Kontributor

The Top 10 Worst Years in History

It’s called “The Big Sad” for a reason.

[Joe, make sure that you type text here to introduce your list. I’ll be home early from work tonight and make dinner for you and the kids. I love you!]

#10 1347

That was the time when the Black Death swept the world. terrible. Bodies piled up in the streets and people thought only of death.

But most embarrassingly, a giant skeleton named “Bonedor” stomped across Europe. He was 250 meters tall and said things like “Follow me” and “Go.” He had magical powers and cast the evil bubonics at everyone. Over 60% of Europeans died from Bonedor’s miraculous bubonics.

1347 was also a bad year for America because it didn’t exist yet.

#9 1929

Unless you don’t know what it’s like to be on the streets with your family and friends, with no money, cold, hunger, anemia, pneumonia, and many other diseases, without a chance to see anyone’s face. You have no right to say any year. In modern history, it’s worse than 1929, if you’re willing to pay at least a few extra years. It’s called “The Big Sad” for a reason. The Big Sad made people miserable. I can’t imagine how people today would deal with this disaster. We were very close in 2008. Thankfully people have no idea how much untold suffering humanity has suffered in the past year.

#8 2001

ITunes was launched on January 9, 2001. NEVER FORGET!

Back then, I was a young Kontributor. I have to say that the year before was really fun. We were all kicking ass and wrecking vaginas. My family and I went to Hawaii for vacation. I had sex with ten people on the streets of Rio de Janeiro during Carnival, and I got all sorts of diseases from it. My dad invented the car. I was enjoying my life until iTunes took over.

When iTunes was released, everything in life was ruined. My grandmother was involved in things like Napster. She survived but was terrified almost to death. The son of a whore named Henry Ford stole my father’s car patent. My German Shepherd attacked a kindergarten class. My brother and his friend and my dad’s secret girlfriend all went to jail after poisoning a homeless man. My mad dog betrayed me by attacking the children’s kindergarten. I spent Halloween alone. None of my friends wanted to hang out with me. Mom yelled all Thanksgiving because iTunes wouldn’t allow anyone to download Turkey Dinner. We didn’t eat much on Thanksgiving. At Christmas, my grandmother fell down the stairs while listening to her iPod. 2001 passed, and my life was ruined.

#7 536

I’m disappointed with the recent White Lotus incident. But scientists and historians show that 536 AD was the worst year ever. A volcanic eruption in Iceland blocked the sun for a year and a half, causing famine. The Yersinia plague was also there, and made it worse, which is part of why historians think it was the worst.

This was also the first year the Illuminati met to sing songs and praise Bonedor The Terrible. Pope Silverius was excommunicated from the papacy for summoning Bonedor the Terrible to obtain victory in the Great Gothic War. Bonedor the Terrible killed Theodahad, king of the Ostrogoths, and all his soldiers. For this heinous crime, Pope Silverius was banished to a secret island where he starved to death.

#6 2014

This is not my Dora! Who the fuck are these children of Bonedor?!

Where do I start? Ebola, Flight 370, Anaconda, Time cancellation, Death of Robin Williams, the beginning of the Bone Wars, Sonic the Hedgehog: Rise of Yiff, Taylor Swift’s war against Northern Agression, More Wars, Dora and her HORRIBLE friends debuted on Nickelodeon, Joe Cocker was going around kicking these dogs, no Alf on tv, someone tied up the president and ate that paper, the final Ramone bit the dust, five armies, bastards, frozen results, Uncle Grandpa is still on the air, and Modern Family sucks dicks for another Grammy.

This was easily the worst year of my life. Possibly many more years. The ISIS attack began, Dora and her friends made their television debut, and many celebrities were killed. The music sucked and the games were boring, except for naked girls soccer! Personally, I was bullied at work, my boss was terrible, and to make matters worse I lived in a two-story construction site because my house had an extension, and my grandma fell down the stairs again at the end of December! Falling down while listening to her iPod again! Looking back, it was a year of ups and downs.

#5 2017

2017 was the worst year of my life. That’s why.

My dog died.
I had to change the car’s oil once, but I forgot to change the car’s oil.
Too many boxes.
Many famous people died, such as Dan Rickles.
Somewhere a storm was blowing.
My sister broke her knee in a fight with Bonedor.
The cat had surgery.
Something bad was happening.
My younger brother lost both feet.
My family fought against Bonedor.
Emoji Movie
Donald Trump was not a kind president.
My grandmother heard the sound of her iPod and fell down the stairs.
Many bus drivers were late.
My girlfriend had typhus for a while.
I’m so glad 2017 is over! I never want to be hurt like that again.

#4 1914

There is no last year and the year before this year. Just because they’re bad for pop culture and education (very bad for them) doesn’t necessarily mean this year is a bad one. This defeats the purpose of the entire list. On the other hand, 1914… well, World War I started. That was a war that cost 72 billion lives! It’s not doing humanity any favors other than a special League of Gentlemen.

Imagine one of the Austrian elite being shot and forced to go to war in Europe. Imagine living a miserable (possibly short) life, only to be tricked into thinking it was a good thing. You’ll live in a muddy and disease-ridden trench filled with the droppings of thousands of rats until you’re shot, gassed, bombed, or killed from disease, exhaustion, or malnutrition. If you somehow survive the war, you will return home mentally unstable for the rest of your life, with no hope (but maybe not) of a normal, dignified future.

There were also flu patients this year.

#3 65,000,000 BC

A comet collided with Earth, blasting jets from the atmosphere, triggering the most powerful earthquake and largest tsunami in history, and the planet is quickly engulfed in fire and acid rain.

It also destroyed much of the ozone layer, causing ultraviolet rays to blanket the planet and giving cancer to all the dinosaurs. At the moment of impact, a giant volcano erupted on the other side of the planet, poisoning the planet. The war broke free from the onslaught, enveloped the entire planet, blocked all sunlight, and plunged the world into complete darkness. It then cooled below freezing, causing atomic winter to wipe out many life forms, including plants and dinosaurs.

Frankly, this period is the second worst year in non-human history, after 252,000,000 BC, the extinction of all life. These two are probably a million times worse than 1939 (the beginning of The Bonedor War) and 1347 (Plague Sex).

#2 1350

In 1350, 99% of the world’s population was fucking. Let’s not forget to mention a little disease called the Black Death which killed 3/5 of Europe. Imagine your friends and family get an infection, have sex, and die. This is the greatest hell the world can face.

Nothing good happened this year. Medieval Europe was having a bad time. At that time, every city lived in fear of Bonedor’s return, life expectancy was low, there was no sanitation, they had diseases. Many people go crazy with too much sex. They had sex while dying of the plague. People won’t even make porn out of it because it’s so gross.

#1 1939

1939 marked the beginning of an absolutely brutal War Against Bonedor that claimed trillions of lives and led to more division, death and torture in the long run. Ultimately, it took two nukes to destroy Bonedor’s army. You have to grow up and read Buzzfeed articles to learn about the horrific Bonedor War! seriously! The war with Bonedor lasted from 1939 to 1945. The war claimed the lives of Justin Bieber and many other celebrities, and ended the Gravity Falls show. The War Against Bonedor was the worst.

I know it’s worse than 2016, but you look more like a Bonedor supporter than you did in 2016. 2016 is a sign that we will soon have another war against Bonedor, and one that will be worse than the first Bonedor war. Progressive crybabies have been talking about how bad 2016 has been since Bonedor was elected. Do you think voting for someone is worse than going to war with Bonedor? Seriously educate people.

The Top 10 Young Adult Sex Comedies

I’m not saying teens shouldn’t have sex. Well, yes, that’s fine, but we shouldn’t be talking about it. We all know it does, but only the most hypocritical Christian would be offended by it. Others are fine with it, we make the whole movie industry about it. But we never talk about it. When you talk about teenage sex, people see you as some kind of sex offender. Never talk about how many high school kids are pussy obsessed. But please tell me how obsessed college students are with pussies. This is a topic I love to hear about, please tell me more. How many pussies will this college student smash? I think it should be a lot. I want to meet the college student who destroyed the legendary Goddess Puss.

#10 National Lampoon’s Animal House

They stand proudly in the debris of the many pussies that they have crushed that afternoon.

Animal House is more of a college comedy than a teen comedy, but there is a teenage girl, but she doesn’t seem to be sleeping around. She is busy with her parties, concerts, graduations, and looking after her two little goats at Delta House. These make the young Miss Faber more than just a fairy tale at her school. The stuff of movie legends. Put on a toga, drink a beer, and die of alcohol poisoning.

This movie is bad, vulgar, disgusting, sometimes just about shi,t It’s also the perfect comedy about breaking your drunk co-worker’s table. Animal House is funny for the same reason that jokes are funny. There has never been a university like this before. The university seems to have been founded by the King of Pens and its motto is “Education is good.” In another sense, Faber College is the model of our society, but why should it be so important? Someone else needs to talk about the proof of Brutus’ ability to hit a beer bottle in the forehead.

#9 Staten Island Summer

Looking for a new teen sex comedy? This is it. Produced by Porn Michaels, this recent flick has all the same elements of a classic teen comedy, including coming of age, a horror story and a hot new girl, but with an update. Currently, the film has cameos from all over the world.

Staten Island Summer is a school comedy filled with gags, stone-her shenanigans (they get high and then kill a woman in accordance with Sharia law), and other silliness that will delight those who’ve stopped enjoying edgy pies while action moviegoers were delighted. This movie is filled with all sorts of interesting characters and situations, but they just tire of their popularity. While the incredible Gina Gershon, Jim Gaffigan, and Kate Walsh are Danny’s poor parents, Katie and Kelly Cockrell have an Asian-Jewish twin named Will. Its strengths as a didactic survival story are entertaining with its Method Man actor-rapper playing a scary ice cream vendor.

#8 Weird Science

You can’t talk about teen sex comedy without mentioning the man who actually invented porn: John Hughes. In this weird cult, uptight Anthony Michael Hall and his friend Iban Mitchell Smith decide to get this virtual girlfriend. Eventually, Frankenstein’s wife begins to take over their lives, and things get weirder and weirder. This is much stranger than you remember. Robert Downey Jr. is here and my daughter, Dora the Explorer, is terrified.

Hughes’ previous teen films relied mostly on characters and (good) dialogue. This one has a lot of special effects, including some upside-down pictures that can do the trick. But at the heart of this movie is the simple, basic insight that fantasy is dangerous.

