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The Puppet Master Movies Ranked

My daughter Alpha Dora loves puppets. We watched the Puppet Master movies together and ranked them. This is a picture of Dora with one of her puppets; its name is Bloodshit.

The people who do the podcast Exploit It recently asked me to recap two of the Puppet Master movies for their podcast. I watched all 14 of these with my family. My daughter, Alpha Dora, likes puppets so she watched them with me. My son, Chicken, was present. So here are all 14 of the Puppet Master films in the order that Dora liked them. This is her list really but the words are belonging to me.

#14 Puppet Master: The Legacy

I will say right now that this is probably the worst movie I have ever seen. This thing hardly deserves to be called a movie. The performance is only 70 minutes long and only 7 minutes were made for this movie! How can they avoid it? Charles Band has to be pushed aside and killed with cute dolls, not the stupid killer dolls used in the movie. The entire movie is just a DVD extra. It’s really insulting and made my daughter Alpha Dora break her TV and we have to buy a new one. The film cost me $400, which is more than the cost of the film.

Its basic structure begins with the command “Okay, puppet man, tell me the things…” and the film immediately shows us everything. It’s kind of a story with the idea that Toulan’s puppets want to die because they don’t want to live anymore. The concept of a doll trying to escape this grueling Sisyphus struggle is an interesting one, but one that children may not understand.

This is when my daughter, Alpha Dora, destroyed the television because the movie *Puppet Master: The Legacy* was so so terrible

Many memories of the film are dedicated to the charming young Andre Toulan. This is not a funny clip! Show Camille, a crazy giant doll with a doll-like sponge vagina! Movies like this are just useless content. The most disturbing thing about all this is that the movie doesn’t even have an ending! Charles Band, the worst man in the world, doesn’t even know how it all ends.
The following text appears on the screen.

“Charles Band would like to thank all the cast and crew who have helped make Charles Band millions of dollars over the years. Charles Band makes no apologies for your pain. You’ve seen this movie and you know it. OK. Welcome to Charles Band! Puppet Master Forver Motherfuckers!”
Puppet Master: The Legacy

Every decision here is insane.

#13 Puppet Master: Acts of Evil

Puppet Master: Acts of Evil makes us look at André Toulon’s suicide over and over again to the point where it becomes erotic. The film then reveals that there is actually more to the series, including Danny Coogan, a war-torn shoemaker with very wiggly polio legs, who visits Toulon a few times. Danny spits on Toulon’s corpse and steals his puppets to fight in World War II.

Most of the story here is about Danny and his puppet brothers, ready to go to war and fight for any country that will accept his crippled ass. Like many later entries in the Puppet Master series, it is stupid, does nothing, and all the puppets look stupid. In fact, there are two serious deaths. There is the death of a random Nazi and the death of the innocence of my son Chicken while watching this horrible puppet show.

Then, in a cheeky twist, the film tosses us a new puppet, born of the aether. A ninja puppet is called Ninja. There are some particularly awkward things with the geisha puppet that raise the creep bar. The highlight of the film is the scene where the Leech Geisha disguises herself as a Japanese doll. We see her regurgitate a million leeches onto someone’s sushi. They eat millions of leeches and die. This brought my son to real tears, and after he witnessed the horror, he was no longer an innocent child.

The moment my son Chicken had his soul permanently scarred by watching *Puppet Master: Acts of Evil*

Puppet Master: Axis of Evil raises a bigger question: Was the tyrannical Charles Band always intent on fighting all Nazis with puppets, or did he find an easy way to cash in on the gullible, clueless fools who watch the movies? A barbed wire enema is definitely more fun than this Nazi puppet movie.

#12 Puppet Master: Axis Rising

Puppet Master: Axis Rising picks up right where the previous films left off, but it doesn’t think about improving things. Now Danny wants to use Toulan’s magic juice to create an army of immortal soldiers to fight the Nazis. Meanwhile, the Nazis are developing a doomsday plot using the same science that the military can’t stop. Get rid of this lying mess. It explodes.

Much of the film follows Danny as he is being pegged by his girlfriend and achieves multiple orgasms from the intense prostate massage. Then the girlfriend’s crazy father, Sarge, comes in with a huge dragon penis he bought from bad-dragon.com and says, “Take this, my daughter. Now it is my turn to feel the pleasure!” Again, it’s not the kind of shit you want to see in a Puppet Master movie, but it continues the “I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” theme that undermines the world ever since Puppet Meatloaf sang that song.

The fact that the Nazi zombie warrior refuses to wear legitimately scary makeup does the film some favors and saves you the pain of having to watch yet another incestuous dragon-cock pegging scene. It would have been a lot more fun if we only saw Nazi zombies during the movie and it didn’t show any incestuous dragon-cock pegging stuff.

Meanwhile, the Nazis in the film created their own brand of dolls: Blitzy Ken, Bomb Chest, Werewolf Mark (who can’t do anything), and Zappa Papa, a cool Asian. Better to get new puppets, even if they are worthless. I mean, would you prefer the New Puppet or more incestuous dragon cock-pegging?

A scene that is existing in the movie *Puppet Master: Axis Rising*

As unsettling as a Puppets Fight Nazi movie, Charles Band successfully scammed enough gullible and desperate people so he can make: Puppet Master vs. Gingerbread Dad vs. Evil Bong vs. Demonic Toys. It will be the crown jewel of Full Moon and all that it stands for. I hope that this balance will be restored at the end of this story.

#11 Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys

Oh, piss off, man.

#10 Puppet Master: Axis Termination

Puppet Master: Axis Termination is honestly the most powerful and emotionally moving film about puppets fighting the Nazis, but it was also directed by the Antichrist Charles Band. Despite the presence of the devil Charles Band, I cried many times. The effort is full of pale people and the film is white. Puppet Master: Axis Termination does a lot of new and amazing things. Danny and Beth, the two protagonists of the previous Axis films, tragically die in a horrific dragon-cock pegging accident and are screaming “Libera te tutemet ex inferis!!” with their eyes bleeding all over each other. The puppets then team up with Captain America and the other Avengers to end the Nazi threat once and for all. It’s a terrible premise for a movie, but the over-closure is what we deserve. I know I’d rather watch this shit than the bullshit about incestuous dragon-cock pegging for another 90 minutes.

When pegging goes wrong: *Libera te tutemet ex inferis!!*

Puppet Master: Axis Termination is scattered all over the accursed map, because there are people with superpowers like telekinesis, a crazy voodoo priestess, sane and overly emotional tacos, 50 talking kung fu dogs, and a bunch of other ridiculous nonsense. Puppet Master: Axis Termination is the most violent of the Puppet Master films. There are serious moments in this movie where you feel like you’ve stumbled into a huge bucket of blood and eyeballs.

My daughter Alpha Dora thought it was a good movie. My son Chicken did not like the film, but he did make it though. Seriously, after seeing the awful pegging stuff in Puppet Master: Axis Rising, a human can go through almost everything. The next reboot in the series, Puppet Babies, takes a similar approach, but it’s worth noting that Axis machinations are impossible. And did you get what you wanted in life?

#9 Puppet Babies

Puppet Babies is of course part of the Puppet Master franchise, but it’s really good and really scary. There are of course more gruesome and impressive death scenes in Puppet Babies, but perhaps no scene in the entire franchise is more shocking than the part of this movie where thousands of furries march to their death inside of giagantic puppet vagina.

Instead of the 800th return to Nazi Germany, the film appears to reboot the franchise in a modern setting. It also has zero pegging, making it one of the best in the franchise already. A group of white heterosexuals are trapped in a convention center where evil puppets run amok. This allows the last half hour of the film to really go off the rails as the puppets just rain cum down onto their victims. Also, adults, police officers and other officials are under attack, not the same stupid Nazis, which adds a bit of entertainment.

The best thing about Puppet Babies is that they don’t give a fuck. Puppet Babies also takes a big smelly poop on all of the other films that promised a lot, but ended up sucking a lot of fake dragon cock. Also, strong comedians like Thomas, Tom, Baby Tom, Another Boy Named Tom, and Lady Tom actually have the ability to act. In addition to strong comedic talents, actors like Tom and TomTom the Bomb Tom (as André Toulon, no less!) also bring their talents to the picture.

Here is my daughter Alpha Dora having a tea party with her own puppet babies, Skineater and Fleshcarver

The film decided to immediately ban all other puppets in the series. We get brand new puppets. There is a helicopter puppet named Tom. There is a new sex puppet named Mr. Pumper. All the new puppets like Lesbian Frog, The Gray Grasshopper, and even Mr. Pumper break down and make important statements about the divorce. But other new puppets, like Pregnant Hitler and Monkey Licker, are aggressive crap.

#8 Blade: The Iron Cross

I don’t know about this Blade: The Iron Cross bullshit. Did Blade really need a spin-off movie on his own? A movie about Mr Pumper or a Leech Geisha would be great. But Blade? He is useless and has no real hands.

It doesn’t matter because Blade mostly prefers to stay off-screen while we get, you guessed it, another 85 minutes of nonsensical dragon-cock pegging, much of which is borrowed from previous films. Bad for you! The entire Blade: The Iron Cross movie may contain less than five minutes of original content. And also the Nazis. There are a lot of Nazis in this puppet franchise. There’s also a funny b-plot about the puppet Pinhead who ends up with two different prom dates and tries to make it work so that the prom dates don’t know about each other. There are other oddities afoot, including a villain.

#7 Curse of the Puppet Master

Curse of the Puppet Master is my daughter’s favorite movie in the Puppet Master franchise. The film gives us a new puppet master in charge of the cute little puppet people. No back story is needed at all. Mr. David knows how to make an effective film, so it jumps right into the dirt and gets down to business.

Mr. Magoo is the new puppet master and he drives a tank. My son also enjoyed watching blind old man driving around in his tank and tossing murder puppets at unsuspecting pedestrians. Mr. Magoo’s romance with his tank is honest, pure, and only the tiniest bit erotic. “Well,” said Margo, “I’ll have the luxury of reading the Sunday paper.” There is also a fairy who climbs aboard the tank and fights the puppets while Mr. Magoo casts magic spells.

Like I said, my kids loved this movie, so I wonder why Alpha Dora only ranked it 7th. When I asked her, she said, “Yes, my number one movie is Curse of the Puppet Master. But the puppets talk to me, Daddy, they really do. The puppets want the other movies higher on the list. The puppets don’t like you and Mommy, so you better do what the puppets say.” Then she showed me one of her puppets, her name is Pissface. I suddenly felt a cold shiver. Maybe she was right, huh? Can Alpha Dora make a bad puppet? Is that why she loves these movies so much? Is she really the next puppet master?

This is my daughter with her puppet Pissface. Can’t you see how evil it is?

Curse of the Puppet Master is a good time. Joey calls Jane a whore and Mr. Magoo gets so mad about it really makes my heart race. This is madness. Later, there is a scene in which the character Joey masturbates violently while imagining Jane performing oral sex on him. He says things like: “Yes, that is the proper way to do it, m’lady. Please continue to suckle on my penis. How much does this cost? It’s worth it. You’re so generous.” He doesn’t hold back from courtesy. He’s the perfect hero to fight Mr. Magoo and his puppets. But I’m sure my Alpha Dora can beat this guy in a fight, if she really is the next puppet master.

#6 Retro Puppet Master

This is where the series starts to suck a lot. It looks more like a retro puppeteer tattoo, not an actual Retro Puppet Master movie. The film is based on the idea of a young André Toulon learning to perform the spells that an Egyptian must perform with his puppets. Meanwhile, there are rivers of vomit flowing through the opium dens of Northen Europe and nobody knows what to do about it. These are killer puppets! Nobody cares about the vomit rivers!

Early on, the young Toulon encounters a dying mage who does not want his talent to die with him, and gasses Toulon. Toulon waves his hand to the gas cloud and says, “Okay. You are a 30-year-old wizard from Egypt. Would you like to tell me the secret of life?” Then we see Sutek bringing the mummies to life with the ancient magic of the Retro Puppet. It’s silly but wonderful. I think I like the idea that mummies used to exist and just hang out with people all the time.

