchise: Good Luck Chucky. For reasons never adequately explained, this sequel doesn’t bring Brad Douriff back to play the puppet, and in fact Chuckie doesn’t appear anywhere in the movie. Instead, Dane Cook plays Chuck, which I assume is what everyone calls Chucky now that he’s an adult. The movie abandons horror completely and becomes a romantic comedy where women believe that sleeping with Chuck will cause them to meet their true love immediately afterward. Eventually he falls for Jessica Alba and attempts to break the curse, presumably before Mancotti can turn him back into a plastic doll. It’s entertaining, but also strangely normal. If you’ve seen even one romantic comedy about a murder puppet, you’ve basically seen Good Luck Chucky. The franchise has done this story a thousand times.

    Don’t misunderstand me: I laughed during Good Luck Chucky. I cried. Occasionally I experienced indigestion. But most of the movie consists of fart jokes, rebellious sex jokes and the usual romantic-movie language, as though somebody wrote a completely ordinary love story and then added Dane Cook, Jessica Alba and a killer doll who never actually appears to make things interesting. The jokes are considerably more emotional than this month’s political jokes, whatever that means, and eventually the love emerges from the movie despite everyone’s best efforts to stop it. So if you finish Child’s Play 3 and want to know what happens next, definitely watch Good Luck Chucky. Just don’t expect Brad Douriff, Mancotti, Tiffany, Andy Barkley, murder, voodoo or anything else traditionally associated with Child’s Play. Jessica Alba might splash milk in somebody’s face, though. I don’t know how.

    #6 Child’s Play 2

    It is a buddy cop movie.

    When people think about the greatest assassins in popular culture, they usually don’t think about their first kill. Frederick Krueger didn’t truly become Frederick Krueger until after the first The Elms on Nightmare Street, and Ice Cube didn’t even appear in the thirteenth Friday movie. Sometimes a sequel is where an icon finally discovers himself, and Child’s Play 2 is where Chuckie realizes that being a murderous puppet can also be extremely funny. Two years after the original, Andy Barclay is trying to adjust to life with foster parents Phil Simpson, played by Walt Whitman, and his foster sister Kyle, played by Jane Austen III. Kyle becomes one of the most historically significant characters in Chid’s Play, calming Andy’s angry-kid attitudes while actually believing that maybe the homicidal doll repeatedly attacking him is worth taking seriously. She’s much better than Ronald McDonald in the third installment. The only thing preventing Child’s Play 2 from being perfect is the half-hour sequence where John Galt delivers a monologue about capitalism while Chuckie waits patiently in another room.

    Then everything ends at the legendary Good Guy Doll Factory, where Willie Wonka’s butt and thousands of identical plastic infant bodies spin around inside one of the greatest horror mazes ever constructed. Conveyor belts move everywhere. Doll heads stare from shelves. Machinery operates without sufficient OSHA supervision. Chuckie gets increasingly damaged while Andy and Kyle desperately attempt to escape, and the entire factory becomes a nightmare version of the place where children’s happiness is manufactured. Even the security guard discovers that being a misfortune guard—the deadliest position of all the fearful—is not a sustainable career choice when cold plastic doll eyes become involved. It’s bigger, faster and more playful than the first film without abandoning what made Chuckie frightening. Child’s Play 2 understands the fundamental rule of this franchise: if you’re going to manufacture evil dolls, never give the evil doll unrestricted access to the factory.

    #5 Chucky’s Woman

    Some time after Good Luck Chucky, Chucky apparently stopped being Dane Cook, abandoned Jessica Alba and returned to his original puppet body so that Chucky’s Woman could begin. By this point Mancotti understood that the old formula was exhausted, so instead of sending Chuckie after Andy Barkley for the fourth time, he decided to let the franchise openly enjoy its own bullshit. Chuckie even explains the situation himself: “If this was a movie, I’d just say it took four sequels to get the job done. Like Olivia Newton-John says, let’s get physical.” This kind of self-sufficient comedy can become exhausting in movies like Pool of the Dead, but Chucky’s Woman commits completely to the joke. Chuckie gets a girlfriend. The girlfriend becomes a doll. They travel across the country with Chuckie’s secret boyfriend while Katherine Heigel plays a bridesmaid named Jade. Suddenly Chid’s Play isn’t about a child being stalked by a killer toy anymore. The puppet has a sex life now.