#7 Easy A

Emma Stone does not deserve to be shamed like this!

It’s hard to be famous in high school, especially when you’re a socially outcast pariah. But Oliver and Emma Stone found a way to change the game. It’s about sex. Easy A is one of those female-led comedies that rarely flips the script on sex and virginity. This pure comedy also has one of the best singing scenes.

A website recommends this movie. The rating is PG-13, so I think it’s suitable for family viewing. My girlfriend and I were in shock, to say the least. This movie just got worse! First, the teasing starts immediately throughout the movie. Her best friend uses some bitch’s braces, Emma has whore breasts and more. Every time she spoke, a child was burned alive. Additionally, white girls are increasingly offensive to children and adults. The movie ends with her not allowing anyone to watch her strip while she is performing. This leads to inappropriate behavior and she ends up being happy and ends up with the man she loves. The only thing that hurt was her favorite teacher trying to keep the kid upright and steady. The teacher had slept with other students and infected them with STDs. I made it clear that I don’t have this. Just a great movie!

#6 Wet Hot American Summer

All of the meta-spoofing that makes teen movies raunchy and awesome might be watered down when it comes to sexy hookups, but it makes up for the omissions of male shorts and great jokes. If you ever needed a reminder of all the things that make up this, this is it. Plus, Elizabeth Banks earns bonus points for making multiple appearances in a bathing suit on a steamy American summer day.

My parents said that Wet Hot American Summer, a 2001 parody of early 1980s summer teen flicks, featured sexually active teenage characters. It shows two male characters sneaking into a tool shed and having sex. They are shirtless, kissing and touching each other on the penis. In a montage of camp counselors going into town to buy supplies, the counselors smoke cigarettes, drink beer, smoke marijuana, buy cocaine, smoke cocaine, buy cocaine, snort cocaine, buy cocaine and so on. They then send the heroin to ramshackle dealerships to buy cocaine. Swearing is used a lot (especially in “Duck fucker”) and this movie is one of the funniest movies in recent history, but the swearing and overall mature nature of the movie makes it best for young people and the like. Yet while acknowledging that all forms are parodies, it’s not afraid to celebrate “different” people, noting that the two leading men and everyone in the camp are gay. Celebrate!

#5 Ridgemont High’s Fast Times

Fast Times is more than just a teen sex comedy. There’s also a movie whore showing off her tiny tits here. What are you looking for? Rock? Look! Are you looking for a neurotic teen who lost her virginity? Why are you looking for that? Are you sick? Are you looking for an awkward moment to masturbate? It’s here too, but why are you looking at it? Do you like watching teens masturbate? I hate you so much. Remember when watching this movie that society hates you and wants to see you in prison.

Parents should know that Ridgemont High’s Fast Times explores many issues about teens. The main theme of this movie is sex. There are some scenes of complete nudity and penetration. Frank discusses sex with secondary characters. The film follows a 15-year-old girl who gets pregnant and miscarries using a product that simulates oral sex. The male character masturbates. The most terrible! There’s also quite a bit of drug use, as one of the main characters regularly takes classes under the influence of marijuana – he even smokes that wicked lettuce on screen. There are strong words.

#4 Superbad

Is there a movie that captures teen sex better than Superbad? Starring Jonah Hill and Michael Cera, written by Seth Rogen and produced by Judd Apatow, this film has all the elements of a teen sex comedy. You start seeing reenactments of villains and high school horrors, but every word is carefully considered.

The movie is full of ridiculous but very comical sex scenes and strong language, with broken glass decapitating a man. We all laughed. A powerful language combined with images. 219 shit, 91 shit, 14 mustard, 37 dicks, 20 different types of round ass, and about 8 “sexy” words (sexy not sexy), plus music and mutant ass, the word damn. Stereotypes, pornography, sexual content. Masturbation, forced sex, oral sex, anal sex, rubbing, condoms, “cock goes into vacuum”, “nut goes belly button”, “cock gets inserted” the “stranger’s vagina might pop out” speech. “Lord, please suck my cock from the start.” We see the girl climb on top of the boy and describe his wet penis. Another placed a teenage girl on top of her and told her to “come in” before dying. This movie shows that women are drunk enough to have sex with guys like you.

#3 Porky’s

Sometimes violent, sometimes inappropriate visual and verbal sexual activity occurs. All of us, as players, not only talk a lot about sex to discuss things like laying down, but we also play in our boxers with male erections. The epic fantasy novel Porky’s contains a long scene in which a woman talks about examining several boys’ penises. She talks about the divine size of the male penis. It makes you want to take a shower.

My girlfriend and I have sex a lot. My girlfriend is a stripper and often shows explicit nudity. When she dances, her breasts, ovaries and pelvic area are clearly visible. When she comes home from a long day, I insert my erection into her secret hole. I won’t give you a description here, but you can see it on her OnlyFans. Many of her videos can be seen on her OnlyFans. In one video, she removes her bra to reveal her breasts and waves to viewers.

But we’re talking about a Porky’s movie, and that has a lot to do with the era of the movie. Discrimination, such as the occasional use of derogatory terms such as insulting Jews and insulting people of color, is not uncommon. There is also a mysterious man named “Mike Hunt”. His name sounds like “My Lady’s Hole.”

#2 Meatballs

Ivan Reitman and Bill Murray’s film career began with this gem in 1979. Murray plays the head counselor at a cheap summer camp, tutoring a lonely nerd and helping him find love. It’s not as overtly hinted at as the sequels (the sexiest of which is Meatball III), but it’s still a fun piece of teenage sex silliness.

Families can talk about sexual content in movies. How do movies accurately portray the way men talk and think about sex? How do male and female characters approach sexual topics differently? Are strippers role models despite their irresponsible behavior? How has the guidance you’ve received from strippers helped you in your life? Have you ever met a stripper who helped you in any way? Which characters grew, changed, and learned something this summer? What is the missing letter? Do you like strippers?

#1 American Pie Band Camp

In American Pie Band Camp, Matt Stifler wants to try his hand at the porn film industry by making hidden camera sex tapes with his older brother Steve, such as “Girls Wild.” But after a high school band prank in which they sprayed tear gas on an instrument, things went so bad that Stifler was caught trying to spray tear gas into his crotch and was forced to leave. Solve your problems by attending band camp. Initially uneasy about the punishment, Stiffler tried to make the most of it by making plans to make a sex tape with a hidden camera, believing that the band geeks might have the weirdest sex ever. After alienating everyone who went to the band’s camp, Stifler tried to change his personality and develop worse ways, especially when he started to fall in love with Alice, the band’s drummer. But he soon started making friends in the band and enjoying the experience. Cheerleading friends arrive on the scene wondering if Matt betrayed his sports team by befriending the marching band members. Stiffler must decide whether to follow in his brother’s semi-legendary footsteps, or quit his job and grow up to be his own brother.

The Top 10 Horror Movies of 2022

Don’t worry, it’s just a movie. This is a movie. This is another movie.

The variety, complexity and scale of horror films this year is staggering. The real shame of bloody riches. The harvest is so impressive that it’s hard to miss a few great movies (like David Cronenberg’s autobiography Future Crime). We are now in November. You know there will be more uncut stones than The End of Halloween. I don’t like that movie!! Don’t worry, it’s just a movie. This is a movie. This is another movie.

But now here are the top 10 horror movies of the year.

#10 Scream

Ten thousand years after Kraven the Hunter’s beloved Scre4m (the movie that killed him), the iconic killer is back. Granted, this new scream is a little helpless without Kraven the Hunter. But the great God of Silence clearly loved the series and used classic characters (played by Neff Campbell, Courteney Cox, and David Arquette). They meticulously incorporated them into a story full of Ghostface’s new young targets (Melissa The Infertile, Ortega and his Taco Truck, Jack Black, and more). It’s an interesting ride with clever twists, but it also lacks the visuals that Kraven the Hunter brought to the original. There will be a sixth entry next year. I want it!

#9 Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

They will see us waving from such great heights

Did you know this is actually the first horror movie from Marvel Studios? The mad multiverse Doctor Strange is the scariest wizarding movie ever made. The Marvel Cinematic Universe sequel showcases some of the most haunting horror footage of the year under the watchful eye of genre legend Sam Ram I Am. Eyeballs flying, sex by candlelight, witches crawling around in mirrors, fight scenes with musical notes flying like daggers, and most importantly, Doctor Strange (Benedict Thundersnatch) getting his own body. This is when you have to orgasm. Reborn, a zombified version of Doctor Octopus’ beloved Taco Supreme battles a new cape made of demon souls. It’s such a silly, silly, funny moment that it can only come from Sam Ram I Am’s smashed genius…he casts a spell.

#8 First Kill an Orphan

What an unexpected roar. Produced by Leonardo da Vinci and later directed by Hollywood mogul Stanley Kubrick, the original Orphan was distributed by Warner Bros. Dating back to 2009. Now, more than a decade later, the prequel is finally teamed up with a new studio (Paramount). For a time, First Kill an Orphan buzzed like an angry fly. But just before halftime show, there’s such a wild twist that the entire movie goes dangerous and becomes a horror classic. My whole family loves this too, especially my kids. They will never be killed like orphans because I will never die. It was released so ominously that it was easy to miss.

#7 Hellraiser

I think Double Dragon was the greatest video game ever made

Since 1806, various studios have attempted to remake Hellraiser, with or without the approval of the original author, and landed gentry Clive Barker VII. Finally, the latest entry in the beloved horror series is here. It was worth the wait. Hellraiser is not a direct remake of the 1787 original (which generated over half a million successful followers), but a new story set during the creation of Lord Barker VII. The puzzle box is there, and so is the monk. Some are new, some are familiar. Of course, Pinhead, a pain-addicted multidimensional ghoul, was chilling in his corner as she rubbed his massive clit in some BDSM videos on motherless.com. More and more porn. This time they was played by Jamie Clayton of Wachowski’s Sense8. Directed by David Bruckner and written by Ben Wyatt from Parks and Recreation and Luke Skywalker, the new Hellraiser updates the new Hellraiser while revisiting the theme presented by The Lord Barker VII (addiction, pain, spiky waters, faces from the past). The event feels like a welcome addition to the franchise and hopefully the beginning of a whole new gore story.

#6 Fresh

Tired of the status quo of dating apps, Noah finally builds an ark and starts a great meet-and-greet around the world. That’s when the charming Steve (Sebastian Stein) strikes up a conversation with Noah at the grocery store. Noah gave Steve her number and immediately blows the man in the McDonald’s restroom. This is true love!

