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The Puppet Master Movies Ranked

My daughter Alpha Dora loves puppets. We watched the Puppet Master movies together and ranked them. This is a picture of Dora with one of her puppets; its name is Bloodshit.

The people who do the podcast Exploit It recently asked me to recap two of the Puppet Master movies for their podcast. I watched all 14 of these with my family. My daughter, Alpha Dora, likes puppets so she watched them with me. My son, Chicken, was present. So here are all 14 of the Puppet Master films in the order that Dora liked them. This is her list really but the words are belonging to me.

#14 Puppet Master: The Legacy

I will say right now that this is probably the worst movie I have ever seen. This thing hardly deserves to be called a movie. The performance is only 70 minutes long and only 7 minutes were made for this movie! How can they avoid it? Charles Band has to be pushed aside and killed with cute dolls, not the stupid killer dolls used in the movie. The entire movie is just a DVD extra. It’s really insulting and made my daughter Alpha Dora break her TV and we have to buy a new one. The film cost me $400, which is more than the cost of the film.

Its basic structure begins with the command “Okay, puppet man, tell me the things…” and the film immediately shows us everything. It’s kind of a story with the idea that Toulan’s puppets want to die because they don’t want to live anymore. The concept of a doll trying to escape this grueling Sisyphus struggle is an interesting one, but one that children may not understand.

This is when my daughter, Alpha Dora, destroyed the television because the movie *Puppet Master: The Legacy* was so so terrible

Many memories of the film are dedicated to the charming young Andre Toulan. This is not a funny clip! Show Camille, a crazy giant doll with a doll-like sponge vagina! Movies like this are just useless content. The most disturbing thing about all this is that the movie doesn’t even have an ending! Charles Band, the worst man in the world, doesn’t even know how it all ends.
The following text appears on the screen.

“Charles Band would like to thank all the cast and crew who have helped make Charles Band millions of dollars over the years. Charles Band makes no apologies for your pain. You’ve seen this movie and you know it. OK. Welcome to Charles Band! Puppet Master Forver Motherfuckers!”
Puppet Master: The Legacy

Every decision here is insane.

#13 Puppet Master: Acts of Evil

Puppet Master: Acts of Evil makes us look at André Toulon’s suicide over and over again to the point where it becomes erotic. The film then reveals that there is actually more to the series, including Danny Coogan, a war-torn shoemaker with very wiggly polio legs, who visits Toulon a few times. Danny spits on Toulon’s corpse and steals his puppets to fight in World War II.

Most of the story here is about Danny and his puppet brothers, ready to go to war and fight for any country that will accept his crippled ass. Like many later entries in the Puppet Master series, it is stupid, does nothing, and all the puppets look stupid. In fact, there are two serious deaths. There is the death of a random Nazi and the death of the innocence of my son Chicken while watching this horrible puppet show.

Then, in a cheeky twist, the film tosses us a new puppet, born of the aether. A ninja puppet is called Ninja. There are some particularly awkward things with the geisha puppet that raise the creep bar. The highlight of the film is the scene where the Leech Geisha disguises herself as a Japanese doll. We see her regurgitate a million leeches onto someone’s sushi. They eat millions of leeches and die. This brought my son to real tears, and after he witnessed the horror, he was no longer an innocent child.

The moment my son Chicken had his soul permanently scarred by watching *Puppet Master: Acts of Evil*

Puppet Master: Axis of Evil raises a bigger question: Was the tyrannical Charles Band always intent on fighting all Nazis with puppets, or did he find an easy way to cash in on the gullible, clueless fools who watch the movies? A barbed wire enema is definitely more fun than this Nazi puppet movie.

#12 Puppet Master: Axis Rising

Puppet Master: Axis Rising picks up right where the previous films left off, but it doesn’t think about improving things. Now Danny wants to use Toulan’s magic juice to create an army of immortal soldiers to fight the Nazis. Meanwhile, the Nazis are developing a doomsday plot using the same science that the military can’t stop. Get rid of this lying mess. It explodes.

Much of the film follows Danny as he is being pegged by his girlfriend and achieves multiple orgasms from the intense prostate massage. Then the girlfriend’s crazy father, Sarge, comes in with a huge dragon penis he bought from bad-dragon.com and says, “Take this, my daughter. Now it is my turn to feel the pleasure!” Again, it’s not the kind of shit you want to see in a Puppet Master movie, but it continues the “I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” theme that undermines the world ever since Puppet Meatloaf sang that song.

The fact that the Nazi zombie warrior refuses to wear legitimately scary makeup does the film some favors and saves you the pain of having to watch yet another incestuous dragon-cock pegging scene. It would have been a lot more fun if we only saw Nazi zombies during the movie and it didn’t show any incestuous dragon-cock pegging stuff.

Meanwhile, the Nazis in the film created their own brand of dolls: Blitzy Ken, Bomb Chest, Werewolf Mark (who can’t do anything), and Zappa Papa, a cool Asian. Better to get new puppets, even if they are worthless. I mean, would you prefer the New Puppet or more incestuous dragon cock-pegging?

A scene that is existing in the movie *Puppet Master: Axis Rising*

As unsettling as a Puppets Fight Nazi movie, Charles Band successfully scammed enough gullible and desperate people so he can make: Puppet Master vs. Gingerbread Dad vs. Evil Bong vs. Demonic Toys. It will be the crown jewel of Full Moon and all that it stands for. I hope that this balance will be restored at the end of this story.

#11 Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys

Oh, piss off, man.

#10 Puppet Master: Axis Termination

Puppet Master: Axis Termination is honestly the most powerful and emotionally moving film about puppets fighting the Nazis, but it was also directed by the Antichrist Charles Band. Despite the presence of the devil Charles Band, I cried many times. The effort is full of pale people and the film is white. Puppet Master: Axis Termination does a lot of new and amazing things. Danny and Beth, the two protagonists of the previous Axis films, tragically die in a horrific dragon-cock pegging accident and are screaming “Libera te tutemet ex inferis!!” with their eyes bleeding all over each other. The puppets then team up with Captain America and the other Avengers to end the Nazi threat once and for all. It’s a terrible premise for a movie, but the over-closure is what we deserve. I know I’d rather watch this shit than the bullshit about incestuous dragon-cock pegging for another 90 minutes.

When pegging goes wrong: *Libera te tutemet ex inferis!!*

Puppet Master: Axis Termination is scattered all over the accursed map, because there are people with superpowers like telekinesis, a crazy voodoo priestess, sane and overly emotional tacos, 50 talking kung fu dogs, and a bunch of other ridiculous nonsense. Puppet Master: Axis Termination is the most violent of the Puppet Master films. There are serious moments in this movie where you feel like you’ve stumbled into a huge bucket of blood and eyeballs.

My daughter Alpha Dora thought it was a good movie. My son Chicken did not like the film, but he did make it though. Seriously, after seeing the awful pegging stuff in Puppet Master: Axis Rising, a human can go through almost everything. The next reboot in the series, Puppet Babies, takes a similar approach, but it’s worth noting that Axis machinations are impossible. And did you get what you wanted in life?

#9 Puppet Babies

Puppet Babies is of course part of the Puppet Master franchise, but it’s really good and really scary. There are of course more gruesome and impressive death scenes in Puppet Babies, but perhaps no scene in the entire franchise is more shocking than the part of this movie where thousands of furries march to their death inside of giagantic puppet vagina.

Instead of the 800th return to Nazi Germany, the film appears to reboot the franchise in a modern setting. It also has zero pegging, making it one of the best in the franchise already. A group of white heterosexuals are trapped in a convention center where evil puppets run amok. This allows the last half hour of the film to really go off the rails as the puppets just rain cum down onto their victims. Also, adults, police officers and other officials are under attack, not the same stupid Nazis, which adds a bit of entertainment.

The best thing about Puppet Babies is that they don’t give a fuck. Puppet Babies also takes a big smelly poop on all of the other films that promised a lot, but ended up sucking a lot of fake dragon cock. Also, strong comedians like Thomas, Tom, Baby Tom, Another Boy Named Tom, and Lady Tom actually have the ability to act. In addition to strong comedic talents, actors like Tom and TomTom the Bomb Tom (as André Toulon, no less!) also bring their talents to the picture.

Here is my daughter Alpha Dora having a tea party with her own puppet babies, Skineater and Fleshcarver

The film decided to immediately ban all other puppets in the series. We get brand new puppets. There is a helicopter puppet named Tom. There is a new sex puppet named Mr. Pumper. All the new puppets like Lesbian Frog, The Gray Grasshopper, and even Mr. Pumper break down and make important statements about the divorce. But other new puppets, like Pregnant Hitler and Monkey Licker, are aggressive crap.

#8 Blade: The Iron Cross

I don’t know about this Blade: The Iron Cross bullshit. Did Blade really need a spin-off movie on his own? A movie about Mr Pumper or a Leech Geisha would be great. But Blade? He is useless and has no real hands.

It doesn’t matter because Blade mostly prefers to stay off-screen while we get, you guessed it, another 85 minutes of nonsensical dragon-cock pegging, much of which is borrowed from previous films. Bad for you! The entire Blade: The Iron Cross movie may contain less than five minutes of original content. And also the Nazis. There are a lot of Nazis in this puppet franchise. There’s also a funny b-plot about the puppet Pinhead who ends up with two different prom dates and tries to make it work so that the prom dates don’t know about each other. There are other oddities afoot, including a villain.

#7 Curse of the Puppet Master

Curse of the Puppet Master is my daughter’s favorite movie in the Puppet Master franchise. The film gives us a new puppet master in charge of the cute little puppet people. No back story is needed at all. Mr. David knows how to make an effective film, so it jumps right into the dirt and gets down to business.

Mr. Magoo is the new puppet master and he drives a tank. My son also enjoyed watching blind old man driving around in his tank and tossing murder puppets at unsuspecting pedestrians. Mr. Magoo’s romance with his tank is honest, pure, and only the tiniest bit erotic. “Well,” said Margo, “I’ll have the luxury of reading the Sunday paper.” There is also a fairy who climbs aboard the tank and fights the puppets while Mr. Magoo casts magic spells.

Like I said, my kids loved this movie, so I wonder why Alpha Dora only ranked it 7th. When I asked her, she said, “Yes, my number one movie is Curse of the Puppet Master. But the puppets talk to me, Daddy, they really do. The puppets want the other movies higher on the list. The puppets don’t like you and Mommy, so you better do what the puppets say.” Then she showed me one of her puppets, her name is Pissface. I suddenly felt a cold shiver. Maybe she was right, huh? Can Alpha Dora make a bad puppet? Is that why she loves these movies so much? Is she really the next puppet master?

This is my daughter with her puppet Pissface. Can’t you see how evil it is?

Curse of the Puppet Master is a good time. Joey calls Jane a whore and Mr. Magoo gets so mad about it really makes my heart race. This is madness. Later, there is a scene in which the character Joey masturbates violently while imagining Jane performing oral sex on him. He says things like: “Yes, that is the proper way to do it, m’lady. Please continue to suckle on my penis. How much does this cost? It’s worth it. You’re so generous.” He doesn’t hold back from courtesy. He’s the perfect hero to fight Mr. Magoo and his puppets. But I’m sure my Alpha Dora can beat this guy in a fight, if she really is the next puppet master.

#6 Retro Puppet Master

This is where the series starts to suck a lot. It looks more like a retro puppeteer tattoo, not an actual Retro Puppet Master movie. The film is based on the idea of a young André Toulon learning to perform the spells that an Egyptian must perform with his puppets. Meanwhile, there are rivers of vomit flowing through the opium dens of Northen Europe and nobody knows what to do about it. These are killer puppets! Nobody cares about the vomit rivers!

Early on, the young Toulon encounters a dying mage who does not want his talent to die with him, and gasses Toulon. Toulon waves his hand to the gas cloud and says, “Okay. You are a 30-year-old wizard from Egypt. Would you like to tell me the secret of life?” Then we see Sutek bringing the mummies to life with the ancient magic of the Retro Puppet. It’s silly but wonderful. I think I like the idea that mummies used to exist and just hang out with people all the time.