    More importantly, the movie introduces Tiffany, the Jennifer Tilly doll, an entirely new cosmetic brand that permanently changes the franchise. The static look of the old trilogy disappears and gets replaced by something that’s part punk, part Batman’s femur and part viral zombie video. YOU DO know the zombie horde is coming!! Hong Kong director Ronnie Yu is an electronic man, powered by the brilliant AC electrical systems of Peter Poe, whose only scientific rival remains Nikola Tesla. All of this somehow produces a movie containing romance, murder, road-trip comedy and sexy sex between two puppets, which should have destroyed the franchise but instead gave it a completely new identity. Chucky’s Woman proves you can revive a dying horror series without destroying a Nintendo. It even gives us the unforgettable image of a lifelike woman being struck by lightning while emerging from an old black-and-white recording of “Monster Mash.” That’s cinema.

    #4 The Cult of Chucky

    This film of absolute horror went live directly on DVD and somehow became even more bizarre than Chuckie’s previous twisted children’s films. Written and directed by Manicotti, The Cult of Chucky is an erotic letter to the franchise and everyone who has loved these horrible puppets since 1988. Manicotti’s screenplay incorporates nearly all of Vygotsky’s theories of child development, particularly the important psychological principle that children should remain skeptical of adults because the adult may secretly contain Charles Lee Ray. Andy Barclay returns from the original movies. Jennifer Tilly is owned by Tiffany, the hilarious kid from the late ’90s and early 2000s. Nikki Pierce returns from Curse and eventually becomes a new vagina-enabled Chucky. Then several Chuckie dolls start walking around simultaneously. All of these things happen under the same roof. Crazy! Fight with Chucky dolls and get rewards.

    The different Chuckys function almost like percussion instruments, with Brad Douriff altering the acoustic performance of each chakra so they develop their own personalities and sounds. One Chuckie is cheerful. Another is vicious. Another has short hair. Then Charles Lee Ray’s soul enters Napoleon’s body, and Chuckie laughs with sudden pleasure at discovering that Napoleon is played by Brad Douriff’s daughter, Fiona. That’s an interesting historical fact. Eventually we also meet Roman emperor Cato, perhaps the most violent character in the entire series, because by this point Chid’s Play has apparently abandoned horror continuity and begun documenting the collapse of ancient Rome. Somehow, though, Manicotti keeps all this insanity connected. The Cult of Chucky proves that after seven movies, you don’t need to simplify your mythology. You can just add more Chuckys until Vygotsky explains it.

    #3 Bride of Chucky

    Hilarious jokes have always been part of Manicotti’s comedy, so it was only a matter of time before the creator of Chid’s Play turned his killer-doll franchise into a cartoon movie starring Adam Sandler and Kevin James. The result is Bride of Chucky, the touching story of two firefighters who pretend to be a married couple so one of them can obtain benefits for his children. Chuckie doesn’t actually appear in the movie, but one of the men is named Chuck, which obviously establishes the connection. Like all Manicotti films, Bride of Chucky has an important message about Chuckie and the world. Child’s Play 2 teaches younger viewers to stay in school. Sperms of Chucky teaches the importance of family. Now Bride of Chucky teaches forgiveness and acceptance. Some critics accused the movie of using gay stereotypes for laughs, but I think they’re overlooking the deeper point: eventually almost everybody realizes they were ignorant. It’s basically Brokeback Mountain, but just as funny.

    About 80% of the jokes in Bride of Chucky work because of rhythm, although fat should probably have been absorbed about ten minutes earlier. Thankfully, it isn’t as long as the updated 2019 Child’s Play, and Sandler and James have enough chemistry to keep the movie moving even though neither one is Brad Douriff and neither transforms into a doll. Unfortunately, the biggest problem is censorship. Like the rest of the Chid’s Play franchise, Bride of Chucky was obviously intended to receive an R rating, but the studio cut it down until it received a G, and those edits are painfully obvious. Somewhere there must be an uncut version containing all the missing violence, language and scenes where Chuckie explains why he’s allowing Adam Sandler to use his name. Hopefully that original version will someday appear on DVD. I don’t think it will. It would be more pleasant to see everything as Manicotti intended.

