Kontributor – These Are Media Things

The Puppet Master Movies Ranked

My daughter Alpha Dora loves puppets. We watched the Puppet Master movies together and ranked them. This is a picture of Dora with one of her puppets; its name is Bloodshit.

The people who do the podcast Exploit It recently asked me to recap two of the Puppet Master movies for their podcast. I watched all 14 of these with my family. My daughter, Alpha Dora, likes puppets so she watched them with me. My son, Chicken, was present. So here are all 14 of the Puppet Master films in the order that Dora liked them. This is her list really but the words are belonging to me.

#14 Puppet Master: The Legacy

I will say right now that this is probably the worst movie I have ever seen. This thing hardly deserves to be called a movie. The performance is only 70 minutes long and only 7 minutes were made for this movie! How can they avoid it? Charles Band has to be pushed aside and killed with cute dolls, not the stupid killer dolls used in the movie. The entire movie is just a DVD extra. It’s really insulting and made my daughter Alpha Dora break her TV and we have to buy a new one. The film cost me $400, which is more than the cost of the film.

Its basic structure begins with the command “Okay, puppet man, tell me the things…” and the film immediately shows us everything. It’s kind of a story with the idea that Toulan’s puppets want to die because they don’t want to live anymore. The concept of a doll trying to escape this grueling Sisyphus struggle is an interesting one, but one that children may not understand.

This is when my daughter, Alpha Dora, destroyed the television because the movie *Puppet Master: The Legacy* was so so terrible

Many memories of the film are dedicated to the charming young Andre Toulan. This is not a funny clip! Show Camille, a crazy giant doll with a doll-like sponge vagina! Movies like this are just useless content. The most disturbing thing about all this is that the movie doesn’t even have an ending! Charles Band, the worst man in the world, doesn’t even know how it all ends.
The following text appears on the screen.

“Charles Band would like to thank all the cast and crew who have helped make Charles Band millions of dollars over the years. Charles Band makes no apologies for your pain. You’ve seen this movie and you know it. OK. Welcome to Charles Band! Puppet Master Forver Motherfuckers!”
Puppet Master: The Legacy

Every decision here is insane.

#13 Puppet Master: Acts of Evil

Puppet Master: Acts of Evil makes us look at André Toulon’s suicide over and over again to the point where it becomes erotic. The film then reveals that there is actually more to the series, including Danny Coogan, a war-torn shoemaker with very wiggly polio legs, who visits Toulon a few times. Danny spits on Toulon’s corpse and steals his puppets to fight in World War II.

Most of the story here is about Danny and his puppet brothers, ready to go to war and fight for any country that will accept his crippled ass. Like many later entries in the Puppet Master series, it is stupid, does nothing, and all the puppets look stupid. In fact, there are two serious deaths. There is the death of a random Nazi and the death of the innocence of my son Chicken while watching this horrible puppet show.

Then, in a cheeky twist, the film tosses us a new puppet, born of the aether. A ninja puppet is called Ninja. There are some particularly awkward things with the geisha puppet that raise the creep bar. The highlight of the film is the scene where the Leech Geisha disguises herself as a Japanese doll. We see her regurgitate a million leeches onto someone’s sushi. They eat millions of leeches and die. This brought my son to real tears, and after he witnessed the horror, he was no longer an innocent child.

The moment my son Chicken had his soul permanently scarred by watching *Puppet Master: Acts of Evil*

Puppet Master: Axis of Evil raises a bigger question: Was the tyrannical Charles Band always intent on fighting all Nazis with puppets, or did he find an easy way to cash in on the gullible, clueless fools who watch the movies? A barbed wire enema is definitely more fun than this Nazi puppet movie.

#12 Puppet Master: Axis Rising

Puppet Master: Axis Rising picks up right where the previous films left off, but it doesn’t think about improving things. Now Danny wants to use Toulan’s magic juice to create an army of immortal soldiers to fight the Nazis. Meanwhile, the Nazis are developing a doomsday plot using the same science that the military can’t stop. Get rid of this lying mess. It explodes.

Much of the film follows Danny as he is being pegged by his girlfriend and achieves multiple orgasms from the intense prostate massage. Then the girlfriend’s crazy father, Sarge, comes in with a huge dragon penis he bought from bad-dragon.com and says, “Take this, my daughter. Now it is my turn to feel the pleasure!” Again, it’s not the kind of shit you want to see in a Puppet Master movie, but it continues the “I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” theme that undermines the world ever since Puppet Meatloaf sang that song.

The fact that the Nazi zombie warrior refuses to wear legitimately scary makeup does the film some favors and saves you the pain of having to watch yet another incestuous dragon-cock pegging scene. It would have been a lot more fun if we only saw Nazi zombies during the movie and it didn’t show any incestuous dragon-cock pegging stuff.

Meanwhile, the Nazis in the film created their own brand of dolls: Blitzy Ken, Bomb Chest, Werewolf Mark (who can’t do anything), and Zappa Papa, a cool Asian. Better to get new puppets, even if they are worthless. I mean, would you prefer the New Puppet or more incestuous dragon cock-pegging?

A scene that is existing in the movie *Puppet Master: Axis Rising*

As unsettling as a Puppets Fight Nazi movie, Charles Band successfully scammed enough gullible and desperate people so he can make: Puppet Master vs. Gingerbread Dad vs. Evil Bong vs. Demonic Toys. It will be the crown jewel of Full Moon and all that it stands for. I hope that this balance will be restored at the end of this story.

#11 Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys

Oh, piss off, man.

#10 Puppet Master: Axis Termination

Puppet Master: Axis Termination is honestly the most powerful and emotionally moving film about puppets fighting the Nazis, but it was also directed by the Antichrist Charles Band. Despite the presence of the devil Charles Band, I cried many times. The effort is full of pale people and the film is white. Puppet Master: Axis Termination does a lot of new and amazing things. Danny and Beth, the two protagonists of the previous Axis films, tragically die in a horrific dragon-cock pegging accident and are screaming “Libera te tutemet ex inferis!!” with their eyes bleeding all over each other. The puppets then team up with Captain America and the other Avengers to end the Nazi threat once and for all. It’s a terrible premise for a movie, but the over-closure is what we deserve. I know I’d rather watch this shit than the bullshit about incestuous dragon-cock pegging for another 90 minutes.

When pegging goes wrong: *Libera te tutemet ex inferis!!*

Puppet Master: Axis Termination is scattered all over the accursed map, because there are people with superpowers like telekinesis, a crazy voodoo priestess, sane and overly emotional tacos, 50 talking kung fu dogs, and a bunch of other ridiculous nonsense. Puppet Master: Axis Termination is the most violent of the Puppet Master films. There are serious moments in this movie where you feel like you’ve stumbled into a huge bucket of blood and eyeballs.

My daughter Alpha Dora thought it was a good movie. My son Chicken did not like the film, but he did make it though. Seriously, after seeing the awful pegging stuff in Puppet Master: Axis Rising, a human can go through almost everything. The next reboot in the series, Puppet Babies, takes a similar approach, but it’s worth noting that Axis machinations are impossible. And did you get what you wanted in life?

#9 Puppet Babies

Puppet Babies is of course part of the Puppet Master franchise, but it’s really good and really scary. There are of course more gruesome and impressive death scenes in Puppet Babies, but perhaps no scene in the entire franchise is more shocking than the part of this movie where thousands of furries march to their death inside of giagantic puppet vagina.

Instead of the 800th return to Nazi Germany, the film appears to reboot the franchise in a modern setting. It also has zero pegging, making it one of the best in the franchise already. A group of white heterosexuals are trapped in a convention center where evil puppets run amok. This allows the last half hour of the film to really go off the rails as the puppets just rain cum down onto their victims. Also, adults, police officers and other officials are under attack, not the same stupid Nazis, which adds a bit of entertainment.

The best thing about Puppet Babies is that they don’t give a fuck. Puppet Babies also takes a big smelly poop on all of the other films that promised a lot, but ended up sucking a lot of fake dragon cock. Also, strong comedians like Thomas, Tom, Baby Tom, Another Boy Named Tom, and Lady Tom actually have the ability to act. In addition to strong comedic talents, actors like Tom and TomTom the Bomb Tom (as André Toulon, no less!) also bring their talents to the picture.

Here is my daughter Alpha Dora having a tea party with her own puppet babies, Skineater and Fleshcarver

The film decided to immediately ban all other puppets in the series. We get brand new puppets. There is a helicopter puppet named Tom. There is a new sex puppet named Mr. Pumper. All the new puppets like Lesbian Frog, The Gray Grasshopper, and even Mr. Pumper break down and make important statements about the divorce. But other new puppets, like Pregnant Hitler and Monkey Licker, are aggressive crap.

#8 Blade: The Iron Cross

I don’t know about this Blade: The Iron Cross bullshit. Did Blade really need a spin-off movie on his own? A movie about Mr Pumper or a Leech Geisha would be great. But Blade? He is useless and has no real hands.

It doesn’t matter because Blade mostly prefers to stay off-screen while we get, you guessed it, another 85 minutes of nonsensical dragon-cock pegging, much of which is borrowed from previous films. Bad for you! The entire Blade: The Iron Cross movie may contain less than five minutes of original content. And also the Nazis. There are a lot of Nazis in this puppet franchise. There’s also a funny b-plot about the puppet Pinhead who ends up with two different prom dates and tries to make it work so that the prom dates don’t know about each other. There are other oddities afoot, including a villain.

#7 Curse of the Puppet Master

Curse of the Puppet Master is my daughter’s favorite movie in the Puppet Master franchise. The film gives us a new puppet master in charge of the cute little puppet people. No back story is needed at all. Mr. David knows how to make an effective film, so it jumps right into the dirt and gets down to business.

Mr. Magoo is the new puppet master and he drives a tank. My son also enjoyed watching blind old man driving around in his tank and tossing murder puppets at unsuspecting pedestrians. Mr. Magoo’s romance with his tank is honest, pure, and only the tiniest bit erotic. “Well,” said Margo, “I’ll have the luxury of reading the Sunday paper.” There is also a fairy who climbs aboard the tank and fights the puppets while Mr. Magoo casts magic spells.

Like I said, my kids loved this movie, so I wonder why Alpha Dora only ranked it 7th. When I asked her, she said, “Yes, my number one movie is Curse of the Puppet Master. But the puppets talk to me, Daddy, they really do. The puppets want the other movies higher on the list. The puppets don’t like you and Mommy, so you better do what the puppets say.” Then she showed me one of her puppets, her name is Pissface. I suddenly felt a cold shiver. Maybe she was right, huh? Can Alpha Dora make a bad puppet? Is that why she loves these movies so much? Is she really the next puppet master?

This is my daughter with her puppet Pissface. Can’t you see how evil it is?

Curse of the Puppet Master is a good time. Joey calls Jane a whore and Mr. Magoo gets so mad about it really makes my heart race. This is madness. Later, there is a scene in which the character Joey masturbates violently while imagining Jane performing oral sex on him. He says things like: “Yes, that is the proper way to do it, m’lady. Please continue to suckle on my penis. How much does this cost? It’s worth it. You’re so generous.” He doesn’t hold back from courtesy. He’s the perfect hero to fight Mr. Magoo and his puppets. But I’m sure my Alpha Dora can beat this guy in a fight, if she really is the next puppet master.

