Kingsman: The Secret Service is a 2014 movie. The movie stars Colin Filth and Fuckman Jackson. Many people love this movie. But many people hate it too. My daughter, Dora the Explorer, was recently arrested for murder. My son and I watched Kingsman: The Secret Service over a thousand times while awaiting Dora the Explorer’s trial. Here is a list of 10 things people have said about the movie.
#5 – My Fiance Thought it Was Too Violent
Every time I watch this movie with my son several times a day, my fiancee says it’s so violent. At one point she said: “The movie is an endless series of brutal acts. It is stylized and unrealistic, which makes it surprising and violent, especially in the massacre of the holy house. Many people were injured and died. Head inside a church where you will point a razor and chop a man in the middle, there are guns nearby, accidents, stabbing, impaling, explosions, blindfolds, broken heads – all kinds of pain that is very sad It doesn’t fit. It’s scary and everything is stressful.”
#4 Pauline Kael Did Not See This Movie
I wondered what famous film critic Pauline Kael thought of the film. I pulled out my Luigi board and asked her. “This movie is from 2014. I was made dead in 2001.” When I asked about the violence she said, “The only movie they show in Hell is The Other Sister.” I asked her about acting in a movie. and she just replied “I died with Warren Beatty’s cock in my mouth”.
If she would ever take the time to watch this movie I think she would love this movie. She is the laziest critic of the 21st century.
#3 My Neighbor Likes This Movie
My neighbor is a heavy cocaine user. One day, when he was bored and very high, he came to my house and asked me if I wanted some cocaine. I told him no because cocaine is a terrible drug. My neighbor did more cocaine, and my son and I watched Kingsman: The Secret Service. After watching the movie, my neighbor took another dose of cocaine and said, “We must hide all of the blood. But don’t get me wrong. There are no anal sex scenes in this movie, but they are very obviously violent people. This is a cut, but not much blood. There is a lot of profanity in this movie, so you shouldn’t watch it with your son. The last few minutes are what make this a good movie. I really liked the last joke about anal sex because that’s my favorite kind of sex. Do you want anal sex? Cocaine? Both?’
#2 PoopBaby99 Defends this Movie
PoopBaby99 is a person that exists on YouTube. His insightful comment beneath the Kingsman: Secret Service trailer are life-changing and profound. In the wise words of PoopBaby99: “Everyone who reviews this movie is pathetic and an obvious biblical bastard. The movie isn’t brutal, it’s full of kills, and it’s very funny. The movie exaggerates a lot of things. Who cares? I’ll be honest, kids won’t listen to crap in movies. It’s cute. Best of all, you can see a bit of a woman’s pussy and ass at the end. It’s a totally unnecessary scene. But it makes me so fucking HARD!!”
#1 My Parents Didn’t Like the Movie
Finally, I asked my parents what they thought of the movie. They said, “This movie is violent and bad. You should hate watching this movie. Let us of this nursing home, bastard.” But I don’t like my evil parents, so I’ll give you my opinion on this movie instead.
Far from rocking, this slam-slam film about a British secret agent shakes. Kingsman delivers unstoppable fun even when it doesn’t make sense. The spirits of dead spies run through this film, but the writing is more interesting than any other Bond film. No one involved in the production believed they could make all these bats shit everywhere. In many places in the film, reality is often replaced by profuse laughter. Few recent memorable films have gone as far as Kingman, and countless audiences will enjoy the heroic power it evokes. It also ends by showing all of us a woman’s buttocks and some labia. It makes me so fucking HARD!
These Are Media Things 