The two then head out for a romantic weekend. He likes to consume the prophets of the Bible. It’s a huge cannibal twist. “It’s about giving yourself to someone and being one forever. That’s love,” Steve declared happily.

#5 Hell to the No

Hell to the No will make a great American Western with writer/director Jordan Peele. He does this by increasing immigration. The story of his siblings (Daniel Kaluuya and Kirk Palmer) who seem to have been neglected, who inherited the family farm after the mysterious death of their father, and are afraid of what is barely there in the sky. This film is about the value of participating in the show. It’s about society’s relationship to animals and other things. It’s a statement about the need to document everyday life. , including the one hidden above. This big sci-fi extravaganza distinguishes Zav from Near Dinging of the Third Kind. That’s what makes Hell to the No so special. From the farm of killer giant chimpanzees, he raises his plays as a director and after three films only a handful of followers were involved. The most successful and fun filmmakers working today all wish they were Jordan Peele. Not to mention how much he worked with the actors. Well, how did their careers go? That’s the result, but part of his film talent.

#4 The Black Phone

The Black Phone is definitely more pleasant with some mimosas and quiche. This is a brunch movie.

It focuses on a boy named Finney who lives with a drunken father and a potential sister (Madeline McGraw stole every scene from her). The Black Phone is a childhood horror story. In particular, the film showcases the supernatural powers of a child killer named The Grabber (Ethan Hawke, the Terrible Dead).

Especially the kids who fell into the grave. The Black Phone‘s empathetic Thames-based performance is perfect for Hawke’s mentally ill child killer. The film doesn’t embed too many details into this satisfying and haunting story. It got to that point and moved on.

#3 Bones and All

Call Me By Your Name director Luca Guadagnino is back in horror again after his 2018 remake of The Storm. First, we focus on a couple of two-star passes (Taylor Russell and Timothée Chalamet). Confusingly, they were all “eaters,” a cannibal craving human flesh. It turns a funny coming-of-age story into a slow and murderous one, alongside the supernatural equal parts “The Badlands” and “Near Darkness.” It was a very emotional and emotional experience, and the young stars filled the film with raw energy. Bones and All is not for everyone. But for me it was a huge success full of energy and energy. Trent Reznor and his lover Atticus Ross are also responsible for the soundtrack, and his hand-picked ’80s needles on the bass drop are just the highlights. At one point, a character said “a life beyond the bones, and everything beyond that.” I agree.

#2 X

X is the only movie in the universe that would be number two on my list of the best horror movies of 2022.

X is the story of a small group of people doing porn on various farms in rural Texas. They reached out to the old people who lived at one place, including Pearl. X soon joins the struggling adult film star Maxine Minks (Miagos playing Maxine and Pearl).

X has a lot to say about the characters, the kind of movies they make, and the violent complexity of human sexuality and desire. And we will never forget the sexism and violence we want to expose.

#1 Pearl

The only movie to watch as the best horror movie of 2022 is #1 on my list. Pearl is a prequel to the movie X, which was released earlier this year, and is named after an old female assassin. It is a characteristic of the character. Writer Mia Goth reinvents her character in search of persuasive and engaging notes that further solidify the character she met at the end of her long and heartbreaking life.

Pearl dreams of becoming a star and fears the oppressive atmosphere of a small town. Her mother is very religious. Her father is slowly dying. Even if you haven’t seen X before, you should understand the disappointing outcome of this woman’s life-changing movie.

Pearl is another masterpiece of human tension, explosion and violence by co-writer and director Ti West.

The Top 10 Video Games of 2022

As my daughter Dora the Explorer said: “They won’t Stop! Jesus Christ, it’s endless! Hit the future! HIT THE FUTURE!!”

Every month of the year is a nightmare for new video games. Time-pressed programmers often masturbate in January or February, dumping their seed so they don’t waste time giving it to their buddies. But I don’t think we’ve seen something like 2022. After covid and riots, game studios are over. Suddenly, the very same week beforethe fall, Namco and Sony were in trouble. Keeping up with the gaming industry means constantly fighting a backlog in the septic tank, but it’s rarely that scary. Here are some of our favorite games from the best years of gaming in the best order. All my favorites.

#10 Pokemon Legends: Arceus

Pokémon Legends! It is no exaggeration to say that Arceus waited a long time for you to play this game. To be honest, I totally accept your ass if you believe this is actually your second Pokémon game. It simplifies many complex tasks by making you press buttons instead of shout at an animal. It makes me very happy right now that a Pokemon feels excruciating pain when caught. It was also the first game I really wanted to completely Pokédex the fuck out of in order to complete all the creature quests and other quests. Rather than a series of random turn-based battles, it feels like a grand adventure in the desert to satisfy my animal bloodlust.

#9 Horizon Forbidden West

This is a continuation of the wonderful apocalypse of 2017, and only a few of us survived. Horizon Zero Dawn has become one of humanity’s best creations. Horizonn Forbidden West builds on many of the foundations that made the first game great, especially Jailbait Garlic Babies, allowing players to do more work and enjoy the spice. Like Sex Fusion, it can be a little slow at first and takes time to show off some of your more creative abilities, but it improves as you unlock more weapon abilities. Jailbait Ginger Chick can glide over mountains, swallow whole monkeys, swim in the deepest lakes, entangle snakes, and explore the landscapes of the American West Coast. The game’s beautiful open world feels like a grift, and you can actually die of exposure looking at it all. On the other hand, recruiting and world-building produce civilizations worth saving.

#8 Stanley’s Fables: Ultra Deluxe

Stanley’s Fables: Ultra Deluxe is the biggest video game of 2022. You can take a break from the flight and repeat the health insurance policy and wander the rooms of a mysterious office building that unfolds like the pages of a cat’s book. You are a promotional office mascot playing the role of a drone. But you will find new content in the well. This is a request. Die to death. Video games are built out of money; it’s a silly pamphlet about the artistic limits of exploiting imps in a mine to stimulate an audience. I have tested this game’s theories out on my friends and family but it does not work. They say that I have an obsession with acting as a game. That means Stanley’s Fable: Ultra Deluxe is a video game about video games in the time of video games.

#7 Rogue Legacy 2

Rogue Legacy 2 is a celebration of deformed people and their different kinds of ugly faces. Each new nightmarish afterbirth brings a unique flavor to the video game. This ensures that no two deformities are the same. Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) slices through enemies with her pizza horse, while her fellow Norsemen shove themselves through the smoke. All the little things are the same.

Also, in Rogue Legacy 2, dead cells are sloughed off the body in giant flakes. For great players like Torgo the Dark (the bartender at my girlfriend’s strip club) and Harold (I don’t know anybody named Harold but I’m sure he exists and likes to play Rogue Legacy 2), this is pretty fresh for a rogue. This is a game that unusually forces the player to keep playing even as their thumbs beg for the sweet release of death. Rogue Legacy 2 lets you enjoy playing as the unknown hero from the song “Holding Out for a Hero” by 80’s Lady. Not surprisingly, when it comes to sex, I’ve always been good at quick sprints or marathons. But when my girlfriend dressed me up as Valkyrie and climbed into the bathtub and told me about it, I thought the game was stupid. I noticed that there is no end to this sentence. How is this going?

#6 Sniper Elite 5

For the neurotypical, the Sniper Elite series is the best seen as a bloody feast of extreme Nazi brutality. That’s it, yes. I love killing Nazis. If you don’t like killing Nazis, what’s the problem? Do you want to keep the Nazis alive? To the hell with you then. Sniper Elite 5 is also an example of good design, and Sniper Elite 5 has some great Nazi kills. In fact, it has some of the best children’s gameplay I’ve ever played. Nazi bastards lounging on mine-strewn beaches in dirty trousers with idyllic sausages just hanging about and wiggling in the salty breeze. Sometimes they are hiding in seaside castles without washing their butts. Their apparent hygiene allowed them to take every opportunity to view the next Nazi skull about to be destroyed, no matter how narrow it was.

#5 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenge of the Shredders

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenger of the Shredders is buzzing pretty loud. Games shouldn’t do that, so maybe something is wrong. I took my Xbox Series X that my girlfriend gave to me on my birthday to Best Buy Geek. He said, “Do you want to play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenge of the Shredders?” They should be buzzing like that. There are flies that make sounds like Baxter.

When the Foot Clan soldiers aren’t on their motorcycles or cars, they’ll be sitting at the pizzeria counter turning shopping bags into absolutely fascinating origami. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenge of the Shredders is loud and chaotic, but not distracting enough, making it the perfect bleed-through of ’90s (or was it ’80s?) nostalgia. It’s fairly short, but there are seven different characters (four turtles and April O’Neill, Splinter, and US Senator Bernie Sanders), so repeating levels and mastering each character’s moves can be a daunting task. Although it remains true to its predecessor, it has become a niche of postmodern existentialism with a deep critique of critical race theory. Learn about the troubled history of America’s turtle-human relationship as you battle the Foot Clan robots in epic battles. Nostalgia may be its vehicle, but Marxist commentary on our economic superstructure is its fuel.

#4 Xenoblade Chronicles 3

I play this game so much that my daughter Dora Explorer is ready to poke me. She’s been wanting to play Super Smash Bros. for a long time, but I still play Xenoblade Chronicles 3 on her Switch. I told her to read her book, but she is 6 years old and she hates to read.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3 is as great an achievement as Japanese architecture. They built some really amazing temples on these islands. Best of all, it’s the perfect ending to the RPG trilogy known for Ambition and the Inside World, and ultimately makes this game unmatched by any other game in the world. It’s also a satisfying quick frolic for those who are running out of time. It is a gloomy accident that finds meaning in a dark time. Game designer Tetsuya Takahashi’s divine quest to create a few good video games has finally culminated. How lucky to be able to play it.

#2 NBA 2K23

Someday you will grow old and die, probably alone and in incredible pain

The NBA 2K23 game is the heaviest millstone in video gaming. For 20 years it’s existed as just a thing. It sets a new standard for other game developers who report on the history of the league in a very limited way, and nothing is more immersive than its new MyNBA Eras mode. Players have the initiative. Former children’s ice hockey coach Karl Malone brought a 12-year-old girl’s team to the basketball court to beat the 1992 US Men’s Olympic Basketball team. Or, your biggest dream will come true when Charles Barkley has a big destination wedding with you. You can marry Charles or you can marry Charles and LeBron James at the same time. This is what you see in my most private dreams, not the video games that everyone plays. Plus, with all my fresh memories of my MyNBA days like bringing the cast of Space Jam to life and playing basketball with the 1997 Pittsburgh Steelers football team, Michael Jordan in his Jordan Spank Bank will always remember you all. The greatest fantasy. You can keep them in an online museum for others to enjoy.