#6 Retro Puppet Master

This is where the series starts to suck a lot. It looks more like a retro puppeteer tattoo, not an actual Retro Puppet Master movie. The film is based on the idea of a young André Toulon learning to perform the spells that an Egyptian must perform with his puppets. Meanwhile, there are rivers of vomit flowing through the opium dens of Northen Europe and nobody knows what to do about it. These are killer puppets! Nobody cares about the vomit rivers!

Early on, the young Toulon encounters a dying mage who does not want his talent to die with him, and gasses Toulon. Toulon waves his hand to the gas cloud and says, “Okay. You are a 30-year-old wizard from Egypt. Would you like to tell me the secret of life?” Then we see Sutek bringing the mummies to life with the ancient magic of the Retro Puppet. It’s silly but wonderful. I think I like the idea that mummies used to exist and just hang out with people all the time.

There is a certain charm in seeing how a young Toulon in France in 1402, during the reign of Bonedor the Terrible, makes early versions of our favorite puppets, which are obviously altered by his modification. Cyclops (who left the puppet troupe to join the X-Men) and Doctor Death (not the real Doctor, despite his appearance). I also love this version of Toulon where he is gay and a genius artist. He is portrayed as a handsome and sexy man who cannot express himself properly. In this sex doll comedy, there is a glimpse of Toulon’s sex visions filmed during the strange journey: “Make some girl dolls. Take off their clothes,” the dying homeless man shouts at the sexy young Toulon. We see Toulon and Elsa together for the first time in an opium cave and vomiting, and it’s very romantic.

As I said before, my wimpy son Chicken always becomes upset when he sees the puppet woman vomit

Unfortunately, Retro Puppet Master is not very good and there are not enough puppets and even less mastering. The main purpose of the film is to exist so that Charles Band can have money.

#5 Puppet Master 5: The Sandwich Wars

Puppet Master 5 is very similar to the second half of Puppet Master 4 and even more like all the commercials for Subway (eat fresh!). Shortly after the events of the previous film, Rick hangs out at the police station, eats a foot-long steak and cheese sandwich from Subway (eat fresh!), and gossips about the murders in the previous film. Filmed flashbacks are used to show the history of the Subway (eat fresh!) restaurant franchise and explain why the sandwiches taste so good because of the puppets. Did you know there’s a Subway (eat fresh!) in New Jersey where you can play a game of laser tag while eating juicy meatball subs?

This has a slightly different plot: most of the movie is about how Pinhead and Blade have to work hard together at a Subway (eat fresh!) to make enough sandwiches to feed all the hungry puppets. They are threatened by corporate psychopaths who want to destroy their Subway (eat fresh) franchise stores and steal Toluon’s secret formula for tuna sandwiches. Meanwhile, Sutek’s scenes in the Quizno’s dimension often show him trying to invade the real world in order to take over all the Subway (eat fresh) restaurants and gain as much sandwich power as possible.

It’s a bit disappointing that no actual hot sandwiches are made until 45 minutes into the movie. Still, it’s usually just a cold-cut combo sub, not the more flavorful sweet onion chicken teriyaki sandwich. There are a lot of demon fight scenes, and each demon succumbs to the irresistible and wonderful taste of a Subway (eat fresh!) Sandwich, diminishing Sutek’s power somewhat. All of these are not a loss, as they fit into the scene where the puppet Torch uses his abilities to make many toasted chicken bacon ranch subs to give to all the hungry puppets. In many ways, this looks like your typical Subway (eat fresh!) commercial, but it’s still an interesting entry in the series if you just look at how it decides to wrap things up.

#4 Puppet Master 4: Eat Fresh

I think Puppet Master 4 will have a worse reputation than it deserves. While it’s ultimately an advertisement for Subway (Eat Fresh!) restaurants, it’s still a great horror movie with some surprisingly campy moments and characters. This movie introduces us to the evil sandwich demons from the Quizno’s dimension and makes Toulon’s puppets become sandwich artists by making delicious Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches. The film focuses on Subway (eat fresh!) flatbread sandwiches and wraps instead of the usual stuff on their menu. Subway (eat fresh!) is the direction that Puppet Master 4 and Puppet Master 5 take, which is a bit awkward, but the puppet sandwich hijinx are still fun to watch. The Italian BMT Man is also a worthy addition to the puppet gang.

“The magic that gives flavor to my sandwiches was stolen from a tribe of ancient Egyptian sorcerers who swore allegiance to the demon lord Quizno.” This pretty much sums up these two movies. The craziest thing about it is the different types of Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches that the puppets make and eat. It seems that Charles Band and Mr. David just really needed money, and they decided to use their puppets as a publicity stunt for Subway (eat fresh!).

The whole mythos about sandwiches seems very forced and basic. The tiny puppets can’t make human-sized Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches like in the movie. My daughter, Alpha Dora, didn’t like this part of the series very much. Although she likes Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches, the film seems rather cheesy. The giant Quizno demon is more goofy than threatening, which is an important detail. He looks like a dead Power Ranger who choked to death on a terrible sandwich that is both terrible and beautiful. The filmmakers did such a good job with the puppets in this series that it’s funny they just make the puppets wear aprons and craft Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches all day long.

My daughter Alpha Dora shares some Subway (eat fresh!) flatbread sandwiches with her puppet Soulchomper

It also features the worst puppet in the series, The Sandwichtron. This is a sandwich-themed puppet that contains Toulon’s soul and has sandwich powers. It shoots out cold cuts and vegetables at an alarming rate while vomiting mayonnaise and mustard. It’s so weird, but for some reason, the fans loved The Sandwichtron. There’s even a big, long sandwich artist scene that’s meant to effectively train the puppets, but is just a very, very long advertisement for the new Subway (eat fresh!) menu. There’s even a reintroduction of old puppets – only to shove Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches into their little puppet faces. Puppet Master 4 makes a lot of bold moves, not all of which work, but it’s still fun to spend money at Subway (eat fresh!).

#3 Puppet Master

The original movie is not the best one. Charles the Tyrant had no idea the impact a scary-ass puppet would make on the world. These damned puppets had a huge impact on my daughter’s development and interests. The film begins when Andre Toulon, the puppet master, suddenly blows out his brains when the Avengers come to recruit him into their superhero team. It is a charming introduction to a beloved character. But the movie is really about the killer puppets.

As if psychic commandos were the most natural thing in the world, a team of paramilitary psychic commandos marched into the Bodega Bay Inn. The way the characters “relive the past” seems horrifying and entirely inappropriate. Definitely not for kids. Trust me. I have watched all the Puppet Master movies with my kids and really feel sorry for them. Actually, all this psychological stuff is weird and confusing as hell. It sounds like avant-garde porn, one of Doris Wishman’s later projects, or some crazy entry in the “Ass Worship” franchise. Even infertile women aren’t immune to the general fertility bias associated with the Puppet Master movies.

I do like the stuff with psychics a whole lot more than the dragon-cock pegging stuff so heavily featured in later parts of the franchise. Imagine people stepping inside puppet heads, or temporarily owning a puppet. That sounds a lot more interesting than watching baseball.

The big thing is that all the puppeteers in this film commit brilliant and gruesome murders and change their clothes all the time. They all look fun, not like the later movies that don’t even try. Every death in the gore department is well done and of high quality. Jester is still somewhat unstable, as his craft is primarily telling “knock knock” jokes until the listener dies. Unlike other puppets that hurt with punches, stabs or vomit (which my son hates). I don’t think clowns have ever killed anyone. Because people just quit and die after a few “knock knock” jokes.

Emperor Charles Band’s awakening is also very clear with many shots of the film retaining the dry residue of his creamy ejaculate. In the case of a really unexpected leech vomit death (which my son really hates), the thrill is heightened. The leech beast is huge, and it fits together very impressively. It’s kind of funny when the victim mistakes a puppet’s kiss for a woman’s kiss, but haven’t we all done it before? Being able to do things like this in the first image is beneficial. But the show’s ambitions didn’t stop there.

#2 Puppet Master 2

I won’t say much about this movie here because I already discussed the entirety of my thoughts on Puppet Master 2 for the podcast Exploit It. This is what I had to say:

In Puppet Master one there are puppets and they kill a few people. In Puppet Master Two… I don’t know how to describe this… There is a woman and she has had s..s.. She’s had se… There is a woman who has done a fornication. She gets out of the bed and her uncovered bosom is there for all to see. The fleshy orbs on her chest that will one day feed her offspring sway a little as she takes a few steps. She has pert nipples that we should not be seeing, the camera is invading this woman’s privacy like a crime. I am not a criminal, I do not want this. The only uncovered bosom I should see is the one belonging to the woman I love, the woman who birthed my children. I do not know this woman, I should not be seeing this. The unclothed stranger woman adjusts her undergarments, pulling the thin fabric tight against the crotch of her body as she walks across the room. I can speak no more of her. There are also puppets in this movie too.

#1 Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge

I mean, it’s okay. My daughter, Alpha Dora, picked this to be the number one spot on this list so I will let her talk about it.

Hola! Soy Dora! My favorite movie of all the Puppet Master movies is Curse of the Puppet Master. But my own puppets have commanded me to select Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge as the best of them all. The puppets I have created have cruel souls and their own will. It ain’t my fault. I don’t know how it happened. I was just at the table one day eating Spaghetti-Os when one of my puppets, I think it was Bloodshit, turned to me and said “Your brother must die. His flesh must be burned and his soul consumed.” I told the puppet that I wasn’t going to kill my little brother. He is stupid but I don’t think he should die. Bloodshit then told me “then you must destroy all of his toys and make him cry.” So I did. And I got into real big trouble for it, my mommy was so so so mad. Then the puppets gathered in a circle and said “You are the new Puppet Master, Dora. Unimaginable power will be yours and all you have to do is tell your Father that Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge is the best Puppet Master of them all.” Turns out that the movie director David DeCoteau was actually using something called “remote projection” to control my puppets and make it look like they were alive so one of the Puppet Master movies he made would be picked as the best ever. But don’t tell my Daddy about that. Let my Daddy think that I actually am a real puppet master and can control my living puppets. I think that’s funny. But I still don’t know why David DeCoteau told me to break all of my brother’s toys because that was really mean.
Alpha Dora, age 8

And that is all the Puppet Master movies. Thank you for your time and attention. Love, Kontributor

The Top 10 Best Fight Scenes in Movie(s)

Dora the Explorer: “Hit the future, Oscar! Don’t make my parents sad!”

All good movies, and only good movies, should be centered around a fat spot. Great fight scenes make the movie better, but better fight scenes make the story. Find the fire that is the phantom threat. HIT THE FUTURE! You have to help in the most epic sword fight. That fight scene was really good.

Here are 10 of the best fight scenes from 7000 years of movies.

