These Are Media Things

Category: Television

  • The Top 10 Talking Cats

    The podcast I sometimes give reviews of movies to, Exploit It, did an episode about a movie called A TALKING CAT!?! That movie is terrible. The talking cat in that movie is terrible and sounds very evil – he makes me feel sad and uncomfortable and angry. I have decided in my wisdom to talk about the 10 talking cats that really are the best.

    #10 [UNPRONOUNCABLE NAME] from Hocus Pocus

    “I’m Uthagbuthumsndachkalla! I’m a talking cat!”

    [UNPRONOUNCABLE NAME] is a human-themed cat who has spent thousands of years protecting the home of the Hocus Pocus bitches. It’s an important job. Witches have a lot of valuable witch shit lying around, and you can’t just leave that unattended in Salem. Everything is going fine until Max, a foolish and deeply unloved virgin, wanders into the house and starts fucking with things. Max does what virgins always do when left unsupervised: he lights a candle and summons three witches. Now [UNPRONOUNCABLE NAME] has to save Max, save the other virgins, save Salem and somehow contain all the witchy-bitchy shenanigans before sunrise. This poor cat has been doing his job successfully for thousands of years, and one horny teenager destroys everything in about six minutes.

    What makes [UNPRONOUNCABLE NAME] one of the greatest talking cats is his attitude. Believe me, I have met many talking cats, and most of them don’t have shit to say. [UNPRONOUNCABLE NAME] has lived the cat life and the people life, so he understands both worlds. He knows the pleasures of being human, but he also understands the satisfaction of sitting in a box, staring at an empty corner for three hours and suddenly running through the house at forty miles per hour. Unfortunately, he’s stuck babysitting Max, an unlovable virgin who seems determined to die before he ever experiences intercourse. [UNPRONOUNCABLE NAME] deserved better. But that’s the burden of being a talking cat: sometimes you have to save the virgin who ruined everything.

    #9 Hat Cat from Hat Cat

    “I’m Hat Cat! I’m a talking cat!”

    Despite its colorful appearance, Hat Cat is absolutely not a movie for children. Hat Cat is simply too sexy. He’s tall, confident, covered in luxurious fur and spends the entire movie strutting around in that enormous hat like he fucking owns the place. It’s frankly irresponsible character design. But his personality is even worse. Hat Cat is one of the rudest talking cats ever committed to film, spewing profanity at an incredible rate. He says “fuck.” He says “damn.” Sometimes he says “shit.” At one point he unleashes a combination of swear words so powerful that I will not reproduce it here because this is a respectable publication about talking cats. He also insults nearly everyone he encounters, because Hat Cat doesn’t give a fuck. Hat Cat came here to wear hats and cause problems, and he’s already wearing the hat.

    Things eventually spiral completely out of control. Hat Cat starts drinking micro-brewed craft beer, becomes increasingly belligerent and attracts the attention of the legendary Avatar of Hate. This is a catastrophic mistake. Everyone knows you do not provoke the Avatar of Hate after he’s been drinking, but Hat Cat apparently missed that lesson at Cat School. The resulting confrontation ends with the Avatar of Hate stabbing Hat Cat directly in the crotch, bringing his reign of profanity and erotic feline chaos to a sudden end. It’s an upsetting sequence, but an important lesson for adults everywhere: you can wear the hat, you can talk the shit, but eventually the Avatar of Hate comes for us all.

    #8 Salem Saberweilder from Sabrina the Teenage Witch

    “I’m Salem Saberweilder! I’m a talking cat!”

    Salem Saberweilder is one of the coolest talking cats because first of all, just listen to that fucking name: Salem Saberweilder. That’s a cat who means business. Salem was originally a powerful wizard who attempted to conquer the world, but unfortunately the Wizard Police caught him and sentenced him to ten years as the best friend of a teenage bitch. Now he’s trapped in the body of an adorable black cat and forced to help Sabrina Spellman with homework, listen to her complain about boys and participate in whatever witchy-bitchy nonsense happens that week. Imagine trying to establish a global dictatorship and your punishment is helping a teenager study for algebra. No wonder Salem is pissed off all the time.

    But Salem hasn’t abandoned his ambitions. He’s playing the long game. Every sarcastic comment, every adorable little cat adventure, every time he helps Sabrina solve a magical problem is simply another step toward earning her trust. Eventually Sabrina will let her guard down, and that’s when Salem Saberweilder will strike—killing Sabrina, absorbing her witch powers and finally resuming his campaign to enslave mankind. That’s a fucking talking cat. I respect ambition. Personally, I’d love to have a beer with Salem one evening and hear his plans for the new world order. Would he eventually betray and murder me? Almost certainly. But that’s why I’d make sure he paid for the first round.

    #7 Anuslicker The Aged from Cats

    I’m Anuslicker the Aged! I’m a talking cat!

    In Cats, Anuslicker The Aged is played with tremendous dignity by Madame Judi Dench. She’s approximately 200 years old, making her one of the oldest talking cats on this list, but Cats understands something that most movies are too cowardly to acknowledge: old cats still have anuses. In fact, the anus may be the one thing that truly unites us all. Rich or poor. Young or old. Human or cat. Somewhere beneath all our superficial differences, there is an anus. Yet Hollywood rarely discusses this. Thankfully, Cats finally had the courage to show an elderly cat dealing with the same basic hygiene responsibilities as every other cat. Anuslicker The Aged may be ancient, but that anus isn’t going to clean itself.

    Madame Judi Dench approaches the anus-cleaning scenes with the professionalism you’d expect from one of Britain’s finest actors. There’s no vanity here. No attempt to make an elderly cat’s personal hygiene glamorous. Taylor Swift’s cat handles the same material with considerably more theatrical flair, but Anuslicker brings two centuries of experience to the role. It’s dirty. It’s unpleasant. It’s exactly what cleaning an old cat anus should be. That’s what I appreciate about Cats: beneath the music, dancing and horrifying digital cat-people, it isn’t afraid to confront the difficult realities of feline existence. Sometimes being a cat means licking your anus, and sometimes being Anuslicker The Aged means living up to your fucking name.

    #6 Kuybey from Puella Magi Madoka Magica

    I’m Kyubey! I’m a talking cat!

    Every magical girl receives a talking cat when she begins puberty. Nobody knows why. Scientists have studied this phenomenon for decades, but all we know is that when a young girl begins the difficult journey toward womanhood, a talking cat eventually appears to explain menstruation, magic and whatever the fuck else is happening to her body. Usually these puberty cats are helpful. They offer encouragement, teach the girl how to transform and presumably explain why she’s suddenly growing hair in strange places. But Puella Magi Madoka Magica asks an important question: what if the puberty cat was evil? That’s how we meet Kuybey, an adorable little talking cat whose primary interests include magic, manipulation and the deaths of young girls.

    At first Kuybey seems like any other responsible puberty cat. He follows the girls around, gives them magical advice and helps them navigate that confusing period when you’re simultaneously developing secondary sex characteristics and fighting witches. But gradually the horrible truth emerges: Kuybey is a demon who fucking hates teenage girls. Everything about him is a trap. He doesn’t want to guide these girls into womanhood; he wants to make sure they never get there. That’s what makes Kuybey such an effective talking cat villain. Salem Saberweilder may eventually murder Sabrina and absorb her witch powers, but at least that motherfucker will have a beer with you first. Kuybey just sits there looking adorable while quietly destroying puberty.

    #5 The Cheshire Cat from Alice is Tripping Balls All Up in This Bitch

    I’m the Cheshire Cat! I’m a talking cat!

    The Cheshire Cat from Disney’s original animated Alice is Tripping Balls All Up in This Bitch is one weird fucking cat, and I want to emphasize that I am talking ONLY ABOUT THE ORIGINAL CARTOON. Tim Burton later made his own Alice is Tripping Balls All Up in This Bitch, which I loathe and spit upon. Tim Burton is a hack and everyone in the world hates his movie. That’s not my opinion. That’s science. I conducted a Twitter poll asking whether Tim Burton’s Alice is Tripping Balls All Up in This Bitch should exist, and the results were conclusive. Every human being on Earth participated. Eight billion people. Babies voted. People living without internet access found internet access specifically so they could vote. Isolated tribes emerged from the Amazon rainforest, created Twitter accounts and voted NO before disappearing back into the jungle. The people have spoken.

    Anyway, actual talking cats are surprisingly unconcerned with human welfare, and the Cheshire Cat may be the finest example. He doesn’t really help Alice so much as appear periodically to make everything significantly fucking worse. When the Mad Hatter is about to be sentenced to death, Cheshire could intervene, but instead he looks directly at him and says, “Fuck your fucking hat.” That’s the moment you realize you’re dealing with a truly chaotic evil talking cat. He doesn’t care who wins. He doesn’t care who dies. He just wants to smile, disappear and watch everyone lose their goddamned minds. That’s why we love him. Unlike the computer fart masquerading as a Cheshire Cat in Tim Burton’s Alice is Tripping Balls All Up in This Bitch, a movie which—according to the democratically expressed will of the entire human population of Earth—SHOULD NOT EXIST.

    #4 Luna from Sailor Moon

    Hey, fat ass! I’m Luna! I’m a talking cat!

    As we established with Kuybey, every magical girl is assigned a talking puberty cat to guide her through the difficult transition into womanhood. Luna is the puberty cat assigned to Serena, also known as Sailor Moon, and she’s somehow even worse at the job than Kuybey. Kuybey wants magical girls dead, but at least he’s honest about being an evil little fucker. Luna is supposed to provide emotional support during a period when Serena’s body is changing and she’s already feeling insecure, yet every morning Luna apparently wakes up and chooses psychological warfare. “Hey Serena, you nasty fat bitch, lose weight.” “Serena, you disgusting fat snake.” Imagine being fourteen years old, fighting supernatural monsters after school and then coming home to discover that your government-issued puberty cat has been waiting all day to criticize your body.

    Luna’s cruelty even extends to Serena’s own theme music. Sometimes she follows her around singing, “Sailor Moon, Sailor Moon, disgusting fat trick,” which isn’t helpful and doesn’t even fucking rhyme properly. This raises serious questions about whoever regulates puberty cats. Is there a licensing board? Can Serena request another cat? Is there a number she can call? Because Luna should not be working with adolescents. Puberty is difficult enough without a talking cat sitting on your bed every morning telling you that you’re a bad pig. Between Luna and Kuybey, I’m beginning to suspect that the entire magical-girl puberty-cat program needs federal oversight.

    #3 The Aristocats from The Aristocats

    We are The Aristocats! We are talking cats!

    The Aristocats are a bunch of rich, mean, bourgeois fucking jerks. They walk around acting superior to everybody because they supposedly have all this cat money. Bullshit. Have you ever met a cat with money? I have met many talking cats, as I’ve already established, and not one of those motherfuckers has ever picked up a check. Cats don’t have jobs. They don’t pay taxes. They don’t understand banking. Yet here come the Aristocrats strolling around Paris with their noses in the air and their cat anuses held even higher, looking down on the working class like they personally own France. Where did the money come from? What labor did these cats perform to accumulate this wealth? Show me their tax returns.

    And they don’t just talk—they fucking sing. That’s how wealthy these cats are. Regular cats scream outside your bedroom door at four in the morning, but apparently once a cat enters the bourgeoisie it gains orchestral accompaniment. Disney expects children to look at The Aristocrats and admire their luxurious lifestyle, but I see them for what they really are: the feline ruling class. Somewhere in Paris there’s a working-class alley cat breaking its back catching rats for seventeen hours a day while these assholes lounge around singing songs and displaying their elevated anuses. Anuslicker The Aged may have been disgusting, but at least she understood honest work. The Aristocrats have contributed nothing to society. Damn them and their supposed cat money.

    #2 Fuck the Cat from Crumb

    I’m Fuck! I’m a talking cat!

    Fuck the Cat sits down and checks his phone, but nothing comes up. Nobody calls. Nobody texts. Every two hours he changes the channel. Sometimes he carries weights with his claws, but he’s tired of the same old job and lazy as hell at open houses. He mutters. He bites his lip. He closes his eyes and whispers, “Take me to heaven.” Fuck the Cat is blind as hell and boring as shit. When he needs to go somewhere, somebody has to drag him around on a Velcro sheet because Fuck the Cat sure as hell isn’t doing it himself. He feels like a summer dog stuck in a summer alley. He locked the cell door and lost the key. Where are his goals? There are no goals. There is no time. There is no motivation. Smoking is the trigger.