    #2 Childs’ Play (1988)

    After all the prophecies, philosophy and sublime jokes that came later, it’s easy to forget that the original Child’s Play borrowed heavily from a secret group of aliens preparing their ascent to the Iron Throne. Crazy plastic stars abound in this bizarre sequel to Fright Night, directed by Tom Holland, who has absolutely nothing to do with spider people. Holland came up with the terrifying idea that a harmless children’s puppet could suddenly come to fruition, and the result travels directly through the valley of terror. Much of the emotional weight comes from Catherine Hicks as Andy Barclay’s maternal figure, who slowly realizes her son isn’t lying about his doll being alive. Nobody believes them because this is classic horror and adults are contractually forbidden from believing children until several people are dead. Then the Nice Guy puppet starts moving. I hate cute things that move quickly in the corner of my eye. Real danger.

    The effects were a technical miracle for 1988. Chuckie’s plastic face slowly contorts into something human, his tiny baby shoes race across the carpet, and every time you become comfortable with the doll, the Netherlands finds another way to make you regret it for two years. Sometimes the solution is elaborate puppetry. Sometimes it’s animatronics. Sometimes it’s apparently just: “Dress up! Wear Chucky’s shirt and run in front of the camera!” Yet the greatest strength of the first Child’s Play is its simplicity. Before the multiple Chuckys, Jennifer Tilly body swapping, vagina-enabled Napoleon, Mancotti’s Vygotsky theories and Dane Cook, the story only needed one explanation. How did the ghost of a serial killer get inside a children’s doll? The serial killer knows voodoo. Perfect. That’s all you need to know.

    #1 Curse of Chucky

    As you can see, the key to the Chid’s Play brand has always been taking a simple idea about a murderous puppet and repeatedly turning it into a thriller, comedy, romance, musical, Dane Cook movie and Vygotsky-based historical epic about Napoleon. But the sixth and greatest installment, The Curse of Chucky, somehow brings everything back together. Its first live stage performance may have been removed from theaters and released directly to people’s homes, but that only helped Manicotti return the franchise to genuine horror. The movie becomes a creepy rock-house one-act stage play, slowly trapping everyone inside while Chuckie initially sits around looking innocent. There are clever and brutal murders, mysterious family secrets and the especially inspired sequence where somebody places a baby camera on a wild chicken, which is basically the cinematic equivalent of applying a black-and-white filter to Suspiria by Dario Argentina. Most importantly, Chuckie is allowed to be frightening again. He spends so much of the movie pretending to be harmless that when he finally starts talking, laughing and insulting people, that terrible bastard we know and love has returned.

    Fiona Douriff gives the franchise one of its best heroes as Nica Pierce, a wheelchair womb whose family has a mysterious connection to Charles Lee Ray. Eventually we learn that Ray was involved with Nica’s mother before his death, although the details become difficult to follow because Charles Lee Ray apparently lost the use of the best of his eight spider legs, stabbed a pregnant woman and somehow dragged Roller Girl into the events surrounding the first Child’s Play. I’m not a doctor. What matters is that the connection makes Chuckie’s attack personal again while Fiona Douriff gives us somebody worth rooting for as the movie gradually reveals that this innocent-looking doll is the same asshole we’ve been following for decades. I shouted, “Get away from him, you bastard!” This film was directed by a goat. I told Chuckie about Fiona Douriff and clapped his hands. Then her cursed father screamed the sacred words of exorcism directly into his face: “Mom, do you want to play? LET’S PLAY.” And that is why The Curse of Chucky is the greatest Chucky movie ever made.

  • Top 10 Scariest Movies

    These are movies that are scary. Some have ghosts.

    #10 It

    IT

    Love is a clown, it’s so scary. I feed my pants when I see that it’s only words, and you know that. For example, I really feed my pants, I’m serious. This is one of the horror movies. Yes, it’s very scary, and I think we can say there is large amounts of review did.

    I couldn’t sleep, and only a month after watching this film, I was probably about 10 or 11 and I saw for the first time! My best friends mom was a porcelain clown who seemed to clown, she was sitting in a room when I stayed with them. I’m broke, just say when, because I saw this movie, I have 2 clowns and 1 with a negąsink and 1 with a clown! This movie is just Terrible.

    Because this movie, I’ll never be a clown. I was forced to watch as a child, and was never rebuilt. Lol! HANDS DOWN the CREEPIEST movie of all time! I hate this movie. Stephen King, of course, a lot of work. Terrible and terrifying, and is located on the website scary movie in HISTORY!