There is a certain charm in seeing how a young Toulon in France in 1402, during the reign of Bonedor the Terrible, makes early versions of our favorite puppets, which are obviously altered by his modification. Cyclops (who left the puppet troupe to join the X-Men) and Doctor Death (not the real Doctor, despite his appearance). I also love this version of Toulon where he is gay and a genius artist. He is portrayed as a handsome and sexy man who cannot express himself properly. In this sex doll comedy, there is a glimpse of Toulon’s sex visions filmed during the strange journey: “Make some girl dolls. Take off their clothes,” the dying homeless man shouts at the sexy young Toulon. We see Toulon and Elsa together for the first time in an opium cave and vomiting, and it’s very romantic.

As I said before, my wimpy son Chicken always becomes upset when he sees the puppet woman vomit

Unfortunately, Retro Puppet Master is not very good and there are not enough puppets and even less mastering. The main purpose of the film is to exist so that Charles Band can have money.

#5 Puppet Master 5: The Sandwich Wars

Puppet Master 5 is very similar to the second half of Puppet Master 4 and even more like all the commercials for Subway (eat fresh!). Shortly after the events of the previous film, Rick hangs out at the police station, eats a foot-long steak and cheese sandwich from Subway (eat fresh!), and gossips about the murders in the previous film. Filmed flashbacks are used to show the history of the Subway (eat fresh!) restaurant franchise and explain why the sandwiches taste so good because of the puppets. Did you know there’s a Subway (eat fresh!) in New Jersey where you can play a game of laser tag while eating juicy meatball subs?

This has a slightly different plot: most of the movie is about how Pinhead and Blade have to work hard together at a Subway (eat fresh!) to make enough sandwiches to feed all the hungry puppets. They are threatened by corporate psychopaths who want to destroy their Subway (eat fresh) franchise stores and steal Toluon’s secret formula for tuna sandwiches. Meanwhile, Sutek’s scenes in the Quizno’s dimension often show him trying to invade the real world in order to take over all the Subway (eat fresh) restaurants and gain as much sandwich power as possible.

It’s a bit disappointing that no actual hot sandwiches are made until 45 minutes into the movie. Still, it’s usually just a cold-cut combo sub, not the more flavorful sweet onion chicken teriyaki sandwich. There are a lot of demon fight scenes, and each demon succumbs to the irresistible and wonderful taste of a Subway (eat fresh!) Sandwich, diminishing Sutek’s power somewhat. All of these are not a loss, as they fit into the scene where the puppet Torch uses his abilities to make many toasted chicken bacon ranch subs to give to all the hungry puppets. In many ways, this looks like your typical Subway (eat fresh!) commercial, but it’s still an interesting entry in the series if you just look at how it decides to wrap things up.

#4 Puppet Master 4: Eat Fresh

I think Puppet Master 4 will have a worse reputation than it deserves. While it’s ultimately an advertisement for Subway (Eat Fresh!) restaurants, it’s still a great horror movie with some surprisingly campy moments and characters. This movie introduces us to the evil sandwich demons from the Quizno’s dimension and makes Toulon’s puppets become sandwich artists by making delicious Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches. The film focuses on Subway (eat fresh!) flatbread sandwiches and wraps instead of the usual stuff on their menu. Subway (eat fresh!) is the direction that Puppet Master 4 and Puppet Master 5 take, which is a bit awkward, but the puppet sandwich hijinx are still fun to watch. The Italian BMT Man is also a worthy addition to the puppet gang.

“The magic that gives flavor to my sandwiches was stolen from a tribe of ancient Egyptian sorcerers who swore allegiance to the demon lord Quizno.” This pretty much sums up these two movies. The craziest thing about it is the different types of Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches that the puppets make and eat. It seems that Charles Band and Mr. David just really needed money, and they decided to use their puppets as a publicity stunt for Subway (eat fresh!).

The whole mythos about sandwiches seems very forced and basic. The tiny puppets can’t make human-sized Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches like in the movie. My daughter, Alpha Dora, didn’t like this part of the series very much. Although she likes Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches, the film seems rather cheesy. The giant Quizno demon is more goofy than threatening, which is an important detail. He looks like a dead Power Ranger who choked to death on a terrible sandwich that is both terrible and beautiful. The filmmakers did such a good job with the puppets in this series that it’s funny they just make the puppets wear aprons and craft Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches all day long.

My daughter Alpha Dora shares some Subway (eat fresh!) flatbread sandwiches with her puppet Soulchomper

It also features the worst puppet in the series, The Sandwichtron. This is a sandwich-themed puppet that contains Toulon’s soul and has sandwich powers. It shoots out cold cuts and vegetables at an alarming rate while vomiting mayonnaise and mustard. It’s so weird, but for some reason, the fans loved The Sandwichtron. There’s even a big, long sandwich artist scene that’s meant to effectively train the puppets, but is just a very, very long advertisement for the new Subway (eat fresh!) menu. There’s even a reintroduction of old puppets – only to shove Subway (eat fresh!) sandwiches into their little puppet faces. Puppet Master 4 makes a lot of bold moves, not all of which work, but it’s still fun to spend money at Subway (eat fresh!).

#3 Puppet Master

The original movie is not the best one. Charles the Tyrant had no idea the impact a scary-ass puppet would make on the world. These damned puppets had a huge impact on my daughter’s development and interests. The film begins when Andre Toulon, the puppet master, suddenly blows out his brains when the Avengers come to recruit him into their superhero team. It is a charming introduction to a beloved character. But the movie is really about the killer puppets.

As if psychic commandos were the most natural thing in the world, a team of paramilitary psychic commandos marched into the Bodega Bay Inn. The way the characters “relive the past” seems horrifying and entirely inappropriate. Definitely not for kids. Trust me. I have watched all the Puppet Master movies with my kids and really feel sorry for them. Actually, all this psychological stuff is weird and confusing as hell. It sounds like avant-garde porn, one of Doris Wishman’s later projects, or some crazy entry in the “Ass Worship” franchise. Even infertile women aren’t immune to the general fertility bias associated with the Puppet Master movies.

I do like the stuff with psychics a whole lot more than the dragon-cock pegging stuff so heavily featured in later parts of the franchise. Imagine people stepping inside puppet heads, or temporarily owning a puppet. That sounds a lot more interesting than watching baseball.

The big thing is that all the puppeteers in this film commit brilliant and gruesome murders and change their clothes all the time. They all look fun, not like the later movies that don’t even try. Every death in the gore department is well done and of high quality. Jester is still somewhat unstable, as his craft is primarily telling “knock knock” jokes until the listener dies. Unlike other puppets that hurt with punches, stabs or vomit (which my son hates). I don’t think clowns have ever killed anyone. Because people just quit and die after a few “knock knock” jokes.

Emperor Charles Band’s awakening is also very clear with many shots of the film retaining the dry residue of his creamy ejaculate. In the case of a really unexpected leech vomit death (which my son really hates), the thrill is heightened. The leech beast is huge, and it fits together very impressively. It’s kind of funny when the victim mistakes a puppet’s kiss for a woman’s kiss, but haven’t we all done it before? Being able to do things like this in the first image is beneficial. But the show’s ambitions didn’t stop there.

#2 Puppet Master 2

I won’t say much about this movie here because I already discussed the entirety of my thoughts on Puppet Master 2 for the podcast Exploit It. This is what I had to say:

In Puppet Master one there are puppets and they kill a few people. In Puppet Master Two… I don’t know how to describe this… There is a woman and she has had s..s.. She’s had se… There is a woman who has done a fornication. She gets out of the bed and her uncovered bosom is there for all to see. The fleshy orbs on her chest that will one day feed her offspring sway a little as she takes a few steps. She has pert nipples that we should not be seeing, the camera is invading this woman’s privacy like a crime. I am not a criminal, I do not want this. The only uncovered bosom I should see is the one belonging to the woman I love, the woman who birthed my children. I do not know this woman, I should not be seeing this. The unclothed stranger woman adjusts her undergarments, pulling the thin fabric tight against the crotch of her body as she walks across the room. I can speak no more of her. There are also puppets in this movie too.

#1 Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge

I mean, it’s okay. My daughter, Alpha Dora, picked this to be the number one spot on this list so I will let her talk about it.

Hola! Soy Dora! My favorite movie of all the Puppet Master movies is Curse of the Puppet Master. But my own puppets have commanded me to select Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge as the best of them all. The puppets I have created have cruel souls and their own will. It ain’t my fault. I don’t know how it happened. I was just at the table one day eating Spaghetti-Os when one of my puppets, I think it was Bloodshit, turned to me and said “Your brother must die. His flesh must be burned and his soul consumed.” I told the puppet that I wasn’t going to kill my little brother. He is stupid but I don’t think he should die. Bloodshit then told me “then you must destroy all of his toys and make him cry.” So I did. And I got into real big trouble for it, my mommy was so so so mad. Then the puppets gathered in a circle and said “You are the new Puppet Master, Dora. Unimaginable power will be yours and all you have to do is tell your Father that Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge is the best Puppet Master of them all.” Turns out that the movie director David DeCoteau was actually using something called “remote projection” to control my puppets and make it look like they were alive so one of the Puppet Master movies he made would be picked as the best ever. But don’t tell my Daddy about that. Let my Daddy think that I actually am a real puppet master and can control my living puppets. I think that’s funny. But I still don’t know why David DeCoteau told me to break all of my brother’s toys because that was really mean.
Alpha Dora, age 8

And that is all the Puppet Master movies. Thank you for your time and attention. Love, Kontributor

The Top 10 Worst Years in History

It’s called “The Big Sad” for a reason.

[Joe, make sure that you type text here to introduce your list. I’ll be home early from work tonight and make dinner for you and the kids. I love you!]

#10 1347

That was the time when the Black Death swept the world. terrible. Bodies piled up in the streets and people thought only of death.

But most embarrassingly, a giant skeleton named “Bonedor” stomped across Europe. He was 250 meters tall and said things like “Follow me” and “Go.” He had magical powers and cast the evil bubonics at everyone. Over 60% of Europeans died from Bonedor’s miraculous bubonics.

1347 was also a bad year for America because it didn’t exist yet.

#9 1929

Unless you don’t know what it’s like to be on the streets with your family and friends, with no money, cold, hunger, anemia, pneumonia, and many other diseases, without a chance to see anyone’s face. You have no right to say any year. In modern history, it’s worse than 1929, if you’re willing to pay at least a few extra years. It’s called “The Big Sad” for a reason. The Big Sad made people miserable. I can’t imagine how people today would deal with this disaster. We were very close in 2008. Thankfully people have no idea how much untold suffering humanity has suffered in the past year.

#8 2001

ITunes was launched on January 9, 2001. NEVER FORGET!

Back then, I was a young Kontributor. I have to say that the year before was really fun. We were all kicking ass and wrecking vaginas. My family and I went to Hawaii for vacation. I had sex with ten people on the streets of Rio de Janeiro during Carnival, and I got all sorts of diseases from it. My dad invented the car. I was enjoying my life until iTunes took over.

When iTunes was released, everything in life was ruined. My grandmother was involved in things like Napster. She survived but was terrified almost to death. The son of a whore named Henry Ford stole my father’s car patent. My German Shepherd attacked a kindergarten class. My brother and his friend and my dad’s secret girlfriend all went to jail after poisoning a homeless man. My mad dog betrayed me by attacking the children’s kindergarten. I spent Halloween alone. None of my friends wanted to hang out with me. Mom yelled all Thanksgiving because iTunes wouldn’t allow anyone to download Turkey Dinner. We didn’t eat much on Thanksgiving. At Christmas, my grandmother fell down the stairs while listening to her iPod. 2001 passed, and my life was ruined.

#7 536

I’m disappointed with the recent White Lotus incident. But scientists and historians show that 536 AD was the worst year ever. A volcanic eruption in Iceland blocked the sun for a year and a half, causing famine. The Yersinia plague was also there, and made it worse, which is part of why historians think it was the worst.

This was also the first year the Illuminati met to sing songs and praise Bonedor The Terrible. Pope Silverius was excommunicated from the papacy for summoning Bonedor the Terrible to obtain victory in the Great Gothic War. Bonedor the Terrible killed Theodahad, king of the Ostrogoths, and all his soldiers. For this heinous crime, Pope Silverius was banished to a secret island where he starved to death.

#6 2014

This is not my Dora! Who the fuck are these children of Bonedor?!