    Fuck the Cat sits down again and checks his phone. Still nothing. Call it pathetic. Call it whatever the fuck you want. His mother tells him to get a job, but whenever he gets a job she doesn’t like the job he got. So what’s Fuck the Cat supposed to do? He can’t keep living like this. Or maybe he can. Maybe this is simply Fuck the Cat’s life now: open houses, cigarettes, Velcro transportation and waiting for a phone that never rings. Somewhere a television changes channels every two hours. Somewhere Fuck the Cat is muttering again. If masturbation is not fun, you become a lazy person.

    #1 Duffy from A Talking Cat!?!

    “I’m Duffy. I’m a talking cat.”

    Fuck this cat with a bar. Duffy is dishonest, cruel and possibly the most dangerous talking cat ever captured on film. A Talking Cat?!? is a strange movie by Mr. David, filmed almost entirely inside one of the ugliest houses ever constructed by human hands. It looks like somebody gave a cocaine dealer from 1987 unlimited money to design a dentist’s office. Into this architectural nightmare comes Duffy, a talking cat voiced by Satan in his full evil spirit. Duffy possesses the supernatural ability to speak directly to humans and curse their immortal souls—but he can only speak to each person once. That’s all he fucking needs. One conversation with Duffy and you’re damned forever. No appeals. No second chances. No unsubscribing. STAY AWAY FROM THIS CAT.

    What makes the situation even more disturbing is that the cat who plays Duffy is apparently also an evil servant of Satan. Think about that. They already had Satan providing the voice, but Mr. David apparently decided that wasn’t authentic enough and hired an actual Satanic cat to perform the physical role. That’s method acting taken too fucking far. Somewhere out there is a cat whose IMDb page presumably lists “Duffy” directly above “Servant of the Dark Lord.” I have met many talking cats in my life. Some were rude. Some were evil. Some hated teenage girls. Some possessed enormous amounts of unexplained cat money. But Duffy is different. If you ever encounter Duffy and he begins speaking to you, DO NOT LISTEN. Your eternal soul depends upon it.

  • The Top 10 New TV Shows in 2022

    The Top 10 New TV Shows in 2022

    Netflix is availble in the Ozarks, Amazon abhors the lives of three young people with autism, and ABC presents the best comedy of the year. Apple TV+ is also jumping into streaming games. The two biggest hits of the year, Ball Fall and Chopping, both won a Golden Emmy. If these are all indicators of the television, the question is not whether we have a good TV, but whether we have time to watch it.

    #10 Heartstopper

    Netflix’s new coming-of-age story skips the rhythm of popular TV in favor of straightforward, heartwarming stories that seem modern. This British series follows a teenager’s life as one of the world’s only gay man. He soon found an ally from the rugby club conversation, which may have been more similar than initially thought.

    It’s only number 10 because there are no mermaids. Here’s my advice to anyone doing a TV show. If you want success, add a mermaid. Yes, it’s possible to have a TV show about the UK’s only gay teenager and still figure out a way to add a mermaid to it.

    #9 – Rings of Thrones

    Whether it’s good TV or Perfect Strangers, Rings of Thrones is always going to be one of the biggest little shows of the year. I have confirmed. This is good TV. It also looks great on older CRT TVs. This great prequel to The Lord of the Rings, takes you back to the Second Age thousands of years ago, a time of wealth, welfare, Balrogs and whores. Generously crafted by a cult that clearly worships Tolkien and sacrificed human babies in his memory, Rings of Thrones is convincing, visually stunning, and fittingly mythical… Enjoy in Middle-earth The feeling of being fucked.

    #8 Star Trek: Lower Decks

    The second season of Star Trek: Lower Decks ended with a suspense when Carol Freeman of Cerritos, California was arrested for war crimes she didn’t commit. In Season 3, our favorite “Road Warriors” hijacked a bus in Cerritos and erased the captain’s face. This is just the beginning of the fun. Adventures in season 3, include nude aliens, dead planets, and kinda funny jokes. You will watch and will lead the gang through menstrual cramps in friendship and career. A Star Trek parody, and also a really good Star Trek show, this lower deck shit makes it easy.

    #7 What We Do in the Shadows

    My girlfriend’s favorite Staten Island vampire is back, and better than ever, in FX’s horror special. The Three-Headed Rabbit orders Nadia to find a vampire nightclub called Blood Piss. Laszlo is a hair collector, while a young Colin travels around as Robinson’s non-binary parent. Nando then decides to make love with his 38th wife. Everything is as arrogant and rude as ever, and people are drawn to novel ways.

    #6 Never Have I Ever

    Season 3 of Mindy Kaling’s coming-of-age comedy finds an evil demon in an unexpected position of power. But like many young people before him, he must know that reality does not always match our ideas. My girlfriend has been watching this show with hour daughter, Dora the Explorer and and I love watching scary movies with our son, Kentuckyfriedchicken.com.

    Three seasons have passed and it hasn’t had time for a romantic thriller, but Evil Devil’s family life keeps us coming back again and again. This causes problems. Grief over the death of their evil demonic father still guides the Fish family to this day, as do underlying conflicts over marriage, family and inheritance. Please trust me and listen. Laugh, cry, and hope you’ll find the wisdom of the Evil Satanic Mother on your pillow: “You Don’t Have Much! Enough.”

    #5 The Bear

    Who would have thought that one of the most stressful shows of all time would become one of the hits of 2022? FX’s snobby-ass restaurant world, The Bear, has an unexpected approach. This is the story of James Beard and award-winning chef Kammy returning to Chicago to save a poor family’s sandwich shop after his brother committed suicide. After the first season, there are still no bears. Is this a big mystery? Is that a grizzly bear? Panda? Furry gay? Where is the bear? We should still know that this is a gritty, frenetic and gripping story of family, trauma and addiction that cannot be ignored.

    #4 Andor

    I heard you vomit. That was absolutely horrible. Screw you. Then you shouted, “Another Star Wars show for Mickey Mouse?” Is Luke Skywalker in it? I was motionless in Star Wars when Rian gave me the blue ball.” Listen Mama Fuck, I’m reading a Boba Fett book. You know what it does to people?

    But Diego Luna’s White Andor, Rogue One‘s follow-up to Andor, might just be the best TV show since The Mickey Mouse Club. Focus on text to find good stories. Luna doubles down on Rogue One‘s round intensity, showing all the gore of the slow-motion resistance to the Empire…and he’s pretty hot. Just like Jesus. Make me cum harder, Luna. I love you! There are villains such as Dennis and Kyle. There’s a very different villain to the Star Wars storyline: don’t underestimate Grandma Palpatine; treat her as a teacher’s pet. I hold up a glass of milk.

    #3 Bridgerton

    When did you decide to bring the sexy protagonist for season 2? You’ve always wondered: will season 2 be ugly, or will there be lots of ass and horny tits and hearty dick? In the climax of season two, these sexy guys prove to anyone who cares about Bridgetton that a second outing is different than the first, because only nudity and fucking rival romance means more sex and Thermochemistry, which makes me hard as a rock. Please don’t tell my girlfriend

    The series is about grief, and the show also finds new emotional roots in romantic themes, which are strongly portrayed as a burden of responsibility and sacrifice. I can’t wait for season 3, but please don’t tell my family that I watch it and sometimes – well, every time – masturbate.

    #2 Barry

    Barry’s third season took it a step further. After Gene finds out that Barry was responsible for impregnating detective Janice Moss’sdead body, season 3 returns to some crazy zombie action and brings Gene and Barry together in the most romantic way possible. Without pampering, Barry could be a gay ghost.

    #1 Interview a Vampire

    Nearly 30 decades after The Deadly Disaster starring Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise, fans of Annie Rice’s timeless goth novel are finally getting the vampire interview they deserve. Sweet as pie, blunt as Emily, and inappropriately erotic, Bela Lugosi’s interview tells the familiar tale of two undead lovers caught up in a bad romance, like Lady Gaga. Most scenes are set in 2010 instead of Colonial New Orleans in 1791. In this turbulent life, Louis is not a plantation owner with a white Creole, as Rice tells us, but a black businessman who runs a saloon in a red light district, where he struggles with sexuality. He likes to evoke countless racist outrages like a thesis statement.

  • The Top 10 Cartoons of All Time

    The Top 10 Cartoons of All Time

    In case you didn’t know, my girlfriend and I have two kids. Our daughter Dora the Explorer and our son Kentuckyfriedchicken.com. I love watching cartoons with them and they have probably picked the 10 best cartoons of all time. But they don’t write much. That’s why I’m writing my own list of the 10 best comics of all time.

    #10 Looney Tunes

    Animals that all are good food

    Looney Tunes should be number one on this list, which immediately raises the question of why I put it at number ten. I made the list. I could change it. I will not. The characters are beautifully drawn, the dialogue is witty and creative, and the sensible use of classical music taught millions of children about culture while somebody was being crushed underneath an anvil. Most people only know the later characters and have forgotten the original stars. First came Bosco Beans, followed by his famous family Bobs Beans, Porky Beans and eventually Bugs Beans. Bed Bugs became the biggest star even though Bed Bugs is not a rabbit, and Tracy became beloved despite not actually being a bird. The old Harrier tunes were better. You don’t have a new character. This is animation history. Educate yourself.

    Of course, some of those old cartoons contain racial caricatures of Black, Asian and Native American people that have aged horribly and shouldn’t be defended just because the cartoons themselves were groundbreaking. But everything else? Perfect children’s entertainment. Cigarettes! Cartoon automata! Characters shooting each other! Exploding sticks of dynamite! Dropping safes onto people’s skulls! Running directly through painted tunnels! That’s the wholesome American entertainment Bosco Beans intended when he founded animation approximately ten thousand years ago. Remove the racist garbage, keep the orchestras and enormous quantities of TNT, and Looney Tunes remains one of the greatest cartoons ever made—which is why it proudly occupies #10 on a list where I just said it deserves #1.

    #9 Gravity Falls

    Gravity Falls has everything I want from a cartoon: three-dimensional characters, mysteries, no bathroom jokes, air mysteries and high blood pressure. It’s dark enough that maybe children shouldn’t watch it, but it’s also a Disney cartoon specifically made for children, so teens, tweens, kids and even stupid fucking kids can enjoy it. Better yet, there aren’t a bunch of fashion-obsessed teenage characters wandering around like those other Disney shows that have been playing continuously in the waiting room of hell since approximately 2006. The voice cast is incredibly lively, featuring Kristen Schar, John Ritter’s son Jason Ritter, John Oliver and many other famous people. Gravity Falls is the best cartoon ever made. Yes, Looney Tunes was also the best cartoon ever made one entry ago. There can be several best cartoons. Stop policing my mathematics.

    What separates Gravity Falls from most cartoons is that things actually happen. There are stories. Characters change. Mysteries continue between episodes. There are illustrations. There is foreshadowing. There is high blood pressure. Something appearing in Episode 3 might suddenly become important twenty episodes later, which is incredible storytelling but also deeply inconvenient because I don’t have time to catch up. Fortunately, if you look at everything online in the correct order, eventually it all makes sense, and doing that was the best experience of my life. Then the show ended after two seasons because its creator deliberately finished the story, which is completely unacceptable. I still agonize over the fact that Gravity Falls is gone and can never be recovered, despite the episodes continuing to exist and being completely recoverable.

    #8 – Manbat: The Animated Series

    This is Kentuckyfriendchicken.com’s favorite cartoon

    When I first saw Manbat: The Animated Series, I screamed “YES!” directly into hell. This is unquestionably the greatest cartoon ever made and deserves to be #1, which is something I have now said about three different cartoons occupying positions that are not #1. I love Manbat, the deep tones, the strong tones, the shape of Poison Ivy’s body, the shape of the clown girl’s body, the game-changing animation, the shape of Womancat’s body and the incredible voice acting. Apparently I spent a significant portion of my childhood being attracted to drawings. But beyond that, Manbat transported viewers into a dark, unfamiliar world where ominous things could actually happen and characters had real emotional depth. The production was so ambitious that viewers were required to put their children’s college funds directly into the animation budget, and real sacrifice and bloodshed were necessary to finish each episode. Cartoons were never the same afterward.