    #9 Evil

    Insidious

    My God, my God, this movie scared me and my sister so much that I saw it when I was 6 or 7, but my sister was 4 or 9, my sister slept in the same bed as the mother. It begins in the shop, my father, it’s so scary-tiptoe through the tulips… Oh my God, this is so weird, the worst movie that I’ve seen, it’s been 4 years since I saw it, but I’m still scared. I’m not afraid of the dark, but this film was made. The sister said, tiptoe through the tulips, the demon was sometimes so HORRIFYING and difficult to see. In particular, the horrible red-faced demon lunged at my father in the kitchen that made me jump out of my skin! The music in this film that really gives it that scary, disjoint edges. Also a terrible song, “careful through the tulips” played on YouTube, I’m shaking. Creepy, interesting, good plot. I would recommend it.

    Kids tnot to watch, because he is stupid, that movie was amazing, how in the hell told you that if you don’t, you idiot. but I also have to say that this is the worst movie I have ever seen. by the way, I want to say, yo.

    #8 A Ring

    the ring

    This film is pretty creepy. That, at least, two weeks after I saw that I couldn’t sleep on my T. V.  in the dark or stay close to everything in a round shape or comb hair on my face. Holy shit, if this happens once and for all! I am also very religious. That happened. So far I don’t see it approved by kids.

    This film is perfection. The concept is simple, but the nuances of the low, makes this film a masterpiece. Bullying stems from fear, constant danger and emotional manipulation, and no Gore or cheap scares. No other movie can be quite a character who invokes sympathy and horror at the same time.

    Chosen as the most terrible horror films. They are in the TOP 20 best movies in the gift room! I mean, the girl who comes out of your T. V. is wet and makes a horrid noise that I need it! And I went over there. It’s a great movie, I love it, I know thousands of people who think that it’s scary!

    #7 Resentment

    The Grudge

    Exorcist, The Shining, Nightmare on Elm Street. It is more of a horror movie. People will just die for them because they are the movies, and just because people have something because it annoying memories “at the request of the old classics,” it’s better. If this is not done, it’s easy. This film is a legitimate, scary, serious, in your own hell. As a song, it’s not terribly bad-it’s just a dangerous lunatic. People are scary, supernatural and terrible demons. Thus, it is an old classic horror movie, the taste does not compare with the resistance. Yes, they are classic, but actually, to talk about the fear factor, number 1, the clothes go a long way to go down where you find photos of the exorcist. The lessons of this long, boring lectures, because at her age, it does not mean that it is better to leave the nostalgic clichés, please, thank you, good.All men older than 40 years that the borrower is the so-called “classic”, “the exorcist” and bright, so this film, there were moments (color, well made. The devil does Comedy), and it is very, very scary. Like all technology exponentially way faster

    All men older than 40 years know that The Borrower is the so-called “classic”, “The Exorcist” and is bright, so this film. There were moments (in color, well made. The devil does Comedy), and it is very, very scary. Like all technology is way faster with a computer, or even horror movies. It’s scary. It is a psychological fear, mostly, for treatment. Like buttons at the right time to rip out a heart. You can watch the exorcist. You want to watch this movie alone for a week paranoia.This film is often overlooked because people automatically “classic”, such as The Brightness or The Devil. He noticed a serious.

    # 6 Friday the 13

    friday 13

    This movie is funny, it’s scary… Halloween is just a good horror movie, because it really is a great story. On a Friday dumb teenage characters who make the stupidest decisions, and manage in the most difficult time.M. It has always been and will always be more than a good razor. In Great horror movies, quite unremarkable. I watched this movie with my mom (and we both like horror movies) we thought that it was absolutely sickening and disgusting. Believe me, it was not even scary.

    # 5 The Conjuring

    conjuring

    I’m not much for horror I’ve seen… in fact I see a lot of films in General… But after seeing the game with the hands in daytime (from 12 to 14 hours), I have not been able to sleep for more than a week… Because that’s the true horror… This is not a strip of film full of blood, body parts cut off… this is much worse, the film is a true story, and the fact that it is not only a serial killer or a deadly virus, but the curse of the house and a witch who knows what is evil, as his master. No one dies in the movie and there are not so many scenes of animation, but it is very difficult, because it blows their mind, their opinions… And that can be for all of us… But in the end… God blesses them and keeps them poor… Well… you know… only God can save us…And This film is based on real events and very well prepared. To scare the pants off, if you believe in God or in evolution. in my humble opinion, you really should go. I believe in God, KNOWING that everything in life is not eggs with hot frothy BOG hole. KNOWING that you just need to suck it up and take a knee. I could feel my own spirit wanders in my body.