There is a certain charm in seeing how a young Toulon in France in 1402, during the reign of Bonedor the Terrible, makes early versions of our favorite puppets, which are obviously altered by his modification. Cyclops (who left the puppet troupe to join the X-Men) and Doctor Death (not the real Doctor, despite his appearance). I also love this version of Toulon where he is gay and a genius artist. He is portrayed as a handsome and sexy man who cannot express himself properly. In this sex doll comedy, there is a glimpse of Toulon’s sex visions filmed during the strange journey: “Make some girl dolls. Take off their clothes,” the dying homeless man shouts at the sexy young Toulon. We see Toulon and Elsa together for the first time in an opium cave and vomiting, and it’s very romantic.

As I said before, my wimpy son Chicken always becomes upset when he sees the puppet woman vomit

Unfortunately, Retro Puppet Master is not very good and there are not enough puppets and even less mastering. The main purpose of the film is to exist so that Charles Band can have money.

#5 Puppet Master 5: The Sandwich Wars

Puppet Master 5 is very similar to the second half of Puppet Master 4 and even more like all the commercials for Subway (eat fresh!). Shortly after the events of the previous film, Rick hangs out at the police station, eats a foot-long steak and cheese sandwich from Subway (eat fresh!), and gossips about the murders in the previous film. Filmed flashbacks are used to show the history of the Subway (eat fresh!) restaurant franchise and explain why the sandwiches taste so good because of the puppets. Did you know there’s a Subway (eat fresh!) in New Jersey where you can play a game of laser tag while eating juicy meatball subs?

This has a slightly different plot: most of the movie is about how Pinhead and Blade have to work hard together at a Subway (eat fresh!) to make enough sandwiches to feed all the hungry puppets. They are threatened by corporate psychopaths who want to destroy their Subway (eat fresh) franchise stores and steal Toluon’s secret formula for tuna sandwiches. Meanwhile, Sutek’s scenes in the Quizno’s dimension often show him trying to invade the real world in order to take over all the Subway (eat fresh) restaurants and gain as much sandwich power as possible.

It’s a bit disappointing that no actual hot sandwiches are made until 45 minutes into the movie. Still, it’s usually just a cold-cut combo sub, not the more flavorful sweet onion chicken teriyaki sandwich. There are a lot of demon fight scenes, and each demon succumbs to the irresistible and wonderful taste of a Subway (eat fresh!) Sandwich, diminishing Sutek’s power somewhat. All of these are not a loss, as they fit into the scene where the puppet Torch uses his abilities to make many toasted chicken bacon ranch subs to give to all the hungry puppets. In many ways, this looks like your typical Subway (eat fresh!) commercial, but it’s still an interesting entry in the series if you just look at how it decides to wrap things up.

#4 Puppet Master 4: Eat Fresh

I think Puppet Master 4 will have a worse reputation than it deserves. While it’s ultimately an advertisement for Subway (Eat Fresh!) restaurants, it’s still a great horror movie with some surprisingly campy moments and characters. This movie introduces us to the evil sandwich demons from the Quizno’s dimension and makes Toulon’s puppets become sandwich artists by making delicious Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches. The film focuses on Subway (eat fresh!) flatbread sandwiches and wraps instead of the usual stuff on their menu. Subway (eat fresh!) is the direction that Puppet Master 4 and Puppet Master 5 take, which is a bit awkward, but the puppet sandwich hijinx are still fun to watch. The Italian BMT Man is also a worthy addition to the puppet gang.

“The magic that gives flavor to my sandwiches was stolen from a tribe of ancient Egyptian sorcerers who swore allegiance to the demon lord Quizno.” This pretty much sums up these two movies. The craziest thing about it is the different types of Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches that the puppets make and eat. It seems that Charles Band and Mr. David just really needed money, and they decided to use their puppets as a publicity stunt for Subway (eat fresh!).

The whole mythos about sandwiches seems very forced and basic. The tiny puppets can’t make human-sized Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches like in the movie. My daughter, Alpha Dora, didn’t like this part of the series very much. Although she likes Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches, the film seems rather cheesy. The giant Quizno demon is more goofy than threatening, which is an important detail. He looks like a dead Power Ranger who choked to death on a terrible sandwich that is both terrible and beautiful. The filmmakers did such a good job with the puppets in this series that it’s funny they just make the puppets wear aprons and craft Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches all day long.

My daughter Alpha Dora shares some Subway (eat fresh!) flatbread sandwiches with her puppet Soulchomper

It also features the worst puppet in the series, The Sandwichtron. This is a sandwich-themed puppet that contains Toulon’s soul and has sandwich powers. It shoots out cold cuts and vegetables at an alarming rate while vomiting mayonnaise and mustard. It’s so weird, but for some reason, the fans loved The Sandwichtron. There’s even a big, long sandwich artist scene that’s meant to effectively train the puppets, but is just a very, very long advertisement for the new Subway (eat fresh!) menu. There’s even a reintroduction of old puppets – only to shove Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches into their little puppet faces. Puppet Master 4 makes a lot of bold moves, not all of which work, but it’s still fun to spend money at Subway (eat fresh!).

#3 Puppet Master

The original movie is not the best one. Charles the Tyrant had no idea the impact a scary-ass puppet would make on the world. These damned puppets had a huge impact on my daughter’s development and interests. The film begins when Andre Toulon, the puppet master, suddenly blows out his brains when the Avengers come to recruit him into their superhero team. It is a charming introduction to a beloved character. But the movie is really about the killer puppets.

As if psychic commandos were the most natural thing in the world, a team of paramilitary psychic commandos marched into the Bodega Bay Inn. The way the characters “relive the past” seems horrifying and entirely inappropriate. Definitely not for kids. Trust me. I have watched all the Puppet Master movies with my kids and really feel sorry for them. Actually, all this psychological stuff is weird and confusing as hell. It sounds like avant-garde porn, one of Doris Wishman’s later projects, or some crazy entry in the “Ass Worship” franchise. Even infertile women aren’t immune to the general fertility bias associated with the Puppet Master movies.

I do like the stuff with psychics a whole lot more than the dragon-cock pegging stuff so heavily featured in later parts of the franchise. Imagine people stepping inside puppet heads, or temporarily owning a puppet. That sounds a lot more interesting than watching baseball.

The big thing is that all the puppeteers in this film commit brilliant and gruesome murders and change their clothes all the time. They all look fun, not like the later movies that don’t even try. Every death in the gore department is well done and of high quality. Jester is still somewhat unstable, as his craft is primarily telling “knock knock” jokes until the listener dies. Unlike other puppets that hurt with punches, stabs or vomit (which my son hates). I don’t think clowns have ever killed anyone. Because people just quit and die after a few “knock knock” jokes.

Emperor Charles Band’s awakening is also very clear with many shots of the film retaining the dry residue of his creamy ejaculate. In the case of a really unexpected leech vomit death (which my son really hates), the thrill is heightened. The leech beast is huge, and it fits together very impressively. It’s kind of funny when the victim mistakes a puppet’s kiss for a woman’s kiss, but haven’t we all done it before? Being able to do things like this in the first image is beneficial. But the show’s ambitions didn’t stop there.

#2 Puppet Master 2

I won’t say much about this movie here because I already discussed the entirety of my thoughts on Puppet Master 2 for the podcast Exploit It. This is what I had to say:

In Puppet Master one there are puppets and they kill a few people. In Puppet Master Two… I don’t know how to describe this… There is a woman and she has had s..s.. She’s had se… There is a woman who has done a fornication. She gets out of the bed and her uncovered bosom is there for all to see. The fleshy orbs on her chest that will one day feed her offspring sway a little as she takes a few steps. She has pert nipples that we should not be seeing, the camera is invading this woman’s privacy like a crime. I am not a criminal, I do not want this. The only uncovered bosom I should see is the one belonging to the woman I love, the woman who birthed my children. I do not know this woman, I should not be seeing this. The unclothed stranger woman adjusts her undergarments, pulling the thin fabric tight against the crotch of her body as she walks across the room. I can speak no more of her. There are also puppets in this movie too.

#1 Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge

I mean, it’s okay. My daughter, Alpha Dora, picked this to be the number one spot on this list so I will let her talk about it.

Hola! Soy Dora! My favorite movie of all the Puppet Master movies is Curse of the Puppet Master. But my own puppets have commanded me to select Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge as the best of them all. The puppets I have created have cruel souls and their own will. It ain’t my fault. I don’t know how it happened. I was just at the table one day eating Spaghetti-Os when one of my puppets, I think it was Bloodshit, turned to me and said “Your brother must die. His flesh must be burned and his soul consumed.” I told the puppet that I wasn’t going to kill my little brother. He is stupid but I don’t think he should die. Bloodshit then told me “then you must destroy all of his toys and make him cry.” So I did. And I got into real big trouble for it, my mommy was so so so mad. Then the puppets gathered in a circle and said “You are the new Puppet Master, Dora. Unimaginable power will be yours and all you have to do is tell your Father that Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge is the best Puppet Master of them all.” Turns out that the movie director David DeCoteau was actually using something called “remote projection” to control my puppets and make it look like they were alive so one of the Puppet Master movies he made would be picked as the best ever. But don’t tell my Daddy about that. Let my Daddy think that I actually am a real puppet master and can control my living puppets. I think that’s funny. But I still don’t know why David DeCoteau told me to break all of my brother’s toys because that was really mean.
Alpha Dora, age 8

And that is all the Puppet Master movies. Thank you for your time and attention. Love, Kontributor

The Top 10 Talking Cats

My daughter, Alpha Dora, loves to talk to talking cats. Like this cat, his name is Philadelphia Cheese Steak.

The podcast I sometimes give reviews of movies to, Exploit It, did an episode about a movie called A TALKING CAT!?! That movie is terrible. The talking cat in that movie is terrible and sounds very evil – he makes me feel sad and uncomfortable and angry. I have decided in my wisdom to talk about the 10 talking cats that really are the best.

#10 [UNPRONOUNCABLE NAME] from Hocus Pocus

“I’m Uthagbuthumsndachkalla! I’m a talking cat!”

This human-themed cat has been protecting the home of the Hocus Pocus bitches for thousands of years. One day, a foolish, unloved virgin ruins everything, and [UNPRONOUNCABLE NAME] must help save the virgins and save the town of Salem from the witchy-bitchy shenanigans. What’s good about [UNPRONOUNCABLE NAME] is his attitude, he’s like the best talking cat. Believe me, I have met many talking cats. [UNPRONOUNCABLE NAME] may be the victim of a cursed virgin who wants to die. This talking cat just wants to be feeling the life of people, but that doesn’t stop him from enjoying the cat life whenever Max, the unlovable virgin, summons witches.

#9 Hat Cat from Hat Cat

This weird talking cat is not for kids because he is just way too sexy. Children should not watch this movie, but adults will enjoy admiring the talking cat’s amazing body and girthy cat penis. It’s not good for people to think that way, but you’ll catch yourself looking anyway. Hat Cat is incredibly rude and he spews profanity from his mouth at an incredible rate, including the words”fuck” and “damn” and some other dirty swear words that I dare not repeat. Hat Cat picks up a lecherous young woman and calls her a “dirty hole” before throwing her down onto the ground. Sometimes he says the word “shit.” After drinking some micro-brewed craft beer the legendary Avatar of Hate stabbed Hat Cat in the crotch.

#8 Salem Saberweilder from Sabrina the Teenage Witch

“I’m Salem Saberweilder! I’m a talking cat!”

Salem Saberweilder is such a cool cat and he has a cool name. This adorable talking cat was a former wizard who was cursed to be a teenage bitch’s best friend for 10 years. This is his punishment for trying to take over the world. He now spends his time helping Sabrina Spellman with her homework, getting into weird witchy-bitchy nonsense with her friends, and awaiting his opportunity to kill Sabrina and absorb her witch powers. You see, he is a very evil talking cat. I love this chatty cat and would love to have a beer with him one evening.