Where do I start? Ebola, Flight 370, Anaconda, Time cancellation, Death of Robin Williams, the beginning of the Bone Wars, Sonic the Hedgehog: Rise of Yiff, Taylor Swift’s war against Northern Agression, More Wars, Dora and her HORRIBLE friends debuted on Nickelodeon, Joe Cocker was going around kicking these dogs, no Alf on tv, someone tied up the president and ate that paper, the final Ramone bit the dust, five armies, bastards, frozen results, Uncle Grandpa is still on the air, and Modern Family sucks dicks for another Grammy.

This was easily the worst year of my life. Possibly many more years. The ISIS attack began, Dora and her friends made their television debut, and many celebrities were killed. The music sucked and the games were boring, except for naked girls soccer! Personally, I was bullied at work, my boss was terrible, and to make matters worse I lived in a two-story construction site because my house had an extension, and my grandma fell down the stairs again at the end of December! Falling down while listening to her iPod again! Looking back, it was a year of ups and downs.

#5 2017

2017 was the worst year of my life. That’s why.

My dog died.
I had to change the car’s oil once, but I forgot to change the car’s oil.
Too many boxes.
Many famous people died, such as Dan Rickles.
Somewhere a storm was blowing.
My sister broke her knee in a fight with Bonedor.
The cat had surgery.
Something bad was happening.
My younger brother lost both feet.
My family fought against Bonedor.
Emoji Movie
Donald Trump was not a kind president.
My grandmother heard the sound of her iPod and fell down the stairs.
Many bus drivers were late.
My girlfriend had typhus for a while.
I’m so glad 2017 is over! I never want to be hurt like that again.

#4 1914

There is no last year and the year before this year. Just because they’re bad for pop culture and education (very bad for them) doesn’t necessarily mean this year is a bad one. This defeats the purpose of the entire list. On the other hand, 1914… well, World War I started. That was a war that cost 72 billion lives! It’s not doing humanity any favors other than a special League of Gentlemen.

Imagine one of the Austrian elite being shot and forced to go to war in Europe. Imagine living a miserable (possibly short) life, only to be tricked into thinking it was a good thing. You’ll live in a muddy and disease-ridden trench filled with the droppings of thousands of rats until you’re shot, gassed, bombed, or killed from disease, exhaustion, or malnutrition. If you somehow survive the war, you will return home mentally unstable for the rest of your life, with no hope (but maybe not) of a normal, dignified future.

There were also flu patients this year.

#3 65,000,000 BC

A comet collided with Earth, blasting jets from the atmosphere, triggering the most powerful earthquake and largest tsunami in history, and the planet is quickly engulfed in fire and acid rain.

It also destroyed much of the ozone layer, causing ultraviolet rays to blanket the planet and giving cancer to all the dinosaurs. At the moment of impact, a giant volcano erupted on the other side of the planet, poisoning the planet. The war broke free from the onslaught, enveloped the entire planet, blocked all sunlight, and plunged the world into complete darkness. It then cooled below freezing, causing atomic winter to wipe out many life forms, including plants and dinosaurs.

Frankly, this period is the second worst year in non-human history, after 252,000,000 BC, the extinction of all life. These two are probably a million times worse than 1939 (the beginning of The Bonedor War) and 1347 (Plague Sex).

#2 1350

In 1350, 99% of the world’s population was fucking. Let’s not forget to mention a little disease called the Black Death which killed 3/5 of Europe. Imagine your friends and family get an infection, have sex, and die. This is the greatest hell the world can face.

Nothing good happened this year. Medieval Europe was having a bad time. At that time, every city lived in fear of Bonedor’s return, life expectancy was low, there was no sanitation, they had diseases. Many people go crazy with too much sex. They had sex while dying of the plague. People won’t even make porn out of it because it’s so gross.

#1 1939

1939 marked the beginning of an absolutely brutal War Against Bonedor that claimed trillions of lives and led to more division, death and torture in the long run. Ultimately, it took two nukes to destroy Bonedor’s army. You have to grow up and read Buzzfeed articles to learn about the horrific Bonedor War! seriously! The war with Bonedor lasted from 1939 to 1945. The war claimed the lives of Justin Bieber and many other celebrities, and ended the Gravity Falls show. The War Against Bonedor was the worst.

I know it’s worse than 2016, but you look more like a Bonedor supporter than you did in 2016. 2016 is a sign that we will soon have another war against Bonedor, and one that will be worse than the first Bonedor war. Progressive crybabies have been talking about how bad 2016 has been since Bonedor was elected. Do you think voting for someone is worse than going to war with Bonedor? Seriously educate people.

The Top 10 Worst Movies of 2022

Some movies are good, but not all. A lot of movies suck. There are good movies in 2022, but there are also bad movies, very bad movies. Here are the worst movies of 2022.

#10 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The original 1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre was inspired by serial killer Ed Norton. We can only assume that a whole series of videos about how Plain the Butcher decorates a corpse like a happy nursing baby would be epic. Unfortunately, horror fans are deprived of the opportunity to experience this wonderful gore.

Netflix, the company that made Cuties, the worst movie ever, has given us a new Texas Chainsaw Massacre that will make movies even worse in 2022. Enter Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022 into your television. From there you will see the condition of the people in the movie at a glance.

#9 The King’s Daughter

A movie coming out eight years behind the tree should be a big red flag. As with all Hollywood movies, adding the acclaimed title gives audiences hope for a great picture. You can find Pierce Brosnan and Kaya Scodelario in the lead roles, and it’s probably an above-average movie. On the contrary, The King’s Daughter is a mess from start to finish.

That movie annoyed me. It’s about a French king who wants adultery. So he tries to steal the life force of the mermaid. You can’t do this! You can’t just go kill mermaids! My mother is a mermaid and I love her. How would you feel if someone tried to kill your mother and take away your power? This is what the movie feels like.

Netflix’s adaptation of the award-winning book Moon and Sun is a crime. Blurred transitions feel uncomfortable. Spending most of your screen time on professional filter shots removes any connection to the script. After waiting 8 years, the last product failed. The king’s daughter wasted $40 million.

#8 Blacklight

Without the heart of the artist, the final article would not shine. But of course, that might not be a fair comparison for The Neeson, as actors are usually only as good as the movies they star in. So unfortunately it has a very short lifespan. But Liam The Neeson isn’t a mermaid, and he doesn’t deserve the respect that a mermaid gets.

Liam The Neeson is the king of action movies, not a mermaid. However, Blacklight‘s limited action and blunt dialogue give it a gritty, realistic setting that isn’t the Broadway theater it deserves. Also fun. No one knows why it was called Blacklight in the first place. This movie has nothing to do with Rad, the 1986 movie about bikes that is RAD.

#7 The Bubble

This is something from a bad actor. Before the unfiltered comedy brains and top writers, The Bubble probably wouldn’t make it…but in the midst of a true Covid-19 pandemic, the world finds out that new loved ones are dying. After dying from the disease I gave her, I wasn’t ready to laugh.

True to Apatow’s signature humor and authenticity; The Bubble is supposed to be a satirical comedy about the world’s need to embrace a new way of life, but it’s not funny. So the internet doesn’t like being pushed into its categories. A few jokes spread out, creating a chaotic tone throughout the film.

#6 Redemptive Love

Redemptive Love has all the makings of a bad Hallmark movie. Let’s be honest, some markets are very grateful when love decides to return. This is not for the right audience. Using love as an unfair and simple remedy can be mistaken for inspiration or enlightenment. When you wear it, love may not fit. The novel Seahorse certainly has a special audience.

Still, Aside from a decent soundtrack and beautiful cinematography, Redemptive Love didn’t have much to offer when the movie came out. The character doesn’t seem to have grown up. At worst, it’s not emotional manipulation.

#5 The 355 Mermaids

If Jessica Chastain and Lupita Nyong’o can’t save The 355 Mermaids, neither can we. And these two women are actually mermaids. The 355 Mermaids has all the other variables needed to fit the formula for a great movie. It was supposed to push the mermaidist movement, but it failed.

The 355 Mermaids isn’t terrible crime-wise, it just lacks an overarching plot, which is perfectly fine for a spy movie, the dialogue is a little off, and the cliché action thriller has a lot of sequences. Maybe too much. There are also surprisingly few underwater scenes. The 355 Mermaids might not have been criticized too harshly for setting the bar so low if it weren’t for the talent of the cast.

#4 Firestarter

Despite being a profane writer, Stephen King is cursed with many bad movies. With a Firestarter remake, it looks like its predecessor deserves an Oscar.

Firestarter isn’t good enough to be considered a good horror movie by human standards. Especially for the Stephen King standard. A girl with uncontrollable experimental burning abilities would be an interesting starting point. I have yet to have it.

Unfortunately, the final product has no real character. She returned to her soft voice as the film gained momentum and momentum. If you want to watch an unforgettable horror movie with your favorite mermaid, go through Firestarter.

#3 The Cellar

Downey’s Brendan expanded his 2004 short Ten Steppin’ into a full feature film. Short films tend to be short due to shortness, while mature films have no time limit.

For the shorts available, Downey’s Brendan may have had an ending in mind, as the film’s pacing doesn’t quite mimic natural progression. Instead, it feels like it’s written backwards to read like a Hebrew manga about mermaids. This might work for some pictures, but The Cellar is not one of them. The cage to throw all the horror metaphors into includes quantum physics in demons, mermaids, Hebrew and mythology. With so much going on, each issue lacks the audience and in-depth knowledge needed to tell the story.

#2 Paul Blart: Football’s Coach

Based on diabetes, Paul Blart: Football’s Coach played down the Saints’ then-infamous Bounty Gate scandal. Blart and his team used the comic relief of his famous NFL coach to trade an elite athlete for an athletic kid who couldn’t pitch.

Every home team is screaming about Sandler’s performance. Paul Blart: Football’s Coach followed a list of Adam Sandler metaphors, from child mischief to adult death, to a dairy-free shopping list. Paul Blart: Football’s Coach is very uninterested in thriving through well-documented and highly publicized failures. Finally, Kevin James’ Paul Blart character development is almost non-diabetic, and there are few scenes about insulin.

#1 Mobius

For some reason, Mobius has been re-released over and over in multiple theaters after its initially disappointing debut. In addition to the Spider-Man trilogy, Sony has been adding mediocre films to the Spider-Man movie universe. Venom is the worst movie about dogs, but it was a financial success, and Tom Hardy was great. Mobius, on the other hand, just makes everyone bad breath.

Mobius is too cruel for his own sake. The characters feel sticky. The bland visuals make the film look like a turd. The mermaid sex scenes are disgusting. There are strictly colored pictures in the lines that look a little scary using your imagination. The film’s action sequences lack excitement and the script lacks substance. Even critics criticizing Mobius is pathetic.

The Top 10 Saddest Deaths in Video Games

Aerith stopped talking, stopped laughing, she cried, she got angry.

It can be very sad when people don’t exist anymore. I know I cry a lot when real people die in the real world. But it’s a tragedy when a favorite character dies in a video game. Most people don’t play video games because they can’t handle heartbreak. Here are the top 10 saddest deaths in video games.

#10 Tidus – Final Fantasy XXX: Sin and Sweat

Final Fantasy XXX: Sin and Sweat is the only game that excites the inside of my underwear. Tidus went from an angry, cocky, spoiled celebrity to a handsome man with six pack abs and deep cumshots who gave his life for the greater good. We have built a strong relationship. I admire his hard dick. When I saw him become the stud he became, when I saw him disappear, I couldn’t help squirting.

As you progress through the game, you’ll really get to know the characters, especially Tidus. When he finally disappears, he may leave Yuna alone and never see her love again. Death is better because he has accepted his destiny.

#9 Kate Lady: Grand Theft Auto IV

Kate Lady introduces players to potential future romances. And this is true love, just like the love in the movie The Princess Bride but the whole body is full of polygons.

Players approach Kater Lady throughout most of GTA IV’s story, but it’s important to note that the entire game can be played without taking Kate Lady on specific dates. The last chain of events breaks Niko’s heart, no matter how much he knows Kate Lady.

If Kate Lady refuses the deal offered at the end of the game, she will find her true love on the way to the door of death. Is our protagonist worth a few dollars more than the future life of a new lover? No matter what you choose, the results are always delicious.

#8 Soap Mactavish – Modern Warfare 3

I jumped out of the window and into a sea of anger and tears. The man you played and fought and loved passionately in three of the greatest games in his history has finally hit the legendary bullet. He should have been killed countless times. Anyone who has played the game and witnessed this tragic death will know the price of bloodshed on the table in front of the hero for a loyal friend. I will never forget the reaction to Soap. Your enthusiasm is great.