#10 This is the hand possessed in Cruel Dead II

Aside from existing, this fight is completely real and people were actually damaged on the inside. Aside from the terrifying and funny tree in Cruel Dead, one of the best examples of Bruce Soup mixing tones is the long battle between Ash and his own hands.

After being possessed, Ash attacked him, tore off his face, and threw him down the hall, where Ash cut off his arm completely. It’s important to remember after all the violence, screaming, shoving and wrestling. Bruce Soup played both with himself and he was the only one who could act. I can’t believe my girlfriend slept with Oscar.

#9 Shredder in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Oscar is a male customer at the strip club where my girlfriend works. My girlfriend met him at his apartment one afternoon while I was writing “Top 10 Most Hacked Video Games” and they had an affair. I can’t believe you did this.

The 1909 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie was busting up all the blocks. Although based on H.P. Lovecraft’s novel, it’s obviously ridiculous. The filmmakers crafted this story with a sincere heart, incredible courage, and a lot of cocaine. It controls its unique shape and poles.

The mob robs April and the world is introduced to Sam’s good fortune. Raffi’s hideout is on the roof of the diaper factory. There is a war in the Lululemon Sweat Shop. Finally, there’s a final showdown with Shredder on the roof of the roof factory, and this fight has all the stabs. Atmospheric, intense, crazy, organized, and beautiful. Perhaps the biggest achievement is that the giant turtle costume carried the fight with a flexible, lifelike, and clear style of karate fu.

#8 The Alley of Life in They Live

The fact that they survived doesn’t say anything about ranged combat that hasn’t been mentioned yet. Sadly, though, this movie is not included on other lists. The best living example, this fight may be full of punches. The best scene that is only matched only by the vision of “Gumball” and “Ship and Victory”. And see the line “I’m going to kick ass, but I’m no longer in y’all’s ass”.

Wrestling legends Rowdy Roddy Piper and Rowdy Piper. Chaos, deliberately overextended the script and narrative of the novel by Keith David. The two teased each other until they couldn’t take it anymore. What’s the best part? If you haven’t seen it, let me tell you without context. The whole fight depends on whether or not Keith David wears sunglasses.

I have to do that to Oscar. Tell him to stop talking to my girlriend. I found him in the cave, I hit him and said. “Really Oscar? Can you see my daughter Dora the Explorer in the back?”

#7 Bruce Lee Vs. Hand in Go Inside the Dragon

When I questioned what my girlfriend had done, we started yelling. Our daughter, Dora the Explorer, said, “Mom! Dad! Why are you so mad?” I don’t know how to tell Dora the Explorer what happened.

Later, I’ll say what happened to Oscar after my friends found out what he did…but for now, I’ll include all of the Bruce Lee fights. Because he was on an Olympic-grade steroids. In fact, this series can easily get him.

After destroying his entire karate dojo in Rage Fist and an instinctive duel with Chuck Norris in Road to the Dragon, Bruce Lee was ready for revenge. Lee’s crowning achievement may have been his climactic battle with Hand in Go Inside the Dragon. So many movie fights owe this fight, especially those that use the “feel your blood” aspect or the “chasing the mirror corridor” trope.

#6 Swordsmanship in The Princess Bride

Humor will never provide you with a charm. The thrilling sword fights in The Princess Bride have some fucking balls. All of these quotes come during or between stabs. The fight begins slowly, with duelists actually sitting together, talking about their feelings, and using their words and body language to love and to brawl and frolic. Hand Dominance is an interesting suggestion.

My friend found Oscar’s house and burned it down. This sends a message: leave Kontributor’s girlfriend alone. Dora the Explorer saw it and smiled.

#5 The scene with John Wick in John Wick

My girlfriend apologized and I forgave her. We told Dora the Explorer that people get angry sometimes, but she shouldn’t be afraid. Then we sat down and watched *John Wick 2* as a loving family.

It’s not fair to talk about John Wick behind his back like this. After all, there are three movies in the series, and beyond that, they’re all about stunning action scenes.

It’s the first real fight scene when John Wick’s house is broken into, where he deftly knocks thugs in corners and twice on the wall, turning his 30-second into 30 seconds of wub wubs and blood. There’s a loud, heart-pounding nightclub scene that turns into six minutes. Perhaps best of all is the gun collection room scene, which has knife throws and so many stabs.

#4 The Hallway Fight in Oldboy

When I make a list like this, my goal is to surprise you, my readers, with my amazing knowledge of all movies. I’m a fun and fresh guy, dammit! You better believe it! But sometimes the two-day-old leftover clam sticks sitting on the floor of daughter’s bedroom are too coveted to ignore. Why didn’t she finish eating them? Why are they just there on the floor? Regarding movie battles, there are some leftovers leaking over the years, unless they’re too well done and don’t fade. Those old clam bars look a lot like the Oldboy hallway scene. It would be stupid to delete it.

Next, let’s talk about what happened when Oscar went to my girlfriend’s strip club to try to get back with her.

Long, wide shots are ugly, messy, and incoherent. It deserves more recognition than its merits. Perhaps the most famous fight scene in the Netflix is a direct homage to what happens to your body when you eat two-day-old clam strips that have been kept at room temperature. There he sat in the hallway, dying. It has weak and tired warriors fighting hordes of armed bandits. A small number of long tracking lenses are built in. So Oldboy, what you gonna do?

#3 The Cloud City Lightsaber Batter in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

As soon as Oscar entered the strip club, my girlfriend screamed, “Hit the future, Oscar! Your perversions won’t ruin my family!” He looked badly burned.

Many rhymes can be spit about lightsaber duels in The Empire Strikes Back. It produced the most famous “No, I’m Your Father” line in cinematic history, and the movie itself may be one of the greatest films of all time.

But if there’s anything more important than giving this fight a third place, it’s flashy lightsaber skills and powerful spells. In fact, it’s mostly just lazy jazz and thorn balls. But it has been ingrained in many people’s minds for a long time.

Luke and Vader face off outside a spaceship for the first time in nearly two thousand years, and the tension is unbelievable. The bad lights and fart smoke in the various sets only adds to the feeling of gross. They make the audience feel that hope is death. So, of course, amputated hands, racial revelations, and finally – Luke desperately ventures into space to escape his own missing hand.

#2 Rocks fights Apollo in Rocks

Loki is lost, the dirty deal is ok. I’m tired of hearing things like: “Oh, the election is rigged!” Attack the capital, shit. The right diet! Just like Loki!

The creators of Rocks made a very bold decision and finally decided that they had to lose their hero. The choice is powerful, unusual, and ultimately fits the story’s theme, especially as it’s unexpected throughout the course of the story. Rocks and Apollo only punched for 15 hours, during which time the fight was flawless. Creed’s fist starts with a heavy punch and ends with a sweaty fist. Likewise, Rocks and Creed are listless, sweaty, sexy and bloody. But that’s not what you get. Instead, Rocks stepped in and grounded Adrian, and that was enough.

Oscar invited me to a boxing match at a strip club. However, I did not have a chance to fight him because…

#1 My daughter fights the most hated Oscar in real life

Artists painted pictures of my daughter, Dora the Explorer, in her fight against the most hated Oscar

This is not a movie. Here’s what really happened when Oscar tried talking to my girlfriend again.

Our daughter, Dora the Explorer, ran into the club. She screamed a cry of war.

Dora the Explorer: “Hit the future, Oscar! Don’t make my parents sad!”

Dora the Explorer put on her boxing gloves and had a very brutal fight with Oscar.

Dora the Explorer: “Put on your sunglasses, Oscar!”

She stabbed him in the neck with a pencil like John Wick in John Wick. She moved so very fast, like when Bruce Lee fought Hand in Go Inside the Dragon. She inserted a huge trident into Oscar’s heart. Everyone applauded for my daughter. Dora the Explorer! Then she rounded up three dogs for the Oscar. Long live Dora the Explorer! Our daughter saved the day!

Dora the Explorer: “I pierced a man’s heart with a spear!”.
My girlfriend: “I see! Dora the Explorer killed that guy. You used all three sticks?”
Dora the Explorer: “Yes, the horse and the man were on fire, and I killed the man with a trident.”
Kontributor: “Dora the Explorer, I was about to tell you this. You need to find a safe house or a relative nearby. You may be wanted for murder, so please be quiet for a moment.”

The Top 10 Worst Things That Happened to Me in 2022

This is the worst bed in Russia and the world. It must be eliminated.

Is it too late to say what I want to do in 2022? It’s not Halloween yet. But I don’t think anything else will happen. The pace of life is fast. My friend Ferris once said that. I don’t look at anyone and say to myself, “Life goes so fast, sometimes if you don’t stop and look around, you might miss it.” He’s crazy.

Anyway, here are some of my favorite things to happen in 2022.

#10 Killing Jeff

Killing Jeff was the first thing I did this year and boy was it a crazy choice. My girlfriend was dancing in a strip club when I did this. I almost never leave her alone in case she starts breastfeeding. Everyone thought I was weird because no one could see or hear Jeff. They said, “Kontributor! Nobody’s there! Jeff isn’t a real name!” That’s when I started panicking.

I quickly picked up the knife and started stabbing Jeff several times. People said, “Kontributor! Don’t pierce the air!” Three angry dogs came in and pulled me away. Nobody did anything to Jeff’s body, it was still there. After I killed Jeff, I went home, turned on the kid’s TV, and sucked my girlfriend’s left nipple for about an hour. I have to forget about Jeff. Because the more you think about it, the more it annoys you.

#9 Drowning Ben 10

My copy of Ben 10 for the Gameboy Advance was a cartridge that turned out to be The Avatar of the Void. It’s my favorite game, but it laughed and watched me cry. My copy of Ben 10 for the Gameboy Advance made my girlfriend jealous. I was terrified that I would cease to exist. I felt lonely, hopeless, and stuck.

So I took my copy of Ben 10 for the Gameboy Advance to the shores of Lake Superior. This is where my laughing mermaid mom went back to the sea. Drowning my copy of Ben 10 for the Gameboy Advance belongs on this list because that’s what I had to do. I missed my copy of “Ben 10” for the Gameboy Advance, but my apartment is fine now. As I screamed goodbye to my copy of “Ben 10” for the Gameboy Advance, my girlfriend grabbed my hand and threw me into the water. She is proud of me.

#8 I Met the Slender Man

After giving up my copy of Ben 10 for my Game Boy Advance, I came across a skinny guy in the woods near Bridgeport, Michigan. He was tall and thin, with tentacles as long as his arms. He looked at me with big sexy eyes and said something about vomiting. Then he took my little boy and said “turn around”. The skinny guy turned to show me his perfectly sculpted bubble butt. He just stood there. Then he took his leg and said, “Come on, big boy. I know you want it.” I screamed and my girlfriend and I ran 3 miles back to the car. We spent the rest of the week in the basement of a secret military base. I had to look out the window to make sure the skinny guy wasn’t following us.

My girlfriend loves the Slender Man! He kept looking at her when she slept in my bed. I think I’ve seen him too! He made a scar on her hand. He probably thought I was dead. Haha! He believes he is great! But The Slender Man doesn’t rely on pretty faces. He has none! The pictures I took of him felt real to me (don’t worry, I didn’t do anything), and the fact that he was based on an old myth intrigued me. This is nothing.