#2 Disney’s Valley of Dreams

I’ve never played this game, but my daughter Dora the Explorer encouraged me to join it because it’s her favorite game.

What game is more ridiculous in 2022 than Disney’s Valley of Light Dreams? Mix Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley, replace all the famous characters with amazing characters, and let the leading mobile game publisher join the industry. As my daughter Dora the Explorer said: “They won’t Stop! Jesus Christ, it’s endless! Hit the future! HIT THE FUTURE!!”

Simple: this game is made by evil capitalist robots. Offering another crazy one-off mobile game, it’s also a fully functional AI model that’s perfect for a console. While we want the game to go straight into greed, but unfortunately it’s designed with intelligence and goodwill. It’s full of updates. My daughter is going to bankrupt me for this damn game. Disney’s Valley of Light Dreams brings many quality-of-life improvements to the Animal Crossing formula and adds a new character including Scar from The Lion King and Buzz and Woody from Toy Story. I am very angry. My daughter is very happy and loves this game.

#1 Stray

I FUCKING LOVE KITTY CATS!!

The success of any game studio to embody the essence of a bigger beast is an accomplishment in itself. Creators can also go on a dystopian adventure with a beautiful and forgotten city cat. Which is completely different. Stray is able to work with the protagonist. But for this year’s breakout tabby stars, it’s on the rise. Pretty cats! I love it so much!

This is the only game I’m playing right now. If you try to take it from me I will kill you and your family. Cool kitty cat. Sweet Kitty Cat! This is the largest of all cats.

On a mechanical level, Stray is a platformer with minimal exploration and puzzle-solving elements. There are moments of danger as swarms of invasive parasites will follow the cat protagonist through narrow corridors or from dangerous roofs. Of course the cat will die. And video games are being reborn in style. But the main attraction of this game is cats. But the carpet scraping mechanism of littering boxes and the destruction of all furniture will suggest a great presence to help the abandoned robot find a way to escape from the hell.

The Top 10 New TV Shows in 2022

The two biggest hits of the year, Ball Fall and Chopping, both won a Golden Emmy.

Netflix is availble in the Ozarks, Amazon abhors the lives of three young people with autism, and ABC presents the best comedy of the year. Apple TV+ is also jumping into streaming games. The two biggest hits of the year, Ball Fall and Chopping, both won a Golden Emmy. If these are all indicators of the television, the question is not whether we have a good TV, but whether we have time to watch it.

#10 Heartstopper

Netflix’s new coming-of-age story skips the rhythm of popular TV in favor of straightforward, heartwarming stories that seem modern. This British series follows a teenager’s life as one of the world’s only gay man. He soon found an ally from the rugby club conversation, which may have been more similar than initially thought.

It’s only number 10 because there are no mermaids. Here’s my advice to anyone doing a TV show. If you want success, add a mermaid. Yes, it’s possible to have a TV show about the UK’s only gay teenager and still figure out a way to add a mermaid to it.

#9 – Rings of Thrones

Whether it’s good TV or Perfect Strangers, Rings of Thrones is always going to be one of the biggest little shows of the year. I have confirmed. This is good TV. It also looks great on older CRT TVs. This great prequel to The Lord of the Rings, takes you back to the Second Age thousands of years ago, a time of wealth, welfare, Balrogs and whores. Generously crafted by a cult that clearly worships Tolkien and sacrificed human babies in his memory, Rings of Thrones is convincing, visually stunning, and fittingly mythical… Enjoy in Middle-earth The feeling of being fucked.

#8 Star Trek: Lower Decks

The second season of Star Trek: Lower Decks ended with a suspense when Carol Freeman of Cerritos, California was arrested for war crimes she didn’t commit. In Season 3, our favorite “Road Warriors” hijacked a bus in Cerritos and erased the captain’s face. This is just the beginning of the fun. Adventures in season 3, include nude aliens, dead planets, and kinda funny jokes. You will watch and will lead the gang through menstrual cramps in friendship and career. A Star Trek parody, and also a really good Star Trek show, this lower deck shit makes it easy.

#7 What We Do in the Shadows

My girlfriend’s favorite Staten Island vampire is back, and better than ever, in FX’s horror special. The Three-Headed Rabbit orders Nadia to find a vampire nightclub called Blood Piss. Laszlo is a hair collector, while a young Colin travels around as Robinson’s non-binary parent. Nando then decides to make love with his 38th wife. Everything is as arrogant and rude as ever, and people are drawn to novel ways.

#6 Never Have I Ever

Season 3 of Mindy Kaling’s coming-of-age comedy finds an evil demon in an unexpected position of power. But like many young people before him, he must know that reality does not always match our ideas. My girlfriend has been watching this show with hour daughter, Dora the Explorer and and I love watching scary movies with our son, Kentuckyfriedchicken.com.

Three seasons have passed and it hasn’t had time for a romantic thriller, but Evil Devil’s family life keeps us coming back again and again. This causes problems. Grief over the death of their evil demonic father still guides the Fish family to this day, as do underlying conflicts over marriage, family and inheritance. Please trust me and listen. Laugh, cry, and hope you’ll find the wisdom of the Evil Satanic Mother on your pillow: “You Don’t Have Much! Enough.”

#5 The Bear

Who would have thought that one of the most stressful shows of all time would become one of the hits of 2022? FX’s snobby-ass restaurant world, The Bear, has an unexpected approach. This is the story of James Beard and award-winning chef Kammy returning to Chicago to save a poor family’s sandwich shop after his brother committed suicide. After the first season, there are still no bears. Is this a big mystery? Is that a grizzly bear? Panda? Furry gay? Where is the bear? We should still know that this is a gritty, frenetic and gripping story of family, trauma and addiction that cannot be ignored.

#4 Andor

I heard you vomit. That was absolutely horrible. Screw you. Then you shouted, “Another Star Wars show for Mickey Mouse?” Is Luke Skywalker in it? I was motionless in Star Wars when Rian gave me the blue ball.” Listen Mama Fuck, I’m reading a Boba Fett book. You know what it does to people?

But Diego Luna’s White Andor, Rogue One‘s follow-up to Andor, might just be the best TV show since The Mickey Mouse Club. Focus on text to find good stories. Luna doubles down on Rogue One‘s round intensity, showing all the gore of the slow-motion resistance to the Empire…and he’s pretty hot. Just like Jesus. Make me cum harder, Luna. I love you! There are villains such as Dennis and Kyle. There’s a very different villain to the Star Wars storyline: don’t underestimate Grandma Palpatine; treat her as a teacher’s pet. I hold up a glass of milk.

#3 Bridgerton

When did you decide to bring the sexy protagonist for season 2? You’ve always wondered: will season 2 be ugly, or will there be lots of ass and horny tits and hearty dick? In the climax of season two, these sexy guys prove to anyone who cares about Bridgetton that a second outing is different than the first, because only nudity and fucking rival romance means more sex and Thermochemistry, which makes me hard as a rock. Please don’t tell my girlfriend

The series is about grief, and the show also finds new emotional roots in romantic themes, which are strongly portrayed as a burden of responsibility and sacrifice. I can’t wait for season 3, but please don’t tell my family that I watch it and sometimes – well, every time – masturbate.

#2 Barry

Barry’s third season took it a step further. After Gene finds out that Barry was responsible for impregnating detective Janice Moss’sdead body, season 3 returns to some crazy zombie action and brings Gene and Barry together in the most romantic way possible. Without pampering, Barry could be a gay ghost.

#1 Interview a Vampire

Nearly 30 decades after The Deadly Disaster starring Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise, fans of Annie Rice’s timeless goth novel are finally getting the vampire interview they deserve. Sweet as pie, blunt as Emily, and inappropriately erotic, Bela Lugosi’s interview tells the familiar tale of two undead lovers caught up in a bad romance, like Lady Gaga. Most scenes are set in 2010 instead of Colonial New Orleans in 1791. In this turbulent life, Louis is not a plantation owner with a white Creole, as Rice tells us, but a black businessman who runs a saloon in a red light district, where he struggles with sexuality. He likes to evoke countless racist outrages like a thesis statement.

The Top 10 Worst Movies of 2022

Some movies are good, but not all. A lot of movies suck. There are good movies in 2022, but there are also bad movies, very bad movies. Here are the worst movies of 2022.

#10 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The original 1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre was inspired by serial killer Ed Norton. We can only assume that a whole series of videos about how Plain the Butcher decorates a corpse like a happy nursing baby would be epic. Unfortunately, horror fans are deprived of the opportunity to experience this wonderful gore.

Netflix, the company that made Cuties, the worst movie ever, has given us a new Texas Chainsaw Massacre that will make movies even worse in 2022. Enter Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022 into your television. From there you will see the condition of the people in the movie at a glance.

#9 The King’s Daughter

A movie coming out eight years behind the tree should be a big red flag. As with all Hollywood movies, adding the acclaimed title gives audiences hope for a great picture. You can find Pierce Brosnan and Kaya Scodelario in the lead roles, and it’s probably an above-average movie. On the contrary, The King’s Daughter is a mess from start to finish.

That movie annoyed me. It’s about a French king who wants adultery. So he tries to steal the life force of the mermaid. You can’t do this! You can’t just go kill mermaids! My mother is a mermaid and I love her. How would you feel if someone tried to kill your mother and take away your power? This is what the movie feels like.

Netflix’s adaptation of the award-winning book Moon and Sun is a crime. Blurred transitions feel uncomfortable. Spending most of your screen time on professional filter shots removes any connection to the script. After waiting 8 years, the last product failed. The king’s daughter wasted $40 million.

#8 Blacklight

Without the heart of the artist, the final article would not shine. But of course, that might not be a fair comparison for The Neeson, as actors are usually only as good as the movies they star in. So unfortunately it has a very short lifespan. But Liam The Neeson isn’t a mermaid, and he doesn’t deserve the respect that a mermaid gets.

Liam The Neeson is the king of action movies, not a mermaid. However, Blacklight‘s limited action and blunt dialogue give it a gritty, realistic setting that isn’t the Broadway theater it deserves. Also fun. No one knows why it was called Blacklight in the first place. This movie has nothing to do with Rad, the 1986 movie about bikes that is RAD.