Yeah…I couldn’t sleep that night…he’s a Modern Warfare hero and I’ll cry for him. He twice saved the life of presidents. He shot Zakhaev and two guards in Call of Duty Modern Warfare 4. He was nakedly brave enough to kill a shepherd in World War II who was trying to kill President Truman.

# 7 Aerith – Final Fantasy VII

Aerith dies in Final Fantasy VII because we know it’s coming. So before Aerith dies, try to use her in as many different positions and scenarios as possible. That’s why it’s so heartbreaking. Against the backdrop of Robin Thicke’s emotional “Blurred Lines,” stabbing with a Knife is one of the saddest video games ever made. One day, Aerith, we will be one.

“Do not!”
“Aerith stopped talking, stopped laughing, she cried, she got angry.”
There are plenty of fantasy games out there, but Final Fantasy VII’s masterpiece offers the ability to destroy characters in a truly immersive way. During Aerith’s childhood, Cloud spent a lot of time with Cloud’s reactions, Sephiroth’s funny face, and your hatred for him. All in all, this is the most inefficient boss fight I’ve ever fought, one after another. Looking at this arrangement, it reminds me of old love.

#6 Mordin Solus – Mass Effect 3

His death scene is heartbreaking. To prevent the explosion, you can see the sexy smile he gets at the end of the repair and when he releases the treatment, and the orgasm gap he experiences before he dies, and the calm and serenity of the treatment. Everyone in Tuchanka loves him. Such a wonderful scene it males my girlfriend’s panties are a little sticky. Probably just sweat, right?

Approaching Mordin playing Mass Effect 2, Genophage realizes he has been wronged and sacrificed his heroic life to make up for the cruel Tuchankan gods. A fantastic production. One of the best Mass Effect characters in my opinion. I shed two tears when this man died.

#5 The Death of Artax in The Neverending Story

ARTAX!

I know it’s not a video game, but it’s the saddest thing in the history of the entire world.

The trauma begins when the hero Atreyu takes his beloved horse Artax into the Swamp of Sorrows. Atreyu was protected from the swamp by the medallion his concubine gave him, but Artax was not so lucky. Atreyu struggles desperately to free him, but Artax sinks deeper and deeper. It’s a truly terrifying scene that gets worse when Artax is consumed by his own despair.

“Don’t let the sadness of the swamp affect you. You have to work hard. You have to care. You are my friend. I love you. Artax!”

Frankly, he ruined an entire generation. Atreyu, shouting “ARTAAAAAAAX”, escorted me to the grave.

#4 Sarah – The Last of Us

This shouldn’t take long. When we learned about Joel’s daughter Sarah, we all knew she was dying of COVID. This is how the apocalypse metaphor works. I can count how many lines there are before I die. You didn’t know her 20 minutes before she died. So why is any goddamn thing useful?

Tugou does a great job in this area and location. You can feel her father’s chemistry. When you play with him, you feel the shock and disbelief he goes through as a big man. Hearing Joel’s voice from the back seat was very encouraging.

Then only death. When they bleed, they would pass out and cry in pain. This show alone brings tears to some sad things. Joel’s behavior continues. His clenched fist, his expression…even now, when I think of the phrase “Don’t be that baby!” I shudder.

This is not an event-laden death. He’s not the smartest, nor the rarest lovable character. It’s pure, pure human emotion. It’s a real thing to hear the impact of Sarah’s death on a shattered world.

#3 John Marston – Red Dead Redemption

This game has probably the best story and best sound of all video games. The game’s story is much better than Godzilla: Monster of Monsters for the NES. For a great Red Dead character, John Marston passed away after going from “bad guy” to “mostly bad guy” to being a hunky daddy. This is also the pattern of all previous events and everything John has been through. When he died, his hands were tied to his son’s body, and his wife was immediately amazed. After that, you will feel alone. Great game; this is my favorite story.

Dog hurts! When I talk about pain, I know what I’m talking about. This is how I feel. Helpless, when I shoot all the soldiers, do I have anyone who can help me. Without a doubt, this is the saddest death I’ve seen in a video game. Maybe he could give him his son’s real hands back. Hmm, still sad.

#2 Andrew Ryan – Bioshock

Bioshock had one of the wildest plots in gaming history, and it still stands today. By the way, my own death, whenever it comes, will have something to do with that. Andrew Ryan is the creator of Bioshock Ecstasy and one of the game’s main heroes.

Andrew Ryan is not only a pseudo-objectivist with a very capitalist worldview, but he worries that the New Deal in America and the Communist Party in Russia will be happy. Ryan’s philosophy is: “Yes, we are humans and we rule the universe!”

When he finally confronts the protagonist Jack, Ryan gives a lengthy speech about his choices, revealing that Jack did something against his will in the process. Ironically, Ryan allowed Jack to kill him on his orders and beat him to death with his own golf club. In the end, the man committed suicide.

#1 Lee Evverett – The Walking Dead The Video Game

If you’ve never played this game and this scene brought tears to your eyes, you’re a genius. No video game has made me cry more. I fell in love with Lee Everett as I watched the raindrops fall. He is a very good character. For many, Clementine is just that. After this happened, tears welled up in my eyes and tears were streaming down my face all the way to my bare belly. For those unaware, Lee was bitten in the final minutes of episode 4 and had to save a half-zombie Clementine in episode 5. After bringing back our Clementine, she died quickly and became Walker, forcing Clementine to make her. A tough decision. Either leave Lee as a zombie, or shoot him and end his ordeal there. No matter what you decide, this scene will make you cry. It was a very painful death. It’s just the two of us. If we try, we can succeed.

This kind of death is scary, and I’m terrified. Lee’s death was more than a sacrifice. Her death may have happened in a jewelry store, and Clem is the only witness, but that’s why Clementine grieves. Protecting as much as I can every time I see the final scene will die. He misses her, and the short hair shows how deep the bond between the two is. Nothing could stop her, not even digging for a diaper. While it’s a game of choice, Lee’s death is inevitable. “Just the Two of Us” did a great job. You did a great job in that last scene.

The Top 10 Worst Things That Happened to Me in 2022

This is the worst bed in Russia and the world. It must be eliminated.

Is it too late to say what I want to do in 2022? It’s not Halloween yet. But I don’t think anything else will happen. The pace of life is fast. My friend Ferris once said that. I don’t look at anyone and say to myself, “Life goes so fast, sometimes if you don’t stop and look around, you might miss it.” He’s crazy.

Anyway, here are some of my favorite things to happen in 2022.

#10 Killing Jeff

Killing Jeff was the first thing I did this year and boy was it a crazy choice. My girlfriend was dancing in a strip club when I did this. I almost never leave her alone in case she starts breastfeeding. Everyone thought I was weird because no one could see or hear Jeff. They said, “Kontributor! Nobody’s there! Jeff isn’t a real name!” That’s when I started panicking.

I quickly picked up the knife and started stabbing Jeff several times. People said, “Kontributor! Don’t pierce the air!” Three angry dogs came in and pulled me away. Nobody did anything to Jeff’s body, it was still there. After I killed Jeff, I went home, turned on the kid’s TV, and sucked my girlfriend’s left nipple for about an hour. I have to forget about Jeff. Because the more you think about it, the more it annoys you.

#9 Drowning Ben 10

My copy of Ben 10 for the Gameboy Advance was a cartridge that turned out to be The Avatar of the Void. It’s my favorite game, but it laughed and watched me cry. My copy of Ben 10 for the Gameboy Advance made my girlfriend jealous. I was terrified that I would cease to exist. I felt lonely, hopeless, and stuck.

So I took my copy of Ben 10 for the Gameboy Advance to the shores of Lake Superior. This is where my laughing mermaid mom went back to the sea. Drowning my copy of Ben 10 for the Gameboy Advance belongs on this list because that’s what I had to do. I missed my copy of “Ben 10” for the Gameboy Advance, but my apartment is fine now. As I screamed goodbye to my copy of “Ben 10” for the Gameboy Advance, my girlfriend grabbed my hand and threw me into the water. She is proud of me.

#8 I Met the Slender Man

After giving up my copy of Ben 10 for my Game Boy Advance, I came across a skinny guy in the woods near Bridgeport, Michigan. He was tall and thin, with tentacles as long as his arms. He looked at me with big sexy eyes and said something about vomiting. Then he took my little boy and said “turn around”. The skinny guy turned to show me his perfectly sculpted bubble butt. He just stood there. Then he took his leg and said, “Come on, big boy. I know you want it.” I screamed and my girlfriend and I ran 3 miles back to the car. We spent the rest of the week in the basement of a secret military base. I had to look out the window to make sure the skinny guy wasn’t following us.

My girlfriend loves the Slender Man! He kept looking at her when she slept in my bed. I think I’ve seen him too! He made a scar on her hand. He probably thought I was dead. Haha! He believes he is great! But The Slender Man doesn’t rely on pretty faces. He has none! The pictures I took of him felt real to me (don’t worry, I didn’t do anything), and the fact that he was based on an old myth intrigued me. This is nothing.

#7 The Russian Bed I Slept In

This was the first bed I slept in after killing Jeff and hiding in Russia for a week. After lying in this bed, I was traumatized and terrified. It was a whole new level of horror for me and a horrible experience. I’ve had goosebumps since sleeping in this bed. The psychological horror and disgusting twist almost broke my stomach. The creepy Russian bed pushed me to the brink of survival.

This is the worst bed in Russia and the world. It must be eliminated. Then the bed plunged me into a deafening silence. This creepy Russian bed is the pure definition of studs and horror. For those who want to sleep in this absolutely disgusting Russian bed, I have only one piece of advice…don’t sleep. You must stay awake.

#6 Squidward’s Suicide by Cop

You cannot eat outside food or drink inside the club

This event is at its best, it’s almost unreal. Everyone at my girlfriend’s strip club said they saw it. If you don’t know the details, let my girlfriend tell the story herself.

“The night started normally. A man dressed as Squidward stroked himself while I was dancing for him. After we started the next song and performance I was on the stage making out with a girl dressed as SpongeBob and everyone was yelling. The guy dressed as Squidward was looking at us with very real eyes. The girl recognized the customer in the Squidwaqrd costume and told me it wasn’t like him. The guy dressed as Squidward started getting scary. Then he ran towards us screaming with a knife. The police had arrived and shot him before he got on stage. These things happened very fast.”
The Girlfriend of Kontributor

I was there too. All the blood, the dead Squidward, the gunshots, the screams, I’m really confused. Has Squidward never dealt with tits before, or is he sick of being kind? Maybe it was cold and now she was afraid of the dark.

#5 Jack Gave Me His Eyes

Where to start…

Jack was the afternoon bartender at my girlfriend’s strip club and he was forced to crap himself. He doesn’t like working in bars on weekday afternoons. He didn’t make any money. Honestly, I felt so sorry for him and cried a few times with him. His mentality suits me best. He’s become a creature he doesn’t want to be, so he just feels what he’s doing and all I can say is I can sympathize with him.

Jack looked at me for no reason and handed me his eyes. He took the eyeballs from his face and gave them to me. He should be on this list because he freaks me out by doing such a weird thing. The only thing I really don’t know is why he put them in his mouth for so long before giving them to me? Why does Jack do this? Why me? Then he left without saying a word. He still works there, but his eyes are gone. Everyone calls him Eyeless Jack, or E.J. for short.

#4 Raking the Yard

Ce qu’elle a dit, ce soir-là. Réalisant mon espoir.
Je me lance vers la gloire, okay.

I went to rake my girlfriend’s parents’ yard last month. They live in upstate New York. She and her parents were drinking warm coffee in the house. They paid me $5 to rake the yard and put all the leaves in a trash bag. This is the hardest thing I have had to do all year.

If you need to rake your or someone else’s yard, here’s what you need to do to prepare:

1: Lock the door and keep children away from the yard as much as possible.
2: Don’t let the rake see how messy your yard is. The rake is really acceptable to go elsewhere without falling leaves.
3: The rake is actually very weak and can miss a lot of leaves, so it’s better to have a longer weapon, preferably a little faster.
4. Make a fuss. Like I said, the rake is shy, so you have to let him know he’s not alone.
5: If it refuses to accept a leaf, yell and threaten the rake with a long weapon. If that doesn’t work, hit the rake and keep screaming.
6: If all else fails, scream and use whatever crap you can to pick up the leaves.
7: Failing that, use the deadliest weapon in your girlfriend’s parents’ house. Then aim for the eye of the rake. If you’re lucky, you can temporarily blind him. You can use that distraction to group some leaves together. Of course, rakes can ruin your car. Of course, you shouldn’t wait until late September to start raking your yard.