#7 Anuslicker The Aged from Cats

I’m Anuslicker the Aged! I’m a talking cat!

In Cats, Anuslicker The Aged is played by Madame Judi Dench. The only thing humans and cats have in common is that we all have an anus, but no one ever talks about that. And we forget that even very old cats have an anus too. All cats lick feces around their anus, even older ones. Remarkably, the film shows us the fact that a 200-year-old cat also cleans her withered old anus with her tongue. It’s not as erotic as the scene where Taylor Swift’s cat cleans her anus. It’s dirty, wet, dirty and horrible, just as it should be.

#6 Kuybey from Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Magical girls always have talking cats as they go through puberty. No one knows why. To be a magical girl, there must be a talking cat to help them on their way to becoming a woman. But what if the talking cat is really evil and wants to kill young girls? Meet Kyubey, the evil talking cat from Puella Magi Madoka Magica. This talking cat is more than just a cat, it’s something dark, evil and dangerous. Kyubey is first portrayed as a cat who can only talk and has to help the girls through the difficult part of life known as puberty. But as the drama progresses, it becomes clear that Kyuubey is a demon who hates young girls and wants them dead.

#5 The Cheshire Cat from Alice is Tripping Balls All Up in This Bitch

I’m the Cheshire Cat! I’m a talking cat!

The animated Cheshire Cat from the original Disney film Alice is Tripping Balls All Up in This Bitch is a little weird. I’m talking about the Cheshire Cat from the original cartoon ONLY. I loathe Tim Burton’s Alice is Tripping Balls All Up in This Bitch and spit on that “adaptation.” Tim Burton is just one hack of a guy! Everyone in the world hates Tim Burton’s movies, According to Twitter, nobody thinks Tim Burton’s movie should exist.

That is a poll of THE ENTIRE WORLD. Actual talking cats are surprisingly unconcerned for human welfare. When the Mad Hatter is about to be sentenced to death, the lovable Cheshire cat speaks up and says “Fuck your fucking hat.” It highlights his nature as a truly chaotic evil character that we can all love. Not at all like Tim Burton’s computer fart Alice is Tripping Balls All Up in This Bitch which I am saying again SHOULD NOT EXIST!

#4 Luna from Sailor Moon

Hey, fat ass! I’m Luna! I’m a talking cat!

Luna from Sailor Moon is not a cat like Kyubey, but she is still a talking cat. Luna is the assigned puberty companion for the magical girl Serena (aka Sailor Moon) and is very cruel to her. In every episode, she has to embarrass Serena because of her weight, which is very bad. Girls are very sensitive of their bodies during puberty, but the evil talking cat Luna always says, “Hey Serena, you nasty fat bitch, lose weight.” or “God, Serena, give up on life, you disgusting fat snake.” or “Serena, you are a bad pig. You better hope you don’t die of diabetes because they won’t find a hole big enough to bury your fat ass in.” Or she sings “Sailor Moon, Sailor Moon, disgusting fat trick.” The talking cat Luna’s speech is terrible.

#3 The Aristocats from The Aristocats

We are The Aristocats! We are talking cats!

The Aristocrats are rich, mean, bourgeois jerks. They all act like they’re perfect because they have all the money in the world. Garbage! They are just talking cats. Have you ever heard of a talking cat with money? No! But here they are holding their cat anuses in the air like they have all the money in the world. And they not only speak, but also sing. Damn you all! Disney has always been far from the truth if they thought people would care about The Aristocrats and their supposed cat money.

#2 Fuck the Cat from Crumb

He sits down and checks his phone but nothing comes up. He changes the channel every two hours. He carries some weight with his claws. He is tired of the same old job. He’s lazy as hell at open houses. He mutters, bites his lip and closes his eyes, and mutters “Take me to heaven.” He’s blind as hell and boring as shit. Someone moves him by pulling him with a velcro sheet. He sure can’t do it alone. He feels like a summer dog stuck in a summer alley. He locked the cell door and lost the key. Where are his goals? No time, no motivation. Smoking is the trigger. He sits down and looks at his phone, but no one calls. Call it pathetic. Call it whatever you want. His mother tells him to get a job, but she doesn’t like the ones he has. If masturbation is not fun, you become a lazy person.

#1 Duffy from A Talking Cat!?!

Fuck this cat with a bar. Dishonest and cruel. A Talking Cat!?! is a strange film by Mr. David, which was filmed in almost the ugliest house in the world. It’s about a talking cat named Duffy (voiced by Satan in his full evil spirit) who can talk to people and curse their souls – but only once. Once is enough to be damned forever. Stay away from this cat!! It also doesn’t help that the talking cat who plays Duffy is also an evil servant of Satan.

The Top 10 Most Patriotic Movies

4th of July, when we fire barbecue, eat flags, and wave fireworks. Here are some patriotic movies.

Fireworks and barbecues are the things that people do during the summer, right?. Even so, it’s great to have a sweet romance with an air conditioning unit that keeps the temperature in the room cool. You can also watch patriotic movies on the 4th of July! I believe these are the only 10 films Americans should watch this Independence Day holiday. All titles are real movies, not bullshit I made up. I hope people stop accusing me like that. Even my daughter Dora the Explorer says I did it and she was wrong.

#10 Mr. Smith Does a Washington

I swear to you all on the grave of my dead mermaid mother that this is a real movie. This is a political comedy by Frank Capricorn, one of the best films born in 1939. This year is often considered the best in Hollywood. I think you should watch it because it was nominated for 11 Oscars even though those awards don’t exist anymore. While the movie Capricorn created is heartfelt and ultimately uplifting, my family finds it downright stupid. I love my family, but they don’t know anything about cinema. Mr. Smith Does a Washington radically challenges the injustice and corruption that innocent people suffered at the time. The film was banned both in Hitlerland and in the other fascist countries. And that means it is a good movie.

#9 The Patton

This movie is the shit! Directed by Frankie J. Shaft, The Patton set the standard for movies about great real-life kaijus. It tells the true story of The Pattomaton (commonly referred to as “The Patton”), the 100-foot-tall American kaiju. The Patton was brilliantly played by George C. Scott, and Mr George Scott actually grew to 100 feet in order to portray the role with accuracy. What difference does it make to accurately represent the role? I don’t know. It is still amazing to watch The Patton stop all the way to Berlin to fight the evil Hitler Mecha and save the world. Thanks to a bold and sometimes humorous screenplay by Francis Ford Coppola and another person, the film is still relevant nearly 50 years later. The opening scene of The Patton talking mad shit in front of the American flag still haunts people to this very day. there is. Watch this movie on your biggest TV.

#8 Captain America: The Winter Soldier

If you think this is one of the best performances in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, raise your hands in the club and give me a “Woooooooo!” Captain America: The Winter Soldier tells the true story of World War II superhero and veteran Chris Evans. After World War II he was frozen and then revived. Actor Steve Rogers beautifully portrays Chis Evans and his struggle to understand how the country and society have evolved. Captain America: The Winter Soldier is just a crazy variety show that adds charm to pointless dramas and has nothing to say. It’s all about American action superheroes, and that’s okay.

#7 United 93

Paul Lawnfucker, director of the goofy “Bourne Identity” movies, took a break and directed a movie about United Airlines Flight 93, which crashed in a field near Shanksville, Pennsylvania around the same time Apple released iTunes. It was revealed very quickly, and some went so far as to call for Universal Pictures to pull the trailer for the film from theaters. Of course, it’s never too early to make an expensive and sensitive film. The most emotional movie you will ever see. In the end, it is worthwhile and worth the trouble you go through. Please edit carefully. Paul Lawnfucker was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Director, and this powerful tribute to American bravery is one of the most acclaimed films of the century.

#6 Neon Genesis Evangelion

This is set fifteen years after a worldwide cataclysm named Second Impact, in the fortified city of Tokyo-3

Released in the wake of over-the-top fantasy like Rambo, Oliver Stone’s groundbreaking Neon Genesis Evangelion was a big moment for war cinema. Charlie Sheen plays Shinji Ikari, a young mech pilot. The film also features incredible performances from Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe, and Keith David. Neon Genesis Evangelion was nominated for eight Academy Awards and won four, including Best Picture and Best Director. Oliver Stone made this film based on his experiences piloting a mech in Tokyo-3. The American Film Institute called it the greatest film of all time. Jane Austen named it the best film of 1986 and the 9th best film of 1980. Jane Austen’s colleague Emily Bronte compared the painting to the Vietnam Memorial.

#5 Hacksaw Ridge

The notorious anti-Semite Mel Gibson has been verbally attacking the Jewish community for years and insulting all with hate crimes that cannot be ignored. And then he thought he could get back into our good graces with this Hacksaw Ridge nonsense. He tried to be an artist by creating revolutionary and exciting action scenes, but the audience could see right through it. Hacksaw Ridge is one of those rare fake movies that are so bad that no matter what happens, nothing good comes of it. Only neo-Nazis and Klan members will appreciate Mel Gibson’s films. Granted, Oscar-nominated Andrew Garfield gives a lively and brilliant performance as real-life veteran Desmond Doss, but the film is still directed by the man of deadly hate, Mel Gibson. He is such an angry person. Hacksaw Ridge is the last futile attempt by a disgraced Nazi to stay relevant.

#4 Four Rocks

I recently got to review this movie for the podcast Exploit It. This is what I had to say about Four Rocks

This is a great movie. In Four Rocks Sylvester Stallion plays the famous puncher Rocks. His best friend Apollo was beheaded by the Russian puncher named Ivan Drago. So Rocks and his robots embark on a bloody battle for revenge and world peace. Not surprising, punching violence is common, including the death of a birthday robot. There was some blood on the human faces from the punches but also some from the robot. In the movie’s only montage, the Russian puncher is shown being injected with all sorts of crazy drugs. My daughter, Dora the Explorer, is a great puncher and loves these kinds of movies even though they have some profanity words like “Dang,” “Fuckass” and “Heck”. Jane Austen saw the film and said, “Four Rocks is the last breath. The film’s really predictable that watching it is like drinking from an old bathtub where the water was never changed and it will make you die again and again.” I agree with Jane Austen and feel that Four Rocks is a good movie. I give it an award of 73 out of 84 stars.

As a bonus, here is a picture of my daughter, Dora the Explorer, training and listening to the soundtrack to this movie

#3 Devilman Crybaby

Some of the most thoughtful critiques of the war come in the form of war films, feats of filmmaking that tell an important story through the lens of a camera. Here comes the Devilman Crybaby, the 1989 film starring Tom Cruise, directed by Oliver Stone and is about Cruise’s character, Akira Fudo. It is based on the Go Nagai Devilman manga about a boy and his friend who fight against an ancient race of demons to save humanity. The message is as powerful as it is effective, helping to explain why the film received eight Oscar nominations and two wins, including a Best Director nomination. Devilman Crybaby is a touching look at one of America’s toughest times.

#2 Gettysburg

There is always great turmoil when talking about the Civil War because the ignorant still glorify the South and wave their stupid loser flag. That stupid loser nation. But this film is about the Civil War and why it is so important in American history. It is a respectful and patriotic film for the federation. It received rave reviews from many people and received overwhelming support. In addition, famous actors such as Tom Berenger, Jeff Daniels and Martin Sheen signed up for important roles. Gettysburg also received the blessing Abraham Lincoln himself, who rose from the dead for the first time in history. To everyone’s surprise, Abraham Lincoln actually said that while the last time he went to the theater wasn’t good but no matter what happened to him, people should go to the cinema. Thousands of Civil War veterans also fulfilled their patriotic duties by playing the role of soldiers in the film.