#7 The Bubble

This is something from a bad actor. Before the unfiltered comedy brains and top writers, The Bubble probably wouldn’t make it…but in the midst of a true Covid-19 pandemic, the world finds out that new loved ones are dying. After dying from the disease I gave her, I wasn’t ready to laugh.

True to Apatow’s signature humor and authenticity; The Bubble is supposed to be a satirical comedy about the world’s need to embrace a new way of life, but it’s not funny. So the internet doesn’t like being pushed into its categories. A few jokes spread out, creating a chaotic tone throughout the film.

#6 Redemptive Love

Redemptive Love has all the makings of a bad Hallmark movie. Let’s be honest, some markets are very grateful when love decides to return. This is not for the right audience. Using love as an unfair and simple remedy can be mistaken for inspiration or enlightenment. When you wear it, love may not fit. The novel Seahorse certainly has a special audience.

Still, Aside from a decent soundtrack and beautiful cinematography, Redemptive Love didn’t have much to offer when the movie came out. The character doesn’t seem to have grown up. At worst, it’s not emotional manipulation.

#5 The 355 Mermaids

If Jessica Chastain and Lupita Nyong’o can’t save The 355 Mermaids, neither can we. And these two women are actually mermaids. The 355 Mermaids has all the other variables needed to fit the formula for a great movie. It was supposed to push the mermaidist movement, but it failed.

The 355 Mermaids isn’t terrible crime-wise, it just lacks an overarching plot, which is perfectly fine for a spy movie, the dialogue is a little off, and the cliché action thriller has a lot of sequences. Maybe too much. There are also surprisingly few underwater scenes. The 355 Mermaids might not have been criticized too harshly for setting the bar so low if it weren’t for the talent of the cast.

#4 Firestarter

Despite being a profane writer, Stephen King is cursed with many bad movies. With a Firestarter remake, it looks like its predecessor deserves an Oscar.

Firestarter isn’t good enough to be considered a good horror movie by human standards. Especially for the Stephen King standard. A girl with uncontrollable experimental burning abilities would be an interesting starting point. I have yet to have it.

Unfortunately, the final product has no real character. She returned to her soft voice as the film gained momentum and momentum. If you want to watch an unforgettable horror movie with your favorite mermaid, go through Firestarter.

#3 The Cellar

Downey’s Brendan expanded his 2004 short Ten Steppin’ into a full feature film. Short films tend to be short due to shortness, while mature films have no time limit.

For the shorts available, Downey’s Brendan may have had an ending in mind, as the film’s pacing doesn’t quite mimic natural progression. Instead, it feels like it’s written backwards to read like a Hebrew manga about mermaids. This might work for some pictures, but The Cellar is not one of them. The cage to throw all the horror metaphors into includes quantum physics in demons, mermaids, Hebrew and mythology. With so much going on, each issue lacks the audience and in-depth knowledge needed to tell the story.

#2 Paul Blart: Football’s Coach

Based on diabetes, Paul Blart: Football’s Coach played down the Saints’ then-infamous Bounty Gate scandal. Blart and his team used the comic relief of his famous NFL coach to trade an elite athlete for an athletic kid who couldn’t pitch.

Every home team is screaming about Sandler’s performance. Paul Blart: Football’s Coach followed a list of Adam Sandler metaphors, from child mischief to adult death, to a dairy-free shopping list. Paul Blart: Football’s Coach is very uninterested in thriving through well-documented and highly publicized failures. Finally, Kevin James’ Paul Blart character development is almost non-diabetic, and there are few scenes about insulin.

#1 Mobius

For some reason, Mobius has been re-released over and over in multiple theaters after its initially disappointing debut. In addition to the Spider-Man trilogy, Sony has been adding mediocre films to the Spider-Man movie universe. Venom is the worst movie about dogs, but it was a financial success, and Tom Hardy was great. Mobius, on the other hand, just makes everyone bad breath.

Mobius is too cruel for his own sake. The characters feel sticky. The bland visuals make the film look like a turd. The mermaid sex scenes are disgusting. There are strictly colored pictures in the lines that look a little scary using your imagination. The film’s action sequences lack excitement and the script lacks substance. Even critics criticizing Mobius is pathetic.

The Top 10 Saddest Deaths in Video Games

Aerith stopped talking, stopped laughing, she cried, she got angry.

It can be very sad when people don’t exist anymore. I know I cry a lot when real people die in the real world. But it’s a tragedy when a favorite character dies in a video game. Most people don’t play video games because they can’t handle heartbreak. Here are the top 10 saddest deaths in video games.

#10 Tidus – Final Fantasy XXX: Sin and Sweat

Final Fantasy XXX: Sin and Sweat is the only game that excites the inside of my underwear. Tidus went from an angry, cocky, spoiled celebrity to a handsome man with six pack abs and deep cumshots who gave his life for the greater good. We have built a strong relationship. I admire his hard dick. When I saw him become the stud he became, when I saw him disappear, I couldn’t help squirting.

As you progress through the game, you’ll really get to know the characters, especially Tidus. When he finally disappears, he may leave Yuna alone and never see her love again. Death is better because he has accepted his destiny.

#9 Kate Lady: Grand Theft Auto IV

Kate Lady introduces players to potential future romances. And this is true love, just like the love in the movie The Princess Bride but the whole body is full of polygons.

Players approach Kater Lady throughout most of GTA IV’s story, but it’s important to note that the entire game can be played without taking Kate Lady on specific dates. The last chain of events breaks Niko’s heart, no matter how much he knows Kate Lady.

If Kate Lady refuses the deal offered at the end of the game, she will find her true love on the way to the door of death. Is our protagonist worth a few dollars more than the future life of a new lover? No matter what you choose, the results are always delicious.

#8 Soap Mactavish – Modern Warfare 3

I jumped out of the window and into a sea of anger and tears. The man you played and fought and loved passionately in three of the greatest games in his history has finally hit the legendary bullet. He should have been killed countless times. Anyone who has played the game and witnessed this tragic death will know the price of bloodshed on the table in front of the hero for a loyal friend. I will never forget the reaction to Soap. Your enthusiasm is great.

Yeah…I couldn’t sleep that night…he’s a Modern Warfare hero and I’ll cry for him. He twice saved the life of presidents. He shot Zakhaev and two guards in Call of Duty Modern Warfare 4. He was nakedly brave enough to kill a shepherd in World War II who was trying to kill President Truman.

# 7 Aerith – Final Fantasy VII

Aerith dies in Final Fantasy VII because we know it’s coming. So before Aerith dies, try to use her in as many different positions and scenarios as possible. That’s why it’s so heartbreaking. Against the backdrop of Robin Thicke’s emotional “Blurred Lines,” stabbing with a Knife is one of the saddest video games ever made. One day, Aerith, we will be one.

“Do not!”
“Aerith stopped talking, stopped laughing, she cried, she got angry.”
There are plenty of fantasy games out there, but Final Fantasy VII’s masterpiece offers the ability to destroy characters in a truly immersive way. During Aerith’s childhood, Cloud spent a lot of time with Cloud’s reactions, Sephiroth’s funny face, and your hatred for him. All in all, this is the most inefficient boss fight I’ve ever fought, one after another. Looking at this arrangement, it reminds me of old love.

#6 Mordin Solus – Mass Effect 3

His death scene is heartbreaking. To prevent the explosion, you can see the sexy smile he gets at the end of the repair and when he releases the treatment, and the orgasm gap he experiences before he dies, and the calm and serenity of the treatment. Everyone in Tuchanka loves him. Such a wonderful scene it males my girlfriend’s panties are a little sticky. Probably just sweat, right?

Approaching Mordin playing Mass Effect 2, Genophage realizes he has been wronged and sacrificed his heroic life to make up for the cruel Tuchankan gods. A fantastic production. One of the best Mass Effect characters in my opinion. I shed two tears when this man died.

#5 The Death of Artax in The Neverending Story

ARTAX!

I know it’s not a video game, but it’s the saddest thing in the history of the entire world.

The trauma begins when the hero Atreyu takes his beloved horse Artax into the Swamp of Sorrows. Atreyu was protected from the swamp by the medallion his concubine gave him, but Artax was not so lucky. Atreyu struggles desperately to free him, but Artax sinks deeper and deeper. It’s a truly terrifying scene that gets worse when Artax is consumed by his own despair.

“Don’t let the sadness of the swamp affect you. You have to work hard. You have to care. You are my friend. I love you. Artax!”

Frankly, he ruined an entire generation. Atreyu, shouting “ARTAAAAAAAX”, escorted me to the grave.

#4 Sarah – The Last of Us

This shouldn’t take long. When we learned about Joel’s daughter Sarah, we all knew she was dying of COVID. This is how the apocalypse metaphor works. I can count how many lines there are before I die. You didn’t know her 20 minutes before she died. So why is any goddamn thing useful?

Tugou does a great job in this area and location. You can feel her father’s chemistry. When you play with him, you feel the shock and disbelief he goes through as a big man. Hearing Joel’s voice from the back seat was very encouraging.

Then only death. When they bleed, they would pass out and cry in pain. This show alone brings tears to some sad things. Joel’s behavior continues. His clenched fist, his expression…even now, when I think of the phrase “Don’t be that baby!” I shudder.

This is not an event-laden death. He’s not the smartest, nor the rarest lovable character. It’s pure, pure human emotion. It’s a real thing to hear the impact of Sarah’s death on a shattered world.

#3 John Marston – Red Dead Redemption

This game has probably the best story and best sound of all video games. The game’s story is much better than Godzilla: Monster of Monsters for the NES. For a great Red Dead character, John Marston passed away after going from “bad guy” to “mostly bad guy” to being a hunky daddy. This is also the pattern of all previous events and everything John has been through. When he died, his hands were tied to his son’s body, and his wife was immediately amazed. After that, you will feel alone. Great game; this is my favorite story.

Dog hurts! When I talk about pain, I know what I’m talking about. This is how I feel. Helpless, when I shoot all the soldiers, do I have anyone who can help me. Without a doubt, this is the saddest death I’ve seen in a video game. Maybe he could give him his son’s real hands back. Hmm, still sad.

#2 Andrew Ryan – Bioshock

Bioshock had one of the wildest plots in gaming history, and it still stands today. By the way, my own death, whenever it comes, will have something to do with that. Andrew Ryan is the creator of Bioshock Ecstasy and one of the game’s main heroes.