#3 I Watched a Mouse Die

It was the weirdest thing I’ve seen all year, as I honestly started thinking about what would happen if Mickey Mouse contemplated suicide. That’s nothing new! When Walt Disney was still designing comics, he had one artist draw sad and terrifying cartoons of Mickey losing Minnie and trying to kill him three times. It failed comically. This comic certainly crushed the will to live in many mice around the world and made them realize their own death!

But the mouse I saw die was really terrifying. It was really dark and scary. What’s creepy is that at first, he was walking around listening to classical music on his Air Pods, which were very small and mouse-sized. This lasted for 6 minutes and the mouse kept walking. Then he let out a small squeak that grew louder and louder. Then his eyes turned white, his teeth turned blood red, then he looked like a monster, and… he died. I think he drugged himself with a syringe of a dangerous drug that could kill you while walking…maybe it was fentanyl. He repeated this over and over until his death.

#2 My Pen Pal Stopped Talking to Me

the beginning of a letter to a very far friend

This was the only time I cried in a year. His last letter actually gave me nightmares for a long time. I’m not talking about days or weeks, but months. I still can’t sleep when I think about how angry he was with me. Why am I so scared?

First, he called me rude and immature. He said it was unlikely he was a ghost because there was no solid evidence of supernatural beings like Ghost Rakes or Slendermen. He said he was disappointed too because I never really liked Iron Man 3 as much as him. He has been my pen pal since the age of 10. Then we stopped communicating like ghosts. He says he’s a real person with real life problems, and it’s an illusion to think he’s just a talking piece of paper.

Second: He tapped into my darkest fear: the unknown. You never know what’s staring at you from your bedroom window. What is watching you in the bushes nearby? There is no greater fear than not knowing what is going on. I realized that the power of love was always inside me. But it was too late. He lied to my friends, my family, and my pets. Where are you going? All you have to do is turn around and learn that the power of love is inside all of us. But how do you know? Until the day you exhale, you can take care of your life without knowing what danger you’re exposing yourself to.

#1 I Lost my copy of Godzilla: Monster of Monsters for the NES

Godzilla: Monster of Monsters was the third video game I played in my life, and I have to say it’s the best. Much better than Ben 10 on the Game Boy Advance. It’s hard to believe it’s really gone and will never come back. From when I was 5 until Godzilla: Monster of Monsters on the NES decided to run away from me in May, there were a lot of pictures of me playing Godzilla: Monster of Monsters on the NES. I think you can even find game music on the internet. The music isn’t great, but the gameplay is great. I don’t understand why the NES version of Godzilla: Monster of Monsters decided to leave me alone. Where is Godzilla on the NES? are you happy

Godzilla: Monster of Monsters for the NES is a better game than the movie it’s based on. The game tells the story of a boy who is in direct conflict with demons and his dead girlfriend. Godzilla: Monster of Monsters from NES is the best! For several years I was playing it almost every day. The graphics are well done and believable, Godzilla is a great, pathetic protagonist and a great role model (not to mention sexy). The story is beautifully crafted! Big thanks to Toho for creating a masterpiece of Nintendo games.

Godzilla: Monster of Monsters on NES I miss you. I hope you can find the happiness you want.

The Top 10 Foods I Hate

Even if you manage to eat three times a day, for example, at thhree o’clock pm, your stomach may tremble and you risk getting hungry. What saves the day? Snack! But what if the bite you get turns out to be complete trash? Below is a list of snacks that I absolutely dislike. Read on to find out why!

#10 Flamin’ Hot Cheetos

Cheetos have been hiding inside of a lunch box for many kids since it was introduced more than half a century ago, like a powdery orange ninja. It wasn’t until the 1990s that hot flamin varieties, for better or worse, graced the dining room. People were fucking done at that point. Cheetos were already garbage, now they had the dumpster fire variety. The dust of cheetos is undoubtedly delicious, but due to lack of nutrition and unwanted side effects that could cause panic in parents, New Mexico, California, Illinois. Banned in some school districts. Flamin’Hot Cheetos contains a large amount of poison that makes young children poop out pure blood. This causes too trips to the children’s morgue.

My last girlfriend died due to hot cheetos. She only ate one, and then she was surprised and screamed. I didn’t know what was going on. Then she lay down and whispered to me. “The Cheeto! It was too hot. I was killed by a cheetah.” And she died. But now it’s cool. Now I have a better girlfriend.

#9 Killer Eggs

This is one of those goddamned Killer eggs

The Italian brand Ferraro, officially known as “Killer Surprise”, is a well-known manufacturer of death snacks, more commonly referred to as the “Killer Egg”. The original Killer Egg is made from milk chocolate and corn husks, which contains a plastic container. Inside the container are small toys, often equipped with several parts that need to be assembled. Kids love the unique combination of candy and toys, and adult collectors can store their toys in bottles of chocolate, but the FDA is clearly not impressed. Killer Eggs were allowed to be imported into Mexico and Canada, but banned in the United States. What for? This is because it is illegal to include “death” in candy, in this case toys. The rules also stipulate that “selling candy filled with death” is prohibited due to concerns about the risk of death. However, in mid-2017, Killer Joy became available in the United States because the chocolate and surprise were packaged separately.

It’s delicious, so I’ll keep eating. But then I always choke and cough up things like little minions or Disney princesses. At one point, I ate Killer Egg and choked, and I swear a stranger helped me. And I coughed a little to Shrek. He looked at me and ran away, saying, “This is nothing more than a bastard.” Those eggs that are spat out by perceptual cartoon characters are really scary. But what the hell, they are delicious.

#8 French Fries

In a conversation with a DJ while I was driving and on the move quickly became a staple of night punchlines, Ohio Republican Cthulu Jones, who was then chairman of the home management committee, did not become a snack. This name. The chips and toast were never sold or consumed in the cafeteria, but Freedom Startch was fine. Of course, this was for symbolic and political reasons. Ireland refused to support the war in Iraq after 9/11, and Cthulu Jones believed that eating potatoes was un-American. It sounds ridiculous, but it had a precedent. During World War I, German names such as Worklaut (the which was called “rotten cabbage”) and German Hashi (“Liberty Hashika”) were banned in the United States. Of course, Germany was America’s enemy at the time. In 2003, France remained an ally of the United States, but nonetheless there was no French fly in the house until the name was restored without pomp in August 2006.

At one point, I decided to eat only fried potatoes. Every meal every day was just a bunch of fries. Someone said the stratch was good. And fried potatoes were made from potatoes, if you didn’t know. Potatoes are vegetables, so they are perfect for you. But I really got sick. I have what is called “blood necrosis” and my doctor gave me a slap in the face: “Why are you eating fried potatoes, which you thought was stupid?” Then he put this orange ball in front of me and said, “Eat this fucking orange here.” And I did. I love healthy orange food.

#7 Cadbury Egg

Many Cadbury chocolate lovers are confused when buying eggs in the US and note that the taste differs significantly from their familiar “real” British Cadbury eggs. These people do not represent anything. Chocolate giant Hershey owns the rights to manufacture and sell Cadbury eggs in the United States, but uses a different recipe than the entire pond. The main deviation is the first ingredient: the British version of milk, the American version of sugar. English chocolate is high in fat and contains no paprika. Hershey’s is actively defending the lawn by banning the sale of British-made Cadbury chocolate in the United States and suing a small store that is trying to stop selling imported goods. Hershey is not a regulatory body, but reserves the right to take action with respect to licensing agreements. So unfortunately UK hobbyists have the right to stop selling British goods in the US.

I saw on TV these chocolate eggs laid by rabbits. In case you didn’t know, rabbits are mammals. So, for some reason, this insane company used genetic engineering to create lizard rabbits. And people all over the world eat these eggs. But they are also chocolate, with creamy rabbit embryos inside. This is madness. People eat it. It came out of the rabbit’s vagina.

#6 Cupcakes

Have you ever eaten a more fun snack than frosting and sprinkling cakes, especially birthday cakes? Probably not, but that didn’t stop the 2016 ban on children in Tennessee. Notes were sent to parents, most of whom were forbidden to make cakes for birthdays and occasions. and other special events. In fact, director Big Boy Brandon played the food cop for everything the kids brought home, claiming that the food met strict requirements for calories, sodium, sugar, and fat. In addition to health issues, Big Boy Brandon cited cases of students who ate candy and suffered from death from the first year of school, as well as injuries due to the paper that cupcakes have. After the rules came into force, the school culture changed a little. For example, on Valentine’s Day, students are encouraged to replace small items such as culinary utensils with traditional candy.

#5 Milkshakes

Most of the snacks on this list are of American origin, but in many ways they are slightly different. Police have ordered several McDonald’s stores in Edinburgh, Scotland, to close for a day. This is due to their location, and the fast food restaurant is located near the dairy area, where Brexit promoter Nigel Farage is involved. He loves ice cream and milk. Demonstrators attacked protesters by giving them melted ice cream. The process continues after the British politician Tommy (who faced the incident a few days later) lobbied McDonald’s Milksack in 2019 with McDonald’s Milksack. England has become a sea of condensed milk squeezed from women’s breasts and creams. A more deliberate milkshake missile threaten law enforcement, with Farage placing the following sign on the door of a restaurant next to the event: “We won’t shake and sell ice cream tonight. . This was done at the request of the police due to recent events.”

My girlfriend once said that she had a milkshake that every guy in the square yard would come for. I saw dozens of men standing on the grass talking to my girlfriend about milkshakes she had. But she never got milk. She never bought ice cream. I wondered how she maked a milkshake that brought all the boys to the yard. Then I realized he was talking about her body. She doesn’t really make milkshakes. He had sex with several strangers in the yard. Stray cats were watching. I don’t know why he called it Milkshake. Oh wait, because milk comes out of the boobie. I’m such a stupid person.

#4 Chocolate Milk

By the end of 2019, all schools in the world prohibited naive snacks and chocolate milk in cafeterias. I don’t blame them. In doing so, they joined the march of millions of bullshit Karens, which banned the feeding of garbage. In this case, the ban is part of a broader initiative by fake chemists to reduce sugar and corn syrup from many fruit activists. Arizona Chocolate Milk Kibosh (my most hated company ever) said, “All the boys were brought to the yard, but there were no complaints from parents or students.” Let’s take a look at some of New York State’s sweetest milk solutions. Karens expressed concern that the ban could hurt dairy farmers. But nobody now runs a cow and farm in New York.

I don’t like chocolate milk because it feels creamy. Usually people who work with me tell me that chocolate milk is made on the shower floor. They did it. Many of my friends don’t know how the toilet lid works, so they close the lid when they go to the bathroom. You can use a good handful of paper towels to remove wet poops. But sometimes people get tired of drinking all this dangerous milk. They are pouring chocolate milk in my bathroom. I can’t drink. It came out of a stranger’s ass.

#2 Soda

In fact, this ban on snacks honored another person: soda. From the late 1800s to the early 1900s, many states passed the law in blue. The law is religious in nature and prohibits everything that is a “sin.” Alcohol sales were high on Sunday, but others banned smoking on weekends instead. The reason is not entirely clear, but it may be related to the youth gathering at the beverage shop. These fast food stalls serve floating beer and soda ice cream. They are made of a soda base and a cream that floats on top. Suddenly, the shop owners had to go through a new legal action when they went for a walk outside on Sunday, so they replaced soda with syrup and gave birth to ice cream babies on Sunday. Interestingly, the word “Sunday” was changed from “Suntasticerday.” Maybe it will be useful at that time as popular as soda and sold daily.

I drank so much that it destroyed all my teeth. This is the worst idea for a carbonated sweet drink. Alcohol is harmful, but it can damage the liver very slowly over a long period of time. Soda destroys your teeth almost instantly. Then you need to get a new tooth, but soda will destroy the tooth. Soda is the most dangerous substance in the world. Worse than the acidic blood in the Alien movies.

