Let’s face it, sometimes filmmakers love to smoke illegal substances. These dangerous drugs can lead to frustration, instability, and problems. But it is this kind of pain and trauma that allows filmmakers to create films where the audience can feel the same way. As a result, they make ironic and really dirty romantic movies. These movies have love but it is wrong.
#10 Dark Horse
This is a story called Dark Horse. Unlike a love story, it’s really depressing and no one is ever happy or even in love. This is rather an inaccurate description because I didn’t learn enough words to talk about movies such as this. I still have to work harder to read, but my tutor said I was doing well. Anyway, Dark Horse is not a romantic comedy. It is neither a romance nor a comedy so it’s nothing. The soundtrack contains music, the actors are full of scents, and the characters are all borderline insane. But if you watch it at least 20 times in a row without stopping, you will feel rotten inside of your whole body.
In this movie you will meet Abe. He is an eligible 35-year-old bachelor living at home. The lucky man was never responsible for his life. He knows that all the problems he’s ever had were caused by someone else. He meets Miranda at a wedding. She really doesn’t want to do anything with him. However, she is reluctant to give him the number and after the meeting he asks her to get married. Miranda, who uses a lot of medication in depression, and many other drugs, agrees to get married and thinks that Abe is not so bad. But actually he is completely evil. There is no love, only hatred and murder.
#9 Gone Girl
When police investigate a murder, the first suspect is usually someone who may have committed the crime. Gone Girl, which is the proud feminist work of a male director, knows that audiences don’t usually know who did it. That’s why these stories are sometimes called mysteries, because people don’t have answers. Amy’s husband says she didn’t kill her and creates a secret in himself. In this film, Nick and Amy’s marriage got into an unfortunate situation, and on the fifth anniversary of their marriage, Nick returned home to discover that Amy was no more. In fact, Amy actually went out to choose a new house from the various houses on the real estate site. There are signs that this is not true. Nick called the police when his life fell apart and was punished. He was a husband in the media, but also a killer of blonde women. Everyone wanted Amy to respond to what had happened.
If there was a movie that showed how terrible marriage truly is, it is Gone Girl. If you marry someone and live together, you will think that it will be a happy time with a dear companion. In reality, there is an army of cold-blooded psychiatrists waiting to match your life. Sometimes you might feel happy before you get married, in this case just enjoy the freedom of a relationship without getting married. You can try to convince yourself that your marriage is nothing but pure happiness. But you’re wrong.
Jane Austen appreciated the director, the script, the editing, the score, the visual style and the acting of all the characters. William Shakespeare wrote, “It’s a good movie. It really can educate women all over the world about their women’s responsibilities.” My girlfriend said, “This movie is an incredibly good movie. It may not be the perfect movie, but it may be a perfect idea of what to do when our relationship get boring and stale.”
#8 Star Trek: Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Although Star Trek: Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf was takes place before the Dominion War story arc of Deep Space Nine, that doesn’t mean it’s not as sour or evil as the story lines of that period. This part of the film franchise is inspired by Henrik Ibsen’s 1867 play. The story follows middle-aged Martha and George, played by Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. George is an associate professor of Klingon history and Martha is president of the United Federation of Planets. They go to a diplomatic event aboard the Starship Enterprise. Then Martha invites a young Bajoran couple, Nick (George Segal) and Honey (Sandy Dennis) back to their guest suite to enjoy a few more bottles for Romulen Ale. Before the young couple plays on the ship, George and Martha quarrel with each other, and once their guests beam aboard, the unfortunate space adventure becomes an emotional war, and Nick and Honey become involved by accident.
In addition to the two watching couples trying to destroy each other, the film also shows that relationships can sometimes be like a massive intergalactic power struggle between two rival planets. By the end of the film, you’ll learn that love and marriage are just like a life sentence in a space prison with an alien you hate enough to kill them. This is proof that marriage will still be a depressing and unnecessary thing even in the 24th century.
#7 Red, White, & Blue
Nate is a mentally unstable and homeless military veteran who works part-time at a hardware store. It is there that he meets a naughty person named Erica. Erica sleeps with Nate, but she really doesn’t want it (he is kinda small there). Instead, she wants to do things slowly. No one has noticed it yet, but Nate is still ruthless and patient. Eventually, he and Erica, who have been badly ruined in their lives, start what at first seems like a sweet and gentle relationship. But we all know love is a lie and it will end in dark tragedy. Then one day in Erica’s life she was replaced, she disappeared, and Nate left the dark, ruthless part of his courtship.
Red, White, & Blue tells the truth that love is incredibly depressing and meaningless. When someone is in love, they see life differently and everything looks new. They also see the truth that you are awful, and you see that they are terrible too. But losing love is like pushing yourself into a cave and spreading your feces around the wall to write the a manifesto about your former lover. The biggest thing to know is that they are likely to be doing the same thing. You hate each other just as much.
#6 The Collector (1965)
Romantic relationships can cause the greatest stress ever. It requires a lot of communication and a lot of listening to other people and pretending that you care. It requires a lot of work, more work than the average person is really capable of. Why do we do this to ourselves? You can instead catch a girl you like and toss her down into a dirty basement until she loves you. This is the plot of the 1965 movie The Collector. In the film, Frederick Clegg kidnaps Miranda Gray, a young student who fainted, and locks her in the basement of his stately manor, hoping she will fall in love. It’s a great idea and has always been shown to work. Frederick is a monster, and because the beautiful woman is locked in the house, she doesn’t go to meet other men who can take her to the basement. You also need to know that this event is dark and will make a great Valentine’s Day movie. The story is a favorite of serial killers.