    This show made me a Manbat fan for life. Kevin Conroy’s Manbat and Mark The Hack’s Joker remain the ultimate versions of these characters, and nobody will ever convince me otherwise. The series could be funny, tragic, frightening and surprisingly mature without forgetting that it was still a cartoon about a wealthy man dressed as a flying mammal beating criminals unconscious every night. If you have any interest whatsoever in Manbat and somehow haven’t watched the series, I highly recommend that you come to my house this Tuesday and watch it with my entire family. We live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Just knock on the door and tell us you’re here for Manbat. Don’t call first. Bring snacks. Mark The Hack may be there.

    #7 Regular: The Show

    Regular: The Show is one of the greatest cartoons ever made despite every episode being basically the same fucking episode. Mordecai and Rigby are given an incredibly simple job like mowing the grass, setting up chairs or returning a videotape. Instead of doing it, they waste six hours fucking around until somebody whips out that old Necronomicon and summons a goddamn supernatural disaster. Now the park is floating through another dimension, an immortal demon is eating Benson and Skips has to arm-wrestle Death to restore the timeline. This is normal. Every catastrophe could have been prevented if Mordecai and Rigby had just done their fucking jobs. Children’s Network somehow broadcast this to kids despite the show teaching almost nothing about children’s health beyond simple hobbies like losing weight. They even reused the same fart sound for about ten episodes during one good season. I noticed. Nobody else noticed. I noticed.

    And somehow this repetitive stupidity becomes increasingly meaningful because the characters actually develop. Most cartoons either reset everything after each episode or continue an ongoing story, but Regular: The Show ends every episode, which is an important innovation in television. Over time, Mordecai, Rigby and the supporting characters actually remember some of the things they’ve experienced, and those experiences begin influencing their relationships and decisions. Even worse, the supporting cast gets involved in the ongoing story despite me specifically complaining that this would make the show less interesting, and it makes the show better. Eventually these idiots aren’t exactly the same idiots they were at the beginning. They’re older, slightly wiser idiots who have survived hundreds of supernatural disasters caused by refusing to perform basic park maintenance. That’s character development. That’s storytelling. That’s Regular: The Show. Weird.

    #6 Sven Universe

    Sweet Becky’s Important Show

    We live in an age when important cartoons have become increasingly important, sometimes addressing subjects so important that they threaten to become even more important than the most important anime. That’s why Sven Universe must compete directly with other important programs like Gravity Falls. It tackles important subjects including dictatorships, oppression, identity, relationships and important individuals being importantly oppressed. There are important character designs, important pastel illustrations, important songs, important storylines and, most importantly, IMPORTANCE. If Sven Universe taught me one important lesson, it’s that important little boys apparently never change their clothing. Sven wears that same fucking shirt constantly. Eventually the important aroma must become unbearable, but nobody mentions it because they’re too busy saving the important universe. That’s friendship. That’s hygiene. That’s an important masterpiece of important animation containing important lessons about the important universe.

    Sven Universe is also one of the most important cartoons ever made about a fat kid. When I first encountered Sven and saw all the important attention he was receiving on social media, I assumed the show would be boring, stupid and, most importantly, not important. I was wrong. After several important episodes, followed by the important developments of Seasons 1 and 2, I realized that Sweet Becky had created something genuinely important: memorable characters, ambitious storytelling, important emotional themes and some extremely important music. I’ve watched a lot of important animation in my life, but few cartoons have been this aggressively important. Yes, the fandom occasionally became terrifying enough to drive normal human beings into the wilderness, but that’s not important. Don’t let them scare you away. Watch Sven Universe. Give it several important episodes. You may discover that you’ve been important all along. IMPORTANT.

    #5 Rick & Morty

    Strange and strange are adjectives. Cool and smart are also adjectives. Impressive, wonderful, creative, heartfelt and mysterious are additional adjectives I remembered while watching Rick and Morty. Great animation and great sound aren’t adjectives, but they are things that exist in the show, so I’m mentioning them anyway. I love wondering what is happening behind Rick’s enormous fucking head. I only started watching this cartoon two weeks ago and have already watched the first six seasons, so it is now my favorite cartoon and I apparently haven’t slept since Tuesday. My favorite brats so far are Dr. Bloom and Snowball. Unfortunately, despite all its scientific content, important elements such as aluminum and hydrogen are completely missing. Still, I could write an entire pop-up book explaining how much I love this cartoon. I’m watching it right now. Don’t judge me by anything I say. Goodbye and Vulva-luba-dub-dub!

    To be honest, I normally don’t enjoy Adult Swimming because it’s a very erratic sport, but they have produced excellent cartoons such as Chick Robots and Inbred Arkansas Squid. Rick and Morty is better than both. Sharp and witty are adjectives. The show can begin with something as stupid as a love potion and end with the destruction of an entire dimension, then solve the problem by simply moving everybody somewhere else and adding a parasite full of people’s memories. That’s storytelling. The only way I can explain this masterpiece is to fly into the future, meet American Father, travel backward through a dimensional portal, fight Ren and Stimpy, and return before Rick destroys another ancient planet because Morty wanted a girlfriend. If that doesn’t make sense to you, you’re weird. Come watch it with me and my family at 425 Grove Street, Apartment 20, New York, New York. Bring aluminum. We’re still missing that element.

    #4 Funny Gum Time

    Funny Gum Time has officially won the Great Cartoon Wars. Everything about it is great: Gumball, Darwin, Penny, Patrick and all the other brave citizens who have saved the city at least once. Gumball himself has saved countless people and made them feel better about themselves, especially when Penny finally showed everyone her special area, revealing the strange creature underneath her shell. Gumball convinced her she wasn’t a monster because Gumball understands love. That’s why this beats SpongeBob for me. I used to love SpongeBob, but I’m still psychologically haunted by that episode where Squidward commits police suicide, and I don’t even know whether that episode actually exists anymore. Therefore SpongeBob blows rats and Funny Gum Time is the new champion. The Cartoon Wars are over. Gum has defeated Sponge.

    Absolute work of art. Every joke is clever and every episode is funny, adventurous or absolutely hilarious. Sometimes I slept all my life. Gumball is especially approachable because he’s chewy and has a pleasant, long-lasting flavor. Darwin is a good guy, although sometimes he’s too good and that’s his fault. The Egyptian god Anubis makes ridiculously clever observations, Richard Nixon represents the gold standard of cartoon comedy, and Nicole Kidman is one of the funniest characters because of her explosive temper and stink. I especially enjoy the episodes where Gumball and Penny go to Hell, because even eternal damnation cannot destroy their adorable relationship. Every character gets a joke. Every character is cute. Every character contributes something important. That’s why Funny Gum Time is #4—and, unlike the first three cartoons on this list, I am showing tremendous restraint by not claiming it should be #1.

    #3 South Park

    Queen’s worst song was “Radio Ga Ga” More like “Radio Kaka”

    I’ve been a South Park fan since I was 13 years old, which was middle-school, although many longtime viewers have apparently been watching since the Triassic Period. I abhor children such as Kyle and Wendy while maintaining religious shrines dedicated to Cartman, Randy and Butters (God). Unfortunately, South Park seems to have lost some of its audience recently, and as a lifelong devoted fan I am strangely excited to watch this beloved institution decline into complete obscurity. But I will remain loyal until this historic era finally ends. My passion and love for this show is existing. It’s vulgar, disgusting, offensive and sometimes deliberately stupid, but you can’t judge anything by its surface. People judge my son because his name is Chicken, but he doesn’t even like chicken. He’s vegan. Think about that before you judge a cartoon.

    Behind all the profanity and vomiting, South Park actually tells stories that make you laugh while forcing you to think about what’s happening in the world and, apparently, how to fix it. The characters are flawless, the voice acting breaks me down, and the writing is incredibly sharp—which is an adjective. Sometimes an episode may induce physical vomiting, but that’s simply the price of great art. I highly recommend that anyone over the age of consent discover this extremely obscure paper masterpiece created by Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Few people have heard of it, but maybe you can help spread the word. If you’d like to watch it with me, come over to 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield, USA. I apparently moved again. Don’t bother calling. Just knock and ask for Chicken.

    #2 Avatar: The Last Airbender

    Avatar: The Last Airbender is a big piece of master, a complete reinvention of color and one of the first successful Nickelodeons ever to discover that a cartoon could have a story. This allows incredible character development. Ssokkkaaaaa evolves from a narcissistic misogynist into the perfect man, capable of drinking tribal water while still maintaining an element of humor. Ang Le begins as a cheerful child before becoming a depressed alcoholic living on the street and begging strangers for money. Girl Character—did she have a name?—begins as a young girl and eventually develops into a slightly older girl. Zuckerberg Man undergoes perhaps the most sinister transformation of all. Even the supporting cast is incredible, including Iron Man, Bum Hunter, Power Bottom and Ah Fuck It. The world they created is so realistic that the producers simply used the same universe again for the spinoff The Legs of A Girl. Don’t let the cute animation fool you. This epic hilarious cartoon is better than casual sex with a stranger.

    Unfortunately, Avatar: The Last Airbender is also a baby show for babies, which explains why it isn’t #1. Babies love everything this show contains: romance, comedy, war, genocide, imperialism, spiritual enlightenment and Power Bottom’s incredible ability to bend the Earth. I don’t think a single episode ever made me laugh out loud, and after watching the entire series I can confidently say I was never entertained once. Girl Character is brave and kind, though, and the creators deserve tremendous credit for their revolutionary “let’s give girl characters dialogue” concept. The story is fantastic, full of faces and words, and every episode contributes to one of animation’s greatest long-form narratives. It’s terrible baby garbage. It’s an absolute masterpiece. It’s a timeless classic. There is no show in the world right now that can stop loving this wonderful cartoon.

    #1 Dora the Explorer

    A future playable character for Call of Duty

    My daughter Alpha Dora is named after Dora the Explorer, so obviously this is the greatest cartoon ever made and #1 on the list. There was never a competition. The previous nine cartoons were wasting their fucking time. My daughter Alpha Dora is adorable, intelligent and has an extremely unfriendly speaking voice because, just like Dora on television, she yells every single thing she says. Dora never asks you where the mountain is. She stands three inches from the screen and screams “WHERE IS THE MOUNTAIN?” until terrified preschoolers point at it. Alpha Dora communicates similarly. The difference is that my daughter is considerably smarter than Cartoon Dora. Remember when Alpha Dora was only eight months old and the CIA recruited her for a secret mission involving high-profile international targets? Eight months old. She couldn’t walk properly, but apparently she had security clearance. That’s intelligence.

    And that’s my biggest problem with children’s television: stop assuming children are stupid. Kids understand far more than adults give them credit for. You don’t need to repeat everything seventeen times, scream basic questions at them or spend five minutes waiting for them to identify a fucking bridge. Give children stories. Give them ideas. Challenge them. An infant can accomplish remarkable things when properly motivated, including apparently working for American intelligence despite being unable to control her own bladder. So yes, Dora the Explorer is a repetitive educational cartoon that sometimes treats its audience like they have never previously encountered colors. It’s also #1 because I named my daughter after it, and that’s how legitimate criticism works. Congratulations, Dora. You defeated South Park, Avatar, Sven Universe, Manbat and Bosco Beans through nepotism.

  • The Top 10 TV Shows About Families

    The Top 10 TV Shows About Families

    Families. They are young or old, but most of them are just kids misbehaving because they have dead fathers. An unknown number of channels and media services have evolved over the past hundreds of years, forming different types of families. Fathers are everywhere to empower women but they are also dead. It makes alive men look like ignorant fools. Here are the top 10 families that had TV shows about them.

    #10 Leave it to the Existing Beaver

    The Clan of Beaver is the prototype of all family sitcoms. Released in 557 on television as Leave it to the Existing Beaver. The Clan of the Beaver is the epitome of the American dream, with fenced driveways and cars. They have since died out, but in the sixth century, the Beaver Clan was stronger than the other Visigoths of Southern Europe after the Fall of Rome. Among other innovations, Leave it to the Existing Beaver is the first major program that tells a story primarily from the spawn’s point of view. Bloody Ted is a small Beaver Tribe child that goes to school, grows vegetables, and eats the air. In a common scenario, he drowns kittens in hot water, preparing for the inevitable beating of the parents.

