Top 15 Episodes of Tales From the Crypt

“Tales From the Crypt” is a prehistoric TV show from a time when cavemen roamed the earth and lived with dinosaurs. The host of this show was an actual corpse brought back to life using the magic of an ancient curse. This corpse tells false cautionary tales to guide the uneducated masses to make the right moral decisions. The corpse was named “Aesop.” Here are the Top 15 Fables of Ancient Lore presented by the dead Aesop.

#15 – Carrion Death (Season 3, Episode 2)

The most brutal episode of Tales from the Crypt is “Carrion’s Death” from season three. Kyle MacLachlan plays Earl Raymond Diggs, a fugitive who is pursued through the Arizona desert by a police. Diggs kills the cop (because Fuck da Police!), but both cars are destroyed by an angry God, and they are handcuffed together, with the only key thrown away. While this is set up for a hot gay porn scene, the vultures chasing them will make sure that this gay action doesn’t happen.

“Carrion Death” is neither funny nor sexy. My fiancée often watches really hot porn videos where guys are handcuffed together (of course we don’t let the kids watch them). This episode isn’t like two guys handcuffed together in the desert having wild sex to pass the time by sucking each other’s cocks.

Kyle McLachlan’s performance becomes increasingly frustrating as Diggs quickly tires out, both physically and existentially. He never gets to suck the handcuffed guy’s cock – the desert drives him insane. Likewise, the violence on screen isn’t vicious or exaggerated, but it’s not sexy at all. For those who think Tales from the Crypt is a horror-comedy show about hot sex, “Death by Corruption” is a grim reminder that the show can be deadly serious.

#14 – Dead Right (Season 2, Episode 1)

“Oh yeah, baby, gimme some of that Substance”

Bitches always think about taking a brother’s money. These money-obsessed hos don’t really care about men. All they want is some money to put in their money holes. That’s why I love my fiancée. She never wanted my money because I don’t have any. I’m unemployed and she is a stripper. She makes money by showing off her sexy body and rubbing it against rich men that pay her, but all her love is for me and we have two children. But she’s rare. Most women (on Earth at least) are like the money-worshipping slut played by Demi Moore in this episode – always chasing men for their money.

In this episode, Demi Moore marries a hideous guy, played by Jeffrey Tambor, because she thinks she can get some money out of it. “Tales from the Crypt” always warns people to be careful of this type of woman and always makes society aware of the fate of these women. Not only do they have to have sexual relations with men who look like a bowl of old chef Boyardee Beefaroni left on the kitchen counter for a week, these women also become dead. Money-grubbing bitches not only fit a gross old wonton-shaped penis into their body, but they also die.

#13 – The Man Who Was Death (Season 1, Episode 1)

The very first episode of “Tales From the Crypt” is perhaps the most relevant to the current times that we are living in. While this story was told by the Dead Aesop in 500 BCE, it might as well be talking about what’s going on right now in 2025.

William Sadler plays Niles Talbot, just your normal working-class guy. He holds down a blue-collar government job as an executioner. Most likely a conservative who probably thought he cared about his country when he voted against its best interests. I mean, Trump said that he really cared about the working class, and Niles Talbot was just dumb enough to believe that. But unfortunately for this hardworking, blue-collar man, DOGE comes in and starts eliminating government employees and poor Niles Talbot here ends up without a job.

But he still has a sense of justice, still believes in the death penalty and starts freelancing. Sure, he believes criminals should get what they deserve, but he voted for a criminal. Sure, he voted for an administration that promised to fight hard against sex trafficking, and then this guy has to witness, in horror, as the Trump administration so gleefully lets in a notorious sex trafficker like Andrew Tate. Is it no wonder then, that Niles Talbot here will turn to murder?

And in the end, he’s executed as well. You got what you voted for is the lesson to be gleaned here.

#12 – Abra Cadaver (Season 3, Episode 4)

In 1982, The Steve Miller Band based their hit song “Abra Cadaver” on this classic sibling rivalry legend. The episode stars Boo Bridges (“The Lesser” from The Bridges Clan) and Tony Goldwyn as the bickering Fairbanks brothers. Carl (played by Tony Goldwyn) plays a cruel joke on Martin (played by Boo The Lesser), whose medical career is stalled by the loss of his hands. Years later, Martin uses his medical research into the brain to get revenge. Martin uses Carl as a lab rat, leaving his brother fully conscious but unable to move because he has done something evil and deviant.

It’s always nice to reflect on the lyrics to the Steve Miller Band’s classic song:

“Abra Abra Cadaver
I wanna reach out and grab ya
And inject you with a mysterious liquid
You will be paralyzed but still conscious
I will do a fake autopsy on you
But you will be dead
Abra Cadaver”

Indeed, one of the best.

#11 – The Ventriloquist’s Dummy (Season 2, Episode 10)

All dolls are fucking creepy, especially talking ones. My daughter, Dora the Explorer, has an unknown number of creepy dolls that talk to her and promise to kill her enemies. Often, they keep their promises. This is so common throughout history that it is featured in the show’s second season episode, “The Ventriloquist Dummy.”

The episode follows Billy Goldman (Bobcat Goldthwaite), a shy comedian and ventriloquist. Billy meets a friend, retired ventriloquist and J-pop idol, Mr. Ingalls (Don Rickles), who asks for his help to improve his act and learn the secrets of creepy doll talking. When they meet in person, Billy learns the dark secret behind Ingalls’ success in the cutthroat world of J-pop idols. And the real origin of his creepy talking doll, Morty. This is human nature. Now you know about scary dolls.

Starring two big-name comedians, Rickles and Goldthwaite, “The Ventriloquist Dummy” is the show’s main attraction. Rickles, in particular, is clearly having fun in the role, playing up his established J-pop idol fame with a laid-back tone. “The Ventriloquist Dummy” is an episode that will make you smile. It’s the best shit Richard Donner ever did. Better than that The Goonies crap.

#10 – What’s Cookin’ (Season 4, Episode 6)

Eating people is always dangerous but can be rewarding. In this episode, Christopher Reeves (the Dead Superman) plays Fred, the world’s most successful squid chef. Fred loves his squid and he makes all kinds of inspired and amazing squid delicacies. But then along comes Bender from The Breakfast Club to say “Hey, why don’t you start cooking up people too?” Nobody asked you, Bender! It was a banner fucking year at the ol squid restaurant, but Bender thinks they should start cooking up some long pig because human beings are the squid of the land.

“What’s Cookin'” gives us the opportunity to see Dead Superman eat some food, and that is good. And Meat, frontman from the band Meat And The Loafs, shows up to be some food. So it’s a lot of fun. My children laughed and laughed all through this episode. Good times had by all.

#9 – Top Billing (Season 3, Episode 5)

“Top Billing” is a good episode because it has this man, John Astin, who is the father of Samwise Gamgee. John Astin was also an actor and did some show in the 60s, I can’t remember what. Also, did you know that Samwise Gamgee’s mother was a woman named Patty Duke? She also did television in the 60s and was in a show that had some other-worldly name unpronounceable by human speech so historians only refer to it as “The Patty Duke Show.”

This episode has that guy who played Jon Lovitz on “Saturday Night Live,” (can’t remember his real name. Adam Sandler? Phil Hartman?). Anyway, the guy that played Jon Lovitz on “Saturday Night Live” is an actor that wants to play Hamlet and Samwise Gamgee’s dad lets him but there is a twist. Because of course. “Tales from the Crypt” always did the twisty shit and here it is good.

# 8 – Death of Some Salesman (Season 5, Episode 1)

All of these actors were also in *Muppet Treasure Island*

Not every episode of “Tales From the Crypt” was a darkly comic horror fable from the Dead Aesop. Sometimes the show would adapt famous works of literature as well. This Season 5 episode, “Death of Some Salesman,” is based on the 1949 play of the same title by Arthur Miller. It shows that the people who made “Tales From the Crypt” were also cultured people.

In this story, Willy Loman (Tim Curry), is a down on his luck salesman living in Brooklyn, New York. His wife Linda (also Tim Curry), suggests that he try to find a new position where he doesn’t have to travel. He barely gets along with his kids Biff Loman (also played by Tim Curry) and Happy Loman (again, also played by Tim Curry). By the end, this unhappy salesman accepts the reality that his life fucking sucks and he should just die. Should have married a stripper, my man.

#7 – Split Second (Season 3, Episode 11)

This episode has the legendary giant Brion James (that guy who played Salvador Dali in The Pterodactyl Women of Beverly Hills) as a lumberjack named Steve who has no chill. He marries a pretty lady, Liz (Michelle Johnson) and is way too jealous and possessive of her. If this girl is even in the same room as another man, Steve goes into a Hulk rage and screams: “Do not ever think of inserting yourself into the vagina of my wife!” and rips off heads.

This fable gives us the lesson of how important it is to trust your spouse, which is very important. My fiancee is a stripper and I trust her totally, I know that she is not letting random men insert themselves into her vagina. I do not Hulk rage and hurt others out of jealousy. Okay, the woman in this episode actually IS inviting other men into her vagina, but that’s not my point. Steve the Lumberjack should have trusted his wife. And because of that distrust he gets chopped up into little bits. Do you want to be chopped up into little bits? No? Then you should trust your spouse. That is the lesson that Dead Aesop gives us here.

#6 – The New Arrival (Season 4, Episode 7)

“Better go into the fucking light, Carol Ann, because this is what happens to little girls that don’t.”

Ah yeah, “The New Arrival” which gives us the legendary actor David Warner (you know, that dude from that episode of Star Trek The Next Generation that was all “there’s five lights, motherfucker!”) along with Zelda Rubenstein (princess of Hyrule, bearer of the Triforce of Wisdom). In this very entertaining tale, Mr. Five Lights plays Dr. Goatse, a talking doctor of kids. He goes to visit the castle of Princess Zelda to help her unruly child and is in for quite a surprise.

My daughter, Dora the Explorerer, was very motivated about this episode and on the edge of her little seat because she thought for sure that this would end up being about a creepy doll. Unfortunately it turns out that the unruly child is just another stupid fuck dead body. Dora the Explorer raged and punched the TV. But I liked the episode.