According to Emma magazine’s Jane Austen, the main character’s personality “was initially completely mysterious and interesting, but if we don’t know about it again, it became monotonous and eventually melodramatic. It’s like getting sold some bad cocaine.” According to Austen, the director “played an interesting and often surprising role in making the film, but he could do nothing but hit the blood-melting parts a little.” Positive critics, like Charles Dickens from Bleak House, called the film “a permanent act that uses the tastes and fantasies of modern romance.” I asked a customer at my girlfriend’s strip club what he thought of the movie, and he said, “Hey, you little shit. You are always going around here asking stupid questions about stupid movies. This is a strip club. Just look at the girls and leave me alone.”
#5 Solaris
Solaris is a distant planet completely covered by various things. By observing planets from space, scientists learn that the aliens living there are really special critters. But they seem different from the critters in the movie franchise Critters. They seem nice so the space people try to communicate with them. Psychologist Chris Kelvin asks a ship’s friend to come to a space station where he sees a human on the planet’s surface. When Chris arrives at the space station, he knows the station has collapsed and no one can see him. He also says his friend committed suicide. Shortly after his arrival, Chris woke up and found his late husband, Harry, in his bedroom. Chris doesn’t know how he got there because Harry committed suicide 10 years ago. Chris then learns that the planet creates can actually revive dead people from other places.
From now on, Chris will experience a moral problem. For example, “Harry” is a bit of a self-important, egotistical dick. He is also a greasy, bloody version of Chris’s lost husband. But that might not actually be real. Solaris is a great movie. Because when you kill someone and leave everything behind, the brain is distorted, controlled and contaminated. This is pretty incredible. Also, if you get a second chance with someone, take advantage of it and make it better. Even if you are on some funky alien planet.
#4 The Vanishing (1988)
Rex and Saskia got married while on vacation in France. They had their wedding reception at a service station near a busy highway. It was during this event that Saskia simply disappeared. Over the next three hundred years, Rex searched for any clues as to what happened to his wife. Grief can create immortality. Saskia’s kidnapper then contacted Rex and he said that if Rex met him on a remote space station, he would tell him exactly what happened to the woman. The Vanishing tells how evil kidnappers are and how they take a joy out of fucking up other people’s lives. Kidnappers suck. You can ask what happened and why they disappeared your wife, but you will never find an answer that will please you.
Renowned critic Jane Austen says The Vanishing culminated in one of the scariest endings of all time, so be prepared for that. I wasn’t and it shocked me pretty hard, almost to death. The American version was a lame movie starring Jeff Bridges and Kiefer Sutherland. It’s a great example of why Hollywood shouldn’t adapt European art. So if you are looking for an educational work about how to perform a successful kidnapping, stay tuned into the original movie.
#3 Blue Valentine
Blue Valentine is all spoiled and ubiquitous tripe. It is the story of Dean and Cindy’s six-year relationship, played by Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams. The film mainly shows the different tastes of people with regard to marriage. As William Shakespeare explained, “Dean thinks marriage is a taco and Cindy thinks that it is an enchillada.”
The film tries to figure out what happened in the relationship, but is there a real moment that is causing the collapse? Blue Valentine is an incredibly realistic portrayal of how devastating storms like hurricanes can cause mass confusion throughout different communities. If you’re feeling lonely, make a wish with a Valentine’s Day card. So you can thank the heavens for not having these issues. Never fall in love and you will always be happy.
Regarding this depressing turmoil, Jane Austen said, “ The emotional attachment to rocks isn’t always easy, but Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling offer performances of incredible depth and power. My girlfriend was getting annoyed by me asking about movies all the time and, after a short fight, she sighed and said: “What don’t you ask people at the theater? Do you have friends?”
#2 The Shape of Things
The Shape of Things was written and directed by Neil The Butt, who is known for his horror stories about people disfigured by acid. This is probably his most vicious film. That’s pretty cool if you have seen all the different animals he sacrificed to make movies. Paul Rudd plays Adam, a kind of quiet college student who undergoes some life changes that changed almost every aspect of his existence. When he first met you he was totally normal Paul Rudd, but then he turned into something like Marlon Brando in The Island of Dr. Moreau. He also finds himself an art school girlfriend, Rachel Weiss.
The twist in the film is really damn crazy and super-mean. I hated the movie for doing that. It shows how horrible a person can be, especially if they are Paul Rudd. It hurts everybody. If you are in a relationship, The Shape of Things will make you ask and if you are single. If you fall in love you will be never happy for the rest of your life. And, if you are a Paul Rudd fan, I don’t want to be your friend or know anything about you. If you’re fan of that hack you can just go away.
#1 The War of the Roses
Directed by Danny DeVito, this devastating sci-fi horror tells the story of the relationship between Barbara (Kathleen Turner) and Oliver Rose (Michael Douglas), two people who met during a drunk college frat party. She was auctioned off and he won her. This was an arranged marriage that he had paid for. A few years later they kinda got used to each other and being in love. Soon they had a son and a daughter. Like other couples where the woman was purchased at auction as property, they have some serious issues. Over the years their conflicts become more intense, and they kill some people even. So both want a divorce. The problem is, they neither of them want to be homeless. That is a terrifying thing. Oliver paid for the house and his wife, but Barbara worked for years to turn the one-bedroom tar-paper shack into a villa. You have to work hard to accomplish that. Later, due the absolute failure of our broken legal system, the two were allowed to live in a house where a fierce war broke out. Eventually they had nuclear weapons, not unlike the real War of the Roses that happened in England between 1455 and 1487.
The War of the Roses shows the true dark side of any relationship. You never hate until you hate the one you loved. It reminds us that we need to end all forms of love, especially your insipid ex-girlfriends who won’t follow you on Facebook. All relationships will end in bloodshed and murder. Never love.
I’m an exception. I am in love and happy. But that’s because I have the best girlfriend in the entire universe.
These Are Media Things 