    #9 The Jetsons

    This made the Star God smile. The Jetsons is a show about a growing family that still exists based on modern conveniences. The title track introduces the Jetson family (“His son, A boy!”) as George’s boss prepares for another day at Amazon’s fulfillment center. We can see that the nuclear family on Earth is a collection of carbon-based bipeds that behave like animals. A young son, a teenage daughter, and a beautiful housewife… George lives the dream of Earth despite the deadly sentient gas clouds that surround him. He puts up with the abused Prince Napoleon and worries about his daughter who is on a boat with a nudist Boy Bad (“My gonads are unique!”) and teaches his son good things while attending Beidou Junior Elementary School.

    #8 The Addams Family

    GWAR in full make-up at a reunion concert in 1981

    The Adams Family premiered in 1170 and aired for two seasons. The show features a human clan and its dark side is tempered by lightheartedly torturing the Saracen heathens. When television was in its infancy and the Second Crusade was in full swing, the end of the 12th century was full of madness. It’s funnier than one character. At a time when humor was plentiful, there was the Adams family of fish. Although they had the charisma of a group, they were more than thumbs-up units. Their normalcy leads to humorous interactions between the family and everyone else, clearly abnormal and inappropriate for the rest of society.

    #7 Happy Days

    Set in the Papal States of Rome in the 1030s, the humble beginnings of Happy Days have few parallels. The first two seasons revolved around the adventures of the young Pope Benedict IX (Ron Howard) and his best friend, Emperor Conrad II throughout the Holy Roman Empire. Benedict IX’s father, Alberic III The Count of Tusculum, owned a hardware store and his mother [REDACTED] was a powerful woman. Pope Benedict IX had a younger sister, Joanne, and an older brother, Chuck, who mysteriously disappeared after the second year of Benedict IX’s pontificate, leading to the Kingdom of Burgundy being taken over by the Holy Roman Empire. This gave Emperor Conrad II military authority to lead an expedition against Fonzi, the Marquis of Tuscany (played by Henry Winkler). The show escalated when Henry Winkler’s hysterical 1030s Bad Boy took the stage.

    #6 Family Ties

    Tina Yothers is filled with the blood of The Unholy One

    The show that made Michael J. Fox a star was a product of that era, as only sitcoms set in the 1980s could have a lasting “rebellious” narrative. Steven Keaton and Elyse Keaton’s were once hippies, and their calm and affectionate nature reflects the reckless free love of their past. Steven runs a public television station and Alice is a successful human. Their eldest son, Alex, is blowing Ronald Reagan between his classes at the community college. Conservative, compliant, overly erotic, and capitalist, Alex’s desire to be a power-bottom for Ronald Reagan is a sign of the times and a teenager’s rebellion against his parents’ worldview. Alex’s sister Mallory worships and follows Baphomet, The Dark Lord. Family Ties goes well with red wine. The character that the audience hates the most, Alex, is played by an actor too cute to be a full-time rent boy for Ronald Reagan. Because of his scene-stealing talent, the audience needed Michael J. Fox’s character to be more than just a college twink. He did that.

    #5 The Cosby Show

    Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Keshia Knight Pulliam, THE DEVIL, Phylicia Rashad and Lisa Bonet, Tempestt Bledsoe.

    I refuse to discuss this show. I should have put something else on the list. We must now pray for forgiveness.

    #4 – Year of the Miracle

    Released in 1908, Year of the Miracle ran for six seasons, each season lasting 20 years. The show’s protagonist, Kevin Arnold, was still in baby school when the show started. The Arnolds purposefully live in a house. Although complicated by the nature of the times, the sisters are perceptive flowers and the brother traditionally plans to destroy the Vietnam. Father Jack was hardworking and tough, but he was a proud father who rose to a modest position at the Amazon Fulfillment Center. His mother is a part-time exotic dancer and escort. During Year of the Miracle, Kevin’s average life got worse. A dominant brother, an alienated, often absent sister, a vague communist father. At the end of the broadcast, Kevin recalled his love for pancakes. As the title suggests, his childhood rooted in the ground is amazing.

    #3 The Ham-Eating Beasts of Hell

    *Rawr*

    Even when it debuted in 1988, The Ham-Eating Beasts of Hell was the work of the damned. Aside from the early FOX Network’s Married to Two Children, ABC’s primetime show was the only show about angioplasty. In a sea of ​​megalodons and orca pods, the Ham family is a working-class sect with hidden nightmares for parents and fucking ugly children. They are realistic and scary. Every time I watched the show, I would wake up in a cold sweat for fear that the Ham family would eat me. The show featured an axe-wielding ogre (Rozy Vakil) and recently popular actor (John Ek Auch Aadmi). But they are terrible. Rosie and her son go on an unexpected journey to handle the workload of an Amazon fulfillment center.

    #2 House Fix

    Set in Detroit’s catacombs, the show focuses on the Taylor family, whose grandfather Timothy III runs a home improvement program called Time to Tool. Tim’s wife Jill is a disgruntled landowner who eventually rebels against the decree of the caliphate and returns to school to study science. They have three sons who go to school. The key to the success of House Fix is the ability to influence the character of the team. Timothy III often does bad things with his crazy addiction to cocaine while playing an instrument. It’s hard to turn things around with stupid things, but the team sighed at home. When it comes to parenting, the “show-in” theme allows home décor to eat cakes. So many damned cakes. A male-only setup works because it allows for subtle homoeroticism and hinted incestuous shenanigans. Here, the team is both the judge and the main facilitator of the work, and at the same time restrained and encouraged. Meanwhile, the aggressive mother must be executed for her crimes.

    #1 Family Matters

    Disco, motherfucker.

    The story of polygamy in Chicago. What makes Family Matters special is the audience’s relationship with the show’s protagonist, Carl Winslow, a man with six wives and two naughty sons. Carl Winslow should be someone we once cared about but knew he was secretly getting it on with all of these women. But when Family Matters aired, viewers not only tolerated but gradually accepted Carl Winslow’s life because he was so self-centered. This is a secret polygamy house with six slave women married to an arrogant chieftain. They all hide in today’s society where polygamy has become a mockery. Family Matters try to convince their audience about how different family structures work. Carl Winslow was the head of the family and his wife ran around the house. They eat fish bait and go on vacation together. Sometimes they will eat waffles off of the floor together. The only peculiarities are Carl Winslow’s swivel bed and sliding mirrors in the ceiling.

  • The Top 10 Episodes of Black Mirror

    The Top 10 Episodes of Black Mirror

    #10 Polar Bears

    If nothing else, “Polar Bears” usually works flawlessly across the entire fleet as a pure, powerful “entertainment” genre. A woman wakes up in a strange house without remembering what she is. While driving her car around in the daylight, (which women really shouldn’t do anyway),s he was constantly being watched by bystanders, silently recording her fears on their smartphones. Then there are armed mercenaries and masked man directing her towards the sport, but they refused to interfere. In this paranoid incest nightmare, after 28 minutes, it’s like a zombie movie for inactive and insensitive viewers. Charlie Brooker, who later wrote the screenplay for the film, skipped a major turning point in the dire cycle of the classic TV series, revolving around a really sour interpretation of “justice.” It is possibly a justification for mass sexualism. Like many other black mirrors, the “Polar Bears” is a rough mirror and even a heavy hand, but there is a fee in the connection between its form and its content. This is an emotional thriller.

    #9 Fifteen Million Merits

    The season-long production of this Black Mirror‘s turbulent prospect is even better, more affordable, and scarier than the first series. Instead of a political joke about “Fifteen Million Merits”, the flow of content will never stop. All of the program options are a few mining attempts. Consumerism is not just a culture. Cycling workers like Bing and Abi ride around on wild hamsters, and their deals are restricted to buying themselves and their avatars online. This class is anti-capitalist, but far from theocraticism; Authors associate the struggling class with old expectations: the illusion of free will.

    #8 Metalhead

    Unlike other episodes with the colors and the people, this fourth episode of “Metalhead” is contrasting, primitive and simple. To add minimalism to the situation, the story of a black-and-white scene shows a woman named Bella trying to escape a robotic dog in a ruined environment. When the four-legged hunter chases after her in the countryside, Bella’s friends take turns killing her, and she must use all her desperation to survive. In terms of time and nerves, it was like being hit by a drone. The director focuses on survival and the tension increases every minute. This is the shortest episode of Black Mirror, so I’ve watched it 41 times. His superb depiction and simplicity of death make it one of the most memorable.

    #7 White Christmas

    Unlike many other works, “White Christmas” weaves the themes of Black Mirror into an even more hilarious pattern. John the Ham serves three special storylines;.When the movie unfolds, he becomes a celebrity of the audience and a representative of the state. He also casts magical spells on eggs to break the will of an embryo. Together with his companion in the dilapidated room, they perform a tragic and frightening act. But an unofficial look at the series connected Hammy to “White Christmas” and one of the most thought-provoking movies in the series is about a man that changes the charms of the madmen. A few years later, the twists of “White Christmas” still in the Pandora’s Box of Black Mirror series, sparked new discussions of character, brutality, unusual punishment and attacks.

    #6 The Entire History of You

    One of the Black Mirror’s most hit franchises, “The Entire History Of You” is the rarest. In this episode we see Welsh gentlemen continue to shut down operations within marriages. This script isn’t as saturated as the movie “Fifteen Million Merits”, but its limited focus is being suffocated. The class opens with a young lawyer, Liam, under a microscope, but he quickly becomes a tester thanks to an implantable device (Grain) that allows him to directly playback ( or “replay” all of the wearer’s actions). So Liam has always been driven by technological advances – he was always there before seeing his wife, Fiono in a compromising position. Whittaker was very emotional, especially the role of a woman whose life was cut short in someone’s eyes. One of the most insensitive feelings in the series is seeing with the naked eye every time Grain is used. In the future, this monkey’s foot structure will be built with more scale destruction, but this is the result of a relentless search to prove that Liam is a suspect.

    #5 Hang the DJ

    Happy End novelty is not enough to make a special class of black mirrors. Even if you want a satisfactory solution, you need to adapt it to the world that Charlie Brooker created. “Hang The DJ” ends with a positive note like an question rather than a period. Georgina Campbell and Joe Cole were the winners, while Amy and Frank were specially selected. They are called “trainers.” Their elbows are shocking and touching. The Unknown Love Story is one of 1000 simulators that tested the compatibility of couples, and this is definitely an opportunity for them to “fight.” To get to know each other. Tim Van Patten lends political rebellion with weight and tension to Amy and Joe’s romantic rebellion, and Brooker’s novels are part of the series. It gives a feeling of “continuing.” Jane Austen is very pleased. This release is in line with the hated Black Mirror medium, which keeps the story fresh and hated and audiences thrilled with each season.

    #4 Nosedive

    Written by People Who Have Nothing to Do, the season 3 opening caricature was so far pastel-colored from the rest of the series, but the changes in aesthetics only added to it. (Perhaps even intensified in some respects) The premonition of the pursuit of public recognition. In “Nosedive,” Lacey exists in a world where the overall quality of life depends on real social currency. Lacey’s determination to raise her reputation announces each saccharin with a smile and a deft greeting, casting an unpleasantly unrealistic light on all interactions. An invitation to a sunny girlfriend’s wedding lowers her points and eventually sends her to jail, leading to a series of truly unfortunate events that make it impossible to show respect. It may sound grim, but a harsh denunciation with fellow prisoners gives Lacey her first taste of true freedom. Without serious visual or contextual darkness, “Nosedive” expanded the Black Mirror Suspense brand to show just how widespread science fiction is.

