Tag: Romance

There is technology everywhere! So much tech! So much abstraction! But then I see bad games, or I see people fight about feminism and gaming and social messages. Please, can’t we just make gaming great again? In the 90’s they were just games. People didn’t fight over social issue in a game, they just fought over who was player one.

#10 Super Mario World

Mario and Luigi have worked hard to save the Kingdom of Mushrooms from Bowser. They will continue that work, forever, until the end of time. Or the end of video games. The pair was destined even bigger with the help of Lady Dinosaur.. So will rescue the abducted Princess again. And restore peace and order to the country’s dinosaurs again. Why doesn’t the princess hire security?

If you were alive at any point in time you played this game. It’s a pretty good one. Super Mario World addicted fan almost immediately, like street drugs that are cut with more addictive chemicals to boost sales. Following video games like Super Mushroom, Fire Flower and Cape Feather have had enthusiastic players. This has left many painful. No surprise that this favorite game sold over 20 zillion copies. That is a lot of games!

#9 Oddjob 007

Everyone wants to become a wealthy man like Oddjob. In 1997, that desire became a reality. Oddjob 007 for the Nintendo 64 console, allows players to do what they know best about Oddjob, throwing his hat and cheating at PvP because he’s too short to shoot at. The main objective of this game is to run around and troll multiplayer games while your friends yell at you. You play as Oddjob, and you run around and slap people in the dick while they try and figure out the complicated controls to aim down and shoot at you. The game allows for 4-player multiplayer PvP, so you can alienate three of your friends as you run around slapping them in the dick until they can’t shoot you.

#8 Pokemon Red and Blue

Pokemon is an international sensation. It’s also a euphemism for sexual intercourse. Like “Hey, sexy lady! Wanna play some Pokemon? ;)” The game was big with kids, but adults like it too. There was a TV series and business cards and different generations of the video game that treats the Pokemon of life as a real thing. These little Japanese animals gave the strong hug to the fans. Pokémon Red and Blue, was the first of two releases of Nintendo Pokémon franchise. The player attracted many creatures, educated, negotiated with them, and expolited them. In the Pokemon world, players soon move to some places, such as the Cerulean City and Lavender Town, raising the Pokeman as a master Pokemon Trainer in order to defeat the leader of all the Pokemons. Together with your sidekick Pikachu if you play the yellow one. Pikachu actually sucks because his defense is low. Magnemite is better because he is Steel Type and has a higher evasion rate. He REALLY sucks in Yellow because in Red and Blue you can start with Bulbasaur or Squirtle and it makes the first gym easier. Bulbasaur is better because he also kicks ass in Misty’s gym later. In Yellow you have to take Pikachu who is not effective at all in the first gym. And his defense is so low he also sucks in Misty’s gym where electric type should be good but that Starmie’s Bubblebeam can one hit kill Pikachu. So don’t even bother with broken yellow. Play Red or Blue. The game was a great success, and found some of the flaws exploited by the user.

#7 Doom

This is a video game. There were zombies in space. And demons. It scared a lot of Christian kids. It is the first really cool first-person shooting game. You are Player, an extraordinary soldier involved in multi-dimensional warfare. The Devil is a person who comes close to the soldiers. You must persuade the monsters not to destroy the earth. You achieve this persuasion by killing every single one of them. If in real life, you get angry and shoot lots of people, you can say that it was because of playing Doom. That is something we learned. It has been played a lot, it was one of the most popular games. Maybe it didn’t actually cause violence because only two boys out of the millions who played Doom ever shot up a school. Maybe you can’t blame violence on Doom. Maybe a game is just a game? It’s a fun game.

#6 TAILS!!! (Sonic the Hedgehog 2)

Sonic is a blue hedgehog that runs fast. Whatever. But this game introduces us to Soni’s faithful cousin. Now motherfuckin Tails is all up in this bitch and shit just got real. He has TWO tails, that’s like twice the awesome. And he’s a FOX! How the hell does Sonic have a cousin that is a fox? They ain’t even the same species. It’s because Tails is a GOD! Now Dr. Robotnik is gonna understand the hurt because Tails is here. With his two tails, his cute face, all that hot fanfiction and things on deviantart about him. Everyone loves Tails and the seven magical eggs of death. It was a two-player game, but nobody ever did that because everyone wanted to be Tails. Fuck Sonic. Tails 4 Life!

#5 Kirby in Dream Land

The first video game featuring Kirby was released in the early 90’s for the Game Boy, Boi. That didn’t sound as cool as I thought. Kirby is this thing that looks like a fart cloud and sucks up enemies. Kirby, whatever the hell he is, is more powerful when there are things coming in his mouth. Kirby, the puff of something, fights by sucking on other enemies. He also had the opportunity to fly, but only when he was sucking off a flying monster. However, if you sucky sucky long time on a monster, they can hurt you. Seriously, what the hell is this? It was popular but now that I think about it, why? Kirby is a thing that sucks on other things. I don’t know if it was sexual or cannibalism or fun. That is one fucked up Dream Land.

#4 Mortal Combat

Should be “Mortal COMBAT!” with a C. Spell it right! Even I know this, but that’s because I have a GED. Sega didn’t have “Sonik the Hedgehog” and there’s no “Lara Kroft; Tomb Raider!” In this game, Mortal Combat spelled with a C and not with a K like some badass illiterate, you fite in a deady game on a remote eyeland. It’s only an arkade game, you arn’t actually sent to an eyeland. A powerful wizard called Shang Zong has been running this hustle for five hondred years, and he luves to watch if the players can destroy each other. Fatalati! Players can do all kinds of diferent muves to attac they’re enemie. The graphix are realy good and their is alot of vilence. The game as provoked a lot of contraversy from hangry parents because of the blud and vilence. Many peepol think this game is a huge crime and makes to vilence. Witch is still behind most arguments today about gaymes.

#3 NBA Jam

I was 14. When most boys my age were stuffing their genitalia into socks and thinking of their first time with a woman, I was stuffing quarters into this arcade game. Can I remember packing for several hours in the car in the gallery? The game absorbed all of my money. And then I bought it for SNES so I didn’t have to spend so many quarters. This street basketball game was the first sporting game for the first time in the world. It had real NBA players with real pixelated pictures of them. We all knew in 1993 and 1994 who these people were. Some kid playing this now are gonna see all these names and faces and be all “Who the fuck this?” Unlike real basketball, however, this game did not have physics. The game allows players to do just about anything they want. You could fly through the air across the whole court and then spin around set a ball on fire and break the glass. “He’s on FIRE!”Boomshakalaka!” and other such nonsense.

#2 The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Link had come to a lot of people, but a lot of people have had to chase him. This is the fifth Zelda game to be release. I don’t know where it is in the story with the other games, that never makes sense. With this, the players began to play as a child in the woods, then as an adult, then there is some garbage with a traveler from the mask sales agency who makes Link wear a lot of hats. Ocarina’s of time was the first game in 3D, but it was kinda crappy hard to navigate 3D. It was a new thing. Be forviging. It really is a fun game. It could be #1 on my list. But there is Navi. “Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey Listen! Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey Listen! Hey!” That is why it is not #1.

#1 Super Mario Kart

This go-kart racing game. You know, with the Rainbow Road and the shells. They keep making this game and it’s still the same. I mean, you can google Mario Kart and learn all about that. I don’t have time to tell you. I’m going to play NBA Jam.