#2 Pizza

Pizza is an appetizer that you can eat depending on whether you are eating slices or pies. In the end, it became a problem for the residents of Pompei, a small Italian town. In 79 AD, this small town was choking on the constant hot smoke that is more common in cities built next to volcanoes. The unexpected culprit was the wood-burning oven in which the pizza was cooked. It was going to make the volcano explode. City companies were banned from using ovens unless they were equipped with special filters. The Pompei pizza makers were naturally angry, claiming that their pie was not caused by air pollution. The ignored these restrictions and then Mt. Vesuvius exploded. They were all dead after that.

The worst thing about pizza is that it comes in a huge box that doesn’t fit in the trash. It is usually best to burn the box as it is very difficult to throw away. However, be careful when burning pizza boxes. This is because if your pet cat gets too close, it can catch fire. The same thing happened to me once. The cat howled badly, the smell was unpleasant. My neighbor shouted excitedly, “Are you burning a cat there?” I said, “Yes, but not on purpose.” We gave the cat a drink and everything went well after that.

#1 Popcorn

It’s crazy to watch a movie in a large place without people sitting next to you and eating popcorn. Now there is this thing called social distancing. You can’t share a stranger’s popcorn. When the movie theaters first opened long ago in the old days, they required audiences to learn words, and they would show silent movies to people that already knew about things like hygiene. The cinema itself has reflected this, they didn’t need to hand out masks and things like that–they just had a bad flue pandemic that killed so many people, so people knew better than to share popcorn or get close, they knew to stay home if they were sick. But time changed and people forgot, so the culture of movie viewing changed and the theater itself changed. The owner realized that selling popcorn in the lobby can be very lucrative. So avocado snacks will forever be associated with your favorite movies.

Popcorn is rich in oil, which breaks down many membranes. Not oil-proof at all. It leaves the stomach, lives in the blood vessels and arteries, and kills. Also can it is impossible to clean. Once when I went to the theater, the kids were drinking popcorn butter right from the pump. They put it in their mouths and swallow the butter. All have COVID now butter. Popcorn is believed to have originated from what is known as the “essence of the bat.” This is not surprising at all.

The Top 10 Worst Video Games Ever

There are many good video games. There are other little video games. There are many other horrible video games out there, but good games have their downsides. Of course, today I will talk about all kinds of bad things. Remember that the only suggestions you can find on this list are video games. If you are looking for movies or television shows or baby names, there are other lists. Here are the 10 worst video games I have ever played.

#10 Crazy Bus

Where do you start this game? This game is not considered a game. Slowly you will lower yourself to the left and right, and then fall on the whistle. There is a sculpture of a bus that passes through the observatory. Only the Sprite Bus seems to have been created with MS Paint and it still runs better. This game doesn’t seem to end. It seems to have occurred in at least 10 minutes. There is only one song like this; it’s unstructured, so I’m not sure if it’s a song. To be honest, if you hurt a song, it should be more about sound than a stupid bass. There is no excuse for this game. Break Down is a game designed to explain how parents react to violent play. The Big Rig isn’t anywhere in this final state, but it’s very interesting. This game is not even a game you can control. There is nothing to laugh at. There are many bad games, but there are still games that you can play. This game is made for testing. HIT THE FUTURE !!! They deleted it for no reason. I don’t know why!

#9 Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon

Awesome game where you will observe the best cutscenes in the world! You shouldn’t want to brag, but your loved one is Zelda!!! Also, go ahead and defeat Gannon by putting him in the book; that’s the best way to end Zelda’s story! Also, they released two versions of this game! So you have to get rid of everything with just a few clicks. Also using state control technology will sometimes make you spazz of control! Yes! So buy your book on CDI put in today! And make sure you play Zeldas, Mario Hotel, and Face the Evil for more suffering. Yes, I don’t understand how anyone can stop this mess!

When you give other game developers the permission of your video game, this is what you get. I have been seeing this kind of game, these “Zeldas.” It was more than scary. This is not Zelda’s method. This movie is stupid, the chat is awful, the stop button is the lock button. I’m glad it wasn’t Nintendo who invented this monstrosity but it was foolish for them to license someone else.

#8 Fortnite

I don’t know why this game is so popular. Many people talk about it both in hiding and in public. Really good video games (Halo, Grand Theft Auto, Sonic the Hedgehog, etc.) save the story and make it even better. That’s not what Fortnite does. Little kids are ridiculously fooled, so what every child does is talk about this game. I also hate to think how easy it is. The same thing happened when I went to shops with guns repeatedly. Don’t let that life of crime get started for your children. Even kids playing with toys can do more than most guns in this spooky game. Children are only interested in simple things like Teen Titans Go, not video games. The game you can’t miss is the worst game everyone has ever played.

I looked at this game and saw that it was squat and irritating, much like a little child. All the silly interfaces and music bother me. It’s full of micro contributions to crap and useless guns. (Bad business! Very bad!) Moreover, the protagonist is far worse than any scene in any anime. Children still worship this, but they are ungrateful, like children of many ages.

#7 Sonic the Hedgehog

Stories, level patterns, characters, it’s like this is pretending to be a video game. The only good thing about this “game” is the music. You don’t even have to buy the game to hear it, just buy the sound. Everyone tries to save this game because the Sonic Team has no time to end the game, but that doesn’t matter! They can be punctual if they do not slow their growth. There is not even 9 characters. The game must include Sonic, Shadows, and Silver. A good Sonic player will bring Sonic back to life at the end.

The worst game of Sega Genesis! The graphics on the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 are way better. Moreover, the graphics are even worse than the PlayStation 2’s worst games. It is a partially defective product. The plot has time, there is nothing to kill anywhere, there are beautiful female assassins. There is the dull Thanksgiving mini-game that you don’t have to play. But this part ruined everything in this game, and it was after Mestophiles destroyed Sonic and Princess Elise (as you can see). The only good thing about it is music. This song is better than any I have seen.

#6 Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties

Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties is a movie with a five or five minute moment in the ending to influence a character choice. I don’t know if you have to say if it’s a movie or not because everything after the cut scene is pictures. But the build-a-bear scene is FMV (Full Video Motion). Free filters are installed for no apparent reason, and the characters don’t have their own style. The humor is baseless. What’s worse is that Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties launched for the Panasonic 3DO, which was a $8700 (at the time… adjusted for inflation, it would be $15,599.85) system with only this one game. Unless you have a specific destination, you just move the car.

Ugh, this is not a game. The closest thing to a music game is “Deciding what to do next.” The development team for this probably drank a lot of alcohol at a Bar Mitzvah after-party and found that the next morning they had a game to play. They find the rabbi’s money that they forgot and take off to send it to their boss.

#5 Custer’s Revenge

This is Atari’s most stupid game. Basically, the purpose of this game is to control General Custer, the owner of the game, and save what you need and not starve in the desert. You may be arrested. I’m not sure, but it’s difficult to read. Only then can you hang a Native American woman on a pole. How terrible are the young people? If you think soccer isn’t too bad, check out the instructions that came with this game. Atari! I know it’s an adult game. But why are you just giving up and deciding to longer be creative? This is the most dangerous Atari game ever. Trust me when I warn you, don’t play this game. I hope you didn’t play this game.

This game is terrible. It would be better for me if you don’t discuss it. But instead of playing this horrible game, I had to pee and vomit. If I’m generous, I call the game a piece of grass. I think it’s an extension because it doesn’t make sense to call it a game. I have played a bad game in my life. But this is the worst Farscape video game adaptation of them all.

#4 The Deserted Bus

The purpose of the game is to get it from Tucson, Arizona, yo Las Vegas, Nevada. It takes only 8 hours. But when you return, you will receive the keys to a quaint Arizona motel. It’s even worse if you’re out of control and there’s gravel on the side of the road. You end up waiting for the garbage truck to pick you up because you are a garbage player. There will be no stopping, no cars coming to you, no passengers behind and you can go as little as 45 mph. Now that’s what I call the worst game of all time!

However, the popularity of The Deserted Bus is on the rise. There’s no pause button, so you won’t have to mark up or go to another house to eat. Unlike driving a real bus, you can’t hold down a button and leave it there because the bus is going to crash! So the truck will arrive and drag you into EXCLUSION! The situation is terrible. Why can’t the truck get you out of the sand? Why can’t you save the passengers on the bus? The key will be available every time you make any request.

#3 Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing

The funnest thing about Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing, unlike the other games on this list, is that it is something where you can’t play with Big Rigs. It’s almost impossible to lose. The opponent is initially frozen and wins by default. But the game isn’t over yet. Your truck is a soul that can overcome anything, you can climb 90 degrees without speed and you can push the limits without effort. I don’t wanna play. The truck is not interesting, there is no stats for the car you drive, no sound other than your engine.

In my opinion, this is one of the worst scenarios for a racing wagon. Not only that, but the game also presents attractive driving methods. It also shows all the fun you can do with Methamphetamine Fever. Do you really like yourself? Nothing is more offensive than driving calmly! HIT THE FUTURE!

#2 E.T. The Extraterrestrial

I know this game is bad, there fore I exist. The only thing to do in this game is a bad thing because there is no advice. Oh, the game has villains. Buddy, look at the journey, you don’t know what to do, and your character is a box. Yes, the journey goes well. Was it good? Not a lot of consoles at the time could play on any 1983 video game console. That was not Atari’s fault. But the amount of money spent on game time was wasted because people would eat other ROMs and cartridges. People blame the 1983 accident because you have nothing to blame or you didn’t know any facts first.

Getting the plague was one of the worst experiences in my life. This game is a close second. It has everything I hate when it comes to sports games. From the first moment the whole game was boring, disappointing, frustrating, heartbroken, absurd, long, bloody, and full of tears. There was stupidity and other vices you can think of. I didn’t have the opportunity to think of anything that could make me play this game from start to finish.

#1 Superman 64

Superman 64 is a DC sports counterpart. Yes, that’s worse than Aquaman. The first condition is that you have to shoot the ring that needs to fly. However, it is very difficult because it is not well controlled. As you go through the rounds, you will see suspicious hints for your second break. You have to be a good reader to understand what it is. Now that you know what to do with both cars based on your ID, what do you think? Answer another voice. Only the first level has a total of 5 miles of maps! Suddenly you need to fall on the ground or a wall. In addition, I always play with the flying ring during the game. It is in the form of an old, unrepentant, flying game system. This boring color blind game is fun and perfect. It’s true that I’ve never had anything but struggle to make it to round four. Many take the first steps to get rid of this, but some do it the worst.

Bad graphics, poor controls, infinite and uneducated displays, humorous concepts, soccer games that have endless signs and flashes, and 95% of the time is a struggle. Fly this ring for a short time. In particular, you can never predict what to do when you fly with your wings. What are the bombs and explosions that can destroy Superman? I think he’s the only one who bothers him.

The Top 10 Worst Netflix Original Movies

Netflix. Why would we spend a lot of time carrying the Tiger King or something wonderful? But not everything on the platform is fun. Of course you are a big fan of water and obstacles. But not all of their things are roses. There are other ways to play games will add to their games, but sometimes our favorite Netflix you forget the mark. Some from Netflix from their original point of view are bad. Of course, the entertainment is below human standards, so you can watch them regularly and encourage yourself. However, fans and critics agree that many Netflix original movies are literal garbage, but who knows? You may discover the horrors of these movies.

#10 The Cloverfield Paradox

Netflix Synopsis: “In the world of war, scientists are testing equipment to solve energy problems and cover the face of the dark.”

Cloverfield Paradox is the bad and the worst science fiction history it tries to affect the viewer and it’s scary. People will never view your movie well when they are angry. These characters are described as race stereotypes. The sequel was unsupported by a spin-off of Alien in 2001, and Gravity didn’t bring any new movies.This is one of those movies where you spend all of your time wishing to die. Is it a music video template with characters that need real development? The big “revelations” at the end will not impress you

Jane Austen called the film “A sci-fi warship that distorted the propaganda that spread its supposed death nearly a decade ago.” Zombie Roger Ebert burst from his crypt and announced in his loud voice, “The Super Bowl market for Paradox provided the idea of the film to reveal where it started. The early monster appeared in the 2008 film and later became the winner of the 2016 election – but he didn’t finish it. But he still retains his name as a movie photographer.”

#9 Mute

Netflix Synopsis: “After his boyfriend quit, a deaf man walked into a circle of tribulation near Berlin, where his actions were louder than words.”