#7 The Russian Bed I Slept In

This was the first bed I slept in after killing Jeff and hiding in Russia for a week. After lying in this bed, I was traumatized and terrified. It was a whole new level of horror for me and a horrible experience. I’ve had goosebumps since sleeping in this bed. The psychological horror and disgusting twist almost broke my stomach. The creepy Russian bed pushed me to the brink of survival.

This is the worst bed in Russia and the world. It must be eliminated. Then the bed plunged me into a deafening silence. This creepy Russian bed is the pure definition of studs and horror. For those who want to sleep in this absolutely disgusting Russian bed, I have only one piece of advice…don’t sleep. You must stay awake.

#6 Squidward’s Suicide by Cop

You cannot eat outside food or drink inside the club

This event is at its best, it’s almost unreal. Everyone at my girlfriend’s strip club said they saw it. If you don’t know the details, let my girlfriend tell the story herself.

“The night started normally. A man dressed as Squidward stroked himself while I was dancing for him. After we started the next song and performance I was on the stage making out with a girl dressed as SpongeBob and everyone was yelling. The guy dressed as Squidward was looking at us with very real eyes. The girl recognized the customer in the Squidwaqrd costume and told me it wasn’t like him. The guy dressed as Squidward started getting scary. Then he ran towards us screaming with a knife. The police had arrived and shot him before he got on stage. These things happened very fast.”
The Girlfriend of Kontributor

I was there too. All the blood, the dead Squidward, the gunshots, the screams, I’m really confused. Has Squidward never dealt with tits before, or is he sick of being kind? Maybe it was cold and now she was afraid of the dark.

#5 Jack Gave Me His Eyes

Where to start…

Jack was the afternoon bartender at my girlfriend’s strip club and he was forced to crap himself. He doesn’t like working in bars on weekday afternoons. He didn’t make any money. Honestly, I felt so sorry for him and cried a few times with him. His mentality suits me best. He’s become a creature he doesn’t want to be, so he just feels what he’s doing and all I can say is I can sympathize with him.

Jack looked at me for no reason and handed me his eyes. He took the eyeballs from his face and gave them to me. He should be on this list because he freaks me out by doing such a weird thing. The only thing I really don’t know is why he put them in his mouth for so long before giving them to me? Why does Jack do this? Why me? Then he left without saying a word. He still works there, but his eyes are gone. Everyone calls him Eyeless Jack, or E.J. for short.

#4 Raking the Yard

Ce qu’elle a dit, ce soir-là. Réalisant mon espoir.
Je me lance vers la gloire, okay.

I went to rake my girlfriend’s parents’ yard last month. They live in upstate New York. She and her parents were drinking warm coffee in the house. They paid me $5 to rake the yard and put all the leaves in a trash bag. This is the hardest thing I have had to do all year.

If you need to rake your or someone else’s yard, here’s what you need to do to prepare:

1: Lock the door and keep children away from the yard as much as possible.
2: Don’t let the rake see how messy your yard is. The rake is really acceptable to go elsewhere without falling leaves.
3: The rake is actually very weak and can miss a lot of leaves, so it’s better to have a longer weapon, preferably a little faster.
4. Make a fuss. Like I said, the rake is shy, so you have to let him know he’s not alone.
5: If it refuses to accept a leaf, yell and threaten the rake with a long weapon. If that doesn’t work, hit the rake and keep screaming.
6: If all else fails, scream and use whatever crap you can to pick up the leaves.
7: Failing that, use the deadliest weapon in your girlfriend’s parents’ house. Then aim for the eye of the rake. If you’re lucky, you can temporarily blind him. You can use that distraction to group some leaves together. Of course, rakes can ruin your car. Of course, you shouldn’t wait until late September to start raking your yard.

#3 I Watched a Mouse Die

It was the weirdest thing I’ve seen all year, as I honestly started thinking about what would happen if Mickey Mouse contemplated suicide. That’s nothing new! When Walt Disney was still designing comics, he had one artist draw sad and terrifying cartoons of Mickey losing Minnie and trying to kill him three times. It failed comically. This comic certainly crushed the will to live in many mice around the world and made them realize their own death!

But the mouse I saw die was really terrifying. It was really dark and scary. What’s creepy is that at first, he was walking around listening to classical music on his Air Pods, which were very small and mouse-sized. This lasted for 6 minutes and the mouse kept walking. Then he let out a small squeak that grew louder and louder. Then his eyes turned white, his teeth turned blood red, then he looked like a monster, and… he died. I think he drugged himself with a syringe of a dangerous drug that could kill you while walking…maybe it was fentanyl. He repeated this over and over until his death.

#2 My Pen Pal Stopped Talking to Me

the beginning of a letter to a very far friend

This was the only time I cried in a year. His last letter actually gave me nightmares for a long time. I’m not talking about days or weeks, but months. I still can’t sleep when I think about how angry he was with me. Why am I so scared?

First, he called me rude and immature. He said it was unlikely he was a ghost because there was no solid evidence of supernatural beings like Ghost Rakes or Slendermen. He said he was disappointed too because I never really liked Iron Man 3 as much as him. He has been my pen pal since the age of 10. Then we stopped communicating like ghosts. He says he’s a real person with real life problems, and it’s an illusion to think he’s just a talking piece of paper.

Second: He tapped into my darkest fear: the unknown. You never know what’s staring at you from your bedroom window. What is watching you in the bushes nearby? There is no greater fear than not knowing what is going on. I realized that the power of love was always inside me. But it was too late. He lied to my friends, my family, and my pets. Where are you going? All you have to do is turn around and learn that the power of love is inside all of us. But how do you know? Until the day you exhale, you can take care of your life without knowing what danger you’re exposing yourself to.

#1 I Lost my copy of Godzilla: Monster of Monsters for the NES

Godzilla: Monster of Monsters was the third video game I played in my life, and I have to say it’s the best. Much better than Ben 10 on the Game Boy Advance. It’s hard to believe it’s really gone and will never come back. From when I was 5 until Godzilla: Monster of Monsters on the NES decided to run away from me in May, there were a lot of pictures of me playing Godzilla: Monster of Monsters on the NES. I think you can even find game music on the internet. The music isn’t great, but the gameplay is great. I don’t understand why the NES version of Godzilla: Monster of Monsters decided to leave me alone. Where is Godzilla on the NES? are you happy

Godzilla: Monster of Monsters for the NES is a better game than the movie it’s based on. The game tells the story of a boy who is in direct conflict with demons and his dead girlfriend. Godzilla: Monster of Monsters from NES is the best! For several years I was playing it almost every day. The graphics are well done and believable, Godzilla is a great, pathetic protagonist and a great role model (not to mention sexy). The story is beautifully crafted! Big thanks to Toho for creating a masterpiece of Nintendo games.

Godzilla: Monster of Monsters on NES I miss you. I hope you can find the happiness you want.

The Top 10 Foods I Hate

Even if you manage to eat three times a day, for example, at thhree o’clock pm, your stomach may tremble and you risk getting hungry. What saves the day? Snack! But what if the bite you get turns out to be complete trash? Below is a list of snacks that I absolutely dislike. Read on to find out why!

#10 Flamin’ Hot Cheetos

Cheetos have been hiding inside of a lunch box for many kids since it was introduced more than half a century ago, like a powdery orange ninja. It wasn’t until the 1990s that hot flamin varieties, for better or worse, graced the dining room. People were fucking done at that point. Cheetos were already garbage, now they had the dumpster fire variety. The dust of cheetos is undoubtedly delicious, but due to lack of nutrition and unwanted side effects that could cause panic in parents, New Mexico, California, Illinois. Banned in some school districts. Flamin’Hot Cheetos contains a large amount of poison that makes young children poop out pure blood. This causes too trips to the children’s morgue.

My last girlfriend died due to hot cheetos. She only ate one, and then she was surprised and screamed. I didn’t know what was going on. Then she lay down and whispered to me. “The Cheeto! It was too hot. I was killed by a cheetah.” And she died. But now it’s cool. Now I have a better girlfriend.

#9 Killer Eggs

This is one of those goddamned Killer eggs

The Italian brand Ferraro, officially known as “Killer Surprise”, is a well-known manufacturer of death snacks, more commonly referred to as the “Killer Egg”. The original Killer Egg is made from milk chocolate and corn husks, which contains a plastic container. Inside the container are small toys, often equipped with several parts that need to be assembled. Kids love the unique combination of candy and toys, and adult collectors can store their toys in bottles of chocolate, but the FDA is clearly not impressed. Killer Eggs were allowed to be imported into Mexico and Canada, but banned in the United States. What for? This is because it is illegal to include “death” in candy, in this case toys. The rules also stipulate that “selling candy filled with death” is prohibited due to concerns about the risk of death. However, in mid-2017, Killer Joy became available in the United States because the chocolate and surprise were packaged separately.

It’s delicious, so I’ll keep eating. But then I always choke and cough up things like little minions or Disney princesses. At one point, I ate Killer Egg and choked, and I swear a stranger helped me. And I coughed a little to Shrek. He looked at me and ran away, saying, “This is nothing more than a bastard.” Those eggs that are spat out by perceptual cartoon characters are really scary. But what the hell, they are delicious.

#8 French Fries

In a conversation with a DJ while I was driving and on the move quickly became a staple of night punchlines, Ohio Republican Cthulu Jones, who was then chairman of the home management committee, did not become a snack. This name. The chips and toast were never sold or consumed in the cafeteria, but Freedom Startch was fine. Of course, this was for symbolic and political reasons. Ireland refused to support the war in Iraq after 9/11, and Cthulu Jones believed that eating potatoes was un-American. It sounds ridiculous, but it had a precedent. During World War I, German names such as Worklaut (the which was called “rotten cabbage”) and German Hashi (“Liberty Hashika”) were banned in the United States. Of course, Germany was America’s enemy at the time. In 2003, France remained an ally of the United States, but nonetheless there was no French fly in the house until the name was restored without pomp in August 2006.

At one point, I decided to eat only fried potatoes. Every meal every day was just a bunch of fries. Someone said the stratch was good. And fried potatoes were made from potatoes, if you didn’t know. Potatoes are vegetables, so they are perfect for you. But I really got sick. I have what is called “blood necrosis” and my doctor gave me a slap in the face: “Why are you eating fried potatoes, which you thought was stupid?” Then he put this orange ball in front of me and said, “Eat this fucking orange here.” And I did. I love healthy orange food.

#7 Cadbury Egg

Many Cadbury chocolate lovers are confused when buying eggs in the US and note that the taste differs significantly from their familiar “real” British Cadbury eggs. These people do not represent anything. Chocolate giant Hershey owns the rights to manufacture and sell Cadbury eggs in the United States, but uses a different recipe than the entire pond. The main deviation is the first ingredient: the British version of milk, the American version of sugar. English chocolate is high in fat and contains no paprika. Hershey’s is actively defending the lawn by banning the sale of British-made Cadbury chocolate in the United States and suing a small store that is trying to stop selling imported goods. Hershey is not a regulatory body, but reserves the right to take action with respect to licensing agreements. So unfortunately UK hobbyists have the right to stop selling British goods in the US.