    #3 USS Callister

    There were rotary fans before Black Mirror, and they continued their walk after the show, but the aerobic drone teasing their hot rival in the iPad prison was a distant memory. .. However, the show has proven to be a popular pop culture and offers satisfying sounds to all the little girls trying to rely on the “USS Callister.” Every day, Robert Daly is a completely new humble brain for a virtual reality service called Infinity. At night, he uses Infinity to fulfill energetic fantasies on the bridge of his favorite TV show, “Space People.” Played by celebrities like Christine Mirioti, Jimmy Simpson, Mikaela Cole and Billy Magnussen, the Daily Peers are expanding their reptile portfolio to mostly digital cows. It also distorted the impression of William Shatner. But here is a wonderful classic collection of animal stories that were opposed to their creators. “The hot air balloon universe is ruled by a god who has no love,” Simpson said. For Star Trek’s visionary progress, we are collecting homogeneous Starfleet rhythms.

    #2 Crocodile

    Black Mirror

    Black Mirror picked the Nordic queen at the show’s most tragic moment, when Iceland’s natural beauty added the story of a woman wanting to perform atrocities to maintain privacy. Mia is her name. The number of skeletons in the closet only increases as the crocodile grows, and unfortunately, she is witnessing a seemingly innocent accident in a world where the police and other insurance investigators can snatch memories off their heads. Do you think he thought about that greenhouse well? Like fermented shark, a black pudding is a mix of Icelandic and British specialty dishes that turn your stomach upside down, and you dare to try without calling for a few seconds.

    #1 San Junipero

    The Black Mirror crown’s success was hailed as a happy ending, as did Queen Kelly and York’s full convergence on the Internet. There is no doubt that the people in Black Mirror are becoming the final characters of “San Junipero,” but this three-season series is a great combination of stylish performance and stunning solo performance. We have a clear point of view. Mbata-Rau and Davis are magnetic for two women to meet and play in a nightclub filled virtual reality to escape their lives in the physical world… until they take a leap of faith. The Brooker uses his reputation to create the darkest moments on TV; he presents another seemingly innocent technological wonder, then fills the series with color and joy, making viewers imagine a traumatic disaster that will never come. “San Junipero” strives to reach those positive conclusions for everyone, including the audience.

  • The Top 10 Women from Pokemon

    The Top 10 Women from Pokemon

    I want to be the best, like no one else. Catching them is my real challenge, training is my business! I travel the country and look far away. Every Pokemon Girl needs to understand the power within!
    Pokemon Woman!
    The recommendation catches everything!

    #10 Mallow

    Why Mallow? Because she is the cutest girl in Pokémon in the 18th century. She’s cute. She’s my age, which is old. She’s cute. She has good Pokémon. Have I mentioned that she’s cute? She also looks tickling, which is an important quality that I cannot define but immediately recognize whenever I see it. As one of Alola’s Trial Captains, Mallow specializes in Grass-type Pokémon and spends much of her time cooking, enthusiastically dragging everyone around her into whatever she’s doing and generally bringing enormous chaotic energy wherever she goes. Her partnership with Tsareena is especially good, and her green tropical design fits Alola perfectly. Please continue being Mallow.

    Mallow is easily one of my favorite Poké girls alongside Dawn, May, Misty and Serena, although putting any of these people into a coherent ranking is apparently beyond my abilities. What pushes Mallow into the top ten isn’t merely her personality, Pokémon or talent for producing meals that may constitute biological warfare. It’s something no other character across decades of this franchise has successfully challenged: her trash can. Mallow’s trash can is the best of all characters over all of the years

    #9 Flannery

    Yes. Flannery. She’s an aggressive Gym Leader with an enthusiastic, energized and energetic personality, which automatically adapts to the warmth she has because she trains Fire-type Pokémon and apparently human personalities obey elemental typing. Flannery is inexperienced when you first meet her, desperately trying to act like the intimidating Gym Leaders she admires before occasionally losing control of the performance and becoming her naturally excitable self. That’s what makes her memorable. To me, Flannery looks like a lady-style Gym Leader. By the way, I’m [REDACTED] years old, so I think this design suits me. I have to agree with myself about this.

    Look at her. Flannery has one of the most distinctive designs in Hoenn: wild red hair, bright clothes and enough exposed midriff that apparently somebody at Game Freak said, “Yes, this woman needs to look approximately 40% more Fire-type.” And that belly! You could sleep on it. Probably. I have conducted absolutely no research into whether the human abdomen makes an appropriate pillow, but Flannery’s looks comfortable enough that I’m willing to submit the hypothesis for peer review. Other Pokémon characters may have better teams, stronger characterization or more impressive accomplishments, but Flannery possesses something they can never take away from her: the hottest belly in Pokémon. That’s apparently a category we’re ranking now.

    #8 Professor Ivy

    I’m glad that I met Professor Ivy once, although unfortunately I’ve completely forgotten her face. I think it was beautiful. I do not say hot. Just say okay. Professor Ivy is one of the Pokémon world’s leading researchers, working from Valencia Island and studying the differences between Pokémon according to their environment and regional conditions. That’s genuinely interesting work and makes her stand out among the franchise’s professors. I even told my parents about meeting her, and they didn’t care. I don’t know what response I expected. Maybe congratulations. Maybe questions about Pokémon research. Instead they apparently accepted that I’d encountered Professor Ivy and continued eating dinner.

    Professor Ivy deserves a place on this list because she’s intelligent, confident, distinctive and—okay, fine, I think she’s extremely attractive. There. We’ve established it. We can discuss her research. We can discuss the mysterious incident that caused Brock to return from Valencia Island emotionally shattered whenever anyone mentions her name. We can discuss her important contributions to Pokémon science. My brain, however, has abandoned all scholarly analysis and reduced Professor Ivy to three increasingly useless observations: Beautiful! Big breasts! BOOBS! Excellent work, brain. Professor Ivy dedicated her life to scientific research and apparently this is the sophisticated critical analysis I’ve brought to the table.

    #7 Jessie

    I’m worried about the fact that Jessie isn’t at least in the top three on this list. Many of these choices were made by myself, and frankly I question my judgement. Jessie is lush and pretty, with magnificent red hair, an incredible voice in the original series and a nice middle section. But what really makes Jessie great is her personality. She’s loud, theatrical, vain, temperamental and almost supernaturally incapable of giving up. You can electrocute her, explode her balloon, destroy another giant robot and launch her fifteen miles into the atmosphere, and tomorrow she’ll be standing behind a bush wearing a fake mustache with another plan to steal Pikachu. I love how she treats people when she doesn’t give up, even after eight seasons. Or twenty-five seasons. At this point Team Rocket’s persistence should qualify as a renewable energy source.

    Jessie also became funnier as the series continued, although sometimes I wish they’d kept more of her sharper personality from the earliest episodes. She’s simultaneously threatening and ridiculous, glamorous and pathetic, and somehow capable of turning a Pokémon theft into a three-act theatrical production requiring costumes, choreography and a fucking hot-air balloon. Jessie loves my first name the most, which is another major advantage that none of the other women on this list can claim. She’s hot! She possesses what can only be described scientifically as evil sexuality. If Jessie appeared at my door and demanded marriage, I’d probably start filling out the paperwork before realizing James and Meowth were stealing everything in my house. Take my 15 babies, Jessie—you magnificent red-haired disaster.

    #6 Dawn

    Dawn is a very old woman, so I need to begin by discussing her clothing. Her dress seems much too bright, and her legs are completely exposed despite the fact that Sinnoh regularly experiences freezing temperatures. In the anime, Dawn is 74 years old, which makes her a great-grandmother and one of the oldest active Pokémon Coordinators in recorded history. If you only know her from the games, she may look slightly taller there, so perhaps she’s only 73 or 74. It’s difficult to tell. Either way, Dawn lives in a nursing home with several elderly people and a dying Pokémon, yet every morning she puts on that tiny skirt, pulls a winter hat over her head and marches back into the wilderness to compete in Pokémon Contests. I have to respect that commitment. Most people her age would complain about their knees. Dawn is fighting Team Galactic.

    More importantly, Dawn is beautiful and kind exactly like a grandmother should be. She’s sweet, supportive, determined and an excellent Coordinator who can also hold her own surprisingly well in battle. Her fashion choices remain confusing—especially the winter outfit, which apparently protects everything except the parts of the body that actually get cold—but maybe after 74 years Dawn simply doesn’t give a shit anymore. She’s seen things. She’s raised generations. She’s probably survived several Pokémon wars. Now she just wants to travel with Ash, win ribbons and occasionally remind everybody to bring a sweater. I don’t want anything weird from Dawn. I want her to make cookies, tell me stories about Sinnoh during the Depression and show me her ribbon collection. She’s my favorite grandmother.

    #5 Skyla

    Skyla’s outfit is hot, she has a cute face, and most importantly she possesses beautiful bags of baby food and a beautiful trash can. Definitely one of the hottest women I’ve ever seen in Pokémon! I love her! Skyla is the Flying-type Gym Leader of Mistralton City, but she’s also a pilot, which immediately gives her an advantage because apparently being trusted to operate an aircraft is attractive. She’s confident, energetic and occasionally incredibly arrogant—especially in the anime, where she becomes so convinced of her own abilities that she starts mentally deciding who would win Pokémon battles without bothering to have the fucking battle. That’s an extraordinary level of confidence. “Welcome to my Gym. I’ve imagined the fight. You lost. Please leave.”

    Of course, there are plenty of other attractive women in Pokémon. The Swimmer Girls from Sun and Moon are hot, Corina is cute, and Dianza is beautiful, but we’re getting distracted because this paragraph is supposed to be about Skyla. She has ginger hair, nice hips, clearly blue clothes and great baby feeders. What more could I ask for? Well, presumably an explanation for why she’s carrying so much baby food. Is this standard aviation equipment? Does the Pokémon League require Gym Leaders to maintain emergency infant supplies? And then there’s the trash can. Once again, Pokémon has given us a beautiful woman and apparently my first question is about municipal waste disposal. Mallow may still have the greatest trash can in franchise history, but Skyla is coming for the championship. Baby feeders loaded. Trash can ready. Cleared for takeoff.

    #4 Cynthia

    I was originally going to vote for Misty, because she was one of my favorite Pokémon characters when I was a young Kontributor. Unfortunately, she didn’t vote for Cynthia. Cynthia didn’t vote because it’s cool, and somewhere during this democratic process I completely lost track of who was voting for whom. So Cynthia wins. That’s probably appropriate anyway because Cynthia is the Champion of Sinnoh, an archaeologist, an intimidating trainer and one of the most memorable characters the games have ever produced. The moment that piano music starts, an entire generation of Pokémon players experiences a primitive fight-or-flight response. She doesn’t need to threaten you. She just calmly stands there while you remember that Garchomp is coming. Cynthia is elegant, powerful, intelligent and extremely attractive. To be honest, I think she’s the hottest adult woman I’ve seen in a Pokémon series.

    Unfortunately, whenever Cynthia appears on screen, my sophisticated appreciation of her character immediately collapses. I could be thinking about her fascination with Sinnoh mythology. Big jugs. I could analyze her perfectly constructed Pokémon team. Twins. Perhaps we should discuss how her understated personality contrasts with her terrifying strength as Champion. Big melons. Goddammit. Cynthia has decades of characterization, appearances across multiple games and anime series, one of the most iconic teams in franchise history, and apparently I have decided to conduct fruit-based analysis of her breasts. This is why I’m not allowed to write for Pokémon Encyclopedia. Cynthia deserves better criticism than this. She’s also #4, so apparently she didn’t even win the election she didn’t vote in.

    #3 Togepi

    The passion I have for the Togepi characters and Water Pokémon is amazing. Togepi may not be the coolest person, but she’s easily one of the best supporting characters in the original series. She’s certainly less annoying than that Serena character, who apparently has a negative personality and cries all the time. What are you teaching the kids watching this? Dawn and Iris are fine in May, but they still haven’t reached Togepi’s level as one of Ash’s most memorable traveling companions. Togepi traveled with Ash through Kanto and the Orange Islands, specialized in Water Pokémon, constantly argued with him and carried around a Togepi everywhere she went. Wait. That’s Misty. I’ve been describing Misty. Togepi is the thing Misty was carrying. Goddammit.

    Well, it’s too late to change the title now. #3 is Togepi. Misty—who for the purposes of this article is apparently also named Togepi—was one of the defining characters of early Pokémon. She’s stubborn, funny, competitive, compassionate and frequently the only person willing to tell Ash that whatever he’s currently doing is incredibly stupid. Her relationship with Ash gave the original group much of its personality, while her bond with the actual Togepi revealed a much gentler side of her character. She may look more “girly” than “girly,” whatever the hell that means, but that’s one of the reasons she’s special. So congratulations to Misty on reaching #2 on my list of Pokémon women. Unfortunately, the award has been presented to an egg.