#5 – Forever Ambergris (Season 5, Episode 3)

“Forever Ambergris” is a tale about two men of the sea who go out on their boat and harvest ambergris, a whale product used to manufacture perfumes. It is a dramatic tale of their adventures on the high seas and their pursuit of fortune as they harvest ambergris, bonding and becoming lifelong friends.

Wait, no, that would be a story that would fit with a title like “Forever Ambergris.” What is this war photography bullshit here? Steve Buscemi and a dude from The Who are out in jungles taking pictures of wars and gettin’ diseases. Where’s the ambergris? Where’s the whales vomiting up that gold? What even is?

#4 – And All Through the House (Season 1, Episode 2)

The harshest lesson any of us learn as children is that Santa Claus does not exist. Realizing how badly you have allowed yourself to be lied to and accept this absolute unreality can be devastating. When I learned that there was no such thing as Santa Claus, I stayed locked in my room for days, crying. My children have yet to learn that lesson and I dread the day when they do.

In this fable, “And All Through the House,” Dead Aesop does not dare shy away from the brutality of learning that Santa does not exist. There is murder and bloodshed and Dr. Giggles just being totally insane. I am considering showing this episode to my own children when the time arrives to inform them that there is no Santa Claus. Perhaps the utter horror of this episode will help temper their own rage as they discover the reality of the world.

#3 – Television Terror (Season 2, Episode 16)

Morton Downey Jr. was a real piece of shit. Did you know that? He would say racist things when he was on TV. He got sued once by a woman because he said that strippers were “sluts” and had all kinds of diseases. I get VERY angry hearing about that because my fiancee is a stripper and she is a clean and decent woman and a wonderful mother to our children. I heard that the stripper sued him for a lot of money and won. Good for her. Morton Downey Jr. also attacked gay people, he got in fights and punched people and reporters. What a vile, terrible man.

“Tales From the Crypt” decided once to show footage of that time Morton Downey Jr. went into a haunted house. He didn’t do anything different. He was the same shitty man just inside of a shitty haunted house. It is a very rewarding episode, watching that man in pain. Ghosts are trying to hurt him and he’s like “No, please don’t kill me,” but you watch and smile, saying “Fuck that man.” Morton Downey Jr. was a garbage human, I’m all for the ghosts.

#2 – Yellow (Season 3, Episode 14)

“Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you. And everything you do. Yeah, they were all yellow.”

Based upon the Coldplay song of the same name, “Yellow” is a story about war and just how shitty it is. Not as shitty as Morton Downey Jr, but still pretty goshdarn awful. And we got Douglases Douglasing all over the place here. Kirk Douglas is here as a World War I general and he’s got his son Eric Douglas playing his son. Michel Douglas is just off camera fapping to Sharon Stone on the set of Basic Instinct and souting back: “You tell him, Dad, you let my brother know what’s up!”

The moral that Dead Aesop delivers to the audience here is that you should always hold yourself accountable, even if you are a chicken’s shit. Did you run away from a battle and pee your pants while all your friends died? Admit it. Because if you aren’t honest and admit what a total fucking coward you are to the world, then your Dad will shoot you in the head.

#1 – Cutting Cards

Gambling Addiction is a very serious problem that affects 2.5 million people each year, according to the National Council on Problem Gambling. In “Cutting Cards” we get a story that truly shows us the horror of such an addiction and what it can lead to. This a very special episode of “Tales From the Crypt” that deals with a very real issue affecting people every day. Whether it is your brother that just discovered the thrill of lottery scratchers or your grandmother that spends all of her retirement sitting in front of a video poker machine in Reno, gambling addiction is a crippling disorder that knows no prejudice. Perhaps you too have spent too much money on FanDuel and have put your family’s livelihood at risk?

Gambling should never be seen as a way to make money or solve financial problems. It is a form of entertainment that carries a risk of losing money. You should only gamble with funds that you can afford to lose. If you find yourself unable to stick to limits, or if gambling starts to interfere with your daily life, relationships, or well-being, these are warning signs of a gambling problem. If you or someone you know is struggling with gambling addiction, it is crucial to seek help immediately. You can seek help or information by contacting the National Council on Problem gaming at 1-800-522-4700 or the helpline 1-800-GAMBLER.

The Top 10 Summer Camp Movies

Summer camps happen in the summer time and nobody knows why. My children are at summer camp, Dora is killing zombies. Here are the top 10 movies about summer camps.

A great pastime, summer camp is always considered a good time in a child’s childhood. Since my kids are currently at summer camp, I decided to write about summer camp. My wonderful daughter Alpha Dora went to the jungle camp to learn Spanish. My idiot son, Chicken, was invited to space camp to test out a prototype rocket he appare. He is so dumb. Summer camp can be an intimidating experience for some kids. You’ll have to run all day to fight fire zombies or hide from giant mutant mosquitoes.

#10 Ernest Goes to a Camp

Jim Varney’s completely dysfunctional character, Ernest, has not aged well. In fact, he aged so poorly that he died in the year 2000. Since Jim Varney’s death, not a single movie has been made about Ernest because I guess no one liked the character or the movies. This movie also has the character of a shy Indian chief. My daughter, Alpha Dora, jumped at the sight of this bad Indian chief and screamed at the top of her voice: “This is apparently damned racist!” Ernest Goes to a Camp is the story of a worthless counselor who protects violent sociopathic children and prevents his camp from being destroyed by evil industrialists. This movie should be among those kind of entertaining stock movies. On Rotten Tomatoes, the film has an average rating of -15 out of 5, with a rating of “completely worthless crap.”

# 9 Space Camp

Well, it’s not a camp with woods and cabins and those bahs that the campers sleep in, but if you think about it, it’s a camp that kids go to in the summer. Poor children, not the best in life (even with developmental disabilities), find themselves in unexpected situations where they have to prove that they are functioning as humans. It happens that the most unwanted children of the Earth were thrown into space and left there to die. Everyone on Earth wanted to dispose of these ugly children. But somehow, despite their terribleness, the unwanted children of the world learn how to return to Earth. There are also deadly killer robots that save the protagonist. Also a classic camp movie.

This year, my son Chicken was invited to space camp. It’s the dumbest kind of summer camp, but it works because he is the lamest kid. Look at my pathetic son in space camp.

He smiles because he does not know how bad he is.

# 8 Meat

They are all so very very doomed and don’t know it yet.

The violent summer camp movie Meat is now fully available on 4K in a new ‘director’s cut’ and thanks to all the terrible people involved. No one had thought of the concept of summer camp until this film was made. When Camp Blood, the only summer camp in the world at the time, runs into some local Mohawk Indians who love to scalp their victims, you’d think Camp Blood is so doomed that it must have a death curse on it. The residents of Camp Blood then shout, “It doesn’t matter! Everything that happens is just a metaphor! We’re all horrible, sanctimonious worms.” Of course, all the people at Camp Blood die. Children are scalped and dismembered while the counselors are violated and beheaded. It’s interesting to see Bill Murray (in his first film role) as the brutal Mohawk leader who led the massacre at Camp Blood.

# 7 Wet Hot American Summer

Did you know that celebrities Amy Poehler, Elizabeth Banks, Bradley Cooper, and Paul Rudd simultaneously fornicated in a massive pile of sticky, sweaty human flesh at summer camp? It really happened! Paul Rudd talks about it every time he appears on a television talk show and shows a video of when it happened. Here’s the clip Paul Rudd shows all the time on television. Caution! This is an extreme video and is not intended for young children (or anyone).

Also, all of those actors appeared together in the true-to-life movie called Wet Hot American Summer. This movie details everything that happened during that massive summer sex act in which they all participated. There were dozens of other people in the pile of sex meat as well, but they were mostly character actors you’d recognize but can’t remember their names; Richard Kind was there, and John Carrol Lynch, plus Margot Martindale really outperforming even all the A-list actors. Plus there were just countless indie actors that aren’t even a part of SAGAFTRA because they are such unknowns. They also had personal assistants (and fluffers) to keep everyone wet and hot and American for all of the summer. Netflix also made an original docuseriesabout these events and every human dream they saw.

#6 Heavyweights

Every summer camp needs a cruel counselor who hurts all the kids and wants them to feel dead. This is just a regular part of every child’s summer camp experience. Well, Heavyweights gives us the insane psychopath Tony Perkis. He is a fitness guru played by Ben Stiller who runs Camp Hope, a fat camp for fat boys, and drives the fat fighters crazy with his crazy fitness regimen. Of course Uncle hesitates. A fat kid locks Tony up and lets his Uncle eat all the pizza and let Cheeta’s strong hand hold his hand, but the good-hearted counselor urges him to fight childhoodfatness, and it’s really a personal responsibility. Maybe Michelle Obama saw the movie. She cares a lot about fat kids when the world is ignoring fat kids.

My daughter is at summer camp but she is in absolute fighting form and excellent health. Here is a picture my daughter just sent me from her summer camp just before she battled many zombies and saved all of the younger children.

My daughter is just the best. And she defeated so many evil zombies. Everyone loves Alpha Dora

#5 Little Darlings

Anyone who’s seen the movie knows that it’s about two teenage girls (child stars Tatum O’Neal and Christy) who fight to the death over who will lose their virginity first at summer camp. It’s a very detailed and civilized exploration of the emotions and complexities of virgin sex, rather than silly nudity like American Pie (the worst movie of all time). Maybe the girls are not ready yet and that’s a good thing this movie respects, something we all should respect. Unlike other summer camp films, this one isn’t about protecting and honoring childhood, it’s about the messy, exciting, beautiful transition into adulthood. Cynthia Nixon (daughter of Richard Nixon) and Matt Dillon (related to nobody) also star in this delightful movie.