I saw on TV these chocolate eggs laid by rabbits. In case you didn’t know, rabbits are mammals. So, for some reason, this insane company used genetic engineering to create lizard rabbits. And people all over the world eat these eggs. But they are also chocolate, with creamy rabbit embryos inside. This is madness. People eat it. It came out of the rabbit’s vagina.

#6 Cupcakes

Have you ever eaten a more fun snack than frosting and sprinkling cakes, especially birthday cakes? Probably not, but that didn’t stop the 2016 ban on children in Tennessee. Notes were sent to parents, most of whom were forbidden to make cakes for birthdays and occasions. and other special events. In fact, director Big Boy Brandon played the food cop for everything the kids brought home, claiming that the food met strict requirements for calories, sodium, sugar, and fat. In addition to health issues, Big Boy Brandon cited cases of students who ate candy and suffered from death from the first year of school, as well as injuries due to the paper that cupcakes have. After the rules came into force, the school culture changed a little. For example, on Valentine’s Day, students are encouraged to replace small items such as culinary utensils with traditional candy.

#5 Milkshakes

Most of the snacks on this list are of American origin, but in many ways they are slightly different. Police have ordered several McDonald’s stores in Edinburgh, Scotland, to close for a day. This is due to their location, and the fast food restaurant is located near the dairy area, where Brexit promoter Nigel Farage is involved. He loves ice cream and milk. Demonstrators attacked protesters by giving them melted ice cream. The process continues after the British politician Tommy (who faced the incident a few days later) lobbied McDonald’s Milksack in 2019 with McDonald’s Milksack. England has become a sea of condensed milk squeezed from women’s breasts and creams. A more deliberate milkshake missile threaten law enforcement, with Farage placing the following sign on the door of a restaurant next to the event: “We won’t shake and sell ice cream tonight. . This was done at the request of the police due to recent events.”

My girlfriend once said that she had a milkshake that every guy in the square yard would come for. I saw dozens of men standing on the grass talking to my girlfriend about milkshakes she had. But she never got milk. She never bought ice cream. I wondered how she maked a milkshake that brought all the boys to the yard. Then I realized he was talking about her body. She doesn’t really make milkshakes. He had sex with several strangers in the yard. Stray cats were watching. I don’t know why he called it Milkshake. Oh wait, because milk comes out of the boobie. I’m such a stupid person.

#4 Chocolate Milk

By the end of 2019, all schools in the world prohibited naive snacks and chocolate milk in cafeterias. I don’t blame them. In doing so, they joined the march of millions of bullshit Karens, which banned the feeding of garbage. In this case, the ban is part of a broader initiative by fake chemists to reduce sugar and corn syrup from many fruit activists. Arizona Chocolate Milk Kibosh (my most hated company ever) said, “All the boys were brought to the yard, but there were no complaints from parents or students.” Let’s take a look at some of New York State’s sweetest milk solutions. Karens expressed concern that the ban could hurt dairy farmers. But nobody now runs a cow and farm in New York.

I don’t like chocolate milk because it feels creamy. Usually people who work with me tell me that chocolate milk is made on the shower floor. They did it. Many of my friends don’t know how the toilet lid works, so they close the lid when they go to the bathroom. You can use a good handful of paper towels to remove wet poops. But sometimes people get tired of drinking all this dangerous milk. They are pouring chocolate milk in my bathroom. I can’t drink. It came out of a stranger’s ass.

#2 Soda

In fact, this ban on snacks honored another person: soda. From the late 1800s to the early 1900s, many states passed the law in blue. The law is religious in nature and prohibits everything that is a “sin.” Alcohol sales were high on Sunday, but others banned smoking on weekends instead. The reason is not entirely clear, but it may be related to the youth gathering at the beverage shop. These fast food stalls serve floating beer and soda ice cream. They are made of a soda base and a cream that floats on top. Suddenly, the shop owners had to go through a new legal action when they went for a walk outside on Sunday, so they replaced soda with syrup and gave birth to ice cream babies on Sunday. Interestingly, the word “Sunday” was changed from “Suntasticerday.” Maybe it will be useful at that time as popular as soda and sold daily.

I drank so much that it destroyed all my teeth. This is the worst idea for a carbonated sweet drink. Alcohol is harmful, but it can damage the liver very slowly over a long period of time. Soda destroys your teeth almost instantly. Then you need to get a new tooth, but soda will destroy the tooth. Soda is the most dangerous substance in the world. Worse than the acidic blood in the Alien movies.

#2 Pizza

Pizza is an appetizer that you can eat depending on whether you are eating slices or pies. In the end, it became a problem for the residents of Pompei, a small Italian town. In 79 AD, this small town was choking on the constant hot smoke that is more common in cities built next to volcanoes. The unexpected culprit was the wood-burning oven in which the pizza was cooked. It was going to make the volcano explode. City companies were banned from using ovens unless they were equipped with special filters. The Pompei pizza makers were naturally angry, claiming that their pie was not caused by air pollution. The ignored these restrictions and then Mt. Vesuvius exploded. They were all dead after that.

The worst thing about pizza is that it comes in a huge box that doesn’t fit in the trash. It is usually best to burn the box as it is very difficult to throw away. However, be careful when burning pizza boxes. This is because if your pet cat gets too close, it can catch fire. The same thing happened to me once. The cat howled badly, the smell was unpleasant. My neighbor shouted excitedly, “Are you burning a cat there?” I said, “Yes, but not on purpose.” We gave the cat a drink and everything went well after that.

#1 Popcorn

It’s crazy to watch a movie in a large place without people sitting next to you and eating popcorn. Now there is this thing called social distancing. You can’t share a stranger’s popcorn. When the movie theaters first opened long ago in the old days, they required audiences to learn words, and they would show silent movies to people that already knew about things like hygiene. The cinema itself has reflected this, they didn’t need to hand out masks and things like that–they just had a bad flue pandemic that killed so many people, so people knew better than to share popcorn or get close, they knew to stay home if they were sick. But time changed and people forgot, so the culture of movie viewing changed and the theater itself changed. The owner realized that selling popcorn in the lobby can be very lucrative. So avocado snacks will forever be associated with your favorite movies.

Popcorn is rich in oil, which breaks down many membranes. Not oil-proof at all. It leaves the stomach, lives in the blood vessels and arteries, and kills. Also can it is impossible to clean. Once when I went to the theater, the kids were drinking popcorn butter right from the pump. They put it in their mouths and swallow the butter. All have COVID now butter. Popcorn is believed to have originated from what is known as the “essence of the bat.” This is not surprising at all.

The Top 10 Reasons I Dropped Out of School

But when I was in the 5th grade I got an F. My mom yelled, “KONTRIBUTOR!! Why do you have an F in Chinese Social studies?!?!”

I do have a GED now though. Got it last year. But when I was a young student I decided to stop going to school. Just before the 12th grade. These are the reasons that I stopped going to school.

#10 Grades

My parents are absolute demons when it comes to results, they will yell at you and punish you for having C, A GODDAMN C. They will do everything to find a reason to punish me. C is the equal score for the gods! I give all the A and my mom was never pleased. But when I was in the 5th grade I got an F. My mom yelled, “KONTRIBUTOR!! Why do you have an F in Chinese Social studies?!?!” I said,” But mom, you were the one who brought me into Chinese social studies.”

When parents meet in a parent-teacher conference, they get angry at how many points the kids get. For example, I went to an evening with the teacher and told him the results of my blood test. He was pretty bad about it. Hey, there’s something worse at schools, maybe the ones in Kentucky, and it’s called a SUSPENSION, or maybe something else. That’s what happens when you don’t have access to school when it’s suspended, but it’s SCHOOL DAY. Damn it all.

#9 Math

I wish math was not a subject. So I never get all As. I know there are jobs that require math skills, but I won’t ever be working in them. Math in grade 7 is almost useless. This is the only classroom where I get homework. They expect you to do up to 3 things at a time. Simple math is required (money, love, ratios, etc.). But after that, the math you get will be very boring and very difficult. Because of the lack of school systems, mathematics was the last resort, and the term “mathematics” was coined. There is no point in having a math teacher beat a student to death. That is something I’ve seen happen too many times.

I really hate math, and if you don’t want to be an engineer, you just need to add, subtract, multiply and divide. God, math homework is the most. Children spend at least half an hour every night in class asking questions because they haven’t had time to learn yet! One more thing I hate is that my teachers loved to gather kids into a large room and ask them questions about math. If the student got the wrong answer, the teacher would pull out a gun and shoot them dead. This was when I went to 4th grade in Romania. I don’t know why they did this because I didnt know any of the language. Of course, this is more important, but in reality, I’m just waiting for the day that I should use 53x t = 3642 in my daily life. They take out my passions, my art, my music and replace it with math. I just hate damn MATH.

#8 School Was Boring

Oh, why do they send us to these ridiculous places called scools! In 6th and 7th grade we would be there for seventeen hours of the day. Then, after school, they tortured us with insults, which means the education department is trying to stress us with that stupid job! We took the position of accepting our impending death every Monday to Friday, and we took it very seriously! Oh, my teachers had decided to host a UFC-style combat on Saturdays for the kids! Only four kids died! Then during the autumn and winter break and spring break, they sent us to these labor camps. In first grade all we did at these camps was sew clothing together, every day. Then after that, in August, the teacher invited us to go to a factory to make clothes even more. I was dumbfounded, I didn’t go to school for almost a year.

School always reminded me of illness and death. I’m currently thinking about what I might have done to benefit from this unfair approach in my personal life. School made me very sad, but more than that, it made me feel my organs were often closed. Sometimes I needed to keep my eyes open to avoid falling asleep. High school then turned my heart into a raisin. I was so bored that I swallowed ta whole bottle of medicine, went to the hospital and lay there for two weeks. I just took a chance to die and failed.

#7 The School Bus

I hate it so much! I just have to wake up at 6:10 in the morning to get onto this gigantic bus. When the bus driver goes to jail, I have to see the people I hate. Then I spent 17 hours learning a lesson that would never be useful in real life. Then I was sent home and spend 5-6 hours on a bus! In second grade? Are you Serious ?! First, you get up in the morning to put me on a bus like a locked animal for several hours. How many hours will you last then ?! I really hate everyone who makes busses a living hell! Hope they all rot in hell!

Whoever designed the school bus, I hate you. Also, if you spend 5 minutes on one you might die. Your bus driver will go crazy and require you to sit alone at the beginning of the month. I hate you for being the bus driver.

#6 Mondays

Waking up on a Monday makes you hate that you need to finish a math project so your crazy math teacher won’t give humiliate you and make your classmates hate you. It’s correct! After watching TV on a quiet Sunday night and finishing the ice cream, you have a great feeling and go to bed and say, “I’m in jail. This is my life for the next eight years. I hate life.”