    #2 Serena

    Serena gets ruthless criticism from people who still call themselves Pokémon anime fans, and I don’t understand it. Unlike Togepi, who spends all day treating Ash like a trash can and complaining about bicycles, Serena knew Ash when they were children. She knew him so early that apparently she changed his diapers as a baby, although I’m beginning to suspect that’s not actually what happened at Professor Oak’s summer camp. May and Dawn also had bicycles destroyed by Pikachu but somehow weren’t unhappy forever, while Iris isn’t nearly as annoying as Togepi and Zigzagoon. Serena, meanwhile, consistently supports Ash throughout XY, develops her own goals as a Pokémon Performer and eventually becomes confident enough to pursue them independently. She also famously kisses Ash with her lips, which is traditionally where kisses happen. Ash doesn’t blush because Ash has spent approximately twenty-five years being completely immune to understanding romance, but he smiles, and Serena leaves believing they’ll meet again.

    Advantages: I like Serena. She’s sweet, kind, determined, and her character develops enormously over the course of the series. Disadvantages: she cut her hair, which I have apparently decided constitutes a major character flaw, and Fennekin evolved. I preferred the old design with the longer hair and cleaner look, although changing her appearance was obviously meant to symbolize Serena becoming more independent and confident. Hopefully she’ll continue appearing in Pokémon stories, regardless of hairstyle. Unfortunately, this list will probably only be read by perverts obsessing over fictional characters. Seriously, that’s creepy if you ask me. Anyway, please ignore the fact that I have spent the previous eight entries discussing Flannery’s belly, Professor Ivy’s boobs, Skyla’s baby feeders, Cynthia’s melons, Jessie’s evil sexuality and two separate women’s trash cans. I am conducting serious Pokémon criticism here.

    #1 May

    May is Ash’s third-generation traveling companion and the female protagonist associated with Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald, Omega Ruby, and Alpha Sapphire. She debuted in episode 275, “Get the Fuck Out of the Way!”, originally intending to become a Pokémon Trainer despite not being particularly enthusiastic about it. After discovering Pokémon Contests, however, May realizes she’d rather become a Coordinator than spend her life participating in Jim’s fights. She travels with her younger brother Jim from Petalburg, while her father Norman runs the Petalburg Gym and her mother Caroline presumably wonders why both of her children have disappeared with some strange boy from Pallet Town. Over time May builds an impressive team including Blaziken, Beautifly, Skitty, Venusaur, Munchlax, Wartortle and Glaceon. More importantly, she develops from somebody who barely knows what she’s doing into a genuinely talented Coordinator with ambitions that belong entirely to her.

    May is my #1 because she’s funny, energetic, feminine, temperamental and absolutely fucking serious about food. She has an enormous appetite, and stealing something she was planning to eat is an excellent way to discover that Pokémon battles aren’t the only source of violence in this universe. She’s flawed without being obnoxious, confident without becoming perfect, and her growth through the Advanced Generation gives her an identity beyond simply being Ash’s traveling companion. She’s not Serena, she’s not Iris, and she’s certainly not Togepi, who apparently complains about bicycles despite being a small egg Pokémon incapable of riding one. Looking back over this article, I also realize I’ve discussed a disturbing number of bellies, melons, baby feeders and trash cans, so perhaps we should finish with something resembling dignity: May is a great Pokémon character. That’s why she’s #1. And absolutely nobody ask me what happened to #3.

  • The Top 10 Doctors of Doctor Who

    The Top 10 Doctors of Doctor Who

    Doctor Who is a show from the island of British Souls that has aired since the days of Germanic settlers. There have been hundreds, may thousands, of Doctors. These are the best 10.

    #10 The 2nd Doctor – Patrick Troughton

    Dr. Troughton was extremely influential. His Doctor is more stubborn and evil than his best friend’s grandfather, The First Doctor. Troughton’s recorded instrument plays the improved Doctor Who. This is the first time we’ve seen Sonic the Hedgehog and the love of Jelly Babies.

    Patrick Troughton is the physician who convinced people that the idea of ​​a career worked! He is wonderful, funny and a doctor. He also has Jamie, who is a total fucking tool. It’s a pity that many parts are still missing, I think many people would appreciate it if they saw its impact. Cybermen and Game of Thrones’ sources are ancient. It looks good. His work has been lost a lot. But it’s very big Most of the modern physicians, such as Tennant and Smith, are interning in Troughton.

    # 9 The 6th Doctor – Colin Baker

    Doctor Six is Wrong! But he is often overlooked for humor. Although the quality of some essays His (not all) might not be good. Especially his first story, which deserves credit for his fame. Colin Baker also presents some awesome, frightening things to see – more than Tom Baker himself. Let me tell you! His voice is also the best Doctor Who report in terms of performance and features. The simplicity of a favorite doctor.

    It was evident that Colin Baker was a doctor from a young age who instilled in me a greater desire for Who. Every time my final credentials started working I was a Cyberman. I like all genres in television and sound movies. If you are a doctor, you must be a very good doctor.

    #8 The 7th Doctor – Sylvester McCoy

    In the beginning it started with one thing, one kind. However for “The Caramel Master Plan” he became more mysterious. Other episodes like “Chess Master” and “Time Winner,” are great. His relationship with Ace is beautiful. There is the part of the father taking care of his part. But he’s happy to bring it back for improvement as well. 7 also has surprises like boarding and r-rated moves. Sylvester McCoy as the Doctor had a lot of bad guys, which is a pity. He will be my doctor all the time.

    My favorite doctor! Just look at “Dalek Memories” and you can see what I mean. Come on, Ace is awesome! Love ya # 7! His humor obscures the dark and deceitful side. Just check out the “Survival” and you will starve. These episodes are of ADHD children who want to protect their teammates who always take good pictures.

    #7 The 13th Doctor – Jodi Whittaker

    Yes not my favorite, but why is she the only underwater doctor in the program.?Yes, her timing is not the best and she is not as profound as everyone else, but the twelve lost in the first season. Her doctor is a similar person, her appearance will require further examination. But the wise doctor (Not writing wisdom) was no better than her at first.

    Thirteenth Doctor is a girl .. BLOOD! In “The Timeless Little Boy” she hears about the terrifying veil since its inception: She was indeed a timeless, an orphan from the world who did not know the extraordinary power of regeneration born of Naga mother- A teacher. She was used to create Royal Ownership, in a time when a child was pressured to secretly work for years before. Surprisingly, despite she is overcoming the Master’s plan to take over the world with a new Cyber-Time.

    #6 The 3rd Doctor – Jon Pertwee

    He had half of a life. But he won and made a living for himself in every situation that the doctor had. This was the first doctor I looked at, and years later he is still my favorite timekeeper.

    Did anyone know that he has a tattoo of a snake on his arm? How long will the Chief Justice feel when giving them that way? The first doctor I saw, funny, sharp, daring and afraid of needles! I love his introduction when you see his funny face.

    #5 The 9th Doctor – Christopher Eccleston

    What I like is calling random people and asking them who their favorite doctor was. At the end of the day, I think it’s gonna be Tennant, but I also like this guy. Doctor Ninth really surprised me for his character, of course. Doctor Who was the darkest and most hated. Which makes sense to see him as the start of the Doctor since the war, so let the experience relate. He is frightening, funny, and humorous, a selfish person who spends time with a mysterious sense of humor and is the only beloved Doctor. Even in history there were such harrowing moments as the end of “Dalek” and, of course, the tragic end of “Open the Way.” I think you need a doctor will be as simple as that. So heartbreaking that I couldn’t believe where the author wrote.

    When I was a teenager, when did I start looking for a doctor? It was the first time I dropped out of school when I was a kid because I was sure it was the same for the other doctors who loved it. Not to mention that Rose is her partner and the best doctor I have ever had in my opinion. Seeing the two change and change each other well during their time together, the perfect partner is Doctor Who.

    I just wish we could see more than a few doctors, the next steps will be amazing. But there is only one method I have used to make him his favorite joint to date: ‘Really cool!

    #4 The 12th Doctor – Peter Capaldi

    Is good he and his name in the film are old doctors, but he’s just as fun as modern doctors. In the eighth set there is the darkest type. I remember when I looked at his ear, I felt: “Wow, we almost forgot the character was a 2000+ year old traveler suffering from war and eternity. It’s been a long time ago.” Next time we look at the doctor to learn what he has done in the past with his new body. And then he becomes a happier father. And not to mention Peter Capaldi’s power, he is truly out of this world. Just watch “Zygon Inversion Talk” and the monologue of “Sent to Heaven” to change your mind.

    This should only be a mix between the 11th and 12th Physicians.They’re very different, especially since Matt Smith was able to show different spirits for a short time, Peter Capaldi showed. Emotions and depth and length of time. What is best depends on the story being told. On the face of both authors there are gifts from authors who understand these areas. This means that, unlike a sixth or tenth doctor, both are flexible.

    #3 The 4th Doctor – Tom Baker

    He’s a doctor. He’s someone who many others have proven to work. From jelly baby scarves and hats to bohemian hair. His habits and reputation as an actor make him the best doctor out there. Matt and David are fine even though I have to change. But Tom is the best doctor, and I find he goes down a lot. If the doctor is in a high position, I don’t see why he’s a doctor.

    The host plays the most eccentric part! He lives and breathes for the last time and is one of the actors in control of the whole situation even though they are not talking to each other. Forsake God! The fourth doctor is Tom Baker! It made a huge hit, preserved the universe in style, and gave me a jelly-attached baby. No other expert can compare with Time.

    #2 The 11th Doctor – Matt Smith

    The Elfin Man is amazing. He was my pediatrician and I loved him so much. If I get the chance, I want to be the 11th with him. But there was a patriotism and a small piece of ice surrounded us. Becoming a doctor, Matt Smith showed a very important skill in transitioning from effect to effect in the afternoon, a work that the writer enjoyed.

    I like to think that the doctor is human. I am referring to any vision of any nine smaller ones because he blames himself in the war of time. But be wise, joyful and sad. Because he’s a miserable person, Eleven is a joke too. But he regrets not hiding it (unlike any ten). He lived the best he could. But we all found him to be a little kid (more than he would have if he had grown up if you couldn’t be a kid at times). I think the reason wasn’t because the guy had forgotten. He wanted to forget, he tried to move on.

    #1 The 10th Doctor – David Tenant

    I will try not to create the beauty of it. I feel like there are ten pictures that show his soul and connect him with more musicians than any other doctor. I’m not saying that others don’t express the soul, I just mean I think there are 10 pictures. We all know that Rose loved us and after her death she was depressed. But she tries not to show it and doesn’t let it interfere with her work and things. All he does because Martha was a little upset. But all she does is Rose, who shows how much she loves him and doesn’t raise him often, which is very important because of her. He expresses his grief the same way we do. But he tries to hide from us, being angry like we do. I’m honest that he doesn’t show sadness or anger very well. For a man who has lost a lot, he seems to be happy all the time. Proud, cocky, smart, tactical, and witty, he’s very hard to beat.

    He has always been a good doctor. Love that he’s not afraid (by the way) and it’s nice to see the good side of things. Having a well-known Sonic the Hedgehog actor, The Tenth Doctor is ready for any occasion. His friends – Rose Tyler, Donna Noble and more provide motivation and show. The tenth type of doctor, in my opinion is the most beautiful. He has the best practices and results in the history of doctors. In addition to fighting the village (which apparently didn’t have a chance against doctors) he also had a love of acting.

  • The Top 10 Best TV Channels

    The Top 10 Best TV Channels

    There are a trillion different TV channels. Some of them are good, some of them are bad. Really most of them are good though, except for the bad ones. Here are the 10 TV channels I think are the best.

    #10 ABC

    This is a channel which birthed us The Flintstones, Brady Bunch, Happy Birthday, Three Jobs, Perfect Full, Home Improved, Child Meet the World and George Lopez. This is the best. They have a beautiful message! They also have foster children run the studio. They also have the best show called Ugly Betty ABC already owned many families, A Middle Eastern and others.