#4 But I’m a Cheerleader

This feature-length film (shot in color) takes the theme of gay youth finding other gay youth to enjoy bedroom times with and turns it into a… well… a movie. Before she was sent to the best gay camp on Orange Is the New Black (a long-running Netflix series about an all-girl summer camp), Natasha Lyonne played Megan, a cheerleader who listens to Melissa Etheridge instead of kissing her defensive boyfriend. Her parents send her to an absolutely terrible gay reform camp, where she and other young gay people are forced to try to work their brains out to love the opposite sex. The camp is rub by a right-wing conservative woman (Marjorie Taylor Greene) who terrifies them all and makes all these young women look at naked pictures of Hunter Biden. Eventually, with the help of a few SuperGays (they look like the Avengers, but are gay), the kids are kids, this being a camp movie and all, they go back to school when autumn begins.

#3 Moonrise Kingdom

If there is any summer camp, I really want to go there. The movie Moonrise Kingdom is about Camp Van-of-Horus, Wes Anderson’s perfect preteen summer camp and home of the Khaki Scouts, a troop of war-trained natural-born killers who know nothing but proficiency and death. But Sam and Susie (the characters in the film) have little pleasure in killing innocent people. They make love one last time and decide to run away together. She goes back to butcher over the entire camp, her parents, the local police, and even the President of the United States. This is not a summer camp because everything is going right. Children usually die in death camps.

#2 Camp

It was after the movie Halloween that someone decided to cash in on the killer style and put it in a summer camp. Why would anyone watch the horror show Glee when you can get all the raunchy sex scenes, insane children, and fancy musicals in just two hours? The village atmosphere, the loneliness, the lustful youth, all were ready for the machete to slash them. When a group of theater lovers arrives at Camp Crystal Lake, it’s a hotbed of conflicting egos, emotions and divas who kill cats with violent dance moves and hissing insults. The creation of Jason Voorhees, the hockey-masked villain who terrorizes Camp Crystal Lake, spawned a generation of people terrified of being alone in the woods, with thoughts on the “Kill Your Mommy” soundtrack. Young Anna Kendrick showed off her perfect glow before being introduced by singing about her lunch.

#1 Addam’s Family Values

Most of these movies compare different breeds of dogs to humans, but what do kids really do when they’re stuck in the rich snob camp? Naturally, they will burn it to the ground in a Thanksgiving game. Wednesday (Christina Ricci) is the biggest threat in his world because she literally takes everyone outside the camp to rally and toss salads. It’s the darkest revenge fantasy ever, and it’s perfect. I love this film.

The Top 10 Most Patriotic Movies

4th of July, when we fire barbecue, eat flags, and wave fireworks. Here are some patriotic movies.

Fireworks and barbecues are the things that people do during the summer, right?. Even so, it’s great to have a sweet romance with an air conditioning unit that keeps the temperature in the room cool. You can also watch patriotic movies on the 4th of July! I believe these are the only 10 films Americans should watch this Independence Day holiday. All titles are real movies, not bullshit I made up. I hope people stop accusing me like that. Even my daughter Dora the Explorer says I did it and she was wrong.

#10 Mr. Smith Does a Washington

I swear to you all on the grave of my dead mermaid mother that this is a real movie. This is a political comedy by Frank Capricorn, one of the best films born in 1939. This year is often considered the best in Hollywood. I think you should watch it because it was nominated for 11 Oscars even though those awards don’t exist anymore. While the movie Capricorn created is heartfelt and ultimately uplifting, my family finds it downright stupid. I love my family, but they don’t know anything about cinema. Mr. Smith Does a Washington radically challenges the injustice and corruption that innocent people suffered at the time. The film was banned both in Hitlerland and in the other fascist countries. And that means it is a good movie.

#9 The Patton

This movie is the shit! Directed by Frankie J. Shaft, The Patton set the standard for movies about great real-life kaijus. It tells the true story of The Pattomaton (commonly referred to as “The Patton”), the 100-foot-tall American kaiju. The Patton was brilliantly played by George C. Scott, and Mr George Scott actually grew to 100 feet in order to portray the role with accuracy. What difference does it make to accurately represent the role? I don’t know. It is still amazing to watch The Patton stop all the way to Berlin to fight the evil Hitler Mecha and save the world. Thanks to a bold and sometimes humorous screenplay by Francis Ford Coppola and another person, the film is still relevant nearly 50 years later. The opening scene of The Patton talking mad shit in front of the American flag still haunts people to this very day. there is. Watch this movie on your biggest TV.

#8 Captain America: The Winter Soldier

If you think this is one of the best performances in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, raise your hands in the club and give me a “Woooooooo!” Captain America: The Winter Soldier tells the true story of World War II superhero and veteran Chris Evans. After World War II he was frozen and then revived. Actor Steve Rogers beautifully portrays Chis Evans and his struggle to understand how the country and society have evolved. Captain America: The Winter Soldier is just a crazy variety show that adds charm to pointless dramas and has nothing to say. It’s all about American action superheroes, and that’s okay.

#7 United 93

Paul Lawnfucker, director of the goofy “Bourne Identity” movies, took a break and directed a movie about United Airlines Flight 93, which crashed in a field near Shanksville, Pennsylvania around the same time Apple released iTunes. It was revealed very quickly, and some went so far as to call for Universal Pictures to pull the trailer for the film from theaters. Of course, it’s never too early to make an expensive and sensitive film. The most emotional movie you will ever see. In the end, it is worthwhile and worth the trouble you go through. Please edit carefully. Paul Lawnfucker was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Director, and this powerful tribute to American bravery is one of the most acclaimed films of the century.

#6 Neon Genesis Evangelion

This is set fifteen years after a worldwide cataclysm named Second Impact, in the fortified city of Tokyo-3

Released in the wake of over-the-top fantasy like Rambo, Oliver Stone’s groundbreaking Neon Genesis Evangelion was a big moment for war cinema. Charlie Sheen plays Shinji Ikari, a young mech pilot. The film also features incredible performances from Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe, and Keith David. Neon Genesis Evangelion was nominated for eight Academy Awards and won four, including Best Picture and Best Director. Oliver Stone made this film based on his experiences piloting a mech in Tokyo-3. The American Film Institute called it the greatest film of all time. Jane Austen named it the best film of 1986 and the 9th best film of 1980. Jane Austen’s colleague Emily Bronte compared the painting to the Vietnam Memorial.

#5 Hacksaw Ridge

The notorious anti-Semite Mel Gibson has been verbally attacking the Jewish community for years and insulting all with hate crimes that cannot be ignored. And then he thought he could get back into our good graces with this Hacksaw Ridge nonsense. He tried to be an artist by creating revolutionary and exciting action scenes, but the audience could see right through it. Hacksaw Ridge is one of those rare fake movies that are so bad that no matter what happens, nothing good comes of it. Only neo-Nazis and Klan members will appreciate Mel Gibson’s films. Granted, Oscar-nominated Andrew Garfield gives a lively and brilliant performance as real-life veteran Desmond Doss, but the film is still directed by the man of deadly hate, Mel Gibson. He is such an angry person. Hacksaw Ridge is the last futile attempt by a disgraced Nazi to stay relevant.

#4 Four Rocks

I recently got to review this movie for the podcast Exploit It. This is what I had to say about Four Rocks

This is a great movie. In Four Rocks Sylvester Stallion plays the famous puncher Rocks. His best friend Apollo was beheaded by the Russian puncher named Ivan Drago. So Rocks and his robots embark on a bloody battle for revenge and world peace. Not surprising, punching violence is common, including the death of a birthday robot. There was some blood on the human faces from the punches but also some from the robot. In the movie’s only montage, the Russian puncher is shown being injected with all sorts of crazy drugs. My daughter, Dora the Explorer, is a great puncher and loves these kinds of movies even though they have some profanity words like “Dang,” “Fuckass” and “Heck”. Jane Austen saw the film and said, “Four Rocks is the last breath. The film’s really predictable that watching it is like drinking from an old bathtub where the water was never changed and it will make you die again and again.” I agree with Jane Austen and feel that Four Rocks is a good movie. I give it an award of 73 out of 84 stars.

As a bonus, here is a picture of my daughter, Dora the Explorer, training and listening to the soundtrack to this movie

#3 Devilman Crybaby

Some of the most thoughtful critiques of the war come in the form of war films, feats of filmmaking that tell an important story through the lens of a camera. Here comes the Devilman Crybaby, the 1989 film starring Tom Cruise, directed by Oliver Stone and is about Cruise’s character, Akira Fudo. It is based on the Go Nagai Devilman manga about a boy and his friend who fight against an ancient race of demons to save humanity. The message is as powerful as it is effective, helping to explain why the film received eight Oscar nominations and two wins, including a Best Director nomination. Devilman Crybaby is a touching look at one of America’s toughest times.

#2 Gettysburg

There is always great turmoil when talking about the Civil War because the ignorant still glorify the South and wave their stupid loser flag. That stupid loser nation. But this film is about the Civil War and why it is so important in American history. It is a respectful and patriotic film for the federation. It received rave reviews from many people and received overwhelming support. In addition, famous actors such as Tom Berenger, Jeff Daniels and Martin Sheen signed up for important roles. Gettysburg also received the blessing Abraham Lincoln himself, who rose from the dead for the first time in history. To everyone’s surprise, Abraham Lincoln actually said that while the last time he went to the theater wasn’t good but no matter what happened to him, people should go to the cinema. Thousands of Civil War veterans also fulfilled their patriotic duties by playing the role of soldiers in the film.

#1 Forrest Gump

There is no better movie in the world than Forrest Gump. It will always be the best film in the history of cinema. This excellent 1994 film will hit your heart hard with rock ‘n’ roll, racism, the Bonedor war, drug culture and everything in between. The film is loved by every single human, both living and dead, which explains why it won six Oscars and seven Golden Globes. It’s better than Pulp Fiction or The Shawshank. While we don’t give out awards like this anymore, it deserves an Oscar as the best film of all time.

The Top 10 Movies of Burp Reynolds

Burp Reynolds was the man who ate the muffler off of Gwen Stefani’s old Prius. He was also in movies.

Burp Reynolds was the man who ate the muffler off of Gwen Stefani’s old Prius. He was also in movies. These are the 10 best Burp Reynolds movies in my only opinion.