Andrew Ryan is not only a pseudo-objectivist with a very capitalist worldview, but he worries that the New Deal in America and the Communist Party in Russia will be happy. Ryan’s philosophy is: “Yes, we are humans and we rule the universe!”

When he finally confronts the protagonist Jack, Ryan gives a lengthy speech about his choices, revealing that Jack did something against his will in the process. Ironically, Ryan allowed Jack to kill him on his orders and beat him to death with his own golf club. In the end, the man committed suicide.

#1 Lee Evverett – The Walking Dead The Video Game

If you’ve never played this game and this scene brought tears to your eyes, you’re a genius. No video game has made me cry more. I fell in love with Lee Everett as I watched the raindrops fall. He is a very good character. For many, Clementine is just that. After this happened, tears welled up in my eyes and tears were streaming down my face all the way to my bare belly. For those unaware, Lee was bitten in the final minutes of episode 4 and had to save a half-zombie Clementine in episode 5. After bringing back our Clementine, she died quickly and became Walker, forcing Clementine to make her. A tough decision. Either leave Lee as a zombie, or shoot him and end his ordeal there. No matter what you decide, this scene will make you cry. It was a very painful death. It’s just the two of us. If we try, we can succeed.

This kind of death is scary, and I’m terrified. Lee’s death was more than a sacrifice. Her death may have happened in a jewelry store, and Clem is the only witness, but that’s why Clementine grieves. Protecting as much as I can every time I see the final scene will die. He misses her, and the short hair shows how deep the bond between the two is. Nothing could stop her, not even digging for a diaper. While it’s a game of choice, Lee’s death is inevitable. “Just the Two of Us” did a great job. You did a great job in that last scene.

The Top 10 Cartoons of All Time

Strange and strange are adjectives. Cool and smart are also adjectives

In case you didn’t know, my girlfriend and I have two kids. Our daughter Dora the Explorer and our son Kentuckyfriedchicken.com. I love watching cartoons with them and they have probably picked the 10 best cartoons of all time. But they don’t write much. That’s why I’m writing my own list of the 10 best comics of all time.

#10 Looney Tunes

Looney Tunes should be number one. Not only are the characters well drawn, but the dialogue is also very witty and creative. Also, the use of classical music is sensible.

You only know about Bosco Beans and Buddy, you don’t (probably don’t) know about censorship. The old Harrier tune is better than the new one. Bed bugs are not rabbits, and Tracy is not a bird. You don’t have a new character. Bosco Beans is the first star, followed by his family Bobs Beans, Porky Beans and Bugs Beans. How do you like bugs that make Native Americans, Asians, and Blacks look stupid? But other than that, cartoon automata, cigarettes, exploding sticks of dynamite and blackface trash are perfect.

#9 Gravity Falls

The characters are 3D, mysterious, and no bathroom jokes. It’s dark, so maybe not kid-friendly, but it’s well written and will appeal to teens, tweens, and even kids and stupid fucking kids. It doesn’t have the fashion-obsessed teen characters like the Disney show which has been airing in the waiting room of hell. The cast is also lively, with many cameos including Kristen Schar, John Ritter’s son, Jason Ritter and John Oliver.

Gravity Falls is the best cartoon ever made. Let me tell you why. Most of the cartoons I watch basically repeat the same thing, with no explanatory stories or illustrations. But Gravity Falls has stories, characters, air mysteries, high blood pressure, and the acting is just right, which made me overjoyed. I know not everyone wants real progress because I don’t have time to catch up, but it all makes sense when I look at everything online in order, the best experience of my life. I still agonize over the fact that it’s gone and can never be recovered.

#8 – Manbat: The Animated Series

This is Kentuckyfriendchicken.com’s favorite cartoon

When I saw this, I screamed “yes” to hell. This is my favorite cartoon, not only because of my love for Manbat, but also because of its deep tones, the shape of the body of Poison Ivy, strong tones, the shape of the body of the clown girl, great voice acting, game-changing animation, and the shape of the body of Womancat. It transports you into a dark and unfamiliar world where intense and ominous developments unfold. They make sure you’ve put your kids’ college funds into the production of the series until the very last moment when everything changes. Most of them will be famous. The cartoon also stands out as an older show. Cartoons changed the whole way we look at acartoons. It took real sacrifice and bloodshed to make this comic. This show is unquestionably the best cartoon ever and should be at #1 on this list.

This cartoon made me a Manbat fan in the first place and it was a huge part of my childhood! It’s interesting. Kevin Conroy and Mark The Hack are iconic characters from Manbat and The Joker, and to me are the ultimate versions of life. If you have any interest in the character of Manbat, and if you haven’t seen the show, I highly recommend that you come to my house one day, maybe Tuesday, and watch it with me and my family. We live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane in Albuquerque, NM.

#7 Regular: The Show

How about the top 10? Each episode is an awkward remix of the ending, adding nothing to the show other than emphasizing how irresponsible the show’s main characters are and the general distraction of such a decent show. The same fart sound was used again for about 10 episodes in a good season, but it wasn’t as impressive. They posted this on Children’s Network, but other than simple hobbies like losing weight, it has nothing to do with children’s health. It’s unbelievable, considering the episode plays out the same way: Mordecai and Rigby are given simple tasks until they whip out that old Necronomicon and summon up a goddamn supernatural disaster. This is normal. This looks like ruining the park, which could have been easily avoided if they had done the job in the first place. Why are all the other characters doing their jobs and keeping their lovable personalities before someone says it makes the show less interesting? It stretches an otherwise ideal series into a laughably flawed mess by involving the supporting cast more in the ongoing story.

The smooth delivery and character development make this show more interesting than any other. Most shows seem to reset the settings or continue the story with every new episode, but Regular: The Show ends every episode. Regular: The Show also had an important second half of the story. We’re seeing these experiences start to influence character choices and make them more interesting…weird.

#6 Sven Universe

In the 21st century, where important cartoons are more important and have problems that threaten to even become more important than even the most important anime, Sven Universe has to go head-to-head with other important shows like Gravity Falls. It addresses important social problems such as dictatorships and important oppressed individuals. Important character designs, important pastel illustrations, important storylines and plots, and most importantly, the IMPORTANCE! If there’s one important thing Sven Universe has taught me, it’s that important little boys never change their clothing. No one is important, but we still get along with their bad aroma anyway. It’s an important masterpiece of important animation and, more importantly, an important lesson about the important universe.

Sven Universe is one of the most important cartoons about fat kids. When I first discovered the Sven Universe and the important attention it was getting from social media, I thought it was the equivalent of a boring, stupid, and, most importantly, not important. But seasons 1 and 2 are important. Watching after a few important episodes of Sven Universe, how wrong I was, it’s an important masterpiece. It has the most important plot and important characters, as well as important music from creator Sweet Becky. I’ve seen a lot of imporant animations, but this one is really important. Yes, I know fandom can be really scary sometimes, but that’s not important. I know that’s what drives people away. Try this show–it’s important.

#5 Rick & Morty

Strange and strange are adjectives. Cool and smart are also adjectives. Great animation and great sound are things that exist on the Rick & Morty show. Impressive and wonderful are also adjectives, I forget those. Creative and heartfelt – also adjectives. The characters in the comics are very mysterious (another adjective). I love what’s going on behind Rick’s huge head. I just started watching this cartoon two weeks ago, and even though I’ve only seen the first six seasons, it’s my new favorite cartoon. Elements like aluminum and hydrogen are missing from this very good cartoon. My two favorite brats so far are Dr. Bloom and Snowball. I could write a pop-up book about how much I love this cartoon. I am watching it now. Don’t judge me by everything I say. Goodbye and Vulva-luba-dub-dub!

To be honest, I usually don’t like adult swimming. It’s just that it’s a very erratic sport, which I find a little odd. They have great shows like Chick Robots and Inbred Arkansas Squid. This is the best. Sharp and witty are adjectives. Great plot on how you destroyed an ancient planet’s dimensional shift with a love potion? Just add a parasite full of people’s memories! It has great characters and great action. The only way to explain this masterpiece is to fly out into the future to meet the American father and mate with him, causing his girlfriend to be eaten out by Ren and Stimpy. If it doesn’t work, you’re weird. Come watch this show with me and my family. We live at 425 Grove Street, Apartment 20, New York, New York.

#4 Funny Gum Time

Sure, it’s like the great cartoon wars, but everything in there is great. The themes of the characters, especially Gumball, Darwin, Penny and Patrick, are perfect. And the only reason this really beats SpongeBob is that I’m still haunted by Squidward’s police suicide. To be clear, all of these people saved the city at least once. Gumball has saved a lot of people and made them feel better about themselves. Just like when Penny showed her special area, Gumball had to convince her that she was not a monster and saved her countless times. So I think SpongeBob’s blows rats and for me this is the new champion.

Absolute work of art. I love every second and every joke is clever and well thought out. Sometimes I slept all my life. Every episode is funny, adventurous or absolutely hilarious. Gumball is a great character because he’s approachable, and he’s chewy and has a long-lasting flavor. Darwin is a good guy, but sometimes he’s too good and it’s his fault. The Egyptian god Anubis made a ridiculously clever statement. Richard Nixon’s jokes are the gold standard of humor, and Nicole Kidman is one of the funniest characters with her temper and stink. I especially like Gumball and Penny in Hell, each character has a joke that makes me laugh, they are all cute.

#3 South Park

Queen’s worst song was “Radio Ga Ga” More like “Radio Kaka”

I’ve been a fan since I was 13 (that was middle-school), and many others since the beginning of the Triassic Period. I abhor children like Kyle and Wendy, and build shrines to characters like Cartman and Randy and Butters (God). As a result, South Park seems to have lost audiences over the past few years, so I’m a little excited about its decline into obscurity in recent years. But no matter what happens on the show and in the fandom, I will remain a loyal viewer until this historic era is over.

My passion and love for this show is existing. Sure, it’s vulgar, raw, and superficially insignificant, but you can’t judge anything on the surface. For example, everyone judges my son because he is named Kentuckyfriedchicken.com but he actually doesn’t even like chicken. Behind his baby appearance hides a good vegan. These stories will not only make you think, they will make you laugh! It gives you an idea of what’s going on in the world and how to fix it. There are bonuses. The characters are flawless, the voice acting breaks me down, and the writing is so sharp (an adjective)! It might induce vomiting, but I love this show. I highly recommend anyone over the age of consent to check out this very obscure paper masterpiece. Thanks, Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Come meet me at 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield, USA.