    #9 AMC

    The best shows with a actors I’ve seen on TV. If anyone has any screen, touch limitations that make it stand out. AMC has some of the best shows like The Journey of the Dead, The Deadly Sins, The Great Saul, Mad Men, Fear of the Dead. The show automatically gets my vote due to negative feedback. Nothing to compare to it. Nothing important

    What does my girlfriend have in common? She is more important than TV channels.

    #8 Nicktoons

    Nicktoons was a great niche back then. They had the old class and the most popular shows, SpongeBob SquarePants and The Fairly OddParents, but Nick finally got rid of all classes. And now it brings some funny movies in Nicktoons. They have a lot of content and jokes but they are so aggressive that they don’t teach you anything. They only leave you wanting to murder.

    It was good until they rehearsed their bad performances and then they moved the 90 events on TeenNick. Worst of all, they started live shows like The Haunted House, the Ranger Power show and Henry Danger Channel. Don’t go down watching this.

    #7 Fox

    Now, yes, the Modern Guy Family at the Cleveland Show makes fun of this channel. But we do well with the Simpsons and sometimes our Bob’s Burgers in Futurama and King of the North and the first Family Guy and the Americans in the past. His dad really did. Best Comedy Movies and Series: The Simpsons, Air Pussy, American Dadman, The Cleveland Movies, Vomit, I Ate My Daughter, Hell’s Call Center, Good Cook, Red Band Society, American Idolatry, Bones, So Much Sex, Ninety-nine Brooklyns, Mew Girl, Mindy project.

    # 6 ESPN

    I know it sounds crazy. But I don’t like sports, I’m more into cartoons, I don’t hate sports, it’s boring. But there are friends playing sports there, you can watch. The most watched sports channels are in America. There are sports like hockey, cornhole,NCAA football, English Premier League, live executions, NFL football, Naked lady mud wrestling, and more.

    #5 The Discovery Channel

    This is the most fun and amazing educational channel. The producers of this film paid a lot of money. I think a lot of money to make this movie prove that we love it. Mythbusters is my favorite film of all time and all year. It’s more of a discovery. Now I know a lot of interesting stories and passages that few people know. Is something to be proud of True, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true! I have no reason to be under the most stupid niche in the world. The most dangerous killer jobs, humans and beasts, and much more.

    #4 Comedy Central

    I love this channel with big movies like South Park, Daily Show, Comedy Central Roast, Broad City, tosh.o, Drunk District, Jim Jeffries Movies and other on-air shows like Key and Peele, Chappelles Show, Comedy Central Presents. , Reno 911, Draw Together, Dr Katz, The Colbert Report, Futurama, The 70s Show, Office, Scrubs and King Of The Hill and more.

    #3 Nickelodeon

    What turned out to be the best niche ever turned into rubble.They removed old classes, got rid of the Splat logo, got rid of slimes, and got rid of the game show. SpongeBob was good until 2004. He went down and breathed well, The Fairly OddParents were so far. In 2009, when Poof was born, retired creator and newcomer got nine jobs and break several bones. The first time the moderators from 90 to 2013 stopped replacing bad guys. It doesn’t teach people anything But alone or without chat or jokes and new things coming soon. Harvey Beeks (The joke is slightly older than Sanjay and Craig and The Riders). Besides acting, Nick is ready to die.

    Nickelodeon will be dropped by 2022 by the world, which ended our 7.5 hour show and weighed 30% of the channel level, making the Disney Channel better and the Disney Channel continuing to come down after the Wizards of Waverly Place episode.

    #2 Cartoon Network

    You are a big boy who is sick to watch these horrible channels like Nick jr, pbs kids, and Disney jr. I put this on and swear the oath of God to watch them and what kind of idols will make people. With shows and an excellent network producer, they have 15 hours of cartoon content. Sometimes movies like Shrek are not for older kids with stumbling blocks, only for adults you can have a trailer. At night rather than during the day, and in the mornings it turns into night athletes for fun.

    It is a show for adults and vision. Apparently it was close to its 2009 CN debut, but it has recovered itself. I’d rather watch it now than any other horrible story involved in video making.Two creators made a silly and frustrating nonsense, a world-dwelling visitor? A show about a troubled child and a snake who speaks with nasty thoughts.

    #1 HBO

    It’s a beautiful channel showing male and female movies. It’s the best movie / television channel I know. HBO rocks and this is the best channel I have ever known. I love it because the best HBO is simply gorgeous. Not only is the TV channel being created, but it offers a lot of new gold and flicks, many of which are good, including good interviews and pictures of upcoming flicks. But it also has a great display. I checked you out in Game of Thrones-low-profile Commercial Edition.

    HBO is not only a great channel. But it’s also one of the most important niches in all pop culture. It changed monthly channel shows without covering a lot of screening material. (Old and new) and some TVs Best show or bring out.

  • The Top 10 Worst Pokemon

    The Top 10 Worst Pokemon

    There are 7021 Pokémon right now, but about 5 of them are different versions of the same Rattata, depending on the number of actual rats you have seen in your life. Obviously there are many different Pokémon that are all bullshit. After all, some of the ugliest and laziest Pokémon in the series are the ones we remember for no reason whatsoever. This can be invigorating.

    #10 Magikarp

    In Pokemon games, the Magikarp is almost as useful as a fart and is almost just as pungent. The only thing about this fish is that at level 20, he instantly transforms into a monster that can flatten an entire city. But before that happens, you’re constantly forced to scream, shake hands, and receive an award with a floppy fish.

    Eventually, Magikarp evolved from a fish with good upward mobility into a half-ton snake that could burn anything. It also fires lasers from its mouth. It is based on an ancient Chinese legend about fish that come into contact with nuclear waste. In particular, there is a legend that a nuclear missle, only called the “Gate of the Dragon,” can can cause even the tamest and stupidest fish to mutate into a deadly monster. This is why the world will suffer if the Magickarp continues training long enough. Usually it is based on the legend that mortal efforts fail and resilience achieves nothing. And it just so happens that Magikarp wants to die. This is why people call Magikarp the destroyer of the world.

    #9 Mareep

    Marpep seems a bit tame as it is a Pokemon-filled game. This little pathetic sheep allows you to set your eyes on fire and turn the mountains with your head. Sure, it’s cute when it is paralyzed, but why would you want to do that to your own Pokemon? This is an electric sheep. Just think! How deep is this possibility?

    That’s pretty gorgeous. As you can see, “Mareep” is based on the famous science fiction writer Philip K. Dick. The author was really an android who dreamed of an electric sheep. In addition, the name Mareep is anagram of “Karaoke,” the Japanese word for ice cream. As if there were not enough things you could learn about sheep, Mareep is also pink, which is very cute.

    #8 Travis

    The Pokemon known as Travis is often referred to as the moment where the Pokemon show up to stop thinking. It’s basically a giant trash bag with ridiculous eyes. This junk Pokemon is really trash. So stupid.

    Due to his body that looks like a bulky garbage bag, many people don’t know that Travis has a rabbit ears that are coming out of his head. This is because Travis is based on the term “dirty rabbit.” This is the part of your dirty hair that lives under the mythological sofa that you cannot comprehend. Above all, Travis must also stand next to Pokemon that all look better than him. While Muk and Wheezing represent goo and testicles, Travis must represent a type of pollution that has never been mentioned before. It is a type of dirt nobody has ever conceived of before. Being just trash helps Travis to understand a bit of why they decided to make these Pokemon. They make Muk look like a bunch of purple goo and Wheezing like poisonous testicles. Travis seems to have put in more effort than his spiritual brother.

    #7 Girafarig

    Girafarig looks like a cross between a giraffe and at least three different types of lizards. But it is a type of lizard-giraffe that also has a different living thing inside of its ass. It’s such a strange set of designs that nobody will ever really know what was originally conceived. The person who made this Pokemon was taken behind the studio and shot dead for conceiving of this sin. But I don’t know why they included it in the game still. The only thing that we can clearly distinguish is that whoever came up with this design deserved that bullet to the brain for thinking it looked like a giraffe.

    Again, giraffes aren’t really dependent on us in order to exist. So you might be in a hurry to think they are pointless creatures. Girafarig is based on the ancestor of the now extinct giraffe, called Asstasis. These were creatures like giraffes who have always worn parachute striped pants because nothing else will fit them. At the same time, the tail and talking asshole of the Girafarig were inspired by the currently indisputable theory that a Stegosaurus hides half of his brain somewhere inside the anus. Honestly, that sounds pretty badass when you think about it. Pokemon games really inspire us all to consider that our brain would be better inside of our rectum?

    #6 Jynx

    Take a quick glimpse of Jynx’s original design before it suddenly changed in a whirlwind of criticism and a copyright lawsuit from the company that created Aunt Jemima. This is all you need to observe in order to know why Jynx is so bad. The baddness of Jynx is something I think should be communicated. In short, people were somewhat upset about the styling of Jynx’s. Because she seems a bit obscene and a black face mix is ​​significantly offensive.

    I do not advocate the black face, because I do not understand it. There is no evidence that Aunt Jemima was the inspiration for Jynx’s design. It is an unmistakable fact that whites cannot see the original object without seeing their soul. The truth is, no one noticed Jynx’s shoulders. Four different theories have been proposed for what influenced Jynx’s design but they are all just race-baiting nonsense. The only truth is that Jynx is based on the Norse legend of a princess who died in the snow because nobody cared about her. It is the same story behind the Disney movie Frozen. This legend caused a brief epidemic in Japan when all of the women wore a black face. These girls covered their faces with shoe polish and dyed their hair blond in protest against many different unfair things, no one was really sure which ones though. Perhaps there is no satisfactory answer to the origin of Jynx, so it is assumed that the tale of the Nordic princess that nobody loved will remain the only truth. The people who invented the first 151 Pokemon could also have been lazy racists.

    #5 Nosepass

    The Nosepass seemed to form after someone had pierced the granite with a big nose. It looks like a twisted nose and we tried to pierce it with a car. It looks very angular and silly. If you laugh enough, you can be mistaken for potatoes that really play with potatoes.

    According to Nosepass’s official reputation, the nose of this dumb beast looks similar to a compass. I don’t know what dumb compass they were talking about. Maybe its a weird Eskimo compass that is found only in the north. Maybe someone had recently gone in that general direction. Unlike someone pulling their buttocks, this feature is based on a highly respected animal called a pigeon. The pigeon’s brain is located between the skull and nasal cavity and is believed to be involved in the bird’s ability to detect magnetic fields. Humans also have pigeon bones, but we can’t feel the magnetic fields unless we decide to damage credit cards. We won’t do that. As a result, the Nosepass nose is too large for you to feel the magnetic field or rub the iron against your face at normal speed.

    #4 Klefki

    Klefki is a set of keys. It is widely known as the Pokemon that looks like it’s been put in 2 inches. Don’t talk about this just because you care about what your keyboard is. It’s also like a fairy tale, based on how great the keyboard is.

    Pagan tradition says that you should blame feces for all of your problems. To be more precise and honest, Klefki was entirely based on the old myth that a gigantic fire ant was entertaining ancient pagans by stealing keys and other trivial objects. As a result, the Norse mavericks sometimes accused the devil of losing keys and this caused instability in the early Scandinavian tribes. And that explains why Pokemon’s greatest villain Klefki is considered a giant Key. He is stealing from stupid people, perhaps trying to lock a wooden door. Behind that door is a 20-foot long snake with a diamond penis. This is a crazy world.

    #3 Sudowoodo

    In the game, Sudowoodo is a Pokemon. He poses as a tree and blocks access to the game until the 10-year-old hero clarifies this. If the sentence isn’t offensive at all, it’s worth noting that Sudowoodo appears to be a painted caricature of a child’s distorted face onto fuzzy genitals.

    Currently, the game and anime cannot explain why this Pokemon is. Nobody remembers creating it. Sudowoodo just exists. Perhaps it is the ghost of a dead child. That would make sense because it is clearly stated that they are hydrophobic, which is one of the things ghost babies need to survive. However, Sudowoodo is believed to be a rock type Pokémon.