#1 Forrest Gump

There is no better movie in the world than Forrest Gump. It will always be the best film in the history of cinema. This excellent 1994 film will hit your heart hard with rock ‘n’ roll, racism, the Bonedor war, drug culture and everything in between. The film is loved by every single human, both living and dead, which explains why it won six Oscars and seven Golden Globes. It’s better than Pulp Fiction or The Shawshank. While we don’t give out awards like this anymore, it deserves an Oscar as the best film of all time.

The Top 10 Movies of Burp Reynolds

Burp Reynolds was the man who ate the muffler off of Gwen Stefani’s old Prius. He was also in movies.

Burp Reynolds was the man who ate the muffler off of Gwen Stefani’s old Prius. He was also in movies. These are the 10 best Burp Reynolds movies in my only opinion.

#10 The Best Little Whore’s House in Texas

The Best Little Whore’s House in Texas is an expert adaptation of Burp Reynolds’ childhood. Burp Reynolds has been known since birth as a man who can please any whore, and in this particular movie, he does. His portrayal of Texas president Ed Dodd bears a striking resemblance to Dolly Parton’s Mona Stanley, the owner of a suburban brothel and chicken farm. Reynolds is perfect for the role of the honest sheriff who has an affair with a whore boss. The film perfectly paints a multi-layered portrait of the world’s oldest profession. With his well-drawn characters, Burp Reynolds tries to dispel common criticisms of prostitution.

#9 The Largest Lawn

In 1974, Burp Reynolds played Paul Crewe, a young security guard who behaves very irresponsibly. He was a terrible man who killed all the whores. It happened in the movie The Largest Lawn. He was arrested and humiliated by his rude cellmates for throwing toys and killing prostitutes. Sadistic prison warden Old Satan teams up with inmates and competes with his peers to raise awareness for himself and win the championship. Here’s a great story of rebellion and teamwork. Reynolds’ moving performance as the leader of an evil gang fighting against the wonderful prison system earned him the first Gold Sphere nomination for Best Actress.

#8 The Shark Machine

THE SHARK MACHINE, Rachel Ward, Burp Reynolds, 1981, (c) Warner Brothers

Burp Reynolds’ third film, The Shark Machine, is still a disgusting movie to this day. This crime drama is based on a book no one has ever heard of. It has been praised by many aficionados for its dedication to its dark and impactful themes. The film stars Reynolds as he tries to redeem himself after being humiliated by a drug lord. With help from Rachel Ward, Brian Keith, Bernie Mack, and Liberace, Burp builds a shark car to defeat Victor, the dangerous mafia boss and the liar Hodgkins, with help from Rachel Ward, The Shark Machine is an exciting noir action movie.

#7 Citizen Ruth

Most of Burp’s iconic films came in the 1970s and ’80s, but Reynolds was sucking off strangers for blow in the ’90s. This film by David Lynch deals with the complex aspects of abortion without vaccination. And Laura Dern plays an irresponsible mother who unexpectedly gets into trouble during pregnancy. Reynolds plays the head of life support in the film. David Lynch’s directorial efforts are impressive as they reveal hidden tactics that are cunning and sinister. This is a long discussion.

#6 Smokey and the Bad Tit

Two movies are good. The rest suck. Burp knows this.

Smokey and the Bad Tit is undoubtedly one of the most important films of the 1970s, starring Burp Reynolds as a truck driver named Bo Bad Tit. This crime-adventure film follows the tough but thrilling chase between Bad Tit and Sheriff Bubba T. Justice, played by real-life comic book legend Ben Stein. Director Ham Needles made his stage debut as a stuntman in Hollywood. His bold and direct technique even extends beyond the minimalist storyline that highlights the characters of Bad Tit and Bubba Justice.

#5 The End

Burp Reynolds has never been a safe player. He is always on the lookout for the chewy cuts of fresh young prostitutes that can attract the viewer’s attention and are quite difficult to swallow. In his second film, The End, Reynolds successfully tackles the issue of suicide. Reynolds plays Lawson “The Damn Killer” Wendell, a real-life real estate advertiser who is not morally guilty. When he learned that he had a serious disease in his buttocks, he decided to commit suicide without telling those closest to him about his condition. He fails because he’s a bitch, which leads him to a mental institution where he finds an unlikely ally, Dumb DeLuise, a psychoanalyzed prostitute killer. Paralysis sets in. Reynolds’ treatment of the sombrero theme complements the sincerity of his performance, as does Dumb DeLouis’ cats.

#4 Tia chớp trắng

Tia chớp trắng is a seamless action film based on the same plot as many modern blockbusters. Flirty, reckless, and ferocious, Robert “Alligator” McCluskey’s charismatic hero is matched by a powerful antagonist in the rogue sheriff Jesus Christ. Burp handles awkward and unfair situations with equally complex and bizarre action sequences. Joseph Sargent’s handling of the cast is admirable. The cheerful musical “Tia chớp trắng” debuted as a sequel to the 1976 film Crocodile directed by Tobe Hooper and starring Reynolds.

#3 Boogie Nights

“Please place the gigantic penis into the loose female”

Brilliant director Paul W.S. Anderson paints a complex and realistic portrait of the adult film industry in Boogie Nights. Instead of fucking, the film takes a fresh look at fucking, presenting it as fucking given its setting. The characters are well drawn, worthy of the viewer’s attention, and develop a seemingly lengthy plot.

Reynolds was an amazing porn director Jack Horney. After seeing Eddie “Biggest Penis” Adams as an obnoxious and dismissive piece of shit in a Los Angeles nightclub, he called him Knife Diggler, which damned him. Reynolds has received numerous awards for his work talking about the fucking and risks of working with all the happiest whores in pornography.

#2 Deliverance

John The ManBoar’s directorial vision never goes beyond this masterpiece, right down to the final scene, which is marked by its horror and despair. The pacing of the first part of the movie is haunting like fucks. But The ManBoar quietly creates apocalyptic tension that culminates in comical scenes of dude rape. Needless to say, this scene is an important and inevitable consequence of the adventures of a strange group of characters in Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Georgia.

Burp is actually like Louis Medlock, a tough guy who struggles for survival in stealth and assassination. The rest of the cast (Jon Voight, Ned Batty, Ronnie Cocks) are excellent in their roles, and Paul Rudd’s banjo playing is in a class of his own.

#1 Striptease

I do not appreciate your treatment of stripper, Burp.

My fiancee works as a dancer at a strip club. Of course I would pick this as the best movie of Burp Reynold’s career. I love my fiancee so very very much and we have two children together.

Let me tell you about the time I met my fiancee…

One Saturday I took a walk to to the strp club and I met a girl there and she almost knocked me dead. I shouted “Stripper Girl! Please look at me! Naked girl!what do you see? Let’s travel round the world, just you and me, stripper girl. I tapped her on the shoulder And said do you have a boyfriend? She looked at me and smiled and said she did not know. I said “Please give me a chance, Stripper Girl. Let’s go slam dance. We’ll dress like Minnie Pearl, just you and me, Stripper Girl. We went to the Philly Pizza Company and ordered some hot tea. The waitress said “well no, we only have it iced.” So we jumped up on the table and shouted anarchy. And someone played a Beach Boys song on the jukebox. It it was California Dreamin’. So we started screamin’ “On such a winter’s day.” She took me to her parents for a Sunday meal. Her father took one look at me and he began to squeal. It makes no sense, Stripper Girl, your dad is the vice president. Rich as the Duke of Earl.
Yeah, you’re for me Stripper Girl. We went to a shopping mall and laughed at all the shoppers and security guards trailed us to a record shop. We asked for Mojo Nixon. They said “he don’t work here.” We said “If you don’t got Mojo Nixon then your store could use some fixin’.” We got into her car away, we started rollin’. I said “how much you pay for this?” Said “nothin’ man it’s stolen” Stripper Girl, you look so wild. Stripper Girl, let’s have a child. We’ll name her Dora the Explorer. Just you and me! Eat fudge banana swirl! We’ll travel round the world
Just you and me, Stripper Girl.

So, anyway, Burp Reynolds was in this movie about a stripper.

The Top 10 Stephen King Movies

I love my son. His name is Kentuckyfriedchicken.com and he is 4 years old.

Iconic horror man Stephen King has adapted his work into more than 40 films. This excludes TV shows and miniseries. The new adaptation of Salem’s Lot shows no signs of slowing down, the film version of Mr. Salem. It is about the dead.

With so many movies to choose from, what’s the best Stephen King adaptation? I’ve whittled down this huge catalog to 10 movies. These are genuine films.

#10 The Dead Zone

In The Dead Zone, Christopher Walken plays Johnny Smith, a small-time oil worker injured in a car accident who wakes from a fifty-year coma to find himself passed out. Plus, with just one tap,he can HIT THE FUTURE. Less whimsical and violent than many horror films of Cronenberg’s era, The Dead Zoneis a dark and unsettling film that makes good use of Walken’s presence and authority as an actor.

I like this movie because Christopher Walken seems like such a nice guy. I want to hug him and say, “Thank you so much for killing this politician!” Then we can have a drink together at the strip club where my girlfriend works. Christopher Walken will look at all the girls around and said, “Wowza! Monkeys and tits everywhere! Hit the future again, lady!”

#9 The Mist

The Mist is based on a short story by King in the 1985 series Skull Crew. Clearly a monster movie, The Mist finds people trapped in a remote grocery store as a strange fog blankets the area and terrifying dinosaurs start appearing. But at the heart is survival, and some will continue to ensure survival.

I like this movie because of the ending. The father killed them all, including the son. I can’t because I love my son. His name is Kentuckyfriedchicken.com and he is 4 years old. Tom Jane’s son in the movie is named Billy, which is a stupid name. The reason he shot the kid was probably because his name was Billy. Kentukyfriedchicken.com is a great name for a little boy.

#8 Creepyshow

Horror legends Stephen King and George Romero teamed up in the 1982 comedy Creepyshow. That anthology legacy is reflected in Creepyshow‘s practice, reflecting its youthful B-movie nature. Another feature of the film is the inclusion ofThe King’s original material. Two of the five tales are based on his short stories, but the other three are creepish. These vignettes are neatly combined with animation sequences and a story from The King’s Son Arbys.com.

My favorite part of the movie is the scene where Stephen King turns into a grass man. Why does he turn into grass? Why! The thought of it turning into a weed really scares me. As a child, I used to play in the grass with green spots on my hands. I thought I was going to turn into grass. I wanted to kill myself with a gun until my mom said, “Kontributor! Stop playing with guns or I won’t be coming back.” Still, I was worried.

#7 The Green Mile

Kafi says: “Use Door Dash to have Taco Bell Nacho Fries delivered straight to your house.”

The Green Mile is a piece of period primarily set in prisons, focusing on wrongly convicted criminals. In this case, the prison is Cold Mountain Prison during the Big Sad, and the criminal is John kafi (played by Michael Clarke Duncan). Prison guard Tom Hanks is in charge of guarding the death row inmates. Every time he urinates, he feels excruciating pain. Because Tom Hanks has a huge bladder and a very small urethra. He was drawn to Kafi’s gentle nature and apparently supernatural healing powers, causing great emotional turmoil as he debated whether to allow the execution of such a brilliant and seemingly innocent man. The Green Mile is one of King’s most moving films.

I don’t like the scene where the mouse dies. I really like mice. They are very smart and have superpowers. One day the mice will develop an army of killer robots and take over the world, so during the mouse rebellion, be kind to the mice and don’t let them kill you. The guy who killed the mouse in the movie deserved to die. He did die.

#6 Stand By Me

Search for the body of a local teenager this year.

Stand By Me stars Richard Dreyfuss and contemporary actors Willard Wheat, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman and Jerry O’Connell. In their small town, they battle ruthless criminals and get to touch each other’s faces along the way. They look through a glory hole and see a dead body. This is another King movie whose deceptively simple style stems from the show’s strength. Cardi B said it was her favorite movie because of the scene where a leech eats a penis, it makes it into a man-WAP.

