People like dogs. Lots of people like canines. There are big dogs and small dogs and mean dogs and okay dogs and nice dogs. Cats are only one size. Good dogs make good pets. Bad dogs don’t. I don’t have a dog. Here are top 10 movies about dogs.
#10 Milo and Otis
There is also a cat here so I can’t rank too high. It is only half of a dog movie. And it is not a real dog in this movie. Dogs are not friends. A man who says a dog is his best friend only says that because they have no human friends. The dog is not your friend. The dog only likes that you give food. The cat in the movie offers nothing but the dog is his friend? That is not a real dog.
This movie is actually about Dudley Moore. It is him being drunk a lot and talking about all the fun drinking he had with his friend Peter Of Tool. They would drink all the time and be stupid, shit in a living room, and barf on women. Like dogs do.
#9 Turner and Hooch
Why is this? Why is this on my list? Hooch is the ugliest dog ever. He is uglier than the ugliest person. He is also a bad dog, destroys things. Sometimes bites a person. And he’s a cop. A cop’s cop dog.
Tom Hanks is the greatest actor ever. Here he is a cop who likes this dog, even though the dog is ugly. The dog dies. Hanks is sad. But then gets a new dog. That’s life. If you don’t want your ugly dog to die, don’t make them cop dogs where they can be shot by criminals. If the dog really is a man’s best friend, why would that man put the dog in danger?
#8 Old Yellow
Why is this sad? People say this movie is sad. That dog, Old Yellow, had to die. It had rabies. That’s what happens when you have a dog in the world that you are irresponsible with. It will get rabies. Why are you crying? Stop that! Did you want Old Yellow to suffer and die in the painful madness of rabies? Did you want the Old Yellow to bite the boy and his family so they all die of rabies too? Is it because the boy had to shoot Old Yellow? That’s life. That boy becomes a man at the end of the movie when he kills the rabid beast that would have eventually threatened his family. It is a happy movie.
#7 Lassie
Totally basic dog movie. Everyone knows this dog. Even if they don’t know this dog, they know this dog. Just some dumb herding dog that acts like every other herding dog. Dumb and loyal. There are many movies about this dog. Lassie Saves Boys. Lassie Come Home. Lassie Play Fetch. Lassie Dies. I don’t know. There was a tv show too. Just the same dog doing dog things. Is this special?
#6 Lady and the Tramp
It is a good Disney animated one. This is the good dog movie on this list. The people have a dog and they like the dog. But then they have a baby, and the human baby is more important than the dog. They don’t love the dog as much anymore. So Lady meets other dogs, like Tramp, and learns that dogs are dogs and people are people. They are not really friends.
You see these Siamese cats. They are mean to the dog. The old woman that owns the cats is mean to the dog. The dog feels entitled to respect from people and others because “Hey, I’m a dog!” No person or animal is entitled anything. Lady does nothing to earn respect from people or dogs until later. At the end of the movie she helps kill a rat that was going to hurt the baby. THEN she earns respect. That is actual friendship between dog and human- mutual benefit. The dog earns food and affection by protecting the baby. No longer entitlement.
#6 Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey
This is about two dogs and one cat. So it is 2/3 of a dog movie. The cat is the best character because the cat already knows the nature of relations between animals and humans. Humans do not actually need animals except for food and some work. If an animal wants to be a pet, they must earn that.
In this movie, the two dogs and a cat become lost while the family that owns them is movie. These animals are forgotten. The family cannot look for them because that takes time and resources. Can the animals work? No. Are the animals food? No. Then why waste energy and resources looking for them, energy and resources better used in procuring food for a family. So the animals must accomplish this on their own. They animals must prove their value.
The animals do find their way home, they do this on their own. THEN the family accepts them. They show value and a will to earn their own keep. The dogs are not entitled to live with the humans, they earn that place– the same as every citizen must earn a place in the world.