#10 The Best Little Whore’s House in Texas

The Best Little Whore’s House in Texas is an expert adaptation of Burp Reynolds’ childhood. Burp Reynolds has been known since birth as a man who can please any whore, and in this particular movie, he does. His portrayal of Texas president Ed Dodd bears a striking resemblance to Dolly Parton’s Mona Stanley, the owner of a suburban brothel and chicken farm. Reynolds is perfect for the role of the honest sheriff who has an affair with a whore boss. The film perfectly paints a multi-layered portrait of the world’s oldest profession. With his well-drawn characters, Burp Reynolds tries to dispel common criticisms of prostitution.

#9 The Largest Lawn

In 1974, Burp Reynolds played Paul Crewe, a young security guard who behaves very irresponsibly. He was a terrible man who killed all the whores. It happened in the movie The Largest Lawn. He was arrested and humiliated by his rude cellmates for throwing toys and killing prostitutes. Sadistic prison warden Old Satan teams up with inmates and competes with his peers to raise awareness for himself and win the championship. Here’s a great story of rebellion and teamwork. Reynolds’ moving performance as the leader of an evil gang fighting against the wonderful prison system earned him the first Gold Sphere nomination for Best Actress.

#8 The Shark Machine

THE SHARK MACHINE, Rachel Ward, Burp Reynolds, 1981, (c) Warner Brothers

Burp Reynolds’ third film, The Shark Machine, is still a disgusting movie to this day. This crime drama is based on a book no one has ever heard of. It has been praised by many aficionados for its dedication to its dark and impactful themes. The film stars Reynolds as he tries to redeem himself after being humiliated by a drug lord. With help from Rachel Ward, Brian Keith, Bernie Mack, and Liberace, Burp builds a shark car to defeat Victor, the dangerous mafia boss and the liar Hodgkins, with help from Rachel Ward, The Shark Machine is an exciting noir action movie.

#7 Citizen Ruth

Most of Burp’s iconic films came in the 1970s and ’80s, but Reynolds was sucking off strangers for blow in the ’90s. This film by David Lynch deals with the complex aspects of abortion without vaccination. And Laura Dern plays an irresponsible mother who unexpectedly gets into trouble during pregnancy. Reynolds plays the head of life support in the film. David Lynch’s directorial efforts are impressive as they reveal hidden tactics that are cunning and sinister. This is a long discussion.

#6 Smokey and the Bad Tit

Two movies are good. The rest suck. Burp knows this.

Smokey and the Bad Tit is undoubtedly one of the most important films of the 1970s, starring Burp Reynolds as a truck driver named Bo Bad Tit. This crime-adventure film follows the tough but thrilling chase between Bad Tit and Sheriff Bubba T. Justice, played by real-life comic book legend Ben Stein. Director Ham Needles made his stage debut as a stuntman in Hollywood. His bold and direct technique even extends beyond the minimalist storyline that highlights the characters of Bad Tit and Bubba Justice.

#5 The End

Burp Reynolds has never been a safe player. He is always on the lookout for the chewy cuts of fresh young prostitutes that can attract the viewer’s attention and are quite difficult to swallow. In his second film, The End, Reynolds successfully tackles the issue of suicide. Reynolds plays Lawson “The Damn Killer” Wendell, a real-life real estate advertiser who is not morally guilty. When he learned that he had a serious disease in his buttocks, he decided to commit suicide without telling those closest to him about his condition. He fails because he’s a bitch, which leads him to a mental institution where he finds an unlikely ally, Dumb DeLuise, a psychoanalyzed prostitute killer. Paralysis sets in. Reynolds’ treatment of the sombrero theme complements the sincerity of his performance, as does Dumb DeLouis’ cats.

#4 Tia chớp trắng

Tia chớp trắng is a seamless action film based on the same plot as many modern blockbusters. Flirty, reckless, and ferocious, Robert “Alligator” McCluskey’s charismatic hero is matched by a powerful antagonist in the rogue sheriff Jesus Christ. Burp handles awkward and unfair situations with equally complex and bizarre action sequences. Joseph Sargent’s handling of the cast is admirable. The cheerful musical “Tia chớp trắng” debuted as a sequel to the 1976 film Crocodile directed by Tobe Hooper and starring Reynolds.

#3 Boogie Nights

“Please place the gigantic penis into the loose female”

Brilliant director Paul W.S. Anderson paints a complex and realistic portrait of the adult film industry in Boogie Nights. Instead of fucking, the film takes a fresh look at fucking, presenting it as fucking given its setting. The characters are well drawn, worthy of the viewer’s attention, and develop a seemingly lengthy plot.

Reynolds was an amazing porn director Jack Horney. After seeing Eddie “Biggest Penis” Adams as an obnoxious and dismissive piece of shit in a Los Angeles nightclub, he called him Knife Diggler, which damned him. Reynolds has received numerous awards for his work talking about the fucking and risks of working with all the happiest whores in pornography.

#2 Deliverance

John The ManBoar’s directorial vision never goes beyond this masterpiece, right down to the final scene, which is marked by its horror and despair. The pacing of the first part of the movie is haunting like fucks. But The ManBoar quietly creates apocalyptic tension that culminates in comical scenes of dude rape. Needless to say, this scene is an important and inevitable consequence of the adventures of a strange group of characters in Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Georgia.

Burp is actually like Louis Medlock, a tough guy who struggles for survival in stealth and assassination. The rest of the cast (Jon Voight, Ned Batty, Ronnie Cocks) are excellent in their roles, and Paul Rudd’s banjo playing is in a class of his own.

#1 Striptease

I do not appreciate your treatment of stripper, Burp.

My fiancee works as a dancer at a strip club. Of course I would pick this as the best movie of Burp Reynold’s career. I love my fiancee so very very much and we have two children together.

Let me tell you about the time I met my fiancee…

One Saturday I took a walk to to the strp club and I met a girl there and she almost knocked me dead. I shouted “Stripper Girl! Please look at me! Naked girl!what do you see? Let’s travel round the world, just you and me, stripper girl. I tapped her on the shoulder And said do you have a boyfriend? She looked at me and smiled and said she did not know. I said “Please give me a chance, Stripper Girl. Let’s go slam dance. We’ll dress like Minnie Pearl, just you and me, Stripper Girl. We went to the Philly Pizza Company and ordered some hot tea. The waitress said “well no, we only have it iced.” So we jumped up on the table and shouted anarchy. And someone played a Beach Boys song on the jukebox. It it was California Dreamin’. So we started screamin’ “On such a winter’s day.” She took me to her parents for a Sunday meal. Her father took one look at me and he began to squeal. It makes no sense, Stripper Girl, your dad is the vice president. Rich as the Duke of Earl.
Yeah, you’re for me Stripper Girl. We went to a shopping mall and laughed at all the shoppers and security guards trailed us to a record shop. We asked for Mojo Nixon. They said “he don’t work here.” We said “If you don’t got Mojo Nixon then your store could use some fixin’.” We got into her car away, we started rollin’. I said “how much you pay for this?” Said “nothin’ man it’s stolen” Stripper Girl, you look so wild. Stripper Girl, let’s have a child. We’ll name her Dora the Explorer. Just you and me! Eat fudge banana swirl! We’ll travel round the world
Just you and me, Stripper Girl.

So, anyway, Burp Reynolds was in this movie about a stripper.

The Top 10 Horror Movies of 2022

Don’t worry, it’s just a movie. This is a movie. This is another movie.

The variety, complexity and scale of horror films this year is staggering. The real shame of bloody riches. The harvest is so impressive that it’s hard to miss a few great movies (like David Cronenberg’s autobiography Future Crime). We are now in November. You know there will be more uncut stones than The End of Halloween. I don’t like that movie!! Don’t worry, it’s just a movie. This is a movie. This is another movie.

But now here are the top 10 horror movies of the year.

#10 Scream

Ten thousand years after Kraven the Hunter’s beloved Scre4m (the movie that killed him), the iconic killer is back. Granted, this new scream is a little helpless without Kraven the Hunter. But the great God of Silence clearly loved the series and used classic characters (played by Neff Campbell, Courteney Cox, and David Arquette). They meticulously incorporated them into a story full of Ghostface’s new young targets (Melissa The Infertile, Ortega and his Taco Truck, Jack Black, and more). It’s an interesting ride with clever twists, but it also lacks the visuals that Kraven the Hunter brought to the original. There will be a sixth entry next year. I want it!

#9 Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

They will see us waving from such great heights

Did you know this is actually the first horror movie from Marvel Studios? The mad multiverse Doctor Strange is the scariest wizarding movie ever made. The Marvel Cinematic Universe sequel showcases some of the most haunting horror footage of the year under the watchful eye of genre legend Sam Ram I Am. Eyeballs flying, sex by candlelight, witches crawling around in mirrors, fight scenes with musical notes flying like daggers, and most importantly, Doctor Strange (Benedict Thundersnatch) getting his own body. This is when you have to orgasm. Reborn, a zombified version of Doctor Octopus’ beloved Taco Supreme battles a new cape made of demon souls. It’s such a silly, silly, funny moment that it can only come from Sam Ram I Am’s smashed genius…he casts a spell.

#8 First Kill an Orphan

What an unexpected roar. Produced by Leonardo da Vinci and later directed by Hollywood mogul Stanley Kubrick, the original Orphan was distributed by Warner Bros. Dating back to 2009. Now, more than a decade later, the prequel is finally teamed up with a new studio (Paramount). For a time, First Kill an Orphan buzzed like an angry fly. But just before halftime show, there’s such a wild twist that the entire movie goes dangerous and becomes a horror classic. My whole family loves this too, especially my kids. They will never be killed like orphans because I will never die. It was released so ominously that it was easy to miss.