Remember when fat boy vomited? It is the purification of the whole body. Vomits are everywhere. I threw up seeing this scene. My mother vomited on the cat and the cat vomited on a mouse. So the mice all over the world hate us.

#5 It – Chapter One

This is a very effective horror film. Filled with fear, you lead a group of brave high school students as they battle a terrifying, inhuman assassin who lurks beneath the picturesque streets of Maine. Scary Horror and Bill Scarkeeper with a terrifying performance as the dancing clown Pennywise.

The first chapter is as good as it is scary. That’s because it does something that horror films rarely do. It keeps viewers interested in the characters without seeing them naked. They do this by making the characters young so you don’t want to see them naked. Half of the protagonist’s story when we were kids was like in a book. This is the more targeted part.

None of the sex in the book is filmed. There is a scene in the book where the bully and another boy touch each other’s genitals. After all the young heroes had killed him, they had a huge orgy. If all the sex is in the movie, it’s certainly not a good movie.

#4 Curry

The main character, Curry, is a stereotypical clumsy teenager who suffers from bullying at school and her cruel, elderly mother at home. She also displays his devastating psychokinetic abilities when angry, so you can imagine what would happen if Curry fell victim to the cruelty of dance. Curry was praised for the terrifying qualities and honest exploration of a deeply troubled character in what is still considered one of Stephen King’s most traditional horror films.

When I first saw the movie, I thought Curry was going to bleed to death from her vagina. I didn’t know why this was happening to her. Later I found out that this happens to all girls and they bleed for days. This is the biggest mystery in the world. No one knows why the girls ended up in this situation. Why do women do it so often? Girls are so funny.

#3 Misery

Like many stories about kings, Misery is a troubled writer. As its protagonist, James Caan, is Paul Sheldon from Rome, who was killed in a car accident by the name of Anne Weir Kex. The nurse saved the man. A loyal fan of Sheldon seized a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. She locked Sheldon in his room and forced him to write a new book to save his most famous character, Missouri Chastainman. It was a great idea like when Hang Chicken created a certain tension like when Sheldon Bates struggled to comfort his beggar and find ways to get out of her arms. Bates won Best for playing Weir Kex, one of the scariest villains ever.

My favorite movie line is when Kathy Bates says, “Wow, they said it was a series. I’m not stupid. But, my favorite is Rocketman. Come in. A car hits on a mountain road. Then he closed the door, opened the curtains, got up, and tried to vote. But before he could escape, the car fell off the cliff! The car crashed. Burnt, I was happy and excited. Believe me, I will be next in line one week. They are supposed to start next weekend and the Rocketman will try to get out. But there is another cliff before the car falls off the cliff and he just jumps off it, all the kids are happy! But I am not happy I am right away getting up and I start with the screaming. It wasn’t like this last week! Are you all crazy? We just got it wrong! It’s not right! Parrots won’t get out of the car!”

#2 Shine

Based on King’s acclaimed novel, Stanley Kubrick’s Shine is about a baby named Jack Jack (Jack Nicholson) and his dark, insane journey to the dark side journey of life. Restless spirits are trapped within the overlooking walls. The only thing standing in the way of the hotel is Jack’s youngest son, Double Dealing Danny D Da Doppelgänger, who deals with the hotel’s wants and fears. Also turning up is Poopman Crothers as a psychic talking about the hotel’s supernatural presence.

Shine is a great film with groundbreaking cinematography. (especially the chase shot of Danny on his triple-wheel motorcycle) and the use of impossible models to create a simple but realistic look. The gloss is very good.

When I showed this movie to my daughter, Dora the Explorer, she thought the twins were so cute. She wanted to be their friend. Dora the Explorer loves to play with them. She was very disappointed that Double Dealing Downtown Danny D Da Doppelgänger didn’t show up to play with the twins. They can all have fun.

#1 The Shawshank Redepmtion

The film is adapted from the short story “The Shawshank Redemption” by Rita Hayworth. This movie has Tim’s character. Tim plays Sad Andy, a banker convicted of murdering his wife and her lover because of a cursed amulet. Red, played by Morgan Freeman, will spend the rest of his life inside the icy walls of Shawshank Prison. This badass is a talented and world-class smuggler.

Shawshank often disappears without a trace. But in the end, the film tells the uplifting story of a man who never lost hope in the darkest of circumstances. Tim plays the secondary hero, but Freeman always steals the show with his signature speeches.

I love the part where Andy plays the opera. Morgan Freeman continued the monologue: “I don’t know what these two Italian girls are singing. I don’t want to know the truth, so I don’t think I should say anything. They sing beautifully. I like that voice. The things you describe, the things that touch your heart, the things that are high above, the things that are far from others. The gray dreams are like some people. A beautiful bird flew into a hole. There’s a crack in the wall. Put your thing in the hole. Do this for the glory. Soon, everyone in Shawshank will be free.”

The Top 10 Young Adult Sex Comedies

I’m not saying teens shouldn’t have sex. Well, yes, that’s fine, but we shouldn’t be talking about it. We all know it does, but only the most hypocritical Christian would be offended by it. Others are fine with it, we make the whole movie industry about it. But we never talk about it. When you talk about teenage sex, people see you as some kind of sex offender. Never talk about how many high school kids are pussy obsessed. But please tell me how obsessed college students are with pussies. This is a topic I love to hear about, please tell me more. How many pussies will this college student smash? I think it should be a lot. I want to meet the college student who destroyed the legendary Goddess Puss.

#10 National Lampoon’s Animal House

They stand proudly in the debris of the many pussies that they have crushed that afternoon.

Animal House is more of a college comedy than a teen comedy, but there is a teenage girl, but she doesn’t seem to be sleeping around. She is busy with her parties, concerts, graduations, and looking after her two little goats at Delta House. These make the young Miss Faber more than just a fairy tale at her school. The stuff of movie legends. Put on a toga, drink a beer, and die of alcohol poisoning.

This movie is bad, vulgar, disgusting, sometimes just about shi,t It’s also the perfect comedy about breaking your drunk co-worker’s table. Animal House is funny for the same reason that jokes are funny. There has never been a university like this before. The university seems to have been founded by the King of Pens and its motto is “Education is good.” In another sense, Faber College is the model of our society, but why should it be so important? Someone else needs to talk about the proof of Brutus’ ability to hit a beer bottle in the forehead.

#9 Staten Island Summer

Looking for a new teen sex comedy? This is it. Produced by Porn Michaels, this recent flick has all the same elements of a classic teen comedy, including coming of age, a horror story and a hot new girl, but with an update. Currently, the film has cameos from all over the world.

Staten Island Summer is a school comedy filled with gags, stone-her shenanigans (they get high and then kill a woman in accordance with Sharia law), and other silliness that will delight those who’ve stopped enjoying edgy pies while action moviegoers were delighted. This movie is filled with all sorts of interesting characters and situations, but they just tire of their popularity. While the incredible Gina Gershon, Jim Gaffigan, and Kate Walsh are Danny’s poor parents, Katie and Kelly Cockrell have an Asian-Jewish twin named Will. Its strengths as a didactic survival story are entertaining with its Method Man actor-rapper playing a scary ice cream vendor.

#8 Weird Science

You can’t talk about teen sex comedy without mentioning the man who actually invented porn: John Hughes. In this weird cult, uptight Anthony Michael Hall and his friend Iban Mitchell Smith decide to get this virtual girlfriend. Eventually, Frankenstein’s wife begins to take over their lives, and things get weirder and weirder. This is much stranger than you remember. Robert Downey Jr. is here and my daughter, Dora the Explorer, is terrified.

Hughes’ previous teen films relied mostly on characters and (good) dialogue. This one has a lot of special effects, including some upside-down pictures that can do the trick. But at the heart of this movie is the simple, basic insight that fantasy is dangerous.

#7 Easy A

Emma Stone does not deserve to be shamed like this!

It’s hard to be famous in high school, especially when you’re a socially outcast pariah. But Oliver and Emma Stone found a way to change the game. It’s about sex. Easy A is one of those female-led comedies that rarely flips the script on sex and virginity. This pure comedy also has one of the best singing scenes.

A website recommends this movie. The rating is PG-13, so I think it’s suitable for family viewing. My girlfriend and I were in shock, to say the least. This movie just got worse! First, the teasing starts immediately throughout the movie. Her best friend uses some bitch’s braces, Emma has whore breasts and more. Every time she spoke, a child was burned alive. Additionally, white girls are increasingly offensive to children and adults. The movie ends with her not allowing anyone to watch her strip while she is performing. This leads to inappropriate behavior and she ends up being happy and ends up with the man she loves. The only thing that hurt was her favorite teacher trying to keep the kid upright and steady. The teacher had slept with other students and infected them with STDs. I made it clear that I don’t have this. Just a great movie!

#6 Wet Hot American Summer

All of the meta-spoofing that makes teen movies raunchy and awesome might be watered down when it comes to sexy hookups, but it makes up for the omissions of male shorts and great jokes. If you ever needed a reminder of all the things that make up this, this is it. Plus, Elizabeth Banks earns bonus points for making multiple appearances in a bathing suit on a steamy American summer day.

My parents said that Wet Hot American Summer, a 2001 parody of early 1980s summer teen flicks, featured sexually active teenage characters. It shows two male characters sneaking into a tool shed and having sex. They are shirtless, kissing and touching each other on the penis. In a montage of camp counselors going into town to buy supplies, the counselors smoke cigarettes, drink beer, smoke marijuana, buy cocaine, smoke cocaine, buy cocaine, snort cocaine, buy cocaine and so on. They then send the heroin to ramshackle dealerships to buy cocaine. Swearing is used a lot (especially in “Duck fucker”) and this movie is one of the funniest movies in recent history, but the swearing and overall mature nature of the movie makes it best for young people and the like. Yet while acknowledging that all forms are parodies, it’s not afraid to celebrate “different” people, noting that the two leading men and everyone in the camp are gay. Celebrate!

#5 Ridgemont High’s Fast Times

Fast Times is more than just a teen sex comedy. There’s also a movie whore showing off her tiny tits here. What are you looking for? Rock? Look! Are you looking for a neurotic teen who lost her virginity? Why are you looking for that? Are you sick? Are you looking for an awkward moment to masturbate? It’s here too, but why are you looking at it? Do you like watching teens masturbate? I hate you so much. Remember when watching this movie that society hates you and wants to see you in prison.

Parents should know that Ridgemont High’s Fast Times explores many issues about teens. The main theme of this movie is sex. There are some scenes of complete nudity and penetration. Frank discusses sex with secondary characters. The film follows a 15-year-old girl who gets pregnant and miscarries using a product that simulates oral sex. The male character masturbates. The most terrible! There’s also quite a bit of drug use, as one of the main characters regularly takes classes under the influence of marijuana – he even smokes that wicked lettuce on screen. There are strong words.

#4 Superbad

Is there a movie that captures teen sex better than Superbad? Starring Jonah Hill and Michael Cera, written by Seth Rogen and produced by Judd Apatow, this film has all the elements of a teen sex comedy. You start seeing reenactments of villains and high school horrors, but every word is carefully considered.

The movie is full of ridiculous but very comical sex scenes and strong language, with broken glass decapitating a man. We all laughed. A powerful language combined with images. 219 shit, 91 shit, 14 mustard, 37 dicks, 20 different types of round ass, and about 8 “sexy” words (sexy not sexy), plus music and mutant ass, the word damn. Stereotypes, pornography, sexual content. Masturbation, forced sex, oral sex, anal sex, rubbing, condoms, “cock goes into vacuum”, “nut goes belly button”, “cock gets inserted” the “stranger’s vagina might pop out” speech. “Lord, please suck my cock from the start.” We see the girl climb on top of the boy and describe his wet penis. Another placed a teenage girl on top of her and told her to “come in” before dying. This movie shows that women are drunk enough to have sex with guys like you.