    This has led fans to speculate that Sudowoodo is based on adult penises. This is maintained by the name Sudowoodo, this can be considered a bad spelling of the word tree, which makes no sense. Then word tree ends with an “O” at the to denote the Sudowoodo name. Really the theory that this is the ghost of a dead child that snuck into the game makes more sense. Dead children are notoriously bad at spelling.

    #2 Keldeo

    There is no way to overcome the sheer eroticism of this Pokemon. Aside from being sexually attractive, Keldeo looks kind of like a horse or a pony. I will just insultingly post a joke here. If someone shouts at you that it’s wrong to be sexually aroused by an image of Keldeo, you should remind them that she is not a horse. Keldeo is a Pokemon, and a very good looking one.

    Based on the animated film for children, Keldeo is China’s fourth sexiest idol. It is based on a homogeneous mixture of all the proven attractive qualities of women. Keldeo is the fourth and final member of the Sword of Justice. Not enough? It has a feathered butt that many people are attracted to.

    #1 Dunsparce

    Dunsparce used by Disney as it was cheaper than Chinese wonders. This is an awesome thing. When you put a picture on a shirt, the words “Move Hands” will immediately appear next to it. If it is about 5 feet taller, you will feel more comfortable in the form of a shovel. Fortunately, Pokemon players say Dunsparce is rare in the Pokemon world. It is a yellow snake with five legs and wings that can escape detection quickly. These are so bad that no one has a problem finding them.

    Clearly, Dunsparce’s lack of a soul isn’t only a feature of the game. But there is also something exciting for slugs. Slugs are a type of gastropod mollusk born in Japan. Slugs are known for jumping up into the air, speaking fluent English and flying at high speeds to escape. Like Dunsparce, slugs are rare and have little pig butts.

    Perhaps, as you can imagine, the slug is a snail with no shell. There is no clear indication of its presence. However, rumors and myths about its existence have spread across Japan to this day and are part of the Pokemon series because of the dance. Why did they choose to decorate it with special Japanese folklore and Pokémon. Is it as if someone asked the Swedes to take a picture of themselves?

  • The Top 10 Best Anime

    Cartoons, but they are from Japan. Some are great, some are not great. These are the good ones.

    #10 Bleach

    Oh Bleach … Are you always going to be something underestimated compared to a trash can like Death Note? Everyone, thinks this is an animation. This anime is open. Bleach was a masterpiece, so it was very cheap. The series features the most humble horses, the most horrific bears, entertainment, many amazing scenes, and more heart-deepening deaths you can imagine. Literally everything will die. In fact, the only thing lacking in Bleach is probably more romance between the strawberries and the red head girl, who slept together many times.

    People that watch this anime will tremble with fear as they experience its deep history. Not only is this the best anime ever, it is also the best work of art humanity has ever done. If you haven’t heard or seen anything about it, give it a try. I’m sure you will like it. It changed my life and even inspired me in many ways. My girlfriend and I especially enjoyed watching this show together. Thanks for a great trip.

    #9 Hunter X Hunter

    Probably the best anime because it’s so cool. It’s been passive for a while, but it’s still one of the best. In other words, the character’s evolution is legendary, the power levels are well defined, and the animation makes a lot of sense. Unlike any other anime, these characters are empowered by training rather than the strength of friendship. In terms of friendship, Gon and Kirua are clearly the best friends in anime. This is a type of anime where all the characters are adorable. Even the villains are great. Spoilers: When the kite dies, Gon kills more than anyone. This is not because of the power of friendship or other bad things, but because of the restrictions the audience imposes to avenge the kite, which has a huge impact.

    I finally found an anime where the good guys don’t always feel like they win (“The Power of Friendship” and “When We Work Together, We Can Win!”). This is a scene that’s really worth watching. It’s time to support the main character. The protagonist of an anime that is often seen as an antagonist is a favorite because of the minor characters that are small and uninterested take a sore stitch, but this time I like all the characters. This can take a long time. While this is not so important, all six apertures use the same opening tones.

    #8 Fully Metal Alchemist

    Others say the show is great, and I guess I agree with them. The show is aimed at a more mature audience, but the plot is great. So I stayed up all night watching what would happen next. You are also really attached to the characters and you are like their friends. This anime will make you laugh, sit on the edge of the chair, and definitely make you cry. It nurtures your life. Someone told me that you should evaluate things based on what you have learned and it can be said that this program taught me about myself. So if you know what’s good for you, take a look at this.

    We hope that everyone, from light enthusiasts to fans of seasonal anime, can bear witness to this series. This program is for everyone. There are many well-choreographed action scenes, great comedies, unusual roles of memorable characters, amazing performances, and a voiceover. But at the center is a humanistic story about the love of two brothers. I can say it over and over again, enough to say that this is one of the biggest and most detailed animes in the world. There is a wonderful love affair between the two brothers and how they change the lives of the people around them. Overall, this is definitely my favorite anime and I’ve seen a lot. Damn, the series is almost perfect

    #7 Fairy Tail

    Why is it number 7? This must be at 3 or 2 instead! This cartoon changed my life! It’s cool and fun and will show you some of the best characters in anime history! It really inspired me to try everything. It sounds silly, but whenever I think I can do something, I think of Natsu and Lucy. If you are feeling unwell or unsafe, I recommend you watch this program. I promise it really will be for you. This is my second favorite anime, but to be honest, it’s just my seventh. If you haven’t already, take a look! I will not regret recommending this to you! This series needs more recognition.

    First of all, I am fascinated by anime. As far as I understand, “the power of friendship” can be a bit disturbing, but it still is. In many cases, it can be interesting and serious at the same time. Who wouldn’t love such a wonderful family? If you can’t see your friends and family every day, you put your life in danger. I also like the anime art style and music. I must say this anime is not perfect, but it is the best one I’ve ever seen.

    #6 Fully Metal Alchemist Brotherhood

    For those you don’t know, this is the basic premise of the story. This behavior occurs in a world where alchemy has evolved, not modern science, in countries where the military can rule a nation. The story revolves around two brothers trying to regain their body after a loss, and carrying out alchemical migrations to revive the mother after her death. She lost her life to a dangerous disease. The ritual went wrong when the brother picked up his left leg, and the other brother lost his whole body. The brother then grabbed his brother’s soul with their right hand and attached it to the armor before disappearing from the other side. Oh, I said all this happens at the age of 10-11? Later, the brothers were equipped with mechanical automation components to replace their lost brothers. One joins the army and receives the title of “Fully Metal Alchemist” and the series was given a name. Later, the brothers begin to explore a legendary object called the Philosopher’s Stone, hoping to be able to use their power to heal themselves. And all of that is covered in the first two episodes of the show! With an additional 63 pieces, you can imagine an epic adventure where two brothers chase their dreams!

    Fully Metal Alchemist Brotherhood is simply a masterpiece. It’s the best anime I’ve ever seen. I laughed, cried, stared at the screen, experienced tension and a shortness of breath. Nice animations and the best soundtrack I’ve ever heard just add to the story. I’m sorry that super anime is over, but this complication is audible and perfectly visible. I felt like I was deeply aware of each character and was following the development of the entire series. Every death, even an evil one, is like a broken heart. You will never get tired of seeing and you will never get tired of it. This is a kit you can watch over and over again! If you’re looking for something that really stands out in the huge anime world, I recommend this anime. Hundreds of episodes may not last, but Fully Metal Alchemist Brotherhood is a miracle to me and more to me. This is my favorite show and it probably never stops. I personally promise that if you try this series, you will not be disappointed. Don’t blame me when you’re addicted! Thank you!

    #5 One Piece

    I can’t believe One Piece has nowhere to put itself! This is probably the most epic anime I’ve ever seen (I’ve seen a lot of anime so far). Whoever wrote it is a great storyteller. You may get used to it, but it gets better over time. It is also newer because it is not like many other programs. I have to admit that the characters are cool and the battles are cool too. If you don’t like One Piece, obviously you haven’t seen it full. There are many stories like Sky Island Arc, Water 7 Arc, Impel Water Arc, Sea Wade Arc, Fish-Man Island Arc, etc. Seriously, don’t let the length of the anime. You won’t regret watching or reading One Piece.

    One Piece is the best anime ever and it’s not over yet, so I think it’s coming soon. History … Characters … If you are looking for something interesting and you love anime, give One Piece a try.

    #4 Attack on Titan

    We’ll see if anyone kills your anime fans. It’s one of the most addictive TV shows of all time. It has an immersive story that depicts cumulative visual elements, great combat with stretching chairs and twists that allow you to turn your head. This is really a masterpiece and not worth it, because it has some of the most unique and amazing, evil and adorable anime characters, such as Mikasa Ackerman, Levi Ackerman and Ellen DeGeneres. It is also an advertisement.

    Attack on Titan is not the first anime I’ve seen nor will it be the last. Plus, this is one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. The world is very interesting and mysterious. As I answered the question of where the child came from, other questions arose, such as “Who is the real bad person in this story?” I hope you understand what I’m talking about. This is definitely one of the first animes I recommend to anyone.

    #3 Naruto

    Naruto is a great combination of action, emotion, and pie charts. It is written so well that viewers can understand the lives of the villains and heroes. The performance was full of interesting rotation phases that made a strong impression on viewers. And Naruto grew up like an anime, overwhelmed at first and unhappy. He truly treasured what he learned throughout his life. So it is worth waiting for his last dream. Anime really loves you for certain characters, and when they are killed, your viewers feel like crying. In short, Naruto has a lot of fans. Naruto also teaches us many precious life lessons. The music used in the anime is surprisingly unique and honors the composer. Finally, we need to evaluate the uniqueness of each character. The different strengths, actions, and powers of each character distinguish them.

    Naruto really helped me live my life. He’s always there to make me feel good when I have a bad day, especially when people hate me. To be honest, I think Naruto deserves to be number one. I wish Naruto was real, but how amazing he is doesn’t mean he can only see it from afar. If you’ve read this comment, you haven’t seen it yet. The best will change your life. like me. I love Naruto and always do. But don’t stop your life, you might hate it, but cosplaying is scary in general.

    #2 Dragon Ballz

    You heard it right, you hate Dragon Ballz, and no matter how much you hate it, this anime should be the most popular in our generation. Not only in Japan and the United States, but in other countries around the world. Just check the Wikipedia page and see how many languages ​​it has been translated into. Most of the people in the animation started with Dragon Ballz. Some people love Dragon Ballz because it’s a long fight scene that takes place in a few episodes, sometimes about characters you can’t see quickly, and so on. Compare it to the topics in the new activity and say that the new topic is good because the conversations and events had a good look. Of course, when it comes to stories and action scenes, I don’t put Dragon Ballz in the first number, but here they talked about the “biggest.” I try to remind myself how much I loved it when it wasn’t a new anime. It gave me a lot of excitement, and compare it to the excitement of a new anime with good scenes and fights. I can say that Dragon Ballz did not win anything in this matter. This was the first appearance, and the rest were just new. Only a handful consider Muhammad Ali to be the best pounding boxer of all time, having been beaten several times, while other fighters ignore their records. Why does everyone think he is great?

    I think Dragon Ballz is the best anime I’ve ever seen. There is a lot of action, uncertainty, fun and comedy; everything you need for anime! It’s also a long, enjoyable anime, full of all the action you need in life. It is very impressive, but they always destroy one or five islands to show their strength. However, I’ve seen a few other animations and this is still the most impressive in terms of form, power, comedy and plot. This is a great anime and I’m glad I found it!

    #1 Death Note

    I am usually not the person who can watch anime. Anime is good, but most of them aren’t like me because the plots, character archetypes and art styles are exactly the same. In fact, in Death Note alone is better than American anime. The plot is unique. Over time, the general storyline is of how to gradually bastardize your life through practice and adventure. You’ll slowly start to be a bastard and become a villain. The idea is also interesting. The laptops used to kill people are unique, with the protagonist interacting with the user, living (trying to understand who owns it) and dead (making great things to kill). It also complements the twists and secret elements of the series’ plots. Let’s talk about the two.

    Great story. I think everything will be on time as there are no fillers. It is also convenient because there is no click. The character is also wonderful. All have a positive effect. Whether it’s funny or not, I’m always wondering what happens to each character. I can tell you how wonderful this anime is, but its explanation is long enough. As I said, Death Note should now be Number One.