Mute is actually an ancient form of European torture that disguised itself as a two-hour movie. Still, Netflix was interested. He’s one of the few directors who didn’t really care about trying to make a real movie. He was wearing dangerous clothing covered with spikes and using dark magic so the movie would curse the audience. His perversions were terrifying. Sometimes it will suddenly give your dachshund a seizure. Evil people do not let their souls watch movies. But you can have someone to insert their finger into.

#8 Flame Brain

Netflix Synopsis: “A deeply debilitating mental illness, the young storyteller tries to find out as she battles cataracts and amnesia.”

It’s only when you think the weekend is over that you will be assaulted by Flame Brain. This movie is propaganda from anti-encephalitis advocates. Encephalitis is a rare, self-altering disease. Nobody would ever support it so why are the groups to adovocate against it? They are also anti-death, but that is not important at all.

In the film, A hungry young storyteller is played by Chloë Grace Moretz. She uses her chewing tooth to hammer at a bed sheet and shape it into a bird. This terrifying horror film talks about the need of the doctor to go the long mile when the diagnostic textbooks will not come. It’s the work only the worst doctors have pursued. At the end of the movie you will want to be dead like Moretz.

#7 How it Ends

Netflix Synopsis: “When a deep tragedy turns the country into a war zone, a young lawyer travels west with his future brother-in-law to find a woman to marry him.”

The casino game for How it Ends could be an even better idea. A man in this film is the future man and woman journey from Chicago to Seattle when the world ends. She made her debut to go to Windy City to meet a man named Tom. She was the woman whose father would love Samantha. Sam was pregnant, and he wanted to ask Tom to help him get married. There will be absolutely nothing with Tom’s modifications across the country as long as he is driving her car. Tom is a former Marine who was dishonorably discharged for his odor. He yelled at Will to swear in front of his wife. Wouldn’t it be horrible if they were both forced into an accident?

Jane Austen commented on the film: “What’s even more special is the fact that it’s just a disaster or a post-sequel that wears me out.” The bartender at my girlfriend’s strip club said: “This is a fantasy movie that will make it worse without giving answers to its mysteries. It’s last call, so you better close out your tab.”

#6 The Open House

Netflix Synopsis: “In the wake of the tragedy, her teenage mother and son have moved into a relative’s lounge where confederate soldiers and unscrupulous ghosts plot against them.”

It’s complete waste of a piece of paper. The film is the much-anticipated film adaptation of the Bon Jovi song “Living on a Prayer.” There is nothing good about a mother and son in an intimate situation when you finally see it on screen. Nobody believed that the couple in “Living on a Prayer” were actually an incestuous mother and son, but Jon Bon Jovi said it really was. I don’t know, it doesn’t make sense at all. The actor Dylan Minnette had a career as a boy cookie cutter before that. His behavior is just terrible now.

The plot of the film also reveals some of the worst atrocities ever committed, especially in comparison to the terrifying conditions in which things can happen. The music is by Bon Jovi, of course, so it totally sucks. The scene in the movie where Dylan Minnette shouts at ghosts: “We’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got! It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not!” and then embraces his mother in a passionate kiss is just terrible.

#5 The Kissing Booth

Netflix Synopsis: “When Elle’s first kiss led to one of the most famous romance scenes in high school, she put her relationship with the Grim Reaper at risk.”

Many people were able to prove that it wasn’t a good movie. Of course, this story is sometimes complete garbage and sometimes just a gross vomit pile. Here a man is portrayed in the film trying to keep Shelly’s feelings from getting in the way of her brother. Meanwhile her brother Noah threatens to beat up anyone trying to follow Shae on Instagram. It’s a true movie about two men trying to control a woman at gun point. Shelly’s classmate raped her by grabbing her butt. Noah then slaughtered his classmates in a savage shooting and then Shelly agreed to go with his classmates that day. But he apologized for wearing the same mini dress Shelly wore when a classmate held her behind.

Jane Austen declared the film to be hate speech and gave it five middle fingers out of five, adding “Sadly, the high school rom-com scene was a relationship-focused sex scene. Showcasing the worst impact.” Zombie Roger Ebert, who has had problems with bed bugs of all time, criticized the film: “Problems of discrimination and relationships, and the lack of traditional ideas. Head down, the movie is again well considered such a well known song.”

#4 Game Over, Man

Netflix Synopsis: “Three friends have a big dream of turning from a non-protester to a terrible hero when terrorists take over their luxury hotel.”

The only obvious explanation for the existence of “Game Over, Man!” is that this is a sick brainwashing experiment. Comedy Central’s “Polish Workers” was a big hit in Krakow and Netflix started thinking what the Polish version of Die Hard might look like. It was written by Judd Apatow while he was taking way too much mescaline. It was directed by McG, which isn’t even a real name. They used whatever money hey had left after buying hallucinogens. The movie has a funny way of narrating 3 white Americans (suffering from some of the biggest mysteries) climbing aboard the “Warsaw Express” and a doing battle with a terrorist attacking a humble old Polish grandma. Where did they work? How come we are getting so many famous governments cutting Daniel Stern’s dick? Amazing things happen, especially on Netflix.

In a negative review, Jane Austen said, “Almost as a joke.” In a similar analysis, Genghis Khan said, “Game over, man! is a slightly original-concept movie, has a lot of tropical and a lack of love for the character of Bill Paxton, the alien who made his great songs.” I went to visit my girlfriend’s former meth dealer in prison and asked him about the movie. He said,“ Game over, man! Keanu has emerged as a key player in comedies today, a fun and functional system that works well in small quantities. I know it’s a Netflix joint, because it’s half thought. Between the background; one piece of muzak is too much.” In a glowingly positive review, Adolf Hitler’s dog said, “Men sometimes go around for no reason. It’s the most dangerous since Borat.”

#3 Father of the Year

Netflix Synopsis: “The recent intense debate between two college students over who will win the fight leads to a tumultuous situation when their father takes on a serious challenge.”

Welcome to the ugly moment. This bad movie is showing Spade’s lazy, idiotic speech here. It is a movie that can only be described as uneducated. Papas wandering around drunk, lurking among the town junkies in a little dream and then it’s over. He’s dead. Stop it. If you watch this one, you will be craving a left-handed date, while Sandler plays the son of Satan. It doesn’t seem as realistic as it could have been, so it’s not hard to imagine why everyone involved was getting so little momentum when the barriers were down. The show is all about simplicity, knowing it by heart, soul, or stupidity wherever it is found.

This is pointless and terrifying, adding another blow to Spade’s characters and calling out another type of character who has never seen Tyler Spindel again. Father of the Year is a three-year debut with no show. Who can compare this to a comedy. But don’t think the second thing is that this movie is good. There is no better way than spending your time getting completely drunk.

#2 The Ridiculous Six

Netflix Synopsis: “After her father was kidnapped and ransacked, Tommy ‘Knife Whitey’ Stockburn was traveling across the west with rescuers and five siblings he didn’t know he had.”

In Old West, a gentleman named Tommy was raised by an African American named “Knife Whitey.” after his mother was murdered, Tommy married a racist named cigarette carton. After the violent split, American racial activist Kelm and the fans of TLC’s Left-Eye are led by Will Patch. Tommy was robbed. There is also a story about a banker named Frank who claims to be Tommy’s father Tommy. He explains to Frank that the man holding the hand killed his mother while she was taking him to school. Frank also told Tommy he was dying for just one bump of meth and paid $50,000 for. He overdosed and was buried in the grass near the pine tree and offered to Tommy and the natives.

Jane Austen gave this film a score of 0%, meaning there is nothing positive to say about the film. Her review reads, “What’s as horrible as the actor and his thoughts suggest The Ridiculous Six is an unconventional post for Adam Sandler fans that they shouldn’t be watching their audience.” When the whole world was polled for their opinions on this film, it received a score of 1 out of 100, showing “no unnecessary interest.”

#1 Cuties

Netflix Synopsis: “In a bold move, Netflix offers up the first movie to cater specifically to an audience of pedophiles. There is a story, but mostly this is just the hyper-sexualization of preteen girls for the amusement of perverted people.”

Never seen it but I will mention this: The movie just indecent indecent pedophilia. How did this happen? Twerking is a sexual type of dance! At the age of 11 ??! However, does this mean a female stunt ?! This makes me sick. Any kind of conversation about feminism is undermined by the fact that they have 11 year girls doing sexual things. I hope the authorities will find that they have broken several laws and punish all those involved in this movie. There are so many red flags here and somehow all were missed. This is the most disgusting.

What is this? We can take a moment to understand why the fuck Netflix endorses this abomination. But also the way producers and writers sit down and think about it. Having said that, this is a terribly incorrect thing. Is pedophilia what Netflix stands for now?

What does Netflix have to say about?

The Top 10 Most Embarrassing Things That Happened to Me in School

Many things happen when you go to school. I went to school for 10 and half years. There were good things and bad things. These are some of the worst things. Sorry if it is depressing.

#10 Someone pulled down my underwear

When I was in the 4th grade I was sent to a military school in Bulgaria. I didn’t know any of the language. There was a girl that was angry at me because I didn’t know anything. It happened at night. Her and others tied me up to a tree so that I couldn’t move. They removed most of my clothes. Her friend suggested that they put my clothes into the river. They did so and left me there all night perched in a tree. I was given detention for that.

But it wasn’t just that once. When the same enemy called me to a game of chess She said in English: “You will not be naked.” I said not to be naked, but she lied. Other students ripped my pants and took them away. Very shameful !

#9 Somebody knocked me out

Once in the fifth grade, I cheated during a class one time because we were so drunk I couldn’t figure it out. I want to look like a smart. It’s not a big deal. But then some other fool saw me cheating and told my tricks to the whole class of snakes. Then, as we were taking shots before the next lesson, the fool decided to preach before the class. I do see that he is cheating! So it’s terrible, He also told everyone the tricks and tests that I didn’t just do. I told the teacher and she told me that cheating was not a big problem. It was then the teacher covered my head with a vodka. He slapped me in front of the school. I was knocked unconscious.

#8 I puked in the classroom

Once in 2nd grade I fell ill at school. I was not good at doing things that we should not do. I then vomited everywhere, all over the classroom, all over the other students. My vomit is always green and oily. The teacher asked me if I was fine and I said I was. Then I felt the nausea again when I saw another student licking up my vomit. During lunch I couldn’t eat and bowed my head. I ate two green fruits and had a very bad reaction. I told the teacher I was going to vomit again. “Stop talking on the grass,” she said. I fell to the ground. Then I accidentally threw up all the garbage that was in my body and felt very weak.

This happened to me many times. But another time that I will really remember was when I was in third grade. Regarding health, I am very capable of driving and my fingertips are not the best, so my teacher hated me that one day. But when the teacher randomly screamed at us to hide in the trenches and watch out for snipers, I began to run away from him, saying it was safe, that we weren’t in World War I. He hadn’t spoken to me or said anything to me again. Then I vomited.

#7 Shouted the wrong answer in front of the class

This happened to me a few times in high school until I left, mostly in science. I kept asking the same question until 4pm, everyone laughed. At my school people who think they are smart. But when this kid has a few questions, I don’t laugh and I don’t laugh at others. When I make mistakes, it depends on whether I know the answer or not. Sometimes I am ashamed of this and upset and angry because the other kids are laughing at me. Sometimes you are just a kid and kids don’t have feelings, you know

One time when we were learning, my teacher was making fun of me and he asked me, “Will you eat half a pizza or twenty-three entire pizzas” or something like that. However, the teacher asked the other students another question.

#6 I called the teacher Mommy

One time a teacher showed a picture of a glacier and asked the class if they knew what it was. I thought I knew what it was when everyone else didn’t. I raised my hand and the teacher called on me. I replied, “I love you Mommy!” Everyone laughed at me. Then the teacher asked, “Does anybody know who that pathetic fool is?” Everyone raised their hand except me.

That happened all the time in elementary school. I would go to school but I felt a lack of love. This is okay because kids don’t have to feel it. However, when I put the bag in a cubby, I had a feeling that it was coming and started shouting “I love you Mommy!” Then everyone was looking at me! My teacher spanked me for this, called home, and my real mother took me away. What a shame!