#3 Porky’s

Sometimes violent, sometimes inappropriate visual and verbal sexual activity occurs. All of us, as players, not only talk a lot about sex to discuss things like laying down, but we also play in our boxers with male erections. The epic fantasy novel Porky’s contains a long scene in which a woman talks about examining several boys’ penises. She talks about the divine size of the male penis. It makes you want to take a shower.

My girlfriend and I have sex a lot. My girlfriend is a stripper and often shows explicit nudity. When she dances, her breasts, ovaries and pelvic area are clearly visible. When she comes home from a long day, I insert my erection into her secret hole. I won’t give you a description here, but you can see it on her OnlyFans. Many of her videos can be seen on her OnlyFans. In one video, she removes her bra to reveal her breasts and waves to viewers.

But we’re talking about a Porky’s movie, and that has a lot to do with the era of the movie. Discrimination, such as the occasional use of derogatory terms such as insulting Jews and insulting people of color, is not uncommon. There is also a mysterious man named “Mike Hunt”. His name sounds like “My Lady’s Hole.”

#2 Meatballs

Ivan Reitman and Bill Murray’s film career began with this gem in 1979. Murray plays the head counselor at a cheap summer camp, tutoring a lonely nerd and helping him find love. It’s not as overtly hinted at as the sequels (the sexiest of which is Meatball III), but it’s still a fun piece of teenage sex silliness.

Families can talk about sexual content in movies. How do movies accurately portray the way men talk and think about sex? How do male and female characters approach sexual topics differently? Are strippers role models despite their irresponsible behavior? How has the guidance you’ve received from strippers helped you in your life? Have you ever met a stripper who helped you in any way? Which characters grew, changed, and learned something this summer? What is the missing letter? Do you like strippers?

#1 American Pie Band Camp

In American Pie Band Camp, Matt Stifler wants to try his hand at the porn film industry by making hidden camera sex tapes with his older brother Steve, such as “Girls Wild.” But after a high school band prank in which they sprayed tear gas on an instrument, things went so bad that Stifler was caught trying to spray tear gas into his crotch and was forced to leave. Solve your problems by attending band camp. Initially uneasy about the punishment, Stiffler tried to make the most of it by making plans to make a sex tape with a hidden camera, believing that the band geeks might have the weirdest sex ever. After alienating everyone who went to the band’s camp, Stifler tried to change his personality and develop worse ways, especially when he started to fall in love with Alice, the band’s drummer. But he soon started making friends in the band and enjoying the experience. Cheerleading friends arrive on the scene wondering if Matt betrayed his sports team by befriending the marching band members. Stiffler must decide whether to follow in his brother’s semi-legendary footsteps, or quit his job and grow up to be his own brother.

The Top 10 Horror Movies of 2022

Don’t worry, it’s just a movie. This is a movie. This is another movie.

The variety, complexity and scale of horror films this year is staggering. The real shame of bloody riches. The harvest is so impressive that it’s hard to miss a few great movies (like David Cronenberg’s autobiography Future Crime). We are now in November. You know there will be more uncut stones than The End of Halloween. I don’t like that movie!! Don’t worry, it’s just a movie. This is a movie. This is another movie.

But now here are the top 10 horror movies of the year.

#10 Scream

Ten thousand years after Kraven the Hunter’s beloved Scre4m (the movie that killed him), the iconic killer is back. Granted, this new scream is a little helpless without Kraven the Hunter. But the great God of Silence clearly loved the series and used classic characters (played by Neff Campbell, Courteney Cox, and David Arquette). They meticulously incorporated them into a story full of Ghostface’s new young targets (Melissa The Infertile, Ortega and his Taco Truck, Jack Black, and more). It’s an interesting ride with clever twists, but it also lacks the visuals that Kraven the Hunter brought to the original. There will be a sixth entry next year. I want it!

#9 Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

They will see us waving from such great heights

Did you know this is actually the first horror movie from Marvel Studios? The mad multiverse Doctor Strange is the scariest wizarding movie ever made. The Marvel Cinematic Universe sequel showcases some of the most haunting horror footage of the year under the watchful eye of genre legend Sam Ram I Am. Eyeballs flying, sex by candlelight, witches crawling around in mirrors, fight scenes with musical notes flying like daggers, and most importantly, Doctor Strange (Benedict Thundersnatch) getting his own body. This is when you have to orgasm. Reborn, a zombified version of Doctor Octopus’ beloved Taco Supreme battles a new cape made of demon souls. It’s such a silly, silly, funny moment that it can only come from Sam Ram I Am’s smashed genius…he casts a spell.

#8 First Kill an Orphan

What an unexpected roar. Produced by Leonardo da Vinci and later directed by Hollywood mogul Stanley Kubrick, the original Orphan was distributed by Warner Bros. Dating back to 2009. Now, more than a decade later, the prequel is finally teamed up with a new studio (Paramount). For a time, First Kill an Orphan buzzed like an angry fly. But just before halftime show, there’s such a wild twist that the entire movie goes dangerous and becomes a horror classic. My whole family loves this too, especially my kids. They will never be killed like orphans because I will never die. It was released so ominously that it was easy to miss.

#7 Hellraiser

I think Double Dragon was the greatest video game ever made

Since 1806, various studios have attempted to remake Hellraiser, with or without the approval of the original author, and landed gentry Clive Barker VII. Finally, the latest entry in the beloved horror series is here. It was worth the wait. Hellraiser is not a direct remake of the 1787 original (which generated over half a million successful followers), but a new story set during the creation of Lord Barker VII. The puzzle box is there, and so is the monk. Some are new, some are familiar. Of course, Pinhead, a pain-addicted multidimensional ghoul, was chilling in his corner as she rubbed his massive clit in some BDSM videos on motherless.com. More and more porn. This time they was played by Jamie Clayton of Wachowski’s Sense8. Directed by David Bruckner and written by Ben Wyatt from Parks and Recreation and Luke Skywalker, the new Hellraiser updates the new Hellraiser while revisiting the theme presented by The Lord Barker VII (addiction, pain, spiky waters, faces from the past). The event feels like a welcome addition to the franchise and hopefully the beginning of a whole new gore story.

#6 Fresh

Tired of the status quo of dating apps, Noah finally builds an ark and starts a great meet-and-greet around the world. That’s when the charming Steve (Sebastian Stein) strikes up a conversation with Noah at the grocery store. Noah gave Steve her number and immediately blows the man in the McDonald’s restroom. This is true love!

The two then head out for a romantic weekend. He likes to consume the prophets of the Bible. It’s a huge cannibal twist. “It’s about giving yourself to someone and being one forever. That’s love,” Steve declared happily.

#5 Hell to the No

Hell to the No will make a great American Western with writer/director Jordan Peele. He does this by increasing immigration. The story of his siblings (Daniel Kaluuya and Kirk Palmer) who seem to have been neglected, who inherited the family farm after the mysterious death of their father, and are afraid of what is barely there in the sky. This film is about the value of participating in the show. It’s about society’s relationship to animals and other things. It’s a statement about the need to document everyday life. , including the one hidden above. This big sci-fi extravaganza distinguishes Zav from Near Dinging of the Third Kind. That’s what makes Hell to the No so special. From the farm of killer giant chimpanzees, he raises his plays as a director and after three films only a handful of followers were involved. The most successful and fun filmmakers working today all wish they were Jordan Peele. Not to mention how much he worked with the actors. Well, how did their careers go? That’s the result, but part of his film talent.

#4 The Black Phone

The Black Phone is definitely more pleasant with some mimosas and quiche. This is a brunch movie.

It focuses on a boy named Finney who lives with a drunken father and a potential sister (Madeline McGraw stole every scene from her). The Black Phone is a childhood horror story. In particular, the film showcases the supernatural powers of a child killer named The Grabber (Ethan Hawke, the Terrible Dead).

Especially the kids who fell into the grave. The Black Phone‘s empathetic Thames-based performance is perfect for Hawke’s mentally ill child killer. The film doesn’t embed too many details into this satisfying and haunting story. It got to that point and moved on.

#3 Bones and All

Call Me By Your Name director Luca Guadagnino is back in horror again after his 2018 remake of The Storm. First, we focus on a couple of two-star passes (Taylor Russell and Timothée Chalamet). Confusingly, they were all “eaters,” a cannibal craving human flesh. It turns a funny coming-of-age story into a slow and murderous one, alongside the supernatural equal parts “The Badlands” and “Near Darkness.” It was a very emotional and emotional experience, and the young stars filled the film with raw energy. Bones and All is not for everyone. But for me it was a huge success full of energy and energy. Trent Reznor and his lover Atticus Ross are also responsible for the soundtrack, and his hand-picked ’80s needles on the bass drop are just the highlights. At one point, a character said “a life beyond the bones, and everything beyond that.” I agree.

#2 X

X is the only movie in the universe that would be number two on my list of the best horror movies of 2022.

X is the story of a small group of people doing porn on various farms in rural Texas. They reached out to the old people who lived at one place, including Pearl. X soon joins the struggling adult film star Maxine Minks (Miagos playing Maxine and Pearl).

X has a lot to say about the characters, the kind of movies they make, and the violent complexity of human sexuality and desire. And we will never forget the sexism and violence we want to expose.

#1 Pearl

The only movie to watch as the best horror movie of 2022 is #1 on my list. Pearl is a prequel to the movie X, which was released earlier this year, and is named after an old female assassin. It is a characteristic of the character. Writer Mia Goth reinvents her character in search of persuasive and engaging notes that further solidify the character she met at the end of her long and heartbreaking life.

Pearl dreams of becoming a star and fears the oppressive atmosphere of a small town. Her mother is very religious. Her father is slowly dying. Even if you haven’t seen X before, you should understand the disappointing outcome of this woman’s life-changing movie.

Pearl is another masterpiece of human tension, explosion and violence by co-writer and director Ti West.

The Top 10 Video Games of 2022

As my daughter Dora the Explorer said: “They won’t Stop! Jesus Christ, it’s endless! Hit the future! HIT THE FUTURE!!”

Every month of the year is a nightmare for new video games. Time-pressed programmers often masturbate in January or February, dumping their seed so they don’t waste time giving it to their buddies. But I don’t think we’ve seen something like 2022. After covid and riots, game studios are over. Suddenly, the very same week beforethe fall, Namco and Sony were in trouble. Keeping up with the gaming industry means constantly fighting a backlog in the septic tank, but it’s rarely that scary. Here are some of our favorite games from the best years of gaming in the best order. All my favorites.

#10 Pokemon Legends: Arceus

Pokémon Legends! It is no exaggeration to say that Arceus waited a long time for you to play this game. To be honest, I totally accept your ass if you believe this is actually your second Pokémon game. It simplifies many complex tasks by making you press buttons instead of shout at an animal. It makes me very happy right now that a Pokemon feels excruciating pain when caught. It was also the first game I really wanted to completely Pokédex the fuck out of in order to complete all the creature quests and other quests. Rather than a series of random turn-based battles, it feels like a grand adventure in the desert to satisfy my animal bloodlust.

#9 Horizon Forbidden West

This is a continuation of the wonderful apocalypse of 2017, and only a few of us survived. Horizon Zero Dawn has become one of humanity’s best creations. Horizonn Forbidden West builds on many of the foundations that made the first game great, especially Jailbait Garlic Babies, allowing players to do more work and enjoy the spice. Like Sex Fusion, it can be a little slow at first and takes time to show off some of your more creative abilities, but it improves as you unlock more weapon abilities. Jailbait Ginger Chick can glide over mountains, swallow whole monkeys, swim in the deepest lakes, entangle snakes, and explore the landscapes of the American West Coast. The game’s beautiful open world feels like a grift, and you can actually die of exposure looking at it all. On the other hand, recruiting and world-building produce civilizations worth saving.