#5 Beethoven
This big beast of a dog is dumb. This thing should have been abandoned or shot dead. Destroys the house of working humans, costs so much to keep and feed and keep. The dog provides no value. Beethoven is a gigantic parasite. A Saint Bernard could be used as a work beast, herding food animals, saving babies, or hauling beer. But not Beethoven. Beethoven feels entitled to food, shelter, and affection without providing anything in return. Beethoven does not love this family. The dog should have been abandoned.
#4 Air Bud
There are different ethical issues going on here. Let’s ignore the sequels and just do the original Air Bud movie.
There is a dog that earns his place in the world. A dog that does not act entitled. This is a dog that earns a paycheck through actual physical effort. This is the most admirable dog ever, developing a skill and utilizing it for his own personal gain.
However, this dog is acting outside of his own social class. This dog is taking a place on a basketball team that can and should be filled by a human. Yes, Air Bud is more capable at the job than other humans, Air Bud earned the position through his hard work, but he’s not white human, and this is an industry historically filled by humans. One cannot allow Air Bud, a dog, into the human workforce. Right?
I think. Don’t women play sports too? I think we’ve started allowing men and women to compete in the same sport together. So why can’t a dog play human basketball? Isn’t it just discrimination to keep Air Bud away from a sport because he’s a different race species?
#3 Marley and I
This is about Owen Wilson and the girl from Friends and Office Space adopting a dog. They want to see if they can be good parents. So they use a dog as a test. Can they raise a dog correctly?
Is this dog entitled to affection? Is this dog entitled to food paid for with another person’s earnings? Is a child, unable to fend for themselves, entitled to these things? Parents love a child because that is where their values lie. It is valuable to them to use their work and effort for a child that will not be able to ever repay the resources used to raise them. But, as humans, we utilize those resources on needy children to ensure the continuance of our species. For Owen Wilson and the lady from Friends and Office Space, they value this dog as a surrogate child. The dog serves that purpose in their life.
The dog dies. Not from danger, not from rabies, not from violence. The dog develops a disease, the same as humans. The dog dies of totally natural causes. Well, gets sick and then its pseudo-parents euthanize it. It costs money to put a dog to sleep, but they value this animal so that is where they choose to put their money.
I guess it is okay, then, for people to like dogs. If they want to spend money on a thing that has no actual value, will not earn them money, and will not be food. If they value it, they can spend money on it. No one is forcing them. Why do I care?
#2 Best in Show
These are valuable dogs. These dogs provide money and fame for their owners, and all they have to do is exist and look pretty. And they have to behave in certain ways. They have to not behave like dogs. The movie shows all these dogs as an accessory to a human. Dogs are exploited for the benefit of humans.
Is this right? Is this a good thing to do? To force dogs to not act like dogs so that an owner can find fame and money? Is it exploitation? The movie is funny, but I think its wrong to do to these dogs. Sad that the dogs cannot say or do anything about it. There is one dog that tries to act like a dog but he is banned and then removed and replaced with another dog.
#1 101 Dalmatians
Again. Do dogs have rights? In this movie, Cruella De Ville is the grim image of capitalism. She has captured 101 dogs to exploit for their own benefit. The dogs will die during this exploitation, but there is nothing the dogs can do. There is nothing illegal she is doing. There is no government that will stop Capitalist De Ville from exploiting dogs to make her clothing. This is the same as exploited children in another country dying as they manufacture clothes for Wal-mart.
The 101 dalmatians rise up in revolt and seize the means of production. The fight against Capitalist De Ville and her thugs to earn their freedom, to earn their right to exist free of exploitation. They all live in the utopian household of some happy family. Well, they can’t all live in one tiny townhouse. So they will go elsewhere, wherever they want, to do whatever they want.
Some will become work dogs, some will become friends for lonely people. 101 different dalmatians building altruistic relations with humans. It is a happy thing for the humans and the dogs. They are not exploited.
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