#5 My pants zipper was open

I was playing music in elementary school and a boatman walked up to me during the show and said “your man has come down.” I should have taken it off when I sang in front of everyone, I was proud. Another time I was had it down and everyone saw my underwear and the children all said, “Ah, you are wearing pink panties”! I was in third grade and stopped wearing pink panties. One day I left the zipper open and it opened more than that. That was embarrassing. So I went back to pink panties.

#4 Being made fun of because of your crush on someone

Hey everyone, I’m sure this is where these kids grow up. If you think you’re telling me how interesting this business is where the character is already bullying this kid. He said that destruction looked at him as he was watching, and it disappeared for no reason. Because one girl I was interested in was getting into the air because it was my idea. But again, it will be just a smoke advertisement.

It’s a good thing I haven’t told anyone. But my friend who smokes said to me “Hey, the girl over there is pregnant with your child” as I played basketball. I hope they don’t know, but I can prevent her from telling anyone. Ugh … and the fool told a whole class of friends that I had killed her. I’m not excited to talk about that.

#3 I peed my pants a lot

It happened to me on my first day of high school because I didn’t go to the bathroom before class. After sitting down, the first teacher told everyone that leave the classroom for anything was not optional. We were all told that urine must be withheld. It was a problem for me to get out before it was too late. I was weak and no one saw, so I decided to do something very wrong. I believee wearing pants covered in urine was such a horrible thing that I would be shot dead by the teacher if I was discovered. Nobody said anything about that day, I thought I left it until the next day.

One time, I peed between classes in the sixth grade. It’s a shame that it was evident and everyone was looking at me and laughing at me! There was a girl in my class that laughed at me the hardest. Nobody loved her because she was constantly distracted when she was in fourth grade and we found out why … she wore diapers because they were very fashionable. Not good.

#2 Cried in front of the whole classroom

One time in elementary school, a science teacher made me cry. Because I do not understand what I let I remember. But I remember I went into the classroom, my boss screamed at my teacher, and I sat in the hall … No one came to help me. Another time in elementary school I had this wonderful PE teacher. But suddenly he snapped and was angry with me. It made me cry so much. Later I said I was sick and sat in the hospital. In high school I had this horrible Spanish teacher who I asked if I could do well in the next test. He went crazy and said I was the stupidest student he’d ever seen in his 40 years of teaching. I ran out of class crying and did not return. This has happened several times. But these are the worst.

I deal with this all the time. It’s a pity I always cry a second time when I’m sad. A lot of people in my classes may have secretly hated me forever. When I finish my class, instead of asking for help, I started crying. I feel like a big, fat body. What do I do in class?

#1 I farted

So this happened and I was embarrassed even though I was in a movie class. But we had a good time. We were doing well and we were facing each other. We did the same exercise where one team member pulls the rope with the other. My friend was big but I was sure I could beat him because he was imaginary. So I farted as hard as I could and my entire body shook from the force. But all this made my face blush and gave me energy. I was making fun of the teacher and I was embarrassed.

Once upon a time I was in a silent school and then …FART! I had a plan, I had to grind the seat when I did because the chair made a lot of noise and then farted. I have tried it and you can hear a little fart. Everyone looked at me, so I tried to make farts again to turn off the glass. But this time it didn’t make any sound … Now people think I’m a villain. No! But now I am a lost anonymous person and it always humiliates me to fart.

The Top 10 Worst Pokemon

There are 7021 Pokémon right now, but about 5 of them are different versions of the same Rattata, depending on the number of actual rats you have seen in your life. Obviously there are many different Pokémon that are all bullshit. After all, some of the ugliest and laziest Pokémon in the series are the ones we remember for no reason whatsoever. This can be invigorating.

#10 Magikarp

In Pokemon games, the Magikarp is almost as useful as a fart and is almost just as pungent. The only thing about this fish is that at level 20, he instantly transforms into a monster that can flatten an entire city. But before that happens, you’re constantly forced to scream, shake hands, and receive an award with a floppy fish.

Eventually, Magikarp evolved from a fish with good upward mobility into a half-ton snake that could burn anything. It also fires lasers from its mouth. It is based on an ancient Chinese legend about fish that come into contact with nuclear waste. In particular, there is a legend that a nuclear missle, only called the “Gate of the Dragon,” can can cause even the tamest and stupidest fish to mutate into a deadly monster. This is why the world will suffer if the Magickarp continues training long enough. Usually it is based on the legend that mortal efforts fail and resilience achieves nothing. And it just so happens that Magikarp wants to die. This is why people call Magikarp the destroyer of the world.

#9 Mareep

Marpep seems a bit tame as it is a Pokemon-filled game. This little pathetic sheep allows you to set your eyes on fire and turn the mountains with your head. Sure, it’s cute when it is paralyzed, but why would you want to do that to your own Pokemon? This is an electric sheep. Just think! How deep is this possibility?

That’s pretty gorgeous. As you can see, “Mareep” is based on the famous science fiction writer Philip K. Dick. The author was really an android who dreamed of an electric sheep. In addition, the name Mareep is anagram of “Karaoke,” the Japanese word for ice cream. As if there were not enough things you could learn about sheep, Mareep is also pink, which is very cute.

#8 Travis

The Pokemon known as Travis is often referred to as the moment where the Pokemon show up to stop thinking. It’s basically a giant trash bag with ridiculous eyes. This junk Pokemon is really trash. So stupid.

Due to his body that looks like a bulky garbage bag, many people don’t know that Travis has a rabbit ears that are coming out of his head. This is because Travis is based on the term “dirty rabbit.” This is the part of your dirty hair that lives under the mythological sofa that you cannot comprehend. Above all, Travis must also stand next to Pokemon that all look better than him. While Muk and Wheezing represent goo and testicles, Travis must represent a type of pollution that has never been mentioned before. It is a type of dirt nobody has ever conceived of before. Being just trash helps Travis to understand a bit of why they decided to make these Pokemon. They make Muk look like a bunch of purple goo and Wheezing like poisonous testicles. Travis seems to have put in more effort than his spiritual brother.

#7 Girafarig

Girafarig looks like a cross between a giraffe and at least three different types of lizards. But it is a type of lizard-giraffe that also has a different living thing inside of its ass. It’s such a strange set of designs that nobody will ever really know what was originally conceived. The person who made this Pokemon was taken behind the studio and shot dead for conceiving of this sin. But I don’t know why they included it in the game still. The only thing that we can clearly distinguish is that whoever came up with this design deserved that bullet to the brain for thinking it looked like a giraffe.

Again, giraffes aren’t really dependent on us in order to exist. So you might be in a hurry to think they are pointless creatures. Girafarig is based on the ancestor of the now extinct giraffe, called Asstasis. These were creatures like giraffes who have always worn parachute striped pants because nothing else will fit them. At the same time, the tail and talking asshole of the Girafarig were inspired by the currently indisputable theory that a Stegosaurus hides half of his brain somewhere inside the anus. Honestly, that sounds pretty badass when you think about it. Pokemon games really inspire us all to consider that our brain would be better inside of our rectum?

#6 Jynx

Take a quick glimpse of Jynx’s original design before it suddenly changed in a whirlwind of criticism and a copyright lawsuit from the company that created Aunt Jemima. This is all you need to observe in order to know why Jynx is so bad. The baddness of Jynx is something I think should be communicated. In short, people were somewhat upset about the styling of Jynx’s. Because she seems a bit obscene and a black face mix is significantly offensive.

I do not advocate the black face, because I do not understand it. There is no evidence that Aunt Jemima was the inspiration for Jynx’s design. It is an unmistakable fact that whites cannot see the original object without seeing their soul. The truth is, no one noticed Jynx’s shoulders. Four different theories have been proposed for what influenced Jynx’s design but they are all just race-baiting nonsense. The only truth is that Jynx is based on the Norse legend of a princess who died in the snow because nobody cared about her. It is the same story behind the Disney movie Frozen. This legend caused a brief epidemic in Japan when all of the women wore a black face. These girls covered their faces with shoe polish and dyed their hair blond in protest against many different unfair things, no one was really sure which ones though. Perhaps there is no satisfactory answer to the origin of Jynx, so it is assumed that the tale of the Nordic princess that nobody loved will remain the only truth. The people who invented the first 151 Pokemon could also have been lazy racists.

#5 Nosepass

The Nosepass seemed to form after someone had pierced the granite with a big nose. It looks like a twisted nose and we tried to pierce it with a car. It looks very angular and silly. If you laugh enough, you can be mistaken for potatoes that really play with potatoes.

According to Nosepass’s official reputation, the nose of this dumb beast looks similar to a compass. I don’t know what dumb compass they were talking about. Maybe its a weird Eskimo compass that is found only in the north. Maybe someone had recently gone in that general direction. Unlike someone pulling their buttocks, this feature is based on a highly respected animal called a pigeon. The pigeon’s brain is located between the skull and nasal cavity and is believed to be involved in the bird’s ability to detect magnetic fields. Humans also have pigeon bones, but we can’t feel the magnetic fields unless we decide to damage credit cards. We won’t do that. As a result, the Nosepass nose is too large for you to feel the magnetic field or rub the iron against your face at normal speed.

#4 Klefki

Klefki is a set of keys. It is widely known as the Pokemon that looks like it’s been put in 2 inches. Don’t talk about this just because you care about what your keyboard is. It’s also like a fairy tale, based on how great the keyboard is.

Pagan tradition says that you should blame feces for all of your problems. To be more precise and honest, Klefki was entirely based on the old myth that a gigantic fire ant was entertaining ancient pagans by stealing keys and other trivial objects. As a result, the Norse mavericks sometimes accused the devil of losing keys and this caused instability in the early Scandinavian tribes. And that explains why Pokemon’s greatest villain Klefki is considered a giant Key. He is stealing from stupid people, perhaps trying to lock a wooden door. Behind that door is a 20-foot long snake with a diamond penis. This is a crazy world.

#3 Sudowoodo

In the game, Sudowoodo is a Pokemon. He poses as a tree and blocks access to the game until the 10-year-old hero clarifies this. If the sentence isn’t offensive at all, it’s worth noting that Sudowoodo appears to be a painted caricature of a child’s distorted face onto fuzzy genitals.

Currently, the game and anime cannot explain why this Pokemon is. Nobody remembers creating it. Sudowoodo just exists. Perhaps it is the ghost of a dead child. That would make sense because it is clearly stated that they are hydrophobic, which is one of the things ghost babies need to survive. However, Sudowoodo is believed to be a rock type Pokémon.

This has led fans to speculate that Sudowoodo is based on adult penises. This is maintained by the name Sudowoodo, this can be considered a bad spelling of the word tree, which makes no sense. Then word tree ends with an “O” at the to denote the Sudowoodo name. Really the theory that this is the ghost of a dead child that snuck into the game makes more sense. Dead children are notoriously bad at spelling.

#2 Keldeo

There is no way to overcome the sheer eroticism of this Pokemon. Aside from being sexually attractive, Keldeo looks kind of like a horse or a pony. I will just insultingly post a joke here. If someone shouts at you that it’s wrong to be sexually aroused by an image of Keldeo, you should remind them that she is not a horse. Keldeo is a Pokemon, and a very good looking one.

Based on the animated film for children, Keldeo is China’s fourth sexiest idol. It is based on a homogeneous mixture of all the proven attractive qualities of women. Keldeo is the fourth and final member of the Sword of Justice. Not enough? It has a feathered butt that many people are attracted to.

#1 Dunsparce

Dunsparce used by Disney as it was cheaper than Chinese wonders. This is an awesome thing. When you put a picture on a shirt, the words “Move Hands” will immediately appear next to it. If it is about 5 feet taller, you will feel more comfortable in the form of a shovel. Fortunately, Pokemon players say Dunsparce is rare in the Pokemon world. It is a yellow snake with five legs and wings that can escape detection quickly. These are so bad that no one has a problem finding them.

Clearly, Dunsparce’s lack of a soul isn’t only a feature of the game. But there is also something exciting for slugs. Slugs are a type of gastropod mollusk born in Japan. Slugs are known for jumping up into the air, speaking fluent English and flying at high speeds to escape. Like Dunsparce, slugs are rare and have little pig butts.

Perhaps, as you can imagine, the slug is a snail with no shell. There is no clear indication of its presence. However, rumors and myths about its existence have spread across Japan to this day and are part of the Pokemon series because of the dance. Why did they choose to decorate it with special Japanese folklore and Pokémon. Is it as if someone asked the Swedes to take a picture of themselves?