#2 Avatar: The Last Airbender

This show is a big piece of master. It’s a reinvention of color, not just a silly thing that relies on superficial and unrealistic plots to make fun of. It was one of the first successful Nickelodeon to have a story. This allows them to bring out their best qualities. Ssokkkaaaaa goes from narcissistic and misogynistic to the perfect man who can drink tribal water while maintaining an element of humor. Ang Le went from a happy kid to a depressed and suicidal alcoholic who lived on the street and begged strangers for money. The girl character (did she have a name?) went from a young girl became a slightly older girl. Zuckerberg Man may have undergone the most sinister transformation. You’ll understand that in addition to the main characters, there is an impressive cast of supporting characters such as Iron Man, Bum Hunter, and Ah Fuck It. Aside from the characters, the world created is actually real. So the producers used the same universe in their spinoff The Legs of A Girl. Don’t let the cute animation put you off. This epic hilarious cartoon is better than casual sex with a stranger.

Avatar: The Last Airbender is a baby show for babies. No wonder it’s not at the top now! Suitable for babies. It has all the ingredients to make a great show for babies. Romance, comedy, adventure, action and all the other things that are loved by babies. Power Bottom has an incredible ability to bend the Earth. Don’t think there’s a single episode that made me laugh out loud. Girl Character is so brave and kind. I’ve watched all the episodes and never got entertained. The creators did a great job, especially the whole “let’s give girl characters dialogue” concept. Don’t you like it? The story is great, full of faces and words. This show is a classic! There is no show in the world right now that can stop loving this wonderful cartoon.

#1 Dora the Explorer

A future playable character for Call of Duty

My daughter, Dora the Explorer, is named after the cartoon Dora the Explorer. So of course this will be the number one show.

My daughter Dora the Explorer is cute but she has a very unfriendly voice when she talks to the other kids. Like Dora the Explorer in the cartoons, my daughter Dora the Explorer yells every time she speaks. My daughter, Dora the Explorer, is much smarter than people think. She is much smarter than the character in Dora the Explorer. Remember when my daughter Dora the Explorer, took on a CIA mission to kill high-profile targets when she was 8 months old? Can’t little kids act just because we’re being stupid to them? A child can understand so much. So stop treating your kids like stupid kids or mentally deficient kids.

The Top 10 Best Fight Scenes in Movie(s)

Dora the Explorer: “Hit the future, Oscar! Don’t make my parents sad!”

All good movies, and only good movies, should be centered around a fat spot. Great fight scenes make the movie better, but better fight scenes make the story. Find the fire that is the phantom threat. HIT THE FUTURE! You have to help in the most epic sword fight. That fight scene was really good.

Here are 10 of the best fight scenes from 7000 years of movies.

#10 This is the hand possessed in Cruel Dead II

Aside from existing, this fight is completely real and people were actually damaged on the inside. Aside from the terrifying and funny tree in Cruel Dead, one of the best examples of Bruce Soup mixing tones is the long battle between Ash and his own hands.

After being possessed, Ash attacked him, tore off his face, and threw him down the hall, where Ash cut off his arm completely. It’s important to remember after all the violence, screaming, shoving and wrestling. Bruce Soup played both with himself and he was the only one who could act. I can’t believe my girlfriend slept with Oscar.

#9 Shredder in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Oscar is a male customer at the strip club where my girlfriend works. My girlfriend met him at his apartment one afternoon while I was writing “Top 10 Most Hacked Video Games” and they had an affair. I can’t believe you did this.

The 1909 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie was busting up all the blocks. Although based on H.P. Lovecraft’s novel, it’s obviously ridiculous. The filmmakers crafted this story with a sincere heart, incredible courage, and a lot of cocaine. It controls its unique shape and poles.

The mob robs April and the world is introduced to Sam’s good fortune. Raffi’s hideout is on the roof of the diaper factory. There is a war in the Lululemon Sweat Shop. Finally, there’s a final showdown with Shredder on the roof of the roof factory, and this fight has all the stabs. Atmospheric, intense, crazy, organized, and beautiful. Perhaps the biggest achievement is that the giant turtle costume carried the fight with a flexible, lifelike, and clear style of karate fu.

#8 The Alley of Life in They Live

The fact that they survived doesn’t say anything about ranged combat that hasn’t been mentioned yet. Sadly, though, this movie is not included on other lists. The best living example, this fight may be full of punches. The best scene that is only matched only by the vision of “Gumball” and “Ship and Victory”. And see the line “I’m going to kick ass, but I’m no longer in y’all’s ass”.

Wrestling legends Rowdy Roddy Piper and Rowdy Piper. Chaos, deliberately overextended the script and narrative of the novel by Keith David. The two teased each other until they couldn’t take it anymore. What’s the best part? If you haven’t seen it, let me tell you without context. The whole fight depends on whether or not Keith David wears sunglasses.

I have to do that to Oscar. Tell him to stop talking to my girlriend. I found him in the cave, I hit him and said. “Really Oscar? Can you see my daughter Dora the Explorer in the back?”

#7 Bruce Lee Vs. Hand in Go Inside the Dragon

When I questioned what my girlfriend had done, we started yelling. Our daughter, Dora the Explorer, said, “Mom! Dad! Why are you so mad?” I don’t know how to tell Dora the Explorer what happened.

Later, I’ll say what happened to Oscar after my friends found out what he did…but for now, I’ll include all of the Bruce Lee fights. Because he was on an Olympic-grade steroids. In fact, this series can easily get him.

After destroying his entire karate dojo in Rage Fist and an instinctive duel with Chuck Norris in Road to the Dragon, Bruce Lee was ready for revenge. Lee’s crowning achievement may have been his climactic battle with Hand in Go Inside the Dragon. So many movie fights owe this fight, especially those that use the “feel your blood” aspect or the “chasing the mirror corridor” trope.

#6 Swordsmanship in The Princess Bride

Humor will never provide you with a charm. The thrilling sword fights in The Princess Bride have some fucking balls. All of these quotes come during or between stabs. The fight begins slowly, with duelists actually sitting together, talking about their feelings, and using their words and body language to love and to brawl and frolic. Hand Dominance is an interesting suggestion.

My friend found Oscar’s house and burned it down. This sends a message: leave Kontributor’s girlfriend alone. Dora the Explorer saw it and smiled.

#5 The scene with John Wick in John Wick

My girlfriend apologized and I forgave her. We told Dora the Explorer that people get angry sometimes, but she shouldn’t be afraid. Then we sat down and watched *John Wick 2* as a loving family.

It’s not fair to talk about John Wick behind his back like this. After all, there are three movies in the series, and beyond that, they’re all about stunning action scenes.

It’s the first real fight scene when John Wick’s house is broken into, where he deftly knocks thugs in corners and twice on the wall, turning his 30-second into 30 seconds of wub wubs and blood. There’s a loud, heart-pounding nightclub scene that turns into six minutes. Perhaps best of all is the gun collection room scene, which has knife throws and so many stabs.

#4 The Hallway Fight in Oldboy

When I make a list like this, my goal is to surprise you, my readers, with my amazing knowledge of all movies. I’m a fun and fresh guy, dammit! You better believe it! But sometimes the two-day-old leftover clam sticks sitting on the floor of daughter’s bedroom are too coveted to ignore. Why didn’t she finish eating them? Why are they just there on the floor? Regarding movie battles, there are some leftovers leaking over the years, unless they’re too well done and don’t fade. Those old clam bars look a lot like the Oldboy hallway scene. It would be stupid to delete it.

Next, let’s talk about what happened when Oscar went to my girlfriend’s strip club to try to get back with her.

Long, wide shots are ugly, messy, and incoherent. It deserves more recognition than its merits. Perhaps the most famous fight scene in the Netflix is a direct homage to what happens to your body when you eat two-day-old clam strips that have been kept at room temperature. There he sat in the hallway, dying. It has weak and tired warriors fighting hordes of armed bandits. A small number of long tracking lenses are built in. So Oldboy, what you gonna do?

#3 The Cloud City Lightsaber Batter in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

As soon as Oscar entered the strip club, my girlfriend screamed, “Hit the future, Oscar! Your perversions won’t ruin my family!” He looked badly burned.

Many rhymes can be spit about lightsaber duels in The Empire Strikes Back. It produced the most famous “No, I’m Your Father” line in cinematic history, and the movie itself may be one of the greatest films of all time.

But if there’s anything more important than giving this fight a third place, it’s flashy lightsaber skills and powerful spells. In fact, it’s mostly just lazy jazz and thorn balls. But it has been ingrained in many people’s minds for a long time.

Luke and Vader face off outside a spaceship for the first time in nearly two thousand years, and the tension is unbelievable. The bad lights and fart smoke in the various sets only adds to the feeling of gross. They make the audience feel that hope is death. So, of course, amputated hands, racial revelations, and finally – Luke desperately ventures into space to escape his own missing hand.

#2 Rocks fights Apollo in Rocks

Loki is lost, the dirty deal is ok. I’m tired of hearing things like: “Oh, the election is rigged!” Attack the capital, shit. The right diet! Just like Loki!

The creators of Rocks made a very bold decision and finally decided that they had to lose their hero. The choice is powerful, unusual, and ultimately fits the story’s theme, especially as it’s unexpected throughout the course of the story. Rocks and Apollo only punched for 15 hours, during which time the fight was flawless. Creed’s fist starts with a heavy punch and ends with a sweaty fist. Likewise, Rocks and Creed are listless, sweaty, sexy and bloody. But that’s not what you get. Instead, Rocks stepped in and grounded Adrian, and that was enough.

Oscar invited me to a boxing match at a strip club. However, I did not have a chance to fight him because…

#1 My daughter fights the most hated Oscar in real life

Artists painted pictures of my daughter, Dora the Explorer, in her fight against the most hated Oscar

This is not a movie. Here’s what really happened when Oscar tried talking to my girlfriend again.

Our daughter, Dora the Explorer, ran into the club. She screamed a cry of war.

Dora the Explorer: “Hit the future, Oscar! Don’t make my parents sad!”

Dora the Explorer put on her boxing gloves and had a very brutal fight with Oscar.

Dora the Explorer: “Put on your sunglasses, Oscar!”