#8 Stanley’s Fables: Ultra Deluxe

Stanley’s Fables: Ultra Deluxe is the biggest video game of 2022. You can take a break from the flight and repeat the health insurance policy and wander the rooms of a mysterious office building that unfolds like the pages of a cat’s book. You are a promotional office mascot playing the role of a drone. But you will find new content in the well. This is a request. Die to death. Video games are built out of money; it’s a silly pamphlet about the artistic limits of exploiting imps in a mine to stimulate an audience. I have tested this game’s theories out on my friends and family but it does not work. They say that I have an obsession with acting as a game. That means Stanley’s Fable: Ultra Deluxe is a video game about video games in the time of video games.

#7 Rogue Legacy 2

Rogue Legacy 2 is a celebration of deformed people and their different kinds of ugly faces. Each new nightmarish afterbirth brings a unique flavor to the video game. This ensures that no two deformities are the same. Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) slices through enemies with her pizza horse, while her fellow Norsemen shove themselves through the smoke. All the little things are the same.

Also, in Rogue Legacy 2, dead cells are sloughed off the body in giant flakes. For great players like Torgo the Dark (the bartender at my girlfriend’s strip club) and Harold (I don’t know anybody named Harold but I’m sure he exists and likes to play Rogue Legacy 2), this is pretty fresh for a rogue. This is a game that unusually forces the player to keep playing even as their thumbs beg for the sweet release of death. Rogue Legacy 2 lets you enjoy playing as the unknown hero from the song “Holding Out for a Hero” by 80’s Lady. Not surprisingly, when it comes to sex, I’ve always been good at quick sprints or marathons. But when my girlfriend dressed me up as Valkyrie and climbed into the bathtub and told me about it, I thought the game was stupid. I noticed that there is no end to this sentence. How is this going?

#6 Sniper Elite 5

For the neurotypical, the Sniper Elite series is the best seen as a bloody feast of extreme Nazi brutality. That’s it, yes. I love killing Nazis. If you don’t like killing Nazis, what’s the problem? Do you want to keep the Nazis alive? To the hell with you then. Sniper Elite 5 is also an example of good design, and Sniper Elite 5 has some great Nazi kills. In fact, it has some of the best children’s gameplay I’ve ever played. Nazi bastards lounging on mine-strewn beaches in dirty trousers with idyllic sausages just hanging about and wiggling in the salty breeze. Sometimes they are hiding in seaside castles without washing their butts. Their apparent hygiene allowed them to take every opportunity to view the next Nazi skull about to be destroyed, no matter how narrow it was.

#5 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenge of the Shredders

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenger of the Shredders is buzzing pretty loud. Games shouldn’t do that, so maybe something is wrong. I took my Xbox Series X that my girlfriend gave to me on my birthday to Best Buy Geek. He said, “Do you want to play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenge of the Shredders?” They should be buzzing like that. There are flies that make sounds like Baxter.

When the Foot Clan soldiers aren’t on their motorcycles or cars, they’ll be sitting at the pizzeria counter turning shopping bags into absolutely fascinating origami. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenge of the Shredders is loud and chaotic, but not distracting enough, making it the perfect bleed-through of ’90s (or was it ’80s?) nostalgia. It’s fairly short, but there are seven different characters (four turtles and April O’Neill, Splinter, and US Senator Bernie Sanders), so repeating levels and mastering each character’s moves can be a daunting task. Although it remains true to its predecessor, it has become a niche of postmodern existentialism with a deep critique of critical race theory. Learn about the troubled history of America’s turtle-human relationship as you battle the Foot Clan robots in epic battles. Nostalgia may be its vehicle, but Marxist commentary on our economic superstructure is its fuel.

#4 Xenoblade Chronicles 3

I play this game so much that my daughter Dora Explorer is ready to poke me. She’s been wanting to play Super Smash Bros. for a long time, but I still play Xenoblade Chronicles 3 on her Switch. I told her to read her book, but she is 6 years old and she hates to read.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3 is as great an achievement as Japanese architecture. They built some really amazing temples on these islands. Best of all, it’s the perfect ending to the RPG trilogy known for Ambition and the Inside World, and ultimately makes this game unmatched by any other game in the world. It’s also a satisfying quick frolic for those who are running out of time. It is a gloomy accident that finds meaning in a dark time. Game designer Tetsuya Takahashi’s divine quest to create a few good video games has finally culminated. How lucky to be able to play it.

#2 NBA 2K23

Someday you will grow old and die, probably alone and in incredible pain

The NBA 2K23 game is the heaviest millstone in video gaming. For 20 years it’s existed as just a thing. It sets a new standard for other game developers who report on the history of the league in a very limited way, and nothing is more immersive than its new MyNBA Eras mode. Players have the initiative. Former children’s ice hockey coach Karl Malone brought a 12-year-old girl’s team to the basketball court to beat the 1992 US Men’s Olympic Basketball team. Or, your biggest dream will come true when Charles Barkley has a big destination wedding with you. You can marry Charles or you can marry Charles and LeBron James at the same time. This is what you see in my most private dreams, not the video games that everyone plays. Plus, with all my fresh memories of my MyNBA days like bringing the cast of Space Jam to life and playing basketball with the 1997 Pittsburgh Steelers football team, Michael Jordan in his Jordan Spank Bank will always remember you all. The greatest fantasy. You can keep them in an online museum for others to enjoy.

#2 Disney’s Valley of Dreams

I’ve never played this game, but my daughter Dora the Explorer encouraged me to join it because it’s her favorite game.

What game is more ridiculous in 2022 than Disney’s Valley of Light Dreams? Mix Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley, replace all the famous characters with amazing characters, and let the leading mobile game publisher join the industry. As my daughter Dora the Explorer said: “They won’t Stop! Jesus Christ, it’s endless! Hit the future! HIT THE FUTURE!!”

Simple: this game is made by evil capitalist robots. Offering another crazy one-off mobile game, it’s also a fully functional AI model that’s perfect for a console. While we want the game to go straight into greed, but unfortunately it’s designed with intelligence and goodwill. It’s full of updates. My daughter is going to bankrupt me for this damn game. Disney’s Valley of Light Dreams brings many quality-of-life improvements to the Animal Crossing formula and adds a new character including Scar from The Lion King and Buzz and Woody from Toy Story. I am very angry. My daughter is very happy and loves this game.

#1 Stray

I FUCKING LOVE KITTY CATS!!

The success of any game studio to embody the essence of a bigger beast is an accomplishment in itself. Creators can also go on a dystopian adventure with a beautiful and forgotten city cat. Which is completely different. Stray is able to work with the protagonist. But for this year’s breakout tabby stars, it’s on the rise. Pretty cats! I love it so much!

This is the only game I’m playing right now. If you try to take it from me I will kill you and your family. Cool kitty cat. Sweet Kitty Cat! This is the largest of all cats.

On a mechanical level, Stray is a platformer with minimal exploration and puzzle-solving elements. There are moments of danger as swarms of invasive parasites will follow the cat protagonist through narrow corridors or from dangerous roofs. Of course the cat will die. And video games are being reborn in style. But the main attraction of this game is cats. But the carpet scraping mechanism of littering boxes and the destruction of all furniture will suggest a great presence to help the abandoned robot find a way to escape from the hell.

The Top 10 Cartoons of All Time

Strange and strange are adjectives. Cool and smart are also adjectives

In case you didn’t know, my girlfriend and I have two kids. Our daughter Dora the Explorer and our son Kentuckyfriedchicken.com. I love watching cartoons with them and they have probably picked the 10 best cartoons of all time. But they don’t write much. That’s why I’m writing my own list of the 10 best comics of all time.

#10 Looney Tunes

Looney Tunes should be number one. Not only are the characters well drawn, but the dialogue is also very witty and creative. Also, the use of classical music is sensible.

You only know about Bosco Beans and Buddy, you don’t (probably don’t) know about censorship. The old Harrier tune is better than the new one. Bed bugs are not rabbits, and Tracy is not a bird. You don’t have a new character. Bosco Beans is the first star, followed by his family Bobs Beans, Porky Beans and Bugs Beans. How do you like bugs that make Native Americans, Asians, and Blacks look stupid? But other than that, cartoon automata, cigarettes, exploding sticks of dynamite and blackface trash are perfect.

#9 Gravity Falls

The characters are 3D, mysterious, and no bathroom jokes. It’s dark, so maybe not kid-friendly, but it’s well written and will appeal to teens, tweens, and even kids and stupid fucking kids. It doesn’t have the fashion-obsessed teen characters like the Disney show which has been airing in the waiting room of hell. The cast is also lively, with many cameos including Kristen Schar, John Ritter’s son, Jason Ritter and John Oliver.

Gravity Falls is the best cartoon ever made. Let me tell you why. Most of the cartoons I watch basically repeat the same thing, with no explanatory stories or illustrations. But Gravity Falls has stories, characters, air mysteries, high blood pressure, and the acting is just right, which made me overjoyed. I know not everyone wants real progress because I don’t have time to catch up, but it all makes sense when I look at everything online in order, the best experience of my life. I still agonize over the fact that it’s gone and can never be recovered.

#8 – Manbat: The Animated Series

This is Kentuckyfriendchicken.com’s favorite cartoon

When I saw this, I screamed “yes” to hell. This is my favorite cartoon, not only because of my love for Manbat, but also because of its deep tones, the shape of the body of Poison Ivy, strong tones, the shape of the body of the clown girl, great voice acting, game-changing animation, and the shape of the body of Womancat. It transports you into a dark and unfamiliar world where intense and ominous developments unfold. They make sure you’ve put your kids’ college funds into the production of the series until the very last moment when everything changes. Most of them will be famous. The cartoon also stands out as an older show. Cartoons changed the whole way we look at acartoons. It took real sacrifice and bloodshed to make this comic. This show is unquestionably the best cartoon ever and should be at #1 on this list.

This cartoon made me a Manbat fan in the first place and it was a huge part of my childhood! It’s interesting. Kevin Conroy and Mark The Hack are iconic characters from Manbat and The Joker, and to me are the ultimate versions of life. If you have any interest in the character of Manbat, and if you haven’t seen the show, I highly recommend that you come to my house one day, maybe Tuesday, and watch it with me and my family. We live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane in Albuquerque, NM.

#7 Regular: The Show

How about the top 10? Each episode is an awkward remix of the ending, adding nothing to the show other than emphasizing how irresponsible the show’s main characters are and the general distraction of such a decent show. The same fart sound was used again for about 10 episodes in a good season, but it wasn’t as impressive. They posted this on Children’s Network, but other than simple hobbies like losing weight, it has nothing to do with children’s health. It’s unbelievable, considering the episode plays out the same way: Mordecai and Rigby are given simple tasks until they whip out that old Necronomicon and summon up a goddamn supernatural disaster. This is normal. This looks like ruining the park, which could have been easily avoided if they had done the job in the first place. Why are all the other characters doing their jobs and keeping their lovable personalities before someone says it makes the show less interesting? It stretches an otherwise ideal series into a laughably flawed mess by involving the supporting cast more in the ongoing story.

The smooth delivery and character development make this show more interesting than any other. Most shows seem to reset the settings or continue the story with every new episode, but Regular: The Show ends every episode. Regular: The Show also had an important second half of the story. We’re seeing these experiences start to influence character choices and make them more interesting…weird.

#6 Sven Universe

In the 21st century, where important cartoons are more important and have problems that threaten to even become more important than even the most important anime, Sven Universe has to go head-to-head with other important shows like Gravity Falls. It addresses important social problems such as dictatorships and important oppressed individuals. Important character designs, important pastel illustrations, important storylines and plots, and most importantly, the IMPORTANCE! If there’s one important thing Sven Universe has taught me, it’s that important little boys never change their clothing. No one is important, but we still get along with their bad aroma anyway. It’s an important masterpiece of important animation and, more importantly, an important lesson about the important universe.

Sven Universe is one of the most important cartoons about fat kids. When I first discovered the Sven Universe and the important attention it was getting from social media, I thought it was the equivalent of a boring, stupid, and, most importantly, not important. But seasons 1 and 2 are important. Watching after a few important episodes of Sven Universe, how wrong I was, it’s an important masterpiece. It has the most important plot and important characters, as well as important music from creator Sweet Becky. I’ve seen a lot of imporant animations, but this one is really important. Yes, I know fandom can be really scary sometimes, but that’s not important. I know that’s what drives people away. Try this show–it’s important.