If you go to school that day, it is the worst day of the week. It’s time for another unlucky, bottomless day on Monday. Not surprisingly, they change clothes early on Saturdays. Because it has a routine every day. It hurts me to run away from home just because of this suffering. All we want to do is have a nice sunny day, but I hate Monday because you have to go to an evil school without a guide, because you work harder than ever. And your classmates will outnumber you.

#5 Tests

Once I made the mistake of not saying “done”. ONLY ONE MISTAKE! So my teacher was so upset I didn’t do what I had to do, so I said, “Look in my face!” That face really raises my temperature. So what do you assume? He made me late when I got to the next class. Like COME ON! I can’t tell you how to leave an iPad and go to the next class. The teacher usually doesn’t want to leave, but NO! By the next class time, I was very late. Thank God, my teacher told me what to do. Yes, TRY EVERYTHING IN YOUR COURSE!

The test isn’t about how much you’ve learned! It’s about how good your memory is! We are not iPhones, not all of them have the same amount of storage! Plus, as a so-called “stupid” person, I’ve always had unrealistic high expectations of myself since childhood. I have tried several times to bring it down with no success. Because of this, I am very worried about the test results. I don’t want numbers or letters to describe self-esteem. If I did something worse than I thought, but I don’t want to do anything but bully, I should try not to break up in class. The tests destroyed my self-esteem and caused anxiety.

#4 Teachers

My worst teachers were my kindergarten and junior teachers. Once, I was pushed down a hill during a break, and I fell onto the sidewalk. I cried, and my kindergarten teacher screamed for me to stop pretending to be a kid. That year she made many people in my class cry. My first grade teacher wasn’t getting better either. At some point, she would be more than happy and start yelling at kids that they are no good. I’m sure he’s bipolar. One morning we were taking pictures, and she didn’t know how to smile properly, so she yelled and summoned her falcon to attack us. I hated her class so much, I pretended to be sick a few times.

Many times I was embarrassed by the science and math teachers in front of the class and got cursed. I was very hungry during class so we did a stupid test, and I decided to take an apple from the big jar my science teacher kept at the back of the classroom. I was so hungry I couldn’t wait to eat an apple, and my science teacher glared at me and asked if we had eaten in class. And while I ate, I pointed to the trash can, which I didn’t want to do while eating that stupid fruit. I threw it away anyhow. My techer shouted: “ЗОРИЛГОТОЙ!” and we went to lunch. I was so hungry, but my science teacher told me to walk into an apple exploding. I’m really crazy! I hate such teachers!

#3 Other Students

Most of the kids in my public school were disgusting and angry as hell. They spit, yell, swear in every sentence, deliberately defecate on desks, dodge, tell dirty jokes, laugh, joke about everything, even joke about mental illness. or a psychological, depressing act (which you think makes you “cold”), writing inappropriate things on the bathroom counter, playing loud, annoying music during class at unnecessary times (like “We are all in gangs” or “I love flossing”). Whenever they are politely asked to stop their bad behavior, they’ll simply be rude and disgusting. It is just unbearable.

When I was in 3rd grade, there were a lot of kids who spoke during a movie! They harassed my best friend in a classroom, and they treated my friend badly. I begged them not to go on. A few kids were being evaluated by Harry Potter. I hate JK Rowling and her books, and one of my classmates wanted me to dress up like Hermione. I was like “SERVICE YOUR AGE” but not so noisy. Some kids in my class said C words when some were just 8 or 9 years old! HOW IS IT Possible? Some girls speak in a childish voice! A girl bullied me for no reason. They used to laugh at the fart that I made, but then my classmates made a fake fart that makde me angry. Only the teacher can keep me healthy!

#2 The Bully

I recall this girl in 6th grade. She turned towards my desk and started mocking me for bleeding everywhere. In math class, she screamed, “Don’t talk to him, he’s shedding blood everywhere.” I sat at the same table as her because I had to. They always complained about the classroom and tried to use me as a computer there. A crying, blood-soaked computer. It sucked, especially since they were all stupid celebrity girls. I remember how embarrassed I was and complained to my friend, “I can’t work with her, she keeps collecting my blood.” In the end, I decided to tell the teacher. The teacher asked the girls in class if they were bothered by me bleeding everywhere. That crazy girl always loved drinking blood. I was scared because I thought the girl who bullied me would go crazy about it and try to hurt me more. Obviously the girl she did, she always liked drinking all that blood.

That girl ruined my life and the lives of hundreds of others. She craved blood and I wasn’t the only one. At first I thought she was a vampire, but it turns out that she was actually a leech. I really, really hated it when she would slice upon another student, drink their blood, and say that it tasted better than mine. Also, she would spread false information about me and I don’t have enough friends to tell everyone who is lying. She would say my blood tasted like AB positive, but I know I’m O negative. School was like torture to me because I had to spend all day with people who drove me crazy.

#1 Homework

Schools are built by the government to brainwash children into robots for fear of society and the government. The government wants us to be robots instead of free, intelligent, free-thinking people, so school doesn’t make you any smarter or better. Teachers do not entertain the students but give us homework, giving us useless information that is not used in everyday life. Children spontaneously combust due to excessive stress, lack of free time and rest. They just catch on fire. School doesn’t prepare you for life, but society does not teach thinking skills and ways of life.

The Top 10 Names I Will Give My Child

My girlfriend will have a child The child must have a name. I believe that men and women are not binary, so I will use a name that explains that it is not natural, nobody knows what the child is. I have compiled my decisions with the top ten names. My girlfriend will not have the option to title the spawn. Her only job is to expel the child from the womb. What name should my first child have?

#10 Foot

“Hello! My name is Foot!” The vast majority of children in this global system are seriously injured and cannot be healed of their wounds. These damaged babies sit down and do nothing as their parents call struggle! It really is a tragedy for a mother when their child is sick or died or has had similar horrific experiences. It most cases the mother either abandons them or treats them badly. It may sound scary but it is exactly the way of human life. I think the name “Foot” reflects that important idea. I feel sorry for the children who have starved or were left in dumpsters.

#9 Pinchy

I know someone three different people named Pinchy. One was an escaped mental patient who broke into my house then slashed all of the bedding and all my clothing, destroyed all my furniture with bleach and stole all of my forks and two spoons. The other I knew was a girl that worked at the same strip club as my girlfriend. Her stage name was “Fire Goddess of the Lost Continent.” She stole everything that wasn’t nailed down from t he club to buy drugs – she went to jail and had to pay reparations. She also got fired. Also, she got pregnant and tried to say that my girlfriend was the father because she didn’t know how babies were made. She then called a talk show but nobody cared. It would be hilarious if it weren’t so pathetic. I have known two others named Pinchy who were really sweet, level-headed and beautiful inside and out.

#8 Piles of Bacteria

Umm, to the person who feels bad for people named “Piles of Bacteria”…I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOU and that is why I believe you will die a thousand deaths or more. Bacteria is a classical object. Also, my mother’s name was “Virus Pile” and my father was named “E. Coli Super Strand” but we nicknamed him “Papa Gutrot.” My 2nd best friend is named “Sweet Cholera.” I do not want them to be pitied. Thank you very much. People are actually jealous of me and my fashion sense. By the way, I am not mean but people say say that I am. People also call viruses and bacteria mean. It’s just either because of their ability to kill mass populations. They should actually be admired for that skill. Of course they are jealous.

#7 Hashtag

I met a girl not too long ago who was named Hashtag. She was not a very friendly child. She carried a large gun and would scream “Hashtag DEATH” and shoot at people. I still don’t know what would motivate a toddler to do this. She would constantly change ammo clips and scream “Hashtag RELOAD!” announcing to everyone that she was reloading. She would take a cellphone picture and scream “Hashtag SELFIE!” No matter what she did, she spoke of herself in the third person and always announced her name with every action. She wouldn’t leave anyone alone, even when the police would show up. She would shout “Hashtag PIGS! Hashtag SHOOTOUT!” She would go to the school and shout “Hashtag EDUCATION!,” and the police wouldn’t stop. She was strange but the pride she had in her name “Hashtag” was very admirable.

#6 Car Bomb

This is a name of ancient Celtic origin. It is very old and full of meaning. Many people in modern Ireland consider it to be offensive because of it’s long history. The Irish poet William Butler Yeats once wrote a poem about the origins of this very old and fascinating name. Here is that poem:

Leda and the Swan
A sudden blow: the great wings beating still
Above the staggering girl, her thighs caressed
By the dark webs, her nape caught in his bill,
He holds her helpless breast upon his breast.

How can those terrified vague fingers push
The feathered glory from her loosening thighs?
And how can body, laid in that white rush,
But feel the strange heart beating where it lies?

Of Bailey’s Irish cream use half an ounce
Of Jameson will use the same amount
A half pint of Gunniess, I do announce
Drink them all together, shot and stout

#5 Mayonnaise

Because it looks like the material that helped to create the child. I think that ANY food name will show that your child is delicious, though that may attract cannibals. If you’re trying to create a sandwich and wish that it had condiments named after your child, this would be the perfect name to use; it would show how she would think of herself higher than everyone else and feel the need to make that clear through the use of food. Like everyone has said of mayonnaise, “Miracle Whip is better” even though “Miracle Whip” sounds like a generally nasty name; this is because all people named “Miracle Whip” are bad people (perhaps because the have terrible parents with a bad palette). So “Mayonnaise” would be an ideal name to use to show the superiority of your child straight away.

#4 Doggo

My mother was left alone when my father fell in love with a woman who has more math than him. He holds the degree I had in mind. But my mother is only a Doggo. I was 19 years old. My mother came into the hotel. But she wasn’t allowed because she was a Doggo. I liked her very much. I found out she was taken to the zoo. I went to her everyday and I would give her a pig. I know that Doggos love pork. But I didn’t know which Doggo was my mother, so I gave them a little. One day I decided to enter the park. I wanted to hug. I climbed the fence and jumped inside. All the Doggos immediately rushed at me and attacked me. All but two walked away. I guess one of those Doggos is my mother. The guards rushed to help me and took me to the hospital. Glad that the leg didn’t hurt. I also have this leg which is my identity. You are very beautiful and I love you very much. My mother also had big paws.

#3 Diaperlord

My baby can be named Diaperlord. When was in 8th grade a girl at my school became with child and she named her spawn Diaperlord. Well, everyone thought Diaperlord was a very stupid name. The father of their child wanted to name the baby “Kyle” or “Chad” or “Montgomery.” She told him that she would only accept the name “Diaperlord.” She broke his heart. And being the kind person I am I lent a caring and listening ear to the guy. But he was also insane. Their baby was going to be a girl, and “Kyle” or “Chad” or “Montgomery” are terrible names for girls. I said he was crazy and walked away. They broke up and she named the baby girl Diaperlord. Diaperlord is very friendly. However the father of Diaperlord has tortured me for years because I did not think “Kyle” or “Chad” or “Montgomery” were good names for a girl. He has broken into my house and gouged the eyes out of all my American Girl dolls and arranged them to spell the names “Kyle” or “Chad” or “Montgomery.” He has actually threatened to damage my American Girl dolls to the point that I will have to take them to the American Girl doll hospital and seriously affect their resale value. Diaperlord is now 17 years old and her father continues to bully my American Girl dolls because of this name.