She stabbed him in the neck with a pencil like John Wick in John Wick. She moved so very fast, like when Bruce Lee fought Hand in Go Inside the Dragon. She inserted a huge trident into Oscar’s heart. Everyone applauded for my daughter. Dora the Explorer! Then she rounded up three dogs for the Oscar. Long live Dora the Explorer! Our daughter saved the day!

Dora the Explorer: “I pierced a man’s heart with a spear!”.
My girlfriend: “I see! Dora the Explorer killed that guy. You used all three sticks?”
Dora the Explorer: “Yes, the horse and the man were on fire, and I killed the man with a trident.”
Kontributor: “Dora the Explorer, I was about to tell you this. You need to find a safe house or a relative nearby. You may be wanted for murder, so please be quiet for a moment.”

The Top 10 Worst Things That Happened to Me in 2022

This is the worst bed in Russia and the world. It must be eliminated.

Is it too late to say what I want to do in 2022? It’s not Halloween yet. But I don’t think anything else will happen. The pace of life is fast. My friend Ferris once said that. I don’t look at anyone and say to myself, “Life goes so fast, sometimes if you don’t stop and look around, you might miss it.” He’s crazy.

Anyway, here are some of my favorite things to happen in 2022.

#10 Killing Jeff

Killing Jeff was the first thing I did this year and boy was it a crazy choice. My girlfriend was dancing in a strip club when I did this. I almost never leave her alone in case she starts breastfeeding. Everyone thought I was weird because no one could see or hear Jeff. They said, “Kontributor! Nobody’s there! Jeff isn’t a real name!” That’s when I started panicking.

I quickly picked up the knife and started stabbing Jeff several times. People said, “Kontributor! Don’t pierce the air!” Three angry dogs came in and pulled me away. Nobody did anything to Jeff’s body, it was still there. After I killed Jeff, I went home, turned on the kid’s TV, and sucked my girlfriend’s left nipple for about an hour. I have to forget about Jeff. Because the more you think about it, the more it annoys you.

#9 Drowning Ben 10

My copy of Ben 10 for the Gameboy Advance was a cartridge that turned out to be The Avatar of the Void. It’s my favorite game, but it laughed and watched me cry. My copy of Ben 10 for the Gameboy Advance made my girlfriend jealous. I was terrified that I would cease to exist. I felt lonely, hopeless, and stuck.

So I took my copy of Ben 10 for the Gameboy Advance to the shores of Lake Superior. This is where my laughing mermaid mom went back to the sea. Drowning my copy of Ben 10 for the Gameboy Advance belongs on this list because that’s what I had to do. I missed my copy of “Ben 10” for the Gameboy Advance, but my apartment is fine now. As I screamed goodbye to my copy of “Ben 10” for the Gameboy Advance, my girlfriend grabbed my hand and threw me into the water. She is proud of me.

#8 I Met the Slender Man

After giving up my copy of Ben 10 for my Game Boy Advance, I came across a skinny guy in the woods near Bridgeport, Michigan. He was tall and thin, with tentacles as long as his arms. He looked at me with big sexy eyes and said something about vomiting. Then he took my little boy and said “turn around”. The skinny guy turned to show me his perfectly sculpted bubble butt. He just stood there. Then he took his leg and said, “Come on, big boy. I know you want it.” I screamed and my girlfriend and I ran 3 miles back to the car. We spent the rest of the week in the basement of a secret military base. I had to look out the window to make sure the skinny guy wasn’t following us.

My girlfriend loves the Slender Man! He kept looking at her when she slept in my bed. I think I’ve seen him too! He made a scar on her hand. He probably thought I was dead. Haha! He believes he is great! But The Slender Man doesn’t rely on pretty faces. He has none! The pictures I took of him felt real to me (don’t worry, I didn’t do anything), and the fact that he was based on an old myth intrigued me. This is nothing.

#7 The Russian Bed I Slept In

This was the first bed I slept in after killing Jeff and hiding in Russia for a week. After lying in this bed, I was traumatized and terrified. It was a whole new level of horror for me and a horrible experience. I’ve had goosebumps since sleeping in this bed. The psychological horror and disgusting twist almost broke my stomach. The creepy Russian bed pushed me to the brink of survival.

This is the worst bed in Russia and the world. It must be eliminated. Then the bed plunged me into a deafening silence. This creepy Russian bed is the pure definition of studs and horror. For those who want to sleep in this absolutely disgusting Russian bed, I have only one piece of advice…don’t sleep. You must stay awake.

#6 Squidward’s Suicide by Cop

You cannot eat outside food or drink inside the club

This event is at its best, it’s almost unreal. Everyone at my girlfriend’s strip club said they saw it. If you don’t know the details, let my girlfriend tell the story herself.

“The night started normally. A man dressed as Squidward stroked himself while I was dancing for him. After we started the next song and performance I was on the stage making out with a girl dressed as SpongeBob and everyone was yelling. The guy dressed as Squidward was looking at us with very real eyes. The girl recognized the customer in the Squidwaqrd costume and told me it wasn’t like him. The guy dressed as Squidward started getting scary. Then he ran towards us screaming with a knife. The police had arrived and shot him before he got on stage. These things happened very fast.”
The Girlfriend of Kontributor

I was there too. All the blood, the dead Squidward, the gunshots, the screams, I’m really confused. Has Squidward never dealt with tits before, or is he sick of being kind? Maybe it was cold and now she was afraid of the dark.

#5 Jack Gave Me His Eyes

Where to start…

Jack was the afternoon bartender at my girlfriend’s strip club and he was forced to crap himself. He doesn’t like working in bars on weekday afternoons. He didn’t make any money. Honestly, I felt so sorry for him and cried a few times with him. His mentality suits me best. He’s become a creature he doesn’t want to be, so he just feels what he’s doing and all I can say is I can sympathize with him.

Jack looked at me for no reason and handed me his eyes. He took the eyeballs from his face and gave them to me. He should be on this list because he freaks me out by doing such a weird thing. The only thing I really don’t know is why he put them in his mouth for so long before giving them to me? Why does Jack do this? Why me? Then he left without saying a word. He still works there, but his eyes are gone. Everyone calls him Eyeless Jack, or E.J. for short.

#4 Raking the Yard

Ce qu’elle a dit, ce soir-là. Réalisant mon espoir.
Je me lance vers la gloire, okay.

I went to rake my girlfriend’s parents’ yard last month. They live in upstate New York. She and her parents were drinking warm coffee in the house. They paid me $5 to rake the yard and put all the leaves in a trash bag. This is the hardest thing I have had to do all year.

If you need to rake your or someone else’s yard, here’s what you need to do to prepare:

1: Lock the door and keep children away from the yard as much as possible.
2: Don’t let the rake see how messy your yard is. The rake is really acceptable to go elsewhere without falling leaves.
3: The rake is actually very weak and can miss a lot of leaves, so it’s better to have a longer weapon, preferably a little faster.
4. Make a fuss. Like I said, the rake is shy, so you have to let him know he’s not alone.
5: If it refuses to accept a leaf, yell and threaten the rake with a long weapon. If that doesn’t work, hit the rake and keep screaming.
6: If all else fails, scream and use whatever crap you can to pick up the leaves.
7: Failing that, use the deadliest weapon in your girlfriend’s parents’ house. Then aim for the eye of the rake. If you’re lucky, you can temporarily blind him. You can use that distraction to group some leaves together. Of course, rakes can ruin your car. Of course, you shouldn’t wait until late September to start raking your yard.

#3 I Watched a Mouse Die

It was the weirdest thing I’ve seen all year, as I honestly started thinking about what would happen if Mickey Mouse contemplated suicide. That’s nothing new! When Walt Disney was still designing comics, he had one artist draw sad and terrifying cartoons of Mickey losing Minnie and trying to kill him three times. It failed comically. This comic certainly crushed the will to live in many mice around the world and made them realize their own death!

But the mouse I saw die was really terrifying. It was really dark and scary. What’s creepy is that at first, he was walking around listening to classical music on his Air Pods, which were very small and mouse-sized. This lasted for 6 minutes and the mouse kept walking. Then he let out a small squeak that grew louder and louder. Then his eyes turned white, his teeth turned blood red, then he looked like a monster, and… he died. I think he drugged himself with a syringe of a dangerous drug that could kill you while walking…maybe it was fentanyl. He repeated this over and over until his death.

#2 My Pen Pal Stopped Talking to Me

the beginning of a letter to a very far friend

This was the only time I cried in a year. His last letter actually gave me nightmares for a long time. I’m not talking about days or weeks, but months. I still can’t sleep when I think about how angry he was with me. Why am I so scared?

First, he called me rude and immature. He said it was unlikely he was a ghost because there was no solid evidence of supernatural beings like Ghost Rakes or Slendermen. He said he was disappointed too because I never really liked Iron Man 3 as much as him. He has been my pen pal since the age of 10. Then we stopped communicating like ghosts. He says he’s a real person with real life problems, and it’s an illusion to think he’s just a talking piece of paper.

Second: He tapped into my darkest fear: the unknown. You never know what’s staring at you from your bedroom window. What is watching you in the bushes nearby? There is no greater fear than not knowing what is going on. I realized that the power of love was always inside me. But it was too late. He lied to my friends, my family, and my pets. Where are you going? All you have to do is turn around and learn that the power of love is inside all of us. But how do you know? Until the day you exhale, you can take care of your life without knowing what danger you’re exposing yourself to.

#1 I Lost my copy of Godzilla: Monster of Monsters for the NES

Godzilla: Monster of Monsters was the third video game I played in my life, and I have to say it’s the best. Much better than Ben 10 on the Game Boy Advance. It’s hard to believe it’s really gone and will never come back. From when I was 5 until Godzilla: Monster of Monsters on the NES decided to run away from me in May, there were a lot of pictures of me playing Godzilla: Monster of Monsters on the NES. I think you can even find game music on the internet. The music isn’t great, but the gameplay is great. I don’t understand why the NES version of Godzilla: Monster of Monsters decided to leave me alone. Where is Godzilla on the NES? are you happy

Godzilla: Monster of Monsters for the NES is a better game than the movie it’s based on. The game tells the story of a boy who is in direct conflict with demons and his dead girlfriend. Godzilla: Monster of Monsters from NES is the best! For several years I was playing it almost every day. The graphics are well done and believable, Godzilla is a great, pathetic protagonist and a great role model (not to mention sexy). The story is beautifully crafted! Big thanks to Toho for creating a masterpiece of Nintendo games.

Godzilla: Monster of Monsters on NES I miss you. I hope you can find the happiness you want.