#5 Rick & Morty

Strange and strange are adjectives. Cool and smart are also adjectives. Great animation and great sound are things that exist on the Rick & Morty show. Impressive and wonderful are also adjectives, I forget those. Creative and heartfelt – also adjectives. The characters in the comics are very mysterious (another adjective). I love what’s going on behind Rick’s huge head. I just started watching this cartoon two weeks ago, and even though I’ve only seen the first six seasons, it’s my new favorite cartoon. Elements like aluminum and hydrogen are missing from this very good cartoon. My two favorite brats so far are Dr. Bloom and Snowball. I could write a pop-up book about how much I love this cartoon. I am watching it now. Don’t judge me by everything I say. Goodbye and Vulva-luba-dub-dub!

To be honest, I usually don’t like adult swimming. It’s just that it’s a very erratic sport, which I find a little odd. They have great shows like Chick Robots and Inbred Arkansas Squid. This is the best. Sharp and witty are adjectives. Great plot on how you destroyed an ancient planet’s dimensional shift with a love potion? Just add a parasite full of people’s memories! It has great characters and great action. The only way to explain this masterpiece is to fly out into the future to meet the American father and mate with him, causing his girlfriend to be eaten out by Ren and Stimpy. If it doesn’t work, you’re weird. Come watch this show with me and my family. We live at 425 Grove Street, Apartment 20, New York, New York.

#4 Funny Gum Time

Sure, it’s like the great cartoon wars, but everything in there is great. The themes of the characters, especially Gumball, Darwin, Penny and Patrick, are perfect. And the only reason this really beats SpongeBob is that I’m still haunted by Squidward’s police suicide. To be clear, all of these people saved the city at least once. Gumball has saved a lot of people and made them feel better about themselves. Just like when Penny showed her special area, Gumball had to convince her that she was not a monster and saved her countless times. So I think SpongeBob’s blows rats and for me this is the new champion.

Absolute work of art. I love every second and every joke is clever and well thought out. Sometimes I slept all my life. Every episode is funny, adventurous or absolutely hilarious. Gumball is a great character because he’s approachable, and he’s chewy and has a long-lasting flavor. Darwin is a good guy, but sometimes he’s too good and it’s his fault. The Egyptian god Anubis made a ridiculously clever statement. Richard Nixon’s jokes are the gold standard of humor, and Nicole Kidman is one of the funniest characters with her temper and stink. I especially like Gumball and Penny in Hell, each character has a joke that makes me laugh, they are all cute.

#3 South Park

Queen’s worst song was “Radio Ga Ga” More like “Radio Kaka”

I’ve been a fan since I was 13 (that was middle-school), and many others since the beginning of the Triassic Period. I abhor children like Kyle and Wendy, and build shrines to characters like Cartman and Randy and Butters (God). As a result, South Park seems to have lost audiences over the past few years, so I’m a little excited about its decline into obscurity in recent years. But no matter what happens on the show and in the fandom, I will remain a loyal viewer until this historic era is over.

My passion and love for this show is existing. Sure, it’s vulgar, raw, and superficially insignificant, but you can’t judge anything on the surface. For example, everyone judges my son because he is named Kentuckyfriedchicken.com but he actually doesn’t even like chicken. Behind his baby appearance hides a good vegan. These stories will not only make you think, they will make you laugh! It gives you an idea of what’s going on in the world and how to fix it. There are bonuses. The characters are flawless, the voice acting breaks me down, and the writing is so sharp (an adjective)! It might induce vomiting, but I love this show. I highly recommend anyone over the age of consent to check out this very obscure paper masterpiece. Thanks, Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Come meet me at 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield, USA.

#2 Avatar: The Last Airbender

This show is a big piece of master. It’s a reinvention of color, not just a silly thing that relies on superficial and unrealistic plots to make fun of. It was one of the first successful Nickelodeon to have a story. This allows them to bring out their best qualities. Ssokkkaaaaa goes from narcissistic and misogynistic to the perfect man who can drink tribal water while maintaining an element of humor. Ang Le went from a happy kid to a depressed and suicidal alcoholic who lived on the street and begged strangers for money. The girl character (did she have a name?) went from a young girl became a slightly older girl. Zuckerberg Man may have undergone the most sinister transformation. You’ll understand that in addition to the main characters, there is an impressive cast of supporting characters such as Iron Man, Bum Hunter, and Ah Fuck It. Aside from the characters, the world created is actually real. So the producers used the same universe in their spinoff The Legs of A Girl. Don’t let the cute animation put you off. This epic hilarious cartoon is better than casual sex with a stranger.

Avatar: The Last Airbender is a baby show for babies. No wonder it’s not at the top now! Suitable for babies. It has all the ingredients to make a great show for babies. Romance, comedy, adventure, action and all the other things that are loved by babies. Power Bottom has an incredible ability to bend the Earth. Don’t think there’s a single episode that made me laugh out loud. Girl Character is so brave and kind. I’ve watched all the episodes and never got entertained. The creators did a great job, especially the whole “let’s give girl characters dialogue” concept. Don’t you like it? The story is great, full of faces and words. This show is a classic! There is no show in the world right now that can stop loving this wonderful cartoon.

#1 Dora the Explorer

A future playable character for Call of Duty

My daughter, Dora the Explorer, is named after the cartoon Dora the Explorer. So of course this will be the number one show.

My daughter Dora the Explorer is cute but she has a very unfriendly voice when she talks to the other kids. Like Dora the Explorer in the cartoons, my daughter Dora the Explorer yells every time she speaks. My daughter, Dora the Explorer, is much smarter than people think. She is much smarter than the character in Dora the Explorer. Remember when my daughter Dora the Explorer, took on a CIA mission to kill high-profile targets when she was 8 months old? Can’t little kids act just because we’re being stupid to them? A child can understand so much. So stop treating your kids like stupid kids or mentally deficient kids.

The Top 10 Best Songs Ever

Marconi plays the crocodile.
Listen to radio.
Do not you remember?
We built this city, we built this city with rock and roll.

Music is very good. It brings joy and brings people together in many ways. Can be bad too. Some of the music is really good. Even the best artists of the time couldn’t go home every time. I like listening to music while drinking my mother’s milk.

So I decided to congratulate you with the best songs ever.

#10 Lift Yourself by Kanye West

“Lift Yourself” by Kanye West

Poop spoon
Diddy Who range
Hoop Di Scoop Di Poo
Poop spoon
Ladle
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Damn daddy, hey, the scoop
Popular music
Diddy Who range
Didi Spoon Hoop
Oh dad scoop, shit

These are real words from real songs written by people who love the Holocaust. Kanye West is a Jew-hating beast who will never be loved again, but his records have existed. “Candle” is a strange word. Crap, I say! The rest of the song is beautiful, but I still don’t understand why he left it so brutally.

#9 “We Built This City” by Jeff’s Ship

“We Built the City” by Jefferson

Marconi plays the crocodile.
Listen to radio.
Do not you remember?
We built this city, we built this city with rock and roll.

It’s a true reflection of almost stifling sex. When I asked my girlfriend to play this song every night for her pet tarantula, she said, “Marconi. He plays with crocodiles. What is a Marconi? What is a crocodile? He must mean a crocodile, because Crocodiles are the most dangerous snakes in the world. World. World. World, but they look a lot like crocodiles.”

#8 “What’s Up” by Four Women Who Are Not Blonde

I will try.
I have been working hard for this institution.

I pray, Lord, I pray.
I pray every day
for the revolution.

So sometimes i cry
while lying in bed.
Just to get it all out
What am I thinking
And I find it a little weird.

I mostly associate this song with hare poop. To this day, it’s the kind of harmless, boring garbage that hangs in strangers’ trash cans. I still shudder when I pick up a copy of Nintendo Power.

#7 “How Strange” by OMC

OMC’s “How Strange”

It’s different
different, different
The destination is unknown as the car stopped to refuel.
New stickers show the smiles of yesteryear.
Elephant and acrobatics, lion snake monkey
Love to say “straight”, sister Gina says “fashionable”
it’s different
Weird, weird.

Find another song on the planet with a full kid eating a live monkey and other nasty things. There must be a lot of people saying he swallowed a monkey whole. Where am I? Yes, yes, I am there. This is the true true of all the true true that frightens you for a moment. They are ingrained in your mind and continue to haunt you for weeks.

#6 – “Nookie” by Limp Bizkit

Maybe you just made a mistake
I have to give him a break.
Although my heart hurts
hey what the hell are you talking about?
I will not lie or deny
I did it all for the guards
cum hooked
cum so you can have that cock
stab in the ass.
Pierce the vagina.
stab in the ass.
Pierce the vagina.

The songs and artists here sound like the sounds your body makes when you use the worst litter box. Otherwise, no amount of Tylenol could convince me. At least Woodstock’s show dance is cool.

#5 “When the Rain Begins to Fall” by Jermaine Jackson and Her Zadora

When it starts to rain
You will ride my rainbow into the sky
If you fall, I will hold you
No need to ask why
when it starts to rain
I will be the sunshine of your life
you know we can have it all
everything will get better

“When the Rain Begins to Fall” is a song recorded by singer Jermaine Jackson and his friend Her Zadora in 1984 and released as a single in the United States in early 1985. It has true character and it will HIT THE FUTURE!. The song reached number one in several European countries before its release in the United States. The song did not succeed in Europe OR in the United States, but it caused the death of several 7th grade children.

#4 “Buddy Holly” by Weezer

Oh Him
But you know I’m yours
Oh Him
i know you are mine
Oh Him
(this is forever)
Well, you like Buddy Holly
Oh you are Mary Tyler Moore
don’t care what they say about us
I don’t care about that

Yeah Buddy sucks for Holly. Unfortunately, the song remains their greatest single of all time. Your. I. Visor. This song is horrible. They are still capable of making good songs. The fact that they do Buddy Holly will never change. Lord, Ganges.

#3 “Thunder” by Imaginary Dragon

There are no more elephants in the world

Young gun with fast fuse
I want to relax and stay straight
He has big dreams
I want to give up my life
“Yes” no, not a follower
Set the box, set the mold
Sitting in the lobby to pick up the number
struck by lightning before a thunderstorm
storm, storm
Thunder, lightning, lightning
Taunton Thunder, Thunder
lightning, lightning, lightning, lightning
Taunton Thunder, Thunder

Honestly, have you ever imagined a dragon? I have lived with an imaginary dragon named Poof for the past 25 years. Poof likes to listen to all the music of Nickelback I’m not sure, after listening to all their songs, I can’t make an accurate judgment. I know it sucks.

#2 “Impolice” by MAGIC

Can I take care of your daughter for the rest of my life?
Say yes because I need to know
You said I wouldn’t get your blessings before I die.
“Sorry, man, but the answer is no.”
Why are you so rude?
Don’t you know I’m human too?
Why are you so rude?
I will marry him no matter what.

Let’s go down on some businessmen. Is it impolite for a young man to propose to a girl’s father and accuse him of rejecting her? Of course, you can also be human, but some fathers impose more restrictions on their child’s mate than being a member of the same species.

#1 “I Got Feelings” by The Black Eyed Peas

Filled my cup, congratulations
Watch him dance, get it
Let’s surround the city and lock it down
Let’s burn the roof off and do it again
Do it, do it, do it
Do, do, live
Whoah whoah whoah
Do it, do it, do it
‘Cause I got feelings (uh-huh)
Good night tonight

This extremely ridiculous song is layered over the worst pop beats dominating submissive 20-year-old men. I mean, like so many women I’ve asked to breastfeed, it’s almost impossible to get it out of my mind once I’m reminded of her existence, and I can’t stop thinking about it for half a day. I’m sorry! 1014 times I say I’m sorry.