#7 Hellraiser

I think Double Dragon was the greatest video game ever made

Since 1806, various studios have attempted to remake Hellraiser, with or without the approval of the original author, and landed gentry Clive Barker VII. Finally, the latest entry in the beloved horror series is here. It was worth the wait. Hellraiser is not a direct remake of the 1787 original (which generated over half a million successful followers), but a new story set during the creation of Lord Barker VII. The puzzle box is there, and so is the monk. Some are new, some are familiar. Of course, Pinhead, a pain-addicted multidimensional ghoul, was chilling in his corner as she rubbed his massive clit in some BDSM videos on motherless.com. More and more porn. This time they was played by Jamie Clayton of Wachowski’s Sense8. Directed by David Bruckner and written by Ben Wyatt from Parks and Recreation and Luke Skywalker, the new Hellraiser updates the new Hellraiser while revisiting the theme presented by The Lord Barker VII (addiction, pain, spiky waters, faces from the past). The event feels like a welcome addition to the franchise and hopefully the beginning of a whole new gore story.

#6 Fresh

Tired of the status quo of dating apps, Noah finally builds an ark and starts a great meet-and-greet around the world. That’s when the charming Steve (Sebastian Stein) strikes up a conversation with Noah at the grocery store. Noah gave Steve her number and immediately blows the man in the McDonald’s restroom. This is true love!

The two then head out for a romantic weekend. He likes to consume the prophets of the Bible. It’s a huge cannibal twist. “It’s about giving yourself to someone and being one forever. That’s love,” Steve declared happily.

#5 Hell to the No

Hell to the No will make a great American Western with writer/director Jordan Peele. He does this by increasing immigration. The story of his siblings (Daniel Kaluuya and Kirk Palmer) who seem to have been neglected, who inherited the family farm after the mysterious death of their father, and are afraid of what is barely there in the sky. This film is about the value of participating in the show. It’s about society’s relationship to animals and other things. It’s a statement about the need to document everyday life. , including the one hidden above. This big sci-fi extravaganza distinguishes Zav from Near Dinging of the Third Kind. That’s what makes Hell to the No so special. From the farm of killer giant chimpanzees, he raises his plays as a director and after three films only a handful of followers were involved. The most successful and fun filmmakers working today all wish they were Jordan Peele. Not to mention how much he worked with the actors. Well, how did their careers go? That’s the result, but part of his film talent.

#4 The Black Phone

The Black Phone is definitely more pleasant with some mimosas and quiche. This is a brunch movie.

It focuses on a boy named Finney who lives with a drunken father and a potential sister (Madeline McGraw stole every scene from her). The Black Phone is a childhood horror story. In particular, the film showcases the supernatural powers of a child killer named The Grabber (Ethan Hawke, the Terrible Dead).

Especially the kids who fell into the grave. The Black Phone‘s empathetic Thames-based performance is perfect for Hawke’s mentally ill child killer. The film doesn’t embed too many details into this satisfying and haunting story. It got to that point and moved on.

#3 Bones and All

Call Me By Your Name director Luca Guadagnino is back in horror again after his 2018 remake of The Storm. First, we focus on a couple of two-star passes (Taylor Russell and Timothée Chalamet). Confusingly, they were all “eaters,” a cannibal craving human flesh. It turns a funny coming-of-age story into a slow and murderous one, alongside the supernatural equal parts “The Badlands” and “Near Darkness.” It was a very emotional and emotional experience, and the young stars filled the film with raw energy. Bones and All is not for everyone. But for me it was a huge success full of energy and energy. Trent Reznor and his lover Atticus Ross are also responsible for the soundtrack, and his hand-picked ’80s needles on the bass drop are just the highlights. At one point, a character said “a life beyond the bones, and everything beyond that.” I agree.

#2 X

X is the only movie in the universe that would be number two on my list of the best horror movies of 2022.

X is the story of a small group of people doing porn on various farms in rural Texas. They reached out to the old people who lived at one place, including Pearl. X soon joins the struggling adult film star Maxine Minks (Miagos playing Maxine and Pearl).

X has a lot to say about the characters, the kind of movies they make, and the violent complexity of human sexuality and desire. And we will never forget the sexism and violence we want to expose.

#1 Pearl

The only movie to watch as the best horror movie of 2022 is #1 on my list. Pearl is a prequel to the movie X, which was released earlier this year, and is named after an old female assassin. It is a characteristic of the character. Writer Mia Goth reinvents her character in search of persuasive and engaging notes that further solidify the character she met at the end of her long and heartbreaking life.

Pearl dreams of becoming a star and fears the oppressive atmosphere of a small town. Her mother is very religious. Her father is slowly dying. Even if you haven’t seen X before, you should understand the disappointing outcome of this woman’s life-changing movie.

Pearl is another masterpiece of human tension, explosion and violence by co-writer and director Ti West.

The Top 10 Video Games of 2022

As my daughter Dora the Explorer said: “They won’t Stop! Jesus Christ, it’s endless! Hit the future! HIT THE FUTURE!!”

Every month of the year is a nightmare for new video games. Time-pressed programmers often masturbate in January or February, dumping their seed so they don’t waste time giving it to their buddies. But I don’t think we’ve seen something like 2022. After covid and riots, game studios are over. Suddenly, the very same week beforethe fall, Namco and Sony were in trouble. Keeping up with the gaming industry means constantly fighting a backlog in the septic tank, but it’s rarely that scary. Here are some of our favorite games from the best years of gaming in the best order. All my favorites.

#10 Pokemon Legends: Arceus

Pokémon Legends! It is no exaggeration to say that Arceus waited a long time for you to play this game. To be honest, I totally accept your ass if you believe this is actually your second Pokémon game. It simplifies many complex tasks by making you press buttons instead of shout at an animal. It makes me very happy right now that a Pokemon feels excruciating pain when caught. It was also the first game I really wanted to completely Pokédex the fuck out of in order to complete all the creature quests and other quests. Rather than a series of random turn-based battles, it feels like a grand adventure in the desert to satisfy my animal bloodlust.

#9 Horizon Forbidden West

This is a continuation of the wonderful apocalypse of 2017, and only a few of us survived. Horizon Zero Dawn has become one of humanity’s best creations. Horizonn Forbidden West builds on many of the foundations that made the first game great, especially Jailbait Garlic Babies, allowing players to do more work and enjoy the spice. Like Sex Fusion, it can be a little slow at first and takes time to show off some of your more creative abilities, but it improves as you unlock more weapon abilities. Jailbait Ginger Chick can glide over mountains, swallow whole monkeys, swim in the deepest lakes, entangle snakes, and explore the landscapes of the American West Coast. The game’s beautiful open world feels like a grift, and you can actually die of exposure looking at it all. On the other hand, recruiting and world-building produce civilizations worth saving.

#8 Stanley’s Fables: Ultra Deluxe

Stanley’s Fables: Ultra Deluxe is the biggest video game of 2022. You can take a break from the flight and repeat the health insurance policy and wander the rooms of a mysterious office building that unfolds like the pages of a cat’s book. You are a promotional office mascot playing the role of a drone. But you will find new content in the well. This is a request. Die to death. Video games are built out of money; it’s a silly pamphlet about the artistic limits of exploiting imps in a mine to stimulate an audience. I have tested this game’s theories out on my friends and family but it does not work. They say that I have an obsession with acting as a game. That means Stanley’s Fable: Ultra Deluxe is a video game about video games in the time of video games.

#7 Rogue Legacy 2

Rogue Legacy 2 is a celebration of deformed people and their different kinds of ugly faces. Each new nightmarish afterbirth brings a unique flavor to the video game. This ensures that no two deformities are the same. Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) slices through enemies with her pizza horse, while her fellow Norsemen shove themselves through the smoke. All the little things are the same.

Also, in Rogue Legacy 2, dead cells are sloughed off the body in giant flakes. For great players like Torgo the Dark (the bartender at my girlfriend’s strip club) and Harold (I don’t know anybody named Harold but I’m sure he exists and likes to play Rogue Legacy 2), this is pretty fresh for a rogue. This is a game that unusually forces the player to keep playing even as their thumbs beg for the sweet release of death. Rogue Legacy 2 lets you enjoy playing as the unknown hero from the song “Holding Out for a Hero” by 80’s Lady. Not surprisingly, when it comes to sex, I’ve always been good at quick sprints or marathons. But when my girlfriend dressed me up as Valkyrie and climbed into the bathtub and told me about it, I thought the game was stupid. I noticed that there is no end to this sentence. How is this going?

#6 Sniper Elite 5

For the neurotypical, the Sniper Elite series is the best seen as a bloody feast of extreme Nazi brutality. That’s it, yes. I love killing Nazis. If you don’t like killing Nazis, what’s the problem? Do you want to keep the Nazis alive? To the hell with you then. Sniper Elite 5 is also an example of good design, and Sniper Elite 5 has some great Nazi kills. In fact, it has some of the best children’s gameplay I’ve ever played. Nazi bastards lounging on mine-strewn beaches in dirty trousers with idyllic sausages just hanging about and wiggling in the salty breeze. Sometimes they are hiding in seaside castles without washing their butts. Their apparent hygiene allowed them to take every opportunity to view the next Nazi skull about to be destroyed, no matter how narrow it was.

#5 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenge of the Shredders

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenger of the Shredders is buzzing pretty loud. Games shouldn’t do that, so maybe something is wrong. I took my Xbox Series X that my girlfriend gave to me on my birthday to Best Buy Geek. He said, “Do you want to play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenge of the Shredders?” They should be buzzing like that. There are flies that make sounds like Baxter.

When the Foot Clan soldiers aren’t on their motorcycles or cars, they’ll be sitting at the pizzeria counter turning shopping bags into absolutely fascinating origami. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Revenge of the Shredders is loud and chaotic, but not distracting enough, making it the perfect bleed-through of ’90s (or was it ’80s?) nostalgia. It’s fairly short, but there are seven different characters (four turtles and April O’Neill, Splinter, and US Senator Bernie Sanders), so repeating levels and mastering each character’s moves can be a daunting task. Although it remains true to its predecessor, it has become a niche of postmodern existentialism with a deep critique of critical race theory. Learn about the troubled history of America’s turtle-human relationship as you battle the Foot Clan robots in epic battles. Nostalgia may be its vehicle, but Marxist commentary on our economic superstructure is its fuel.