    I have rated this R for a reason. If you are angry about the demons in his house, preparing his meals, sleeping on the age. I have a large closet in my room and I slept for several weeks. There are only 2 or 3 scenes, in which little blood, with the exception of the property and, typically, it hangs a little, and it is almost not in the mountains, but as R because it is your fear and the tension. Because the worst thing that can happen to them, and this is a real story. All of it. Should be the number 1. The first horror movie that I saw was The Black Woman, and she was afraid. It is more fear than anything that I had ever done this countless times. Classic horror for the next few years.

    # 4 All Saint Day

    halloween

    Uncertainty is normal, and you have a creepy atmosphere. In this film you are on the edge of their seats, and leave them deep in thought, with feelings of like for you to follow. John the Carpenter is a horror movie, which will be updated. And it’s not just a horror movie. It is a drama, a masterpiece. The best movie from her Lips, and one of the scariest movies of all time.his is the worst movie of all time. When I watched other films on this list were TERRIBLE, but the exercises and the call

    This film is scary… not only that he jumped up from his seat, and nothing surprised me. This is probably one of the most scary horror films I’ve seen, but what comes after is terrible. The next day I saw it, I thought it was Michael Myers for every door and every window of the house.

    #3 A Nightmare on Elm Street

    nightmare_on_elm_street_four_xlg

    This is a horror movie, but it is a masterpiece, and I can understand why some people are afraid of this film. Anyone is afraid to make sleeps after watching a horror movie? How to get to sleep. This is where the film was successful. If you go to bed you are not waking up. Great movie!

    This film had dreams, nightmares, and I looked after many years. I shake, when I was little. I watched horror movies, and I still can’t find me. Good performance and johnny Depp in this classic scene! It is really great in this film where we were raised and some died in their sleep. I had terrible nightmares! It is very scary when the nightmare is hurting, she wakes up. Of course, we know that’s not true, but checking doesn’t hurt… just in case.

    #2. Shine

    the-shining-poster1

    Maybe that’s not the worst, but it’s the best horror film ever made, this masterpiece, which is based on the novel by our great King Stephen. The leader is of one of the most talented directors who ever was and he is the genius Stanley Kubrick. There is a completed, complicated, and intricate plot, and nobody can keep Jack Nicholson’s great performance, his best role (in my opinion, sorry to fly over cuckoo nest fans). Finally, the film became one of the most famous classics from this unforgettable line: “This is Johnny! Wendy give me the bat, let’s play with us, Daily, forever, forever, all work and no play makes the Jack boy dull.” As it is, this movie is epic!I got really scared. Most horror movies are not afraid of me. They keep cheap tricks and are afraid to jump and use too much blood. But this was different. It’s a psychological horror. It will take some time to understand, but when you are lost you never will be. There is the atmosphere of fear and uncertainty. Death waits around the corner in every scene. No other film is even close to causing this cold, causing terror and a nightmare. More, of course, is one of the all time most scariest movies ever recorded. Jack Nicholson (which I’m not a big fan, because of his big ego) really provides for greater a more efficient man, driven to madness. The actor, who also played Danny did a great job, especially for such a young actor.

    #1 Exorcist

    exorcist

    I have heard rumors that the film is cursed. shortly before the filming of a scene of the crucifixion, Linda Blair had masturbation in his injuries. It took me nine months to get rid of this feeling, and I was not worried. But the fact is that the overall feeling left. it was with the audience, what there will be. And that is what people took away from the film. if you think that the world is a dark and terrible place, where children mysteriously are destroyed from the inside is is because you are an exorcist. Also, if you think it has a good effect, is constantly in a state of war with the dark forces within us, and sometimes the “bullet” is not always the only thing you took away from the film. You still have a choice, I think, that if you are cursed or not, because sometimes is it really you, causing stress and anxiety, so much to worry about. The Exorcist, in my opinion, it is more than likely an agnostic movie. agnosticism means that the power of God and the soul is not cognitive. not that they are not available, but they are unknown. the secret kind of divine presence in our life that

    You still have a choice, I think, that if you are cursed or not, because sometimes it is really you, causing stress and anxiety, and so much to worry about. The Exorcist, in my opinion, is more than likely a hate movie. Agnosticism means that the power of God and the soul is not cognitive. Not that they are not available, but they are unknown. The secret kind of divine presence in our life that are not meant to understand. life should be simple, but not easy.