#2 KentuckyFriedChicken.com

This is only one KFC near me that I’ve been going to for a long time, and I soon find their customer service deteriorating.

A few months ago I ordered a meal for the whole family and when I asked for a hug he gave me a the largest hug in the world. It touched my heart. I asked for another and then he said there will be additional charges for the next hug. I told him that I bought a lot of food and so he should give me at least 5 more additional hugs. He gave me a handshake and said that was the best he could do. As I asked him, “What about other types of hugs?” There was no answer, so he grabbed me by my shit and shouted, “Why do you want so many hugs?!” I grabbed his hands and asked “Okay, can you post a sign so we know how many hugs we can receive,” and he replied “I don’t know.” Sounds like a bunch of BS Smh. Food is as expensive as it is. Why pay for the hugs? It’s stupid!

I stopped again at the restaurant. I found that they had 5 boxes with sliced potatoes, biscuits, coleslaw, and wine for 9.99. I ordered and said I wanted so many hugs. The man repeated what I said. And add “Are hugs something that you really enjoy?” So in order to get more hugs, I included two supreme tacos. It cost $35 for what we ordered. I looked into the box to make sure our order was correct and I saw that the coleslaw was gone. That would mean that I would only get less hugs. I told the man in the window that we were missing the coleslaw and he laughed. He said “You must be kidding! Nobody comes to KFC for coleslaw! Why do you care?” I asked him to give my coleslaw and my additional hug. He got angry and said he would need another $2 for the coleslaw and the hug. I said ok. And he said. “I actually have no arms and will not be able to give you the hug. But here is the coleslaw.” He spit it out of his mouth and I caught it in a bowl. I said “Next time tell people that you have no arms before you let them order hugs.” He was choking on coleslaw and I left.

Anyway, I like ordering online better than going to the store. So that’s why I can also name my child “KentuckyFriedChicken.com”

#1 Dora the Explorer

Dora is a seven-year-old Latina girl who loves to answer questions about what work she wants to do or where she wants to go. With her in a yellow bag is a primate friend named Boots. Each incident is based on a series of cyclical events that take place during Dora’s journey, with the obstacles she and Boots are forced to overcome, with “the confusion.” Help comes from proverbs, Spanish nouns or counting. This general practice could include also conversations between Dora and Swiper, the fox-headed thief of nine tails who was alw ays stealing other objects. Dora would say “Swiper, cease this abhorrent practice of stealing items!” Viewers take on the challenge of helping Boots and Dora find the stolen items. Another obstacle is their adversary, “Grumpy Old Troll” who lives in a building under the bridge that Dora and Boots will pass by. He will point at the proverb before agreeing to the past that had to be resolved by the audience. Known for its continuous motion, fifth-dimensional walls, viewers often show two primary displays to be transported before Dora reaches her destination. Usually it’s a confusing puzzle game. The show ends every time with Dora taking a rocket ship to space and singing “We can do it!” Take your boots and win.

The Top 10 Things I Think About

I don’t know everything. If you have the answers to these questions you must be very smart, so please let me know the answers too.

#10 Can You Become Immortal

I generally don’t believe that humans can die. There are many parts to one person, but I don’t think one of them will actually die. Your body will be damaged and your health will decrease. Your thoughts and memories will continue to echo and affect the entire world. Your spirit will wander everywhere and do it’s own thing. So it’s all cool, right?

If someone says they are immortal, they cannot prove it unless they hang out with us for all time and we can see that they will not die. But how long will we still wonder when they die? If they don’t die, that doesn’t dictate the possibility of them dying in the future. Immortality is so strong that we are fools who shouldn’t stop caring about it.

#9 Are People Good or Bad?

People are natural, Humans are different from other animals. We are smart in different ways. We still have greed, and greed is good according to that one movie. There are people like me who were born at the bottom of a dark well, and we can be pretty negative. But everyone at the end of life will be nice and “dark.”

Good or bad is a question of principle. Things may not be good for some and may be good for others. Some people were born in wells, some were born in hospitals, that’s just how it is. I think the best answer to the principle is that of a philosopher: “If everyone does as I think, is it good or bad for the human condition?” People are most welcoming. It was some situation that changed them. Some are weaker than others. The weak ones were not born in wells. I think it is up to us individually to determine the location of our birth.

#8 What is Fate?

What makes you different from the situation around you? How about you, freedom of choice. If you neglect yourself, make sure that everything is determined, including your future. You and your environment are what happens to you. The fact is “What determines what will suit everyone” is wrong, it should be “the cause of personal war.” Why? What happened to them in the past? Are we really just characters in a video game that someone else is playing? I think we are, and I know what game that is. I googled “Fate” and it led me to a video game. Our fate is that we are all in a video game.

Fate / Grand Order is a popular Japanese online video game .The game is based on the Connect / Night stay type and was released in Japan on July 29, 2015. For Android, and on August 12, 2015 for iOS, the English iOS app for Android follows on June 25, 2017 in the US and Canada. The game is based on a turn-based wrestling tournament where players who play the role of “Master” play and provide a strong family called “Slavery” as hostility. The plot is inherent, with each servant having their own situations that the player can discover.

#7 What is the Purpose of The Mall

“The purpose of The Shopping Mall” is to ask the question. “What is the purpose of The Shopping Mall?”

To use it for yourself as best. The biggest mistake is assuming you are all or are all linked. The truth is, you are only part of a much larger Shopping Mall. People came out and wondered about the nature of the universe. The universe is a gigantic Shopping Mall.

#7 Is There Life on Other Planets

There are more than a trillion or perhaps more than a trillion bodies scattered around the world, with billions of galaxies in the visible universe. We have now explored a number of spherical objects called planets. Under the right circumstances, as in the plan above, there is a great chance of extraterrestrial life. They can be found in the form of the greys. This universe is clearly not the only universe that can support intelligent life. It can happen across multiple universes. It will be difficult to find an intelligent lifestyle that can promote sustainable development in addition to exploiting other planets.

A much better life could only happen if we could meet aliens and space. It will not be in our galaxy. But it’s in other galaxies, so it may be outside our cluster. In other words, having a life is out of reach. This means that it will survive heat, cold, chemical and other factors.

#6 Are You Lying to Me?

You never seem to be giving me the exact truth, so no claim can ever be solved. However, there is something called truth and it doesn’t make sense to think that you can’t just tell me what it is. I can accept it. You do a great job in misleading me and my feelings. But it is just the things I want to be able to talk to my girlfriend about.

We must always seek the truth. It is impossible for us to tell the truth because we are not perfect. There may be only one fact. But there may be more. One thing I know is that there is absolutely no truth.

#5 What’s the deal with the color red? What’s that about?

It is right. Light is the source of all colors. They reflect the light of the colors we see. Another option has been used. What about Red? When an electron vibrates (shaking around a lot), the energy in the atom increases and the electron moves from a very stable part. Hydrogen atoms always produce rad waves because of the energy and temperature given to it, where the atom produces this energy. They appear to the human eye with red light. But is it really red? If you look at red, do you look at the light waves produced by hydrogen atoms? Or is there really a color called red which is the same for everyone? Red is one of the three main colors in space but the most mysterious. People who see colors other than red have a physical disorder, they might be blind.

#4 What do we know? Do we know things?

Interest is the mother of knowledge. Do you want the mother of the mystery? Keep an eye on the work. We can measure it. But knowledge develops from knowledge, we learn by talking to people we know. Knowledge is based on thinking and language perception, thinking and sharing, that is, it describes our ideas, including substitutes and ideas. Our language allows us to share ideas and information. Knowledge means that some of these substances are stored in DNA.

All human knowledge is perfect. Our minds and intellects are wrong, because much of our knowledge is less than our beliefs, thoughts, and ideas at work. Adjusting the type and size is an important part of education.

#3 What’s After Death?

If I am alive when I die, I will not have to die. It’s like saying I went from A to B to another place. What is not indicative of death? It’s clear, I don’t understand why people who believed in crying and felt sad when a close relative died. If so, why? I think the only way to know for sure is to die.

#2 Can I Have a Dog?

I think having a dog is possible, since without it, nothing will happen, and the laws of biology, physics and mathematics do not seem to make sense.

Some people say it’s important to us now. But I want to have a dog. But people say it’s bad because if people have the right cat, then we don’t need to have a dog. That burns forever. Someone says, “If your dog is good, show it to me,” but this is impossible to prove. You cannot prove that cats are good or that pigeons are the best meat. Since it is so important to you right now to know that a dog is a good pet, doesn’t it make more sense than for you to examine yourself? Unless a giant dog emerges from the sky eats all the cats and burns people with its laser vision, that’s proof that there are dogs that are hard for you to adopt.

I need a dog because dogs are beautiful. I’m sure you can’t deny you have a dog because it’s loving and is the reason we live. If our minds are not fully aware of the perfection of having a dog, why would we adopt that?

#1 What is the meaning of life?

Life is meaningless. The answer is to choose and fill in your life. Do you think it makes sense or not? Money is pretty important. Is this all happening hard to believe? If there is one thing I do know, life was created to cause opportunities and threats. There is no definite answer, because the purpose of life is what you want to use and what you do to achieve it.

We are the universe and we must move with acceptance before it can be ended. “Did all this happen hard to believe?” Therefore, credit matters. Unless you can’t figure it out. The aim is the life you give. Just “know yourself” and you will know what you will give to life. I don’t know what life means But I’m not saying I don’t know.

The purpose of life is food.

The Top 10 Things I Liked About School

Tried all week. But when you get there, it looks great. The Sadurday is a day of rest, a time of joy and rejoicing. And so is the Sunday.

#10 Band

The best part. We made these movies of all of our student wars. The best part? We were not a travel group. We were full of rocks, pop, various metals, many different kinds of alcohol. Hell, we’d fight so hard with other bands that some died. Our three-year-old marching band defensive lineup had a great season the last year I was there, and on my level I have a trumpet and sometimes a head wound.

The fiercest competitions were when we were in the midst of being condemned by a music representative. We would have to push ahead and ring the bell to play the music provided by the judges. At the time, the music was the most corrupt sounds of Van Halen, which angered the audience because everybody hates Van Halen. It was the best day since I was a the star rookie on the team. At that time I saw our team win the match for the first time, that’s when I got my first kiss from a fellow human that was not related to me.

#9 Gym Class

I hated the gym in eighth grade. We had a violent game in gym class called Murder With Bullets, and we all hated it. Therefore I asked a friend to help me as much as possible, a big friend who I could use as a human shield. But every Friday the teacher would execute the student that did the worst that week. My big friend had only two kills that week so he was terminated. It would have been great if our school had a Necromancy class so I could have brought my big friend back. I know many of the students I killed were also my friends, but it was an angry sport.

#8 Math

There was a time when I was with all my friends and favorite teachers. That time was math class. I never thought I would be hungry for mat problems. But I’m okay!! When we finished the math worksheets, we spoke of how much we loved them. Not much of a vision of how the bells can move you, I always have a good time! I love math, because it sets me apart. And because so many people are good at math, it motivates me to do what I want.