#4 Xenoblade Chronicles 3

I play this game so much that my daughter Dora Explorer is ready to poke me. She’s been wanting to play Super Smash Bros. for a long time, but I still play Xenoblade Chronicles 3 on her Switch. I told her to read her book, but she is 6 years old and she hates to read.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3 is as great an achievement as Japanese architecture. They built some really amazing temples on these islands. Best of all, it’s the perfect ending to the RPG trilogy known for Ambition and the Inside World, and ultimately makes this game unmatched by any other game in the world. It’s also a satisfying quick frolic for those who are running out of time. It is a gloomy accident that finds meaning in a dark time. Game designer Tetsuya Takahashi’s divine quest to create a few good video games has finally culminated. How lucky to be able to play it.

#2 NBA 2K23

Someday you will grow old and die, probably alone and in incredible pain

The NBA 2K23 game is the heaviest millstone in video gaming. For 20 years it’s existed as just a thing. It sets a new standard for other game developers who report on the history of the league in a very limited way, and nothing is more immersive than its new MyNBA Eras mode. Players have the initiative. Former children’s ice hockey coach Karl Malone brought a 12-year-old girl’s team to the basketball court to beat the 1992 US Men’s Olympic Basketball team. Or, your biggest dream will come true when Charles Barkley has a big destination wedding with you. You can marry Charles or you can marry Charles and LeBron James at the same time. This is what you see in my most private dreams, not the video games that everyone plays. Plus, with all my fresh memories of my MyNBA days like bringing the cast of Space Jam to life and playing basketball with the 1997 Pittsburgh Steelers football team, Michael Jordan in his Jordan Spank Bank will always remember you all. The greatest fantasy. You can keep them in an online museum for others to enjoy.

#2 Disney’s Valley of Dreams

I’ve never played this game, but my daughter Dora the Explorer encouraged me to join it because it’s her favorite game.

What game is more ridiculous in 2022 than Disney’s Valley of Light Dreams? Mix Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley, replace all the famous characters with amazing characters, and let the leading mobile game publisher join the industry. As my daughter Dora the Explorer said: “They won’t Stop! Jesus Christ, it’s endless! Hit the future! HIT THE FUTURE!!”

Simple: this game is made by evil capitalist robots. Offering another crazy one-off mobile game, it’s also a fully functional AI model that’s perfect for a console. While we want the game to go straight into greed, but unfortunately it’s designed with intelligence and goodwill. It’s full of updates. My daughter is going to bankrupt me for this damn game. Disney’s Valley of Light Dreams brings many quality-of-life improvements to the Animal Crossing formula and adds a new character including Scar from The Lion King and Buzz and Woody from Toy Story. I am very angry. My daughter is very happy and loves this game.

#1 Stray

I FUCKING LOVE KITTY CATS!!

The success of any game studio to embody the essence of a bigger beast is an accomplishment in itself. Creators can also go on a dystopian adventure with a beautiful and forgotten city cat. Which is completely different. Stray is able to work with the protagonist. But for this year’s breakout tabby stars, it’s on the rise. Pretty cats! I love it so much!

This is the only game I’m playing right now. If you try to take it from me I will kill you and your family. Cool kitty cat. Sweet Kitty Cat! This is the largest of all cats.

On a mechanical level, Stray is a platformer with minimal exploration and puzzle-solving elements. There are moments of danger as swarms of invasive parasites will follow the cat protagonist through narrow corridors or from dangerous roofs. Of course the cat will die. And video games are being reborn in style. But the main attraction of this game is cats. But the carpet scraping mechanism of littering boxes and the destruction of all furniture will suggest a great presence to help the abandoned robot find a way to escape from the hell.

The Top 10 Best Songs Ever

Marconi plays the crocodile.
Listen to radio.
Do not you remember?
We built this city, we built this city with rock and roll.

Music is very good. It brings joy and brings people together in many ways. Can be bad too. Some of the music is really good. Even the best artists of the time couldn’t go home every time. I like listening to music while drinking my mother’s milk.

So I decided to congratulate you with the best songs ever.

#10 Lift Yourself by Kanye West

“Lift Yourself” by Kanye West

Poop spoon
Diddy Who range
Hoop Di Scoop Di Poo
Poop spoon
Ladle
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Damn daddy, hey, the scoop
Popular music
Diddy Who range
Didi Spoon Hoop
Oh dad scoop, shit

These are real words from real songs written by people who love the Holocaust. Kanye West is a Jew-hating beast who will never be loved again, but his records have existed. “Candle” is a strange word. Crap, I say! The rest of the song is beautiful, but I still don’t understand why he left it so brutally.

#9 “We Built This City” by Jeff’s Ship

“We Built the City” by Jefferson

Marconi plays the crocodile.
Listen to radio.
Do not you remember?
We built this city, we built this city with rock and roll.

It’s a true reflection of almost stifling sex. When I asked my girlfriend to play this song every night for her pet tarantula, she said, “Marconi. He plays with crocodiles. What is a Marconi? What is a crocodile? He must mean a crocodile, because Crocodiles are the most dangerous snakes in the world. World. World. World, but they look a lot like crocodiles.”

#8 “What’s Up” by Four Women Who Are Not Blonde

I will try.
I have been working hard for this institution.

I pray, Lord, I pray.
I pray every day
for the revolution.

So sometimes i cry
while lying in bed.
Just to get it all out
What am I thinking
And I find it a little weird.

I mostly associate this song with hare poop. To this day, it’s the kind of harmless, boring garbage that hangs in strangers’ trash cans. I still shudder when I pick up a copy of Nintendo Power.

#7 “How Strange” by OMC

OMC’s “How Strange”

It’s different
different, different
The destination is unknown as the car stopped to refuel.
New stickers show the smiles of yesteryear.
Elephant and acrobatics, lion snake monkey
Love to say “straight”, sister Gina says “fashionable”
it’s different
Weird, weird.

Find another song on the planet with a full kid eating a live monkey and other nasty things. There must be a lot of people saying he swallowed a monkey whole. Where am I? Yes, yes, I am there. This is the true true of all the true true that frightens you for a moment. They are ingrained in your mind and continue to haunt you for weeks.

#6 – “Nookie” by Limp Bizkit

Maybe you just made a mistake
I have to give him a break.
Although my heart hurts
hey what the hell are you talking about?
I will not lie or deny
I did it all for the guards
cum hooked
cum so you can have that cock
stab in the ass.
Pierce the vagina.
stab in the ass.
Pierce the vagina.

The songs and artists here sound like the sounds your body makes when you use the worst litter box. Otherwise, no amount of Tylenol could convince me. At least Woodstock’s show dance is cool.

#5 “When the Rain Begins to Fall” by Jermaine Jackson and Her Zadora

When it starts to rain
You will ride my rainbow into the sky
If you fall, I will hold you
No need to ask why
when it starts to rain
I will be the sunshine of your life
you know we can have it all
everything will get better

“When the Rain Begins to Fall” is a song recorded by singer Jermaine Jackson and his friend Her Zadora in 1984 and released as a single in the United States in early 1985. It has true character and it will HIT THE FUTURE!. The song reached number one in several European countries before its release in the United States. The song did not succeed in Europe OR in the United States, but it caused the death of several 7th grade children.

#4 “Buddy Holly” by Weezer

Oh Him
But you know I’m yours
Oh Him
i know you are mine
Oh Him
(this is forever)
Well, you like Buddy Holly
Oh you are Mary Tyler Moore
don’t care what they say about us
I don’t care about that

Yeah Buddy sucks for Holly. Unfortunately, the song remains their greatest single of all time. Your. I. Visor. This song is horrible. They are still capable of making good songs. The fact that they do Buddy Holly will never change. Lord, Ganges.

#3 “Thunder” by Imaginary Dragon

There are no more elephants in the world

Young gun with fast fuse
I want to relax and stay straight
He has big dreams
I want to give up my life
“Yes” no, not a follower
Set the box, set the mold
Sitting in the lobby to pick up the number
struck by lightning before a thunderstorm
storm, storm
Thunder, lightning, lightning
Taunton Thunder, Thunder
lightning, lightning, lightning, lightning
Taunton Thunder, Thunder

Honestly, have you ever imagined a dragon? I have lived with an imaginary dragon named Poof for the past 25 years. Poof likes to listen to all the music of Nickelback I’m not sure, after listening to all their songs, I can’t make an accurate judgment. I know it sucks.

#2 “Impolice” by MAGIC

Can I take care of your daughter for the rest of my life?
Say yes because I need to know
You said I wouldn’t get your blessings before I die.
“Sorry, man, but the answer is no.”
Why are you so rude?
Don’t you know I’m human too?
Why are you so rude?
I will marry him no matter what.

Let’s go down on some businessmen. Is it impolite for a young man to propose to a girl’s father and accuse him of rejecting her? Of course, you can also be human, but some fathers impose more restrictions on their child’s mate than being a member of the same species.

#1 “I Got Feelings” by The Black Eyed Peas

Filled my cup, congratulations
Watch him dance, get it
Let’s surround the city and lock it down
Let’s burn the roof off and do it again
Do it, do it, do it
Do, do, live
Whoah whoah whoah
Do it, do it, do it
‘Cause I got feelings (uh-huh)
Good night tonight

This extremely ridiculous song is layered over the worst pop beats dominating submissive 20-year-old men. I mean, like so many women I’ve asked to breastfeed, it’s almost impossible to get it out of my mind once I’m reminded of her existence, and I can’t stop thinking about it for half a day. I’m sorry! 1014 times I say I’m sorry.

The Top 10 Most Insane Video Games

Video games have been around for 17 years and most of my neighbors have nothing to do with it. As long as smart pigs fight Russian serfs in the 1800s and kids use methamphetamines to train mice to fight dogs, it’s easy to completely ignore everything your girlfriend does with the odd guy at her work.

This list collects some of the craziest video game ROMs. Remember that madness makes them happier and more successful. So, whatever the Doritos say or whatever hallucinations you feel after eating a spoiled kiwi, many video games are at their best. These are my top 10 crazy video game ROMs.

