My girlfriend will have a child The child must have a name. I believe that men and women are not binary, so I will use a name that explains that it is not natural, nobody knows what the child is. I have compiled my decisions with the top ten names. My girlfriend will not have the option to title the spawn. Her only job is to expel the child from the womb. What name should my first child have?
#10 Foot
“Hello! My name is Foot!” The vast majority of children in this global system are seriously injured and cannot be healed of their wounds. These damaged babies sit down and do nothing as their parents call struggle! It really is a tragedy for a mother when their child is sick or died or has had similar horrific experiences. It most cases the mother either abandons them or treats them badly. It may sound scary but it is exactly the way of human life. I think the name “Foot” reflects that important idea. I feel sorry for the children who have starved or were left in dumpsters.
#9 Pinchy
I know someone three different people named Pinchy. One was an escaped mental patient who broke into my house then slashed all of the bedding and all my clothing, destroyed all my furniture with bleach and stole all of my forks and two spoons. The other I knew was a girl that worked at the same strip club as my girlfriend. Her stage name was “Fire Goddess of the Lost Continent.” She stole everything that wasn’t nailed down from t he club to buy drugs – she went to jail and had to pay reparations. She also got fired. Also, she got pregnant and tried to say that my girlfriend was the father because she didn’t know how babies were made. She then called a talk show but nobody cared. It would be hilarious if it weren’t so pathetic. I have known two others named Pinchy who were really sweet, level-headed and beautiful inside and out.
#8 Piles of Bacteria
Umm, to the person who feels bad for people named “Piles of Bacteria”…I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOU and that is why I believe you will die a thousand deaths or more. Bacteria is a classical object. Also, my mother’s name was “Virus Pile” and my father was named “E. Coli Super Strand” but we nicknamed him “Papa Gutrot.” My 2nd best friend is named “Sweet Cholera.” I do not want them to be pitied. Thank you very much. People are actually jealous of me and my fashion sense. By the way, I am not mean but people say say that I am. People also call viruses and bacteria mean. It’s just either because of their ability to kill mass populations. They should actually be admired for that skill. Of course they are jealous.
#7 Hashtag
I met a girl not too long ago who was named Hashtag. She was not a very friendly child. She carried a large gun and would scream “Hashtag DEATH” and shoot at people. I still don’t know what would motivate a toddler to do this. She would constantly change ammo clips and scream “Hashtag RELOAD!” announcing to everyone that she was reloading. She would take a cellphone picture and scream “Hashtag SELFIE!” No matter what she did, she spoke of herself in the third person and always announced her name with every action. She wouldn’t leave anyone alone, even when the police would show up. She would shout “Hashtag PIGS! Hashtag SHOOTOUT!” She would go to the school and shout “Hashtag EDUCATION!,” and the police wouldn’t stop. She was strange but the pride she had in her name “Hashtag” was very admirable.
#6 Car Bomb
This is a name of ancient Celtic origin. It is very old and full of meaning. Many people in modern Ireland consider it to be offensive because of it’s long history. The Irish poet William Butler Yeats once wrote a poem about the origins of this very old and fascinating name. Here is that poem:
Leda and the Swan
A sudden blow: the great wings beating still
Above the staggering girl, her thighs caressed
By the dark webs, her nape caught in his bill,
He holds her helpless breast upon his breast.
How can those terrified vague fingers push
The feathered glory from her loosening thighs?
And how can body, laid in that white rush,
But feel the strange heart beating where it lies?
Of Bailey’s Irish cream use half an ounce
Of Jameson will use the same amount
A half pint of Gunniess, I do announce
Drink them all together, shot and stout
#5 Mayonnaise
Because it looks like the material that helped to create the child. I think that ANY food name will show that your child is delicious, though that may attract cannibals. If you’re trying to create a sandwich and wish that it had condiments named after your child, this would be the perfect name to use; it would show how she would think of herself higher than everyone else and feel the need to make that clear through the use of food. Like everyone has said of mayonnaise, “Miracle Whip is better” even though “Miracle Whip” sounds like a generally nasty name; this is because all people named “Miracle Whip” are bad people (perhaps because the have terrible parents with a bad palette). So “Mayonnaise” would be an ideal name to use to show the superiority of your child straight away.