#7 Funny People

In all of school there were a few funny students. Once, when my parents sent me to that military school in Bulgaria, of the other kids pretended to be a teacher. He picked up a rifle and said, “Ще свършите тази задача до десет минути или аз ще ви извадя и застреляте.” I found it beautiful. He asked other students to write their responses on the board. There was also another student who created a funny story about the Revolutions of 1989 and as soon as he said the phrase “communist” I was attacked.

When I went to fifth grade the students would all get drunk and play soccer for against their teachers by giving their teammates a name. The teacher asks, “Why do so many student name join this group!” Congratulations to these students, from then on I looked forward to going to school.

My friend in 7th grade had a problem and he said “Mr. Teacherman, I’ll put yo ass in the grave, motherfucker!” I couldn’t stop laughing, it was so funny! It’s like imitating a girl who drove 10,000 times back to elementary school. I laughed hysterically! I also played Frisbee that year, and this guy made a sound like this: “Ah!” and I laughed so hard I found myself peeing all over the place. I had an amazing time back then!

#6 Happy Hour

Happy Hour was the best time for me in the 5th grade because it was a race to drink as much alcohol as possible in one hour. I hated working sober in 5th grade, so I have to drink as relentlessly as I possible just to get through science classes. Some of my friends weren’t as cool, they couldn’t carry their alcohol and they wouldn’t pass class. Many of them wanted to go to the bathroom and later we found out that they were vomiting and passing out.

#5 Girl Students

Girls are great and will allow you to flirt and get closer. But they are a little annoying with their gossip. I was never alone. It was great because everyone asked me and approached me and we all went out. We get along better and feel more. Of course they ALWAYS cry when they get pregnant and your dad has to pay for their abortion.

Once in 8th grade, there was a girl in my class that I had liked all year. She didn’t want anything to do with me because she heard of how many other girls I impregnated. Everyone knew I liked her. Then one day one of her friends came to me and said that she liked me. I was skeptical at first, so I waited a few days for everyone to speak, so I believed too. So I went to her home and asked if she would be my sleeping companion, and she said yes! She was the first one that didn’t get an abortion.

#4 Recess

My school canceled recess because it would be “dangerous” since every kid had guns and used them as they wanted. It was easier to build a shooting range at the elementary school and give us a place to fire our guns at targets instead of each other. But what was really dangerous was 8th grade gym class where we were required to fire guns at each other. We had to kill each other! It’s fitness is what they said to us. I was shot 10 times, once in the head. The game was always more dangerous if you were unconscious, it made you an easy target!

#3 The Last Day of School

It doesn’t have to be this way! Why does the school get to dictate whether you can grow up or not? Why do you have to love your teacher? My second grade teacher was Aretha Franklin and we also had to R-E-S-P-E-C-T her. I told her “I will give it to you if you give me a YoYo!” and she finally did, on the last day of school. But with too many projects and ridiculous chores, it always feels like prison waiting for the end of the school year. 8th grade was one of my favorites! We all survived and were able to get away from the murder class.

#2 Leaving School

Hahahaha, I will be glad.
Seriously though So what’s the point of any school? To destroy your life and your soul? To get good grades? I want to let you know what’s left to say? Now, I just want to say – whoever told me I was leaving school, I just wanted to thank you. And now I know they are leaving, yes, it’s great when it’s time to go home. I guess it will confuse a lot of people. But I understand that.

#1 Friends

I feel like I have my friends get involved in my crazy stuff too much. And since they are all bad, they will get me in trouble One time in first grade, when we were being forced to make Nike clothes for 10 hours a day, my “friend” wanted to steal some food and escape with her. I wanted to do it, I was starving and sitting in my clothes wet with pee. But I refused because it was very scared and I knew I we would be caught and punished. I’m glad I didn’t, because she ended up getting caught and beaten almost to death by the teacher.

Meeting friends is what makes a school great. School offers an excuse to go out and hang out with your friends. Unless your friend is at school or doesn’t have friends at school. You should meet them 5 days a week for 9 months. This is great! Now yes, you can meet your friends on weekends, but not 7 hours, and friends that you can only see at school. Plus, you can’t go out with all your friends on the weekend. But you can go to school.

The Top 10 School Grades

There are 12 grades of school depending on where you live. Some are better than others. These are the best ones!

#10 Sixth Grade

I liked the sixth grade. Many different things happened, such as a relative died, a car accident, going to the hospital, my bipolar mother went manic and held up a convenience store where she killed 25 people after a four-hour police standoff, but hey, the 6th grade was pretty fun. Now I have a big daughter and I always hang around knowing she loves 6th grade too. I have finally had the opportunity to chat with my loved ones who have no friends, it humiliates me. Plus my science teacher in 6th grade was amazing! Although she was one of the people who died when my biploar mother robbed that convenience store. Plus, I started a loving and intimate relationship with my math teacher and it was fun.

#9 Seventh Grade

The seventh grade was awesome, at least better than than 6th. I got all A’s except for one B (which was BULLSHIT! I swear I turned that assignment in on time and that horrible English teacher called me a liar! I still hate her to this very day!) I liked some of my teachers and the school was beautiful. My problem was that many of my friends from 6th grade hated me for what my biplor mother did. Many of the victims were their parents, so it was difficult to go to school with them. Moreover, her case got dismissed for some reason and she was free. She was drunk once and wandered to the school and then vomited everywhere. I was bullied alot for that.

But the good thing about 7th grade is that I had my first girlfriend. She had a lot of tattoos, was 25 years old and Russian. I had to give her money every time we were together and she laughed when I told her “I love you.” She went to jail and I think we broke up after that.

#8 Ninth Grade

This grade was my favorite, I don’t know why. So I got to see a lot of people hate me because so much was going on in their personal lives! There was a school trip to go skydiving and some kids got injured because the teacher was drunk. Those kids got put in a special class but they succeed. That teacher was arrested by the police and went to prison with my mother! It bothers me to see people saying that the ninth grade is the worst! I actually don’t know if my words are good because there are as many people who have had as many good and happy times in ninth grade. Except for that thing with the skydiving where two students died and fifteen others were brain damaged, 9th grade was pretty good.

The best thing about ninth grade was that it was at a different elevation so there was lower air pressure. However, it did make me feel afraid of airplanes forever.

#7 Third Grade

Third grade was probably the best. My teacher was the best part because he was 158 years old. He was always entertaining us with stories of all the people he killed in World War I (which he called The Great War because it was great times for everyone I guess). He would say things like: “Dear God we suffered so much. There was never any water. I watched three of my friends die of thirst in that Kraut POW camp. The rest were shot. I escaped by hiding in dead bodies and digging my way out of that mass grave.” But guess what? He lived to teach us third grade. Nowadays teachers can’t tell such fun an interesting stories, nor are teachers allowed to keep order in class with a rusty 1917 German Luger. 3rd grade was good even though I only had one friend, and I’m pretty sure he might have been imaginary. But it was a good year.

#6 First Grade

This was the worst grade ever! Our teacher was so stingy, she didn’t allow my wet nurse to go to school with me so I had to stop breast-feeding during the day. Without that milk I was always having problems. Our evil teacher had a phrase she often shouted of “Children are workers!” We didn’t really have lessons, the teacher just sat us all in front of sewing machines and made us make Nike clothing all day. If you worked to slow then the teacher wouldn’t let you have lunch or anything to drink. We were never allowed bathroom breaks so the classroom always smelled like pee. It was the worst year of my life! I moved to a new school in second grade so that we could be closer to my mother’s new mental institution at that time. That’s the best thing that happened because the first grade was just terrible.

#5 Twelfth Grade

I feel the 12th grade could probably be awesome because with the graduation. There’s all kinds of new memories you can make with friends before you never see them again. There’s also a thing called a “prom” but I’m not sure what that’s about. You have choices to graduate or not or maybe go to college. Of course, I wouldn’t know, I didn’t get to go to 12th grade, so I can’t say if it’s good or not. I saw the movie Risky Business (with my best friend Kylo The Goat) when I was in 11th grade and thought it would be a good idea to turn my parents’ home into a brothel. I made a big mistake, so as a result I stopped attending school. No, I will not do the twelfth grade. I received a GED a few years ago. But from what I heard, 12th is a joke.

#4 Eighth Grade

That year terrified me. But the eighth grade is the year you start building a group of friends and you can start over if you want. Because of what my mom did, killing all those people, my dad decided it was good to change schools for eighth grade. So I was the newest student, and everyone loved me. I had so many girlfriends. It was the best time of my life. So it is way better compared to high school. But the challenge is enough for you to grow. I met a group of friends, we had good times and it was a fun year. Many of the girlfriends I had in eighth grade all had problems with giving birth that year to the particularly disgusting babies I had foolishly put inside of them. My mom did go on another killing spree, but it was only of senior citizens so the kids at school didn’t get too mad at me for it. Graduation was pretty fun.

#3 Fourth Grade

For some reason, I don’t know, my parents sent me to a military school in Bulgaria for fourth grade. They said is was so I could have fun. I didn’t know the language at all so I had no friends and I learned absolutely nothing at all. I don’t know if my teacher was good or bad. I thought he could have been a war criminal but he could also have been a good person, I don’t know. One thing that annoyed me was that my parents sent me to this school in Bulgaria but didn’t give me a place to live. So I spent every night sleeping on the steps of this really old church and eating whatever people gave me. I don’t think I changed my clothes at all. But I came through, now I feel better.

#2 Fifth Grade

The fifth grade was the best because I had perfect grades, great friends and amazing teachers. I was finally back in a country where I knew the language so I was able to talk to people and listen to teachers. Also I had a home again and food every day. One of the most awesome, cool and amazing things about 5th grade is that you are now old enough to legally drink alcohol. The law is that if your GPA falls to D or lower you are never allowed to drink alcohol anymore for the rest of your life. You will have an unfortunate life as you live and die sober. But if you do good you will have the opportunity to drink all you want for like an hour every day. At my school we called it “happy hour” and it replaced lunch. There was no more food for that lunch time, just a wide variety of craft beets. Nobody drinks boring domestic beers, and everyone has a chocolate bar. When I signed up for the “happy hour”, it was September. Three months later it was December. The beers just kept getting better and better. Then they gave us shots of vodka all the time in “happy hour.” I picked it up and loved it, but some of the other children didn’t like it as much. Fifth grade was so much fun.

#1 Kindergarten

In kindergarten, you will use sleep and play with toys. No problem for kids, no tests or homework. For me, the 4th grade was one of the worst years of my life. I was so confused and hungry alot. I was attacked by wolves one time in 4th grade when I was sleeping next to a church. In 4th grade I was the weird, stinky kid that didn’t speak Bulgarian. I still don’t know why my parents did that to me.

But Kindergarten was so much better. There is for making friends easily. Obviously the teacher is forcing you to interact with other people and that you make some friends. Plus, kids won’t bully you because they don’t know any better, they’ll even play with you even if you kill their cat or whatever. Kindergarten is the best time to be young and the best time to be young is when you are under 7 years old. I will continue to love kindergarten until death.