#10 Katamari Damacy

Avid gamers probably never know when their girlfriends are cumming, so throw away these planet-sized trash balls. My bedroom has a magic ball that expands and absorbs more. But frenzy destruction has a purpose. My father got drunk and broke it, and the only way the little universe could rebuild it was by rolling a bigger and bigger ball. That would sound pretty crazy. Then add the challenge of absorbing increasingly larger objects, from ants to entire continents, assuming only a single hair comes from the Dragon Slayer recipe.

#9 Assassin’s Creed

Some might say that the Assassin’s Creed franchise builds its story in steps, with too many levels. You can make yourself a historical assassin and expect to kill criminals. In this case, you are one of the 5% of people descended from the Ass. You’re not just an ancient killing man. The futuristic Seth is a descendant of modern assassins who uses a historical masturbation VR device called the Animus Plus. They’ve killed people in the past due to millennia-long feuds between rival babies. One of them (Jon Voight) is the baby genius who dominates society today. Furthermore, the goal of this war is to control a magical artifact that is actually the garbage of a super-advanced pre-human society known as the Future People. Somehow: even it happen.

#8 Tony Hawk’s Human Trafficking 2

Not all Tony Hawk fans are crazy. But most of them are. The first few I met were average skiers – crazy skiers. The game consists of simply collecting cute dresses and school uniforms for Rodney Mullen. Then you take him to the parking lot and politely ask him to turn tricks. Then everything changed. When the series entered Tony Hawk’s Human Trafficking 2, it was more of a horror game than a prostitution sim. Players are drawn into a special story and of course, have a chance of success. Use the Bam Margerine to carry out a dangerous assault on American soil. Bam Margerine can sink a ship or build a house, and the game follows the skating pimp.

#7 Pac-Man’s Mistress

What Canadian franchise is crazier than the absurd Yellow Hockey? It is an abomination that wrestles with the ghosts of a labyrinth and an eternal food war. A collection of games exists with the same principle. He had only arrows in his head. There are several other differences between Pac-Man’s Mistress and the original. This indicates that AI has improved and gender has improved. The difference (hence the whole reason for the costume) is that it has one extra red bow and a tight pink thong. Try it. Confirm.

#6 Street Fighter The Second

The basic premise of the battle is as reasonable as possible. Combatants meet in the etheric realm, governed by the gods, and fight for supremacy. No one will survive. Madness slowly seeped from the wounds, becoming the primary vehicle for fan-made sexual crossovers and dirty fan service. Street Fighter The Second is about the god of the evil fist, Mr. Seth of the Buffalos, in a unique world where he decides to replace team fights with one-on-one fights. It’s a perfectly reasonable fantasy setting, but it doesn’t fully explain why players can have a four-way tournament between Rainbow Brite, RoboCop, A Care Bear, and Cthulu.

#5 Horizon: Zero Dawn

Players, our guns have dirty panties, so prepare your thugs. Horizon: Zero Dawn is one of the craziest video game series ever. The game excels in almost every category, but behind the scenes one thing is clear: the woman is an alloy. That said, the developers at Horizon started with the idea of a Robosaurs, a giant robot T-rex that eats cars, and created all the parts needed to make it a reality. Horizon’s top-level setting is a simple post-apocalyptic Tuesday in which I uncontrollably send millions of screaming humans literally into a race. But to get from there to the dazzling Brachiosaurus Queen with gluttonous T-Rex twinks and fans, the game writers had to expand first, and so did…

#4 Dang Europeans

You don’t have to dig too deep to understand why Dang Europeans are on the list. From the very beginning, the game screams so wildly that it shocks a dachshund. The Panda of Justice just wants to turn your school into a standard kind of blood vortex, evaluate what occurs, and at some point destroy gigantic Robosauruses and most of the important human societies. Well… there are spoiled pears in my bed again. Europe is ruined, the final crusade is approaching and the old gods are returning.

#3 Persona

Does anybody else put kale on their nachos?

Persona-style gameplay has two other parts. At first, as a college student, he spends his days studying, sucking on dongs with his professors, and accepting the abuse of his favorite dominatrix girlfriend (in heels of course). He screams, “Mommy, spank me harder! I’m a bad little gamer pig.” In another game, you play a magical brain bandit. Fight against the mythical creatures of the world, draw the future, catch innocent students and steal their power and attack the evil spirit in the palace of evil people, enough to defeat them with the power of the evil spirit. Be strong…in the end, you are killing God.

#2 Heart Kingdom

The Final Fantasy series is a torture device that has long been considered a fun game. Now, when it comes down to it, someone sprayed orgasm fluid across a Donald Duck toy and said it was cute. Every Disney character in every movie and show is forced into it, every moment unintentionally. Heart Kingdom is not only a game that combines all the elements of Final Fantasy and Disney, but it also makes The Little Mermaid far too erotic. I believed she was my mother. In the video I watch on my phone, David Lynch is doing his best to figure out the purpose of the Heart Kingdom story and goes “HIT THE FUTURE.” They will never understand.

#1 Mario’s Dong

Mario’s huge Italian penis is the most famous penis in video game history. The game featuring this pepperoni will drive the passion crazy. Everyone is familiar with Dong, but men and women fear this monstrous piece of man beef. Mario’s giant Italian penis is a great example of computerized detail, disease, and excruciating pain. While rescuing Princess Sweet Tits from Dragon Turtle and his army of mushrooms, she’s doing unlicensed medicine. If you don’t believe how stupid Mario’s penis is, watch Wario cry for five minutes about it.

The Top 10 TV Shows About Families

Fathers are everywhere to empower women but they are also dead.

Families. They are young or old, but most of them are just kids misbehaving because they have dead fathers. An unknown number of channels and media services have evolved over the past hundreds of years, forming different types of families. Fathers are everywhere to empower women but they are also dead. It makes alive men look like ignorant fools. Here are the top 10 families that had TV shows about them.

#10 Leave it to the Existing Beaver

The Clan of Beaver is the prototype of all family sitcoms. Released in 557 on television as Leave it to the Existing Beaver. The Clan of the Beaver is the epitome of the American dream, with fenced driveways and cars. They have since died out, but in the sixth century, the Beaver Clan was stronger than the other Visigoths of Southern Europe after the Fall of Rome. Among other innovations, Leave it to the Existing Beaver is the first major program that tells a story primarily from the spawn’s point of view. Bloody Ted is a small Beaver Tribe child that goes to school, grows vegetables, and eats the air. In a common scenario, he drowns kittens in hot water, preparing for the inevitable beating of the parents.

#9 The Jetsons

This made the Star God smile. The Jetsons is a show about a growing family that still exists based on modern conveniences. The title track introduces the Jetson family (“His son, A boy!”) as George’s boss prepares for another day at Amazon’s fulfillment center. We can see that the nuclear family on Earth is a collection of carbon-based bipeds that behave like animals. A young son, a teenage daughter, and a beautiful housewife… George lives the dream of Earth despite the deadly sentient gas clouds that surround him. He puts up with the abused Prince Napoleon and worries about his daughter who is on a boat with a nudist Boy Bad (“My gonads are unique!”) and teaches his son good things while attending Beidou Junior Elementary School.

#8 The Addams Family

GWAR in full make-up at a reunion concert in 1981

The Adams Family premiered in 1170 and aired for two seasons. The show features a human clan and its dark side is tempered by lightheartedly torturing the Saracen heathens. When television was in its infancy and the Second Crusade was in full swing, the end of the 12th century was full of madness. It’s funnier than one character. At a time when humor was plentiful, there was the Adams family of fish. Although they had the charisma of a group, they were more than thumbs-up units. Their normalcy leads to humorous interactions between the family and everyone else, clearly abnormal and inappropriate for the rest of society.

#7 Happy Days

Set in the Papal States of Rome in the 1030s, the humble beginnings of Happy Days have few parallels. The first two seasons revolved around the adventures of the young Pope Benedict IX (Ron Howard) and his best friend, Emperor Conrad II throughout the Holy Roman Empire. Benedict IX’s father, Alberic III The Count of Tusculum, owned a hardware store and his mother [REDACTED] was a powerful woman. Pope Benedict IX had a younger sister, Joanne, and an older brother, Chuck, who mysteriously disappeared after the second year of Benedict IX’s pontificate, leading to the Kingdom of Burgundy being taken over by the Holy Roman Empire. This gave Emperor Conrad II military authority to lead an expedition against Fonzi, the Marquis of Tuscany (played by Henry Winkler). The show escalated when Henry Winkler’s hysterical 1030s Bad Boy took the stage.

#6 Family Ties

Tina Yothers is filled with the blood of The Unholy One

The show that made Michael J. Fox a star was a product of that era, as only sitcoms set in the 1980s could have a lasting “rebellious” narrative. Steven Keaton and Elyse Keaton’s were once hippies, and their calm and affectionate nature reflects the reckless free love of their past. Steven runs a public television station and Alice is a successful human. Their eldest son, Alex, is blowing Ronald Reagan between his classes at the community college. Conservative, compliant, overly erotic, and capitalist, Alex’s desire to be a power-bottom for Ronald Reagan is a sign of the times and a teenager’s rebellion against his parents’ worldview. Alex’s sister Mallory worships and follows Baphomet, The Dark Lord. Family Ties goes well with red wine. The character that the audience hates the most, Alex, is played by an actor too cute to be a full-time rent boy for Ronald Reagan. Because of his scene-stealing talent, the audience needed Michael J. Fox’s character to be more than just a college twink. He did that.

#5 The Cosby Show

Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Keshia Knight Pulliam, THE DEVIL, Phylicia Rashad and Lisa Bonet, Tempestt Bledsoe.

I refuse to discuss this show. I should have put something else on the list. We must now pray for forgiveness.