#4 Doggo
My mother was left alone when my father fell in love with a woman who has more math than him. He holds the degree I had in mind. But my mother is only a Doggo. I was 19 years old. My mother came into the hotel. But she wasn’t allowed because she was a Doggo. I liked her very much. I found out she was taken to the zoo. I went to her everyday and I would give her a pig. I know that Doggos love pork. But I didn’t know which Doggo was my mother, so I gave them a little. One day I decided to enter the park. I wanted to hug. I climbed the fence and jumped inside. All the Doggos immediately rushed at me and attacked me. All but two walked away. I guess one of those Doggos is my mother. The guards rushed to help me and took me to the hospital. Glad that the leg didn’t hurt. I also have this leg which is my identity. You are very beautiful and I love you very much. My mother also had big paws.
#3 Diaperlord
My baby can be named Diaperlord. When was in 8th grade a girl at my school became with child and she named her spawn Diaperlord. Well, everyone thought Diaperlord was a very stupid name. The father of their child wanted to name the baby “Kyle” or “Chad” or “Montgomery.” She told him that she would only accept the name “Diaperlord.” She broke his heart. And being the kind person I am I lent a caring and listening ear to the guy. But he was also insane. Their baby was going to be a girl, and “Kyle” or “Chad” or “Montgomery” are terrible names for girls. I said he was crazy and walked away. They broke up and she named the baby girl Diaperlord. Diaperlord is very friendly. However the father of Diaperlord has tortured me for years because I did not think “Kyle” or “Chad” or “Montgomery” were good names for a girl. He has broken into my house and gouged the eyes out of all my American Girl dolls and arranged them to spell the names “Kyle” or “Chad” or “Montgomery.” He has actually threatened to damage my American Girl dolls to the point that I will have to take them to the American Girl doll hospital and seriously affect their resale value. Diaperlord is now 17 years old and her father continues to bully my American Girl dolls because of this name.
#2 KentuckyFriedChicken.com
This is only one KFC near me that I’ve been going to for a long time, and I soon find their customer service deteriorating.
A few months ago I ordered a meal for the whole family and when I asked for a hug he gave me a the largest hug in the world. It touched my heart. I asked for another and then he said there will be additional charges for the next hug. I told him that I bought a lot of food and so he should give me at least 5 more additional hugs. He gave me a handshake and said that was the best he could do. As I asked him, “What about other types of hugs?” There was no answer, so he grabbed me by my shit and shouted, “Why do you want so many hugs?!” I grabbed his hands and asked “Okay, can you post a sign so we know how many hugs we can receive,” and he replied “I don’t know.” Sounds like a bunch of BS Smh. Food is as expensive as it is. Why pay for the hugs? It’s stupid!
I stopped again at the restaurant. I found that they had 5 boxes with sliced potatoes, biscuits, coleslaw, and wine for 9.99. I ordered and said I wanted so many hugs. The man repeated what I said. And add “Are hugs something that you really enjoy?” So in order to get more hugs, I included two supreme tacos. It cost $35 for what we ordered. I looked into the box to make sure our order was correct and I saw that the coleslaw was gone. That would mean that I would only get less hugs. I told the man in the window that we were missing the coleslaw and he laughed. He said “You must be kidding! Nobody comes to KFC for coleslaw! Why do you care?” I asked him to give my coleslaw and my additional hug. He got angry and said he would need another $2 for the coleslaw and the hug. I said ok. And he said. “I actually have no arms and will not be able to give you the hug. But here is the coleslaw.” He spit it out of his mouth and I caught it in a bowl. I said “Next time tell people that you have no arms before you let them order hugs.” He was choking on coleslaw and I left.
Anyway, I like ordering online better than going to the store. So that’s why I can also name my child “KentuckyFriedChicken.com”
#1 Dora the Explorer
Dora is a seven-year-old Latina girl who loves to answer questions about what work she wants to do or where she wants to go. With her in a yellow bag is a primate friend named Boots. Each incident is based on a series of cyclical events that take place during Dora’s journey, with the obstacles she and Boots are forced to overcome, with “the confusion.” Help comes from proverbs, Spanish nouns or counting. This general practice could include also conversations between Dora and Swiper, the fox-headed thief of nine tails who was alw ays stealing other objects. Dora would say “Swiper, cease this abhorrent practice of stealing items!” Viewers take on the challenge of helping Boots and Dora find the stolen items. Another obstacle is their adversary, “Grumpy Old Troll” who lives in a building under the bridge that Dora and Boots will pass by. He will point at the proverb before agreeing to the past that had to be resolved by the audience. Known for its continuous motion, fifth-dimensional walls, viewers often show two primary displays to be transported before Dora reaches her destination. Usually it’s a confusing puzzle game. The show ends every time with Dora taking a rocket ship to space and singing “We can do it!” Take your boots and win.
These Are Media Things 