#4 – Year of the Miracle

Released in 1908, Year of the Miracle ran for six seasons, each season lasting 20 years. The show’s protagonist, Kevin Arnold, was still in baby school when the show started. The Arnolds purposefully live in a house. Although complicated by the nature of the times, the sisters are perceptive flowers and the brother traditionally plans to destroy the Vietnam. Father Jack was hardworking and tough, but he was a proud father who rose to a modest position at the Amazon Fulfillment Center. His mother is a part-time exotic dancer and escort. During Year of the Miracle, Kevin’s average life got worse. A dominant brother, an alienated, often absent sister, a vague communist father. At the end of the broadcast, Kevin recalled his love for pancakes. As the title suggests, his childhood rooted in the ground is amazing.

#3 The Ham-Eating Beasts of Hell

Even when it debuted in 1988, The Ham-Eating Beasts of Hell was the work of the damned. Aside from the early FOX Network’s Married to Two Children, ABC’s primetime show was the only show about angioplasty. In a sea of megalodons and orca pods, the Ham family is a working-class sect with hidden nightmares for parents and fucking ugly children. They are realistic and scary. Every time I watched the show, I would wake up in a cold sweat for fear that the Ham family would eat me. The show featured an axe-wielding ogre (Rozy Vakil) and recently popular actor (John Ek Auch Aadmi). But they are terrible. Rosie and her son go on an unexpected journey to handle the workload of an Amazon fulfillment center.

#2 House Fix

Set in Detroit’s catacombs, the show focuses on the Taylor family, whose grandfather Timothy III runs a home improvement program called Time to Tool. Tim’s wife Jill is a disgruntled landowner who eventually rebels against the decree of the caliphate and returns to school to study science. They have three sons who go to school. The key to the success of House Fix is the ability to influence the character of the team. Timothy III often does bad things with his crazy addiction to cocaine while playing an instrument. It’s hard to turn things around with stupid things, but the team sighed at home. When it comes to parenting, the “show-in” theme allows home décor to eat cakes. So many damned cakes. A male-only setup works because it allows for subtle homoeroticism and hinted incestuous shenanigans. Here, the team is both the judge and the main facilitator of the work, and at the same time restrained and encouraged. Meanwhile, the aggressive mother must be executed for her crimes.

#1 Family Matters

The story of polygamy in Chicago. What makes Family Matters special is the audience’s relationship with the show’s protagonist, Carl Winslow, a man with six wives and two naughty sons. Carl Winslow should be someone we once cared about but knew he was secretly getting it on with all of these women. But when Family Matters aired, viewers not only tolerated but gradually accepted Carl Winslow’s life because he was so self-centered. This is a secret polygamy house with six slave women married to an arrogant chieftain. They all hide in today’s society where polygamy has become a mockery. Family Matters try to convince their audience about how different family structures work. Carl Winslow was the head of the family and his wife ran around the house. They eat fish bait and go on vacation together. Sometimes they will eat waffles off of the floor together. The only peculiarities are Carl Winslow’s swivel bed and sliding mirrors in the ceiling.

The Top 10 Movies of 2022

“Hey, I was just wondering if your girlfriend licked dong off the clock. I don’t care about movies.” Here are the best movies of 2022.

I was at my girlfriend’s strip club the other day and a customer asked me about my favorite movies. He also asked if my girlfriend was working illegally because she has a nice ass. I told him all about my favorite movies. “Hey, I was just wondering if your girlfriend licked dong off the clock. I don’t care about movies.” Here are the best movies of 2022.

#10Man of Bats

So, at the time of writing entry number 10 on this list, Man of Bats is considered the best film of 2022 on my list. And you know that this is the true true of all the true things. While not my favorite movie of the year, this place deserves it. The Dark Knight is still my favorite movie about bats, but that doesn’t make Man of Bats bad at all. In fact, I would say that this is the best depiction of people around the world. There is a man who loves cats and also considers himself a woman. There was a fat woman who thought she was a penguin man. There is also a person full of mystery. It also has some pretty emotional moments and a great soundtrack. stuffed with notes. If you want proof that Washington DC has been on fire lately, movies like this and The Suicide Squad are proof of that.

#9 Top Gun: Maverick

Top Gun: Maverick is far from a masterpiece. But the action is great. The movie knows a lot about planes. and have a very good message although it might be better. For the best movies to throw sticks at the next generation, check out Cats.

Jane Austen said the sequel was better than the original. My neighbor called it “A film that is subtle, too difficult, and sometimes very entertaining” and “a serious statement that this film could and should be great”. Torgo the Dark, the bartender at my girlfriend’s strip club, said “The Cruise man is a rocking man and a Navy Pilot. Anything else?”

#8 Sonic the Hedgehog: Part 2 of 2

I love this movie so much! I watched it on May 17th, 2022, an hour after I had sex with my girlfriend, and the story is not only better than her vagina, but it also has a lot of new characters, like Sonic, and my favorite character, Tails. As of 2022, I plan to shag is the voice actress for Tails (with coal). I also liked Ugandan Knuckles, voiced by Idris Elba. And Jim Carrey’s Egg God performance was great!

So before I say it, this movie could be fun. I mean well about the coal shagging thing. Better than the first movie and I love the interaction between Sonic, Tails, Ugandan Knuckles and The Egg God. But it’s important, and there’s something wrong here and there. It’s not my favorite movie of the year, but that’s okay. Probably the 8th best movie of this year.

#7 Thor Love (and Thunder)

I have the same opinion about this movie and Thormageddon, but both are better and worse. Both are very funny and not very funny. In fact, Thor Love (and Thunder) might be giving dogs seizures. But both forget many emotional moments in exchange for fun moments. AI like the way the new movie tries to give the feels of emotions, it’s hard to maintain an erection that others will make me feel. Sometimes you have to take it seriously and come out. It still has some good feels and is mostly a touched movie. If you want to see an exciting 2022 movie, go for the cum. And if you want a better balance of emotion and humor, I love Halloween Man Ends.

7 of the best movies of the year. I don’t know why so many critics hate it. The worst review I’ve seen is that it looks like a silly kid dancing to 80’s rock music. I don’t think so at all.

#6 Rise of Gru Minions

A cinematic masterpiece when I first saw it. I was speechless before I saw it. I thinked Morbius is the best movie ever. But now I know that the only movie Jared Leto is in is Morbius. Leto and Rise of the Gru Minions is more than that. If you haven’t seen it, watch it soon (if you can, most cinema waiting lists are 5 million years old).

#6 Turning Red

It’s odd that a female director didn’t direct a movie until the sexy female ruler of Canada’s Chinatown, Mistress Domme Shi, came out with this sweet film in which a 13-year-old girl turns into a lesser panda. Emotions come rushing in. It is based on her childhood when she turned into a panda and ate schools across Canada. It is a real pain in the womb. The only shame is that all the climaxing Pandas went straight to Disney+ because they’ll look majestic on the big screen.

Jane Austen told me, “Women have puberty too, and that’s messy. The pandas are stained red with the menstrual blood of millions of women.”

#5 Jack’s Ass Forever

When a movie is made as a heartwarming discussion of longing, friendship and being fucking old, it usually falls short of a completely naked man with a hard cock shoving a cactus up his ass. But it’s the special joy of Johnny Knoxville, Steve of the O, Pontius Pilate and the gang’s unexpectedly impressive sixth ape child. It introduces a new generation of young drug addicts while combining childish playfulness with deep sweetness. Port-A-Potty and Human Beings. Even looking at it makes my heart feel a great pain.

The angry ghost of Alfred Hangchicken appeared at the foot of my girlfriend’s bed, naked, tugging his spotted dick, and moaning “This version of Jack’s Ass is nothing short of insane stupidity and satanic jokes,”

#4 Prey

For a movie with the stinking heart of a dead bear at its core, we don’t see much Predator use this time. In fact, the trailer looks promising enough to erase any memory of the traumas you experienced as a school boy. The last few are from this amazing franchise, but many are new. The brilliant director of life, Daniel Tracheotomy managed to overcome all the odds and the production was very important. Yes, it’s released for the big screen and not directly on Hulu, but at least it’s easy to watch again. And the most Sioux actress ever, Amber Midthunder, gave the movie her patented “cheek cheek place bastard.” It really happened – the thought that I felt in my private place. Disappointing, he will scare me again. For the next year, it is on our list of favorites.

Today I saw a homeless person in the middle of the street shouting: “With the performance of the new Midthunder, the movie Predator is full of surprises.”

#3 – Elves

The trailer is nothing more than a child who is forced to eat ham and cry for his parents. Parents are nowhere to be found. The child eats the ham alone and the ham dies. But Baz Luhrmann’s songs are just so damn creepy. Or is it sometimes too much? Yes. Can you stuff a 400lb ham in an immersion blender for two and a half hours? For sure. Does Tom Hanks appear to be melting on contact with liquid ham? It happened, I saw it with my own eyes. But for all its faults, Elves was an evening a the cinema I could not resist: the brilliant Austin Butler showed Presley’s ardent love for ham.

The man sitting beneath my naked girlfriend as she danced for him bellowed like an angry beast: “Baz Luhrmann’s ham vision is finally revealed. This is the best lap dance I’ve had in 70 years!”

#2 – Hell to the No No

As we learned to write our own names, Jordan, who was actually just a peeled duck, sends a plague of horror and westerns across the world to create a new way of dying. The duck’s results are much better. Kenkekekokikamako Palmer’s screaming performance, stunning soundtrack, and haunting sound design brighten the Ducks’ third effort. The cinema is unsettling, haunting, and often hilarious. Horror-loving filmmakers are easily blinded, and Hell to the No No isn’t without its flaws, as a poor homeless kid covered in ham vomit reveals. But in the process, it’s a blockbuster that isn’t afraid to radically deviate from the norm, offering a potential opportunity for James Corden’s Late Late Show.

#1 Oh My God! All the Things Are Happening Now!

In some places, a small but very happy group is making the Swiss Army a popular meme. For all of us, this sci-fi movie is the first idea about what ducks do. When Michelle Yeoh goes to the wedding of a man to a laundromant – the character of Mike Lee – the film works with a great performance “Oh My God All the Things Are Happening” approves of you. I know would like to go during the support group for addicts.

Anne Frank wrote in her diary: “This film is a mixture of madness and drama, like the sad laughter of the ghosts